


Seeds of Redemption

by CRMediaGal



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Children, Children of Characters, Dark Past, Domestic, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage, Married Life, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Smut, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-11 05:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 133,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5615788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CRMediaGal/pseuds/CRMediaGal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The First Order may have fallen, but the Proclamation has risen in its stead. As the galaxy is threatened by the coming of a Second Darkness, Ben Solo must painstakingly navigate both sides, the Dark Side and the Light. Only he is no longer alone in this fight, with far more at stake to lose than he ever would have dreamed. Rated M, AU, Post-Episode IX.</p><p> <b><i>This story is also available to read on <a href="https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11709535/1/Seeds-of-Redemption">FFN</a> under the same title and pename.</i><br/></b><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N : Hello! My name is CRMediaGal and I'm relatively new to the Reylo fandom, with only one previous one-shot to my writing credit here on AO3. However, I hope that won't deter any readers from giving this multi-chapter fic a chance. It's not the typical Reylo fanfare, but my hope is that any interested parties will enjoy it. **
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> **Important Notes : This story is set in the future after the next two _Star Wars_ films (whatever _that_ will entail and, well, as you will see, I'll be drawing my own AU conclusions and setting things up for a very different outcome. You'll find out a lot more as we move through the story). Rating is  M for future mature content. ( _Ye be warned_ ). Fic will contain plenty of Drama, Angst, Romance, and Hurt/Comfort. Also, there will be loads of flashbacks and explanations as to how our lovely star-crossed lovers came to be...as well as a few of my own original additions who are now a part of their lives (because I can't help myself)... :)**
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> **To Any AO3 Readers Already Familiar With My Work : You'll know that I'm a total sucker for this sort of stuff, BUT this will be quite a different journey from my _Unquestionable Love_ series, if you've read that. There might be a few parallel 'issues' that crop up for the characters to confront but the storyline itself I hope will be fresh and interesting, should you wish to follow along.**

 

  
**Chapter 1**

_"Those whom we most love are often the most alien to us."_  
―Christopher Paolini

The heavy-handed grip of this place was menacing, its energy stifling (there could be little doubt about that), and yet, it felt peculiar to her senses, like a luring, enticing pull on the untapped trappings of her mind. She knew it to be dangerous, but its call piqued her curiosity, not for what the Darkness softly offered in her ear—she had never held much ambition for power—but for the person residing over this base who so strongly carried it on his shoulders, and shouldn't any longer.

She suspected what her mother might say. Yet there was no need at this moment, so her commentary stayed silent. Her light acted as their protector, rays of indigo and violet fluttering across the edges of the girl's mind, softening the violent reds that poked and prodded ever so gently, wishing to engage the young Padawan in their midst...should she choose to grant them an audience.

Amidala blinked to re-centre herself, plucking long, black curls out of her eyes. _Breathe_ , she cautioned; or was that her mother speaking to her again? _Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Yes... Breathe._

_Calm waves on the shore; the smell of fresh grass; Mum's favourite spiced cakes; Dad's restrained, sometimes sad laughter..._

_'Do not be afraid, Ami.'_

_Mere minutes ago, she had twitched and tried to swallow her fears at those words. 'I'm not as strong as Mum...or you,' she confided to him, her voice quivering despite her best efforts to show no fright._

_'You are just as strong and more capable than you have yet to realise.' His shoulders suddenly straightened. She, too, sensed the distress. The hunt was gaining, and there was little time. She couldn't read his face, but, even with that seemingly impenetrable contraption that veiled his face and altered his voice in place, the care with which he addressed her was clear; as clear as if they were conversing back home, in a sheltered oasis where no such Darkness could touch her. 'Follow your mother's lead. Look after your siblings. Stay out of sight._

_'It will be all right.'_

_That addendum had been an afterthought, meant to alleviate her nerves or his, Amidala wasn't certain; but, again, there was no time to ponder. He turned around and stalked to the blast doors, which opened with a understated wave of his hand, and her mother, who stood just out of range of the doors, leapt forward to grasp the man's wrist. Her clutch was so tight that his feet actually gave way and staggered side to side, though the temporary lapse in balance was subtle and went unrecognised by the others. Amidala was older, however; more intuitive and her senses far keener than her brother's and sister's. The darkly cloaked figure and her mother locked eyes on one another, an unspoken communication passing between them that Amidala could sense but not penetrate._

_'You'll come?' her mother whispered; there was a twinge of apprehension in that question Amidala didn't like hearing._

_He hesitated or paused. Either way, it put Amidala and her siblings on edge, including their mother. 'As soon as I am able,' was his vague response, which didn't alleviate their nerves._

_It seemed sufficient enough to satisfy her mother. For now, anyway. She gave a curt nod but dithered another moment about letting him go. Then her hand reluctantly recoiled its grip, the Light—her energy—filling the space but most especially his own. It gracefully furled and curled about him, swatting at streaks of red, whisking them further and further from the room, though not eliminating their presence fully._

_The masked individual stepped outside the blast doors and was greeted by a pair of Stormtroopers who had been tasked with scanning the lower confines of the base, searching, chasing, their prey nearly in sight. Amidala and her siblings lurched backward, all praying they hadn't just doomed themselves, but the Force was already working to their advantage, Amidala the only one of the three aware of its attendance. The Darkness tugged at the fringes, however, toying, wanting to alter their predicament and bend it to a far more horrifying conclusion._

_'They're not here,' the masked man spoke through that voice manipulator Amidala disliked; his back was turned to the inside of the room. 'Report to General Hux your findings.'_

_'They're not here,' one of the Stormtroopers repeated, his voice monotone, automated. 'We shall report to General Hux that the area is clear.'_

_The two Stormtroopers turned on their heels and marched off, followed closely by their commander. The blast doors closed, and he was gone._

_Half tempted to call after him, Amidala reeled in her flighty emotions at once, no doubt with her mother's steady, quiet aid. Such an act would have been utterly foolish at this time, not to mention secure their recapture._

_'Come!' her mother commanded of the children, beckoning them to her with a frantic wave._

_They all rushed to her side, each looking to their self-assured mother for guidance on what to do next. The youngest let out a fretful whimper before going silent of her own accord. Having her mother take her by the hand seemed to reassure the little girl—at least, for the time being._

_'This hanger is empty,' their mother deduced after a short lapse of silence in which her mind wandered, channeling the energy to spot anything sinister. She then looked to Amidala. 'You sense it?'_

_'Yes,' Amidala agreed._

_The Padawan's heart was pounding like a caged bird wanting to break free of this god-awful place. It was too onerous for her keen senses, the Darkness that lurked in every corner tempting and encroaching upon her thoughts, playing on her fears._

_'Stay close,' her mother hissed to them and, still grasping the littlest's hand, led the way through the blast doors, swerving to the right whilst keeping her back to the wall. The children mimicked her swift, precise movements, with Amidala bringing up the rear. She kept one hand on the lightsaber attached to her belt, allowing her instincts to guide her direction and determine whether it should be used._

A half hour later, Amidala found herself and her brother parted from their mother and sister, though somewhat unwillingly. The plan was simple enough—well, in 'theory' anyway: surprise any Stormtroopers and personnel stationed at the entrance to the base where their ship resided. It had been taken into the enemy's custody upon the family's arrival two days before and, according to 'Kylo Ren', it hadn't been moved.

Now, they had successfully found their way back to the runway, where Amidala and her brother were to await their mother's instructions from across the room before putting their surprise attack into motion. Only once she gave the signal would they fight back, making a (hopefully fortunate, painless) escape.

So far, her mother and sister were nowhere to be found, but Amidala reminded herself that she and her brother had only just arrived to their hiding spot a minute ago. That hadn't deterred the Padawan's racing thoughts from drawing the worst possible conclusions, however.

_It's the Darkness. Leave it alone._

What if her mother's and Astrid's efforts had somehow been intercepted? _No... You'd have felt it._ What if they had been injured or were trapped and unable to get to the entrance? _No... You'd have sensed that disturbance, too._

'Trust your feelings.' That's what her mother and father kept reiterating to her over and over again, anyway.

Amidala tried to collect herself, taking several calculated, deep breaths. The Darkness felt quite like suffocation here, impinging upon her every effort to clear her head and find her centre. _Dad..._ At least when he had been close by, the atmosphere wasn't so unbearable; of course, that hadn't meant it was comfortable or a pleasant experience either.

That sour note pained Amidala to think on, so she pushed it as from her as she could. Besides, she tried to thoughtfully consider, they would never have made it this far without him. In fact, they owed any chance at an escape entirely to him. They would still be locked in their holding cells, waiting on pins and needles to uncover what was to become of them, and not knowing if the rest of the family was safe, being interrogated, or, worse, dead, had he not intervened.

Amidala drew out a long, hopeful sigh. With any luck, they just _might_ pull this off.

Crouched behind a series of supports and wires, Amidala brushed a hand through her hair, now messy and in disarray after being aggressively manhandled. She made a thorough scan of the entrance. Four Stormtroopers stood just feet away, casually conversing with one another and entirely unaware of their presence. Three more stood at the opposite end, from whence their mother and sister were to appear at any moment. Other officials of the Proclamation—pilots, fighters, and the like—hustled and went about their business.

Still not having glimpsed eye or hair of the others, Amidala looked to her brother, who was turning over a blaster rifle in his hands. It had been stolen off of an unfortunate Stormtrooper the family encountered shortly before splitting up.

"You remember how to use that thing?" she questioned him, surveying the boy with a wary expression that should have deterred his confidence...but didn't.

He turned his shaggy head of dark brown tresses towards her, and a rather cocky smirk emerged at the corners of his mouth. It was the kind that regularly set her teeth on edge, and he knew it.

"Yeah. Safety's off this time."

Amidala rolled her eyes. Her brother was far too reckless— _And a damned idiot! Always has been!_ —especially when it came to perilous instances like this when one wrong move could put an end to more than just their aim of safely returning home. No wonder he hadn't developed any awareness in the Force. _With any luck, he never will!_

Amidala shifted her emotions, reverting back to that serene centre she had been struggling to find ever since they had arrived at this wretched base. Thankfully, her mother's and sister's silhouettes materialised across the room, and Amidala quickly chucked her own meditation to the back of her mind.

" _Han_ ," she snapped and yanked hard on his ear; the boy cursed and scowled at his older sister, " _get ready_!"

Their mother inched forward, though not far enough to be discovered, and made a gesture with her left hand that indicated to move. Amidala stepped out of hiding first, with her brother close on her heel. Her mother's lightsaber vibrated to life, blazing a bright blue that began tearing through the space, and Amidala's followed suit.

Suddenly, the room ignited with the sound of firearms and jets of light flying in every direction. Shouts for backup were barely registered above the commotion. Some ran for cover whilst others stood their ground and fought.

Amidala wielded her lightsaber according to the Light of the Force, bending and trusting in its direction. Visions of turquoise and azure passed before her eyes, guiding her instincts. 'Trust your feelings' replayed like a beacon as she spun her lightsaber at one target and then the next. Two shots aimed at her and Han combusted when met by her trusty lightsaber, barrelling back at their shooters and striking one in the chest and the other in the face. Both were instantly knocked down, dead.

Han pelted another shot at a Stormtrooper with his blaster rifle, knocking the female cadet in the shoulder but not enough to cause a fatality. The Stormtrooper cried out in pain but took another shot at the boy, missing him by inches. "NO!" Amidala cried. Another blast that would have surely struck its mark charged after Han but was redirected by an invisible hold that Amidala knew to be coming from her mother. The blast ricocheted sideways and tore through a glass overhang where officials were attempting to intercept the attack now in play.

Amidala searched for her mother, catching her mid flight as her lightsaber sliced through a Stormtrooper's armour, killing him on impact. She spotted her sister next, making a dash up the ramp to their ship. She charged forward to block a firearm that would have otherwise knocked Astrid out cold, and her sister successfully disappeared from view. Han followed closely behind, leaving Amidala and her mother to reach the ramp last.

Having overpowered the Stormtroopers, more were unfortunately entering the runway and blasting at the Jedi and Jedi-in-training, hell-bent on putting a stop to their getaway. Although Amidala had been able to occlude her opponents so far and send any shots spiralling back at the enemy, if they didn't get out of here soon, they would most certainly be overrun.

_And all of Dad's efforts will have been for naught. They'll surely find out he helped us._

" _GO_!" her mother bellowed over her shoulder, as if drawing the same conclusion. She wrenched her daughter backward by the hood of her cloak.

Amidala delayed her retreat, wanting to ensure that her mother intended to follow. Only once she spun around did Amidala do likewise, and, together, they bolted up the ramp and onto the ship. Astrid, pinned against the nearest wall, clapped the button that locked the doors, securing everyone inside.

Their mother wasted no time and sprinted for the pilots' chair at the front of the spacecraft. " _GET THIS THING IN THE AIR, HAN_!" she exclaimed, and the ship grumbled and thudded to life beneath their feet.

Amidala left her mother and brother to pilot them safely out of this mess. Instead, she hurried over to Astrid, who had remained huddled against the wall, trembling with adrenaline and fear. A severe cut on her bottom lip had drawn blood. She was far too young for any of this, and Amidala tried to slowly extract a rifle the girl was clasping too firmly to her chest. She prayed her six-year old sister hadn't been forced to use it, but both her shrewd senses and the little one's haunting expression indicated otherwise.

"It's all right," Amidala whispered, speaking in a level, calm tone she hoped might help. "Don't worry, Astrid. Everything's going to be all right now, I promise."

"But...wha - what about Daddy?" she asked, blinking and breathing rapidly. "Is - Isn't he coming with us?"

Amidala gulped down her reservations before answering, keeping her voice as even as possible, "No...but he'll be along, I'm sure. He promised he would."

The ship abruptly jerked, sending the girls off balance. The sounds of blasts pounding against the spacecraft prompted them to hastily make their way towards the cockpit and strap themselves securely into seats. _This thing always was a piece of junk_ , Amidala grumbled to herself as she helped buckle her sister in first. Her thought was apparently loud enough for her mother to overhear, for she whipped her head around so fast that Amidala thought it might spin straight off her shoulders.

"This 'piece of junk' is the only thing saving our hides right now, Amidala! I suggest you say a little prayer instead!"

_Why does everyone always get so defensive over this thing?_

"Say what?" Han probed, even as Stormtroopers continued to fire at the front of the ship. Hastily surmising his sister's inner dialogue, he shot daggers at her from the co-pilot's chair. "Grandfather would turn over in his grave if he heard you say that!"

"Oh, buzz off!" Amidala groused under her breath and crossed her arms.

"Grandmother will have your arse, for sure!"

" _That's enough_ ," their mother warned, and the promise in that threat was enough to silence both siblings. For the moment, anyhow.

Amidala's last thought before the Millennium Falcon catapulted into Lightspeed was a quiet, sobering one that she could feel her mother sharing, for the father and husband who was sorely missing from their crew. It consisted of one desperate plea: _Hurry home. Please..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : Okay, so it's extremely rare for me to pull together another chapter in such a short span of time (and it's nearly 5k!), so I should warn ya'll: this will NOT be the norm. I'm going to strive for at least one chapter a week, so any reading material beyond that is considered a bonus!**
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> **More Important Notes You Should Read Before, Erm, Reading : This story will move around a lot. As previously mentioned in my first A/N, there will be lots of flashback material as well. Events will pull together eventually, I promise, but don't expect everything to be presented in sequential order.**
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> _Thank you so, so much to the three of you who reviewed the first chapter of my new story! I do hope more of you will consider leaving me...something? Otherwise, I feel like I'm just screaming into the void here and no one's really listening... If you want more of this story, and want me to turn out more chapters like this one, please review!_  
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**Chapter 2**

_"The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie."_  
―Shannon L. Alder

_"Ben,_ please _, what is it?"_

_His stare had been weighty and troubling all evening. He had also been stubbornly occluding her from his thoughts, too. Now that she and he were alone, tucked up in bed with their arms wrapped securely around one another, Rey sensed that she wasn't going to deride much pleasure from whatever Ben was about to divulge._

_"He reached me today..." His deep voice barely rose above a whisper, sounding oddly fragile and even a touch fearful._

_Rey's soft eyes widened in alarm. At once, she bolted upright in bed, sending a portion of the sheets flying away from their warmly entwined, naked limbs. "_ What _?" she gasped and clutched him by the arm. "Are you certain? When? But_ how _?"_

_"I..." he began but was able to explain no further._

_"That's impossible!" Rey openly turned over past events in her mind, flickers of intense images from years ago that Ben, too, received passing flashes of. "We - We watched him die! I_ saw _it!"_

_Ben's mouth tightened, contorting into a grim line. The words were on the tip of his tongue, and yet, he seemed reluctant to share them. Rey's shoulders fell, eyes narrowing in challenge. She had a hunch as to what was coming._

_"What?" she pressed him through gritted teeth; she had already tried prying at his mind but his thoughts were still purposely shutting her out._

_"Well...if you remember, Rey, you_ were _knocked unconscious..."_

 _"You don't believe me!_ Still _! After everything—"_

 _"_ Of course I believe you _," he spoke over her, though in a quieter, even register. He covered her dainty hand with his much larger one, offering a reassuring squeeze in the dark. "I just..." His eyes levelled and bore deeply into his wife's, willingly transferring the faint, eerie message he had received earlier that day whilst at Proclamation's Star base. When the ghostly pictures faded to black, Rey looked worse for the wear, pale and near sick with dread. "It wasn't a dream; it wasn't a hallucination. He spoke to me, Rey. I can feel it. He... He's alive."_

_Rey discerned the light in Ben's energy as it swaddled around her like a thermal blanket, alleviating rays of ocean blues and soft lavenders washing over her, meant to encompass and will away some of the panic that was so swiftly overpowering her senses, like a tide that flows back out to sea. Neither of them could afford to lose their heads, not now._

_"All right," Rey breathed in and out several times; her grip on Ben's arm remained tight, "we - we'll deal with this. I don't know how, but we'll figure something out. We - We'll need to devise a new strategy for how to handle..." She didn't want to vocalise the demented creature's name—that would make it all too real—and only forced herself to with some of Ben's lingering, encouraging energy, "Snoke."_

_'Snoke.'_

_The name was bone-chilling, entirely evil; it's very mention dripped with Darkness, even in this most cherished, protected space of love and light, tainting the night and the air around them with the most wicked and vile energy of which nightmares were made. These days, if ever mentioned, it was supposed to sound dead on the tongue, not something that lived and breathed and still crawled amongst them, like a virus unable to be eradicated._

_Ben and Rey stared at each other for an extended period of time without speaking after that, listening to one another's nervous intakes of breath, trying to instil some much needed clarity to a disturbing situation neither of them was at all prepared to confront. Eventually, Rey was the first to break the silence. Her fingers had loosened their hold on Ben's arm and, instead, had begun grazing over the raised goosebumps that had settled upon his flesh. It wasn't on account of the cold either, for the spring air was pleasantly comfortable on this night, but for the dreadful news that had been so unfairly dropped in their laps._

_"Do you know where he is?"_

_"No..."_

_It was the truth. Rey nodded. "Do... Do you suppose you'll be able to find out?"_

_"Perhaps... He doesn't trust me; it would take an extraordinary act on my part for that to ever happen again."_

_"But... He must know you're with the Proclamation, though?"_

_"I'm sure he does."_

_Rey gulped down the uneasy lodging at the back of her throat. It didn't ease any of her discomfort, however. "Do General Hux and others know he' s alive?"_

_"I haven't figured that out yet, but I intend to do so soon enough."_

_Rey's thoughts immediately turned to their friends with the Resistance, and she perceived Ben's mind weaving in that fond direction as well. "We'll have to inform your mother first thing in the morning..."_

_Ben's lips cracked a small, strained smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Already have."_

 

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**One and a Half Years Before the Solo Family's Escape From Proclamation's Star Base**

Rey stepped outside of the hut to soak in the fresh morning air, in need of a few precious moments of respite from the ugly commotion that was playing out indoors. Ben might have chastised her for not handling the situation more efficiently— _Well, he's not here, damn it!_ —but to hell with whatever personal complaints he might have regarding her parental duties later on. The chaos was giving her a maddening headache, and the sun had only been in the sky for less than a half hour!

At present, her eldest daughter, Amidala, was grappling with her son, Han—the pair of them arguing obnoxiously loud over some damned thing or other that, frankly, was too early in the day for Rey to give any proper consideration to—whilst their littlest, Astrid, shrieked at the top of her lungs every so often, mostly just to make her small presence known to the others. Not that she didn't already receive ample observation from her parents and big brother, but the insecurity in her was already pining for more of her siblings' time, even at such a tender, young age. She liked getting in the middle of their often heated debates, if only to garner their awareness for a couple moments. Rey supposed it must be typical of that age range, the third child wishing to establish where she belonged amongst the family dynamics. She had expected that more from Han, though, the middle child, not from her littlest.

Amidala screamed at Astrid to "Shut it," which made Rey cringe. She loathed how her eldest tended to go about ignoring Astrid. The moody ten-year old might dramatically carry on about how she had 'too much to do' all the time, what with her intense Padawan studies, but that didn't lessen the ache in Rey's heart at seeing how badly Astrid yearned for so much as a fraction of her older sister's attention.

Rey would have easily given up her scrap of a home back on Jakku had she been so fortunate as to be given the gift of a sister. Life would have been a lot less lonely for the first two decades of her life had she had someone like Amidala or Astrid—or even a brother like Han—by her side.

_They have no idea how fortunate they are. One day they'll realise it; or so help me..._

Rey withdrew a long, drawn out sigh and turned to the serene, pink skies above. There was hardly a cloud to be seen, and all was quiet and still on this early morn, the occasional rumbling of a passing spacecraft not withstanding. Rey craned her neck as one suddenly soared overhead, its wings gliding towards the reformed city that lay to the East, roughly ten miles from here.

A neutral ship, Rey determined, though not with the Resistance, probably on its way to meet with Maz Kanata or some raider of less reputable standing. It didn't matter to her. She, Ben, their entire brood, even her mother-in-law, were indebted to that wise pirate's charitable, good graces. And her reliable secrecy.

Takodana may not have boasted of the most principled lot of travellers—or even permanent residents—but Maz openly denied any and all Proclamation sympathisers. It made her trustworthy, though there were other factors to her credit as well. Rey appreciated the planet's natural, sacred, feral beauty, which was unlike any she had encountered in her travels. And she had visited and resided on many planets since leaving Jakku so many years ago.

Her family could have taken up residence virtually anywhere in the galaxy, but since their arrival on Takodana two years prior, their latest dwelling felt oddly more homey and fitting than the last. Hers and Ben's roles in the Resistance meant relocating every few years was the norm, not that they enjoyed having to force their children to pick up and start over. Amidala and Han had successfully adapted to their latest habitat, but, for Astrid, it was the only home she was able to put to memory—yet.

Maz had offered Takodana as a safe-haven for the Solos when the time had been paramount, and, though Ben was reluctant, Rey was more than agreeable. Now, it was the closest to a proper home she could have ever hoped for her family. Their hut was well off the beaten path, isolated from the town centre and set back amongst a stunning array of one thousand-year old trees. If anyone was searching in these parts, they would have to make quite an extensive hike to uncover the Solo family's whereabouts.

A perfect refuge. A (near) perfect spot to hide from the Proclamation.

It was a vision the former scavenger-turned Jedi Master would never grow numb to: vast, dense greenland as far as they eye could see, the smell of salt water, the soothing ripple of running streams...

" _OUCH_!" came Han's affronted cry from inside the house, disrupting Rey's mediation. "You did that on purpose!"

"Serves you right!" Amidala snarled back.

A chair screeched against the floor like the sound of irritable nails on metal. Rey unconsciously chewed the inside of her cheek.

"What the— And that, too! _MUM_!"

" _Amidala_ ," Rey exclaimed from where she stood, like a stump defiantly rooted to the earth; she refused to lose her nerve but wouldn't hesitate to raise her voice, " _you quit using your powers on your brother this instant_."

"HE STARTED IT! NERF HERDER!"

"AT LEAST CHEWIE _LIKES_ ME! HE CAN'T STAND YOU!"

" _Shut it, both of you, or you'll spend the rest of the day in your rooms_."

Angry stomping and a few choice words were exchanged before the rowing finally receded, making all abnormally quiet for a change. _Too quiet_. Rey's senses warned her that this small glimmer of peace and tranquility wouldn't last but a moment. She rubbed a hand down her tired face, letting forth a long-suffering groan.

Sometimes it was completely mind-boggling to realise that these three beings, dependent upon her and her husband to thrive and survive in this ever-increasingly unbalanced Universe, were not only a part of her everyday life but living, breathing extensions of herself and Ben.

Not that Rey had any deep-rooted quibbles about motherhood. She merely wished her children, whom she loved as fiercely as she had loved anyone, could have been conceived and grown up at a time of great peace and prosperity in the galaxy.

Alas, that couldn't have been farther from reality. Would their children ever truly know _real_ peace; a world without the constant threat of a dictatorship or a vile Empire intent on leaving the entire galaxy in Darkness and despair?

_I hope so... I pray so..._

"Mummy?" came the sweet, innocent sound of Astrid's tiny voice.

Rey turned around and removed the sour look she had been donning. It was trying to stay in a bad—or even pensive—mood when Astrid was fluttering about, filtering hers and Ben's days with credulous questions about the world and unguarded remarks that sometimes left her parents bereft of words.

A three and a half-year old, curious youngster with plenty of spunk and personality to rival her siblings, Astrid stared up at Rey imploringly. Her smile was polite and hopeful, her hazel eyes wide and as wondrous as ever. Today, her wavy black curls remained knotted into frizzy rolls perched on top of her head, more akin to loose, disjointed ponytails rather than what were intended to be two smooth, perfectly-shaped buns.

 _Nicely done, Ben_ , Rey humoured herself over the monstrosity he had left her to deal with. When the man was home, Astrid preferred that her father fix her hair, though he was useless with such a task, never ceasing to come up with some wacky alternative that required Rey's fixing. Astrid hadn't allowed her mother to alter this latest hairdo, however, and had kept it intact for nearly two days running.

"Yes, little star?" Rey replied, bending down to be closer to the child.

"We see Grandma today?"

Rey's warm smile fell. "I'm afraid not, Astrid. Grandma's busy, Mummy has to take Ami to train with Uncle Luke, and Han's going with your father to D'Qar."

Astrid's crestfallen eyes lit up. "Then I go, too, Mummy?"

"It's too dangerous, Astrid—"

"But Han's going!" She stomped one of her miniature boots into the ground to emphasise what she considered to be a grave injustice.

"My little star, you can accompany Daddy to any Resistance-friendly planet in the galaxy when you're _older_."

Still dissatisfied, Astrid pushed out her bottom lip. "It's not fair," she whined softly. "I never get to go anywhere..."

"You will soon enough, Astrid, I promise. But you can come with me to visit Uncle Luke for a bit?"

"We _always_ see Uncle Luke."

Astrid did not wait on a response from her mother this time but, instead, sulked back into the house, dragging her feet and with her head hung low. She disappeared into the kitchen, mumbling her displeasure of today's uneventful plans under her breath.

 _Well, that's partially true_ , Rey agreed with a muffled chuckle. She and her children _had_ seen a great deal more of Master Luke lately, since he had become temporarily stationed at Takodana for over a month. The severely reclusive Jedi had yet to reveal to anyone his reasoning for spending so much time on Takodana of late, including Rey and Ben. His appearance certainly hadn't turned out to be of more regular use to his great niece, Amidala, and her Padawan training, though, much to their aggravations.

As for his secrecy, as far as Rey was concerned, there were no secrets to be had amongst those in the Resistance, of which Master Luke, she, and Ben were all equal members. Her Master's covertness was tiresome. It had been Rey, after all, who convinced the hermit of a man to return to his sister, and the Resistance, years before. Yet, since the fall of the First Order, and the rise of the Proclamation, Master Luke had become more withdrawn than ever. His time spent on Takodana had shown little difference in those characteristics, unfortunately.

The elderly Jedi had agreed to train their daughter, Amidala, from the time she first began showing indications of a connection to the Force at around age five, but his instructions were too often infrequent and unreliable. His training lessons with Rey had been much the same: scant and exasperatingly vague to the point of absurd sometimes (well, to her they were). Rey had hoped he would prove a more effective instructor with her daughter than he ultimately had been with her, but he had yet to fully illustrate that capability, and even spending so much time on the same planet as his great niece hadn't forced Master Luke to act any more dependable.

_'I fear it's because of me,' Ben would sometimes carp to Rey, though only in private when Amidala wasn't around to overhear. 'He doesn't trust me, so, naturally, he keeps his distance from Ami, too. He shuts her out because of me. It's completely unfair to her.'_

_'I don't think it's a conscientious thing, Ben,' Rey would thoughtfully counter him, making a point to gently press his hand. 'You know how he is... How he's long been. It pains Luke to get too close to anyone anymore.'_

_Ben's returning expression was stoic and somber, unflinching in his feelings. 'I, too, have a great deal of responsibility in that, Rey. You know why...'_

Rey shook her head to rid herself of that recurrent conversation. There was no reason to let her feelings get the better of her so early in the day. She would mediate and reflect on them later, perhaps when Astrid was otherwise happily preoccupied. Uncle Luke had made a promise to teach Amidala today, and Rey intended to hold him to that promise.

_Or so help me..._

Rey tensed, though only for a moment. She hadn't heard his ship arrive, though it had landed a good mile or two away. If the Proclamation was to ever raise their suspicions about their 'faithful' commander and decide to follow him, whether it be to Takodana or somewhere else, there was 'no way in hell' (according to Ben) that his ship would be discovered anywhere near the family's residence. Rey was perfectly satisfied with their arrangement.

" _Daddy_!" Rey heard their youngest squeak, unmistakable joy in her address as she skipped a few steps to greet him.

There was a tender, affectionate exchange that struck up between the two in the kitchen, a short conversation Rey could overhear with her sensitive ears, even at the back of the house.

"I see you've still kept your buns in place, little star."

Astrid giggled. "Mummy wanted to take them out."

"Good girl. Don't let her."

Rey snorted but refrained from rolling her eyes outright. There was the familiar sound of leather boots trudging through the house, out the backdoor, and straight for her, but she didn't so much as turn her head. The footsteps stopped directly behind her, and, even without their mutual link to the Force charging and playfully tugging at one another's energy, or the man's heavy-handed footwork, Rey would have guessed it was her husband for a number of wonderful reasons, all of which made her privately grin: his tall silhouette suddenly engulfing her in shadow; the clove waft of his aftershave that penetrated the back of her neck; the feel of those well-acquainted, enormous hands, which wielded the power to break someone's neck with remarkable ease, brushing along her skin with such delicacy and warmth that it too often left her inarticulate during said ministrations.

"You're back," she murmured, the smile easily spreading to her rose-tinted cheeks.

"Only for a little, I'm afraid."

Rey refused to allow such anticipated news to dampen his arrival. She spun around, not losing her balance, and landed comfortably within his sturdy embrace. Those stark, black robes, that hair-razing mask, all of it had been discarded, abandoned to the ship he had arrived on, as was routinely the case. Here, he wasn't permitted (nor would he ever wish) to be the debauched, twisted other half who had so ruthlessly claimed his soul decades ago, Kylo Ren. Here, he was simply Ben, a Solo clad in plain, unremarkable brown robes, a notable scar that ran the length of his long, angular face, though his wife and children didn't so much as register it anymore, and (mostly) open, kindhearted features to those he encountered, though the eyes... The eyes, they say, were terribly dark and haunting, plagued by what must have been a tumultuous past, perhaps even a conflicted present.

Ben wove Rey into a possessively snug hug, trailing his fingers across the smallness of her back and pulling her tightly to him. His lips pressed against hers, sensuous and explorative, their greeting an expression of all-consuming need.

"Hello," she hummed in return and kissed him again.

An ambience of tranquil sea greens and serene corals spurred their connection deeper, its energy powerful but nonintrusive. Not in this space.

 _Yes_ , Rey deduced without any real need to do so, her mouth smiling appreciatively against Ben's, he had indeed left the Darkness behind him. It loomed everywhere, of course, always lurking in the shadows, no matter which mask he wore or where he went each day, following and tempting its one-time eagerest of students like an owner dangling a bone in front of its most starved, depraved pet's nose; but, for now, and in this place, it was nearly wiped from his side, as if resigned to patiently await his return to the ship that had brought him home. Its sinister presence lay as far removed from the Solo family as possible, something he consciously stove at every moment to keep at bay.

Here, in this quaint hut on the outskirts of Takodana, Ben Solo could be his imperfect, tainted, yet, ultimately enlightened—and lighter—self. He was Rey's, and he was benevolent and openhanded, conflicted, yes, and often times melancholy, but, at his heart, good.

"Hello," he returned once their lip-locking ceased. His returning smile was soft, though not as far-reaching or as strong as hers. "Is he ready?"

"I believe so," said Rey as she hesitantly unfurled her arms from around his neck. "You'd best be off soon or you're likely to have a stowaway on your hands..."

Ben arched a questioning eyebrow, followed the sudden amused expression Rey was projecting towards something that lay beyond his sights, and cautiously turned around. Their youngest stood leaning against the doorway, still pouting and appearing thoroughly put out by everything. "You can come another time, little star," he pledged to her with a certain childlike enthusiasm that Rey found endearing. He only received an overdone sigh and a woeful cry for that promise, though.

"Erm, we'll just be leaving then."

Ben gave an awkward grunt, pecked his wife's cheek, and returned to the house in haste, summoning their son with a few urgent calls of his name, whilst Rey looked on, still smiling.

 

*** * * * * ***

"Shields are up?"

"Yep!"

"Compressors shut?"

"Check!"

Han stood up straighter in the co-pilot's chair, hungrily awaiting further instructions that might put his young piloting skills to the test. He enjoyed the thrill of these assessments, mostly for the proud looks they garnered from his father whenever he victoriously accomplished one of his more difficult assignments.

Ben gave his avid co-pilot a thoughtful smile and nodded towards all the deep space that lay beyond their small starfighter. They had been in the air only minutes, but this wasn't a feat his seven-year old son wasn't accustomed to undertaking. Not only did Han live for flying, but he had proved himself time and again unusually cool under pressure, particularly for a child. He had been testing his flying skills ever since he was first able to sit on Ben's lap and successfully reach the various piloting gadgets. It was important to keep expanding Han's knowledge of various spacecrafts and routes, though, so, per usual, Ben relinquished control the moment their ship took off.

"I'm entrusting you to navigate," he told Han, who didn't so much as flinch at this obligation. Ben could sense the exhilarated energy his son was putting out into the space around them, and, in turn, those feelings brought him tremendous joy. After all, it was the 'little things', he reminded himself, like spending quality time with his son, which made up for...well, all the rest. "By my calculations, it shouldn't take us—"

"More than ten minutes to reach D'Qar," Han finished for him, catching the gratified expression that crossed his father's gaze. He settled his small hands at the controls, ready to take the reigns with Ben's permission.

Ben granted his consent with another silent bow of his head and fell back in his seat, stretching his long legs as far as they might go in such cramped quarters. The pilot's chair of this ridiculous contraption didn't suit his towering frame. A kink was forming in his lower back as a result, and Ben grunted and wished it away.

It wasn't a good time for mediation either, though his entire being was practically screaming for its practice. The pounding pressure on his skull was agonising; it was slowly receding with time but only just. Shutting himself off from the Dark Side once he returned to his family was never an easygoing or straightforward chore. It was an endlessly painstaking process, one that regularly wore his mind and body down. He could use a short break right about now, and Han taking over flying duties afforded that window of respite he so desperately craved. He trusted Han to get them safely to D'Qar—the boy had flown this course once or twice before—and yet, still, as was always the way of things in Ben's too perilous-driven life, he couldn't afford to let his guard down.

_That's when all hell will break loose...or worse..._

So he settled for intense focus; or as much forced concentration as his weary mind might enable him.

With little effort, Ben closed his eyes, placing an emphasis on his breathing for a time, listening to the unfailing will of the Force—of the Light; always that precious Light that, at times, seemed to allude him, just out of range. The reverberation of the engine flying them steadfast and true towards their destination relieved much of the tension that had been pressing on his chest and shoulders. He could reach that Light. Those heavenly sky blues and sea greens were well within his grasp, tauntingly close, yet flapping above or behind him, inches away and never directly in front...

" _Son of a_ —"

Ben's eyes shot open, the shock of his body rattling about knocking him forward, though a mere moment or two passed before his sharp senses came 'round. He sat up in the pilot's chair immediately and looked around. Somehow, despite all of his meticulous efforts, he had dosed off mid-flight. He squinted in protest to the sunlight that poured into the front of the ship, moaning at its harsh luminosity.

"Erm, sorry, Dad," Han mumbled to his right, prompting Ben to turn his head; his neck was stiff from having fallen asleep at a rather poor angle. His son had a sheepish, apologetic look about him as he proceeded to hurriedly explain, "I tried to land the stupid thing without waking you, but the wind picked up at the last minute and then I didn't see that brush there until it was too late. I - I think I took out a tree..."

 _As long as it wasn't a human, I'm satisfied_ , Ben thought to himself, smartly keeping that remark under wraps. "It's all right, son," he insisted with a reassuring pat to the boy's shoulder.

Han was already dashing down the ramp to inspect the damage before Ben could properly stifle a yawn behind his hand and unstrap his seatbelt. He instantly felt the faintest pull of the Force as he made to stand up. The feeling was minimal but effective, protective and welcoming.

 _Mother_.

From inside the Resistance's headquarters, standing within a rotunda-shaped room where she was busily examining the details to a far-off solar system, General Organa lifted her head in composed, quiet acknowledgement. "Ben."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N #2 : Please, please review! Type away, my little stars. :) Also, le Tumblr is [here](http://crmediagal.tumblr.com/) if you wanna come keep me company until next time...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : Erm, well, here's your 'bonus' (another almost-5k chappie!) I was talking about in my last A/N...! (I don't know where the heck all the sudden outpour of writing is coming from, and I can't guarantee it will last, but thanks be to the _Star Wars_ fandom, more particularly the glorious ship that is Reylo, for lighting a much-needed fire under my Muse's butt!).**
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> **Remember : this story will jump around a lot. Hence, the need for times and locations now, italics for flashbacks, etc. If you have questions on this, feel free to ask, but no Jedi mind tricks! ;) And, just a thought, it might be worth refreshing yourself with a reread of the last chapter before moving onto the next.**
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> **_Also, I just wanted to give a shout out to my reviewers: anon, angiedc, ashotofjac, Hellstenglow, anon, morri, Vacilando, and Carowen for your wonderful feedback! Your reviews were so encouraging and got this chapter up even faster! :)_  
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> _So, if you're following along and enjoying this story, please let me know! I'd love to hear from you; or even a Kudo will do. No, really!_  
>  **

 

  
**Chapter 3**

_“Toil without song is like a weary journey without an end.”_  
―H.P. Lovecraft

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

From the control centre on Proclamation's Star base, Kylo Ren watched with suppressed trepidation as the Millennium Falcon disappeared into deep space, carrying his heart aboard with it. Well, perhaps not _this_ heart—blackened and soiled by so many wrongdoings, swallowed by Darkness and spit back out again—but the better half of that blemished heart, invisible to all in this part of the galaxy, travelled with them. He hoped Rey and Amidala could sense it, faint as its beat may be.

There was room for a speckle of hope. Family had brought that to him. _She_ had given him back that belief.

From what he could secretly pick up from the Force, his wife and children were on board and accounted for. That was of little relief, however, for three tie fighters had been deployed from base and were in route. The leading pilot's voice buzzed over the intercom, reporting that they were about to make the jump to Lightspeed and follow the Millennium Falcon's trail.

That meant only one thing to Kylo: Rey and the children weren't in the clear yet. His hands balled into fists and his breathing grew more and more erratic as each second ticked by, audible only to those who happened to be within earshot. Any nearby crew, who easily misinterpreted the warrior's tense body language to mean an explosion was brewing, tried to shuffle out of harm's way. No one desired to be the unfortunate bastard when Kylo Ren finally unleashed his vicious temper.

" _I want them alive_!" Kylo vaguely heard General Hux growl to a seated control operator. Issuing several angry huffs, the scruffy, overweight, redheaded commander paced at the front of the highest level of the control centre, passing behind Kylo's immobile silhouette that stared determinedly out the window. He ground his teeth as they awaited further news from their tie fighters, with his chubby hands clasped behind his back and sweat breaking out on his forehead.

 _A damn fool_. Kylo ignored him.

The general's emotional antics and desperate strategies to catch Kylo's family hadn't changed much since the fall of the First Order—a humiliating, crushing blow to the power-hungry leader of their political and military organisation—they had merely made him more determined, though increasingly reckless and less competent, than his younger years had afforded. He was a loose cannon nowadays, flighty, easily rattled and irritable, not to mention in relatively poor health. Years of constant stress and working around-the-clock for a Supreme Leader whose thirst was never fully satisfied would do that to you. Kylo understood that all too well.

It was a miracle that Snoke hadn't done away with Hux yet, as far as Kylo was concerned. Then again, he had a hunch that Snoke and Hux might be in on some beneficial arrangement that he wasn't privy to. It was the only rational motive for keeping the general around, despite all his failures in the past to lead their militia to victory against the Resistance; or to deliver Rey and their children to Snoke.

 _That_ was Kylo Ren's persistent, most terribly grave misstep to date as well, an unfortunate shortcoming his Master showed no leniency in making him pay for over and over again. He had yet to deliver the one Jedi his Master desired above all others, or her 'bothersome offspring', who, too, had captured his ghoulish, bottomless curiosity; but they also terrified him, and Kylo sensed that fear. The one person who posed the greatest threat to their plan to rule the galaxy had conceived not one child but three, and Snoke recognised, through his own deeply-rooted, Force-sensitive connections, that the eldest, Amidala, was gifted in the ways of the Force as well, much to Kylo's horror.

So far, Kylo and Rey had been dealt a fortunate hand. Snoke hadn't made any connection to his long-standing Apprentice and 'the girl', as Rey was only referred to. To the Supreme Leader, she wasn't worthy of a name nor were her children. The fact that Kylo was still alive, however, having not turned over his family in what had been a years-long, relentless pursuit, was remarkable, most especially to himself. He could only surmise that his exceptional Force-sensitive skills, as well as the unshakable loyalty he had proven to his Master, the First Order and, subsequently, the Proclamation time and time again, were what was keeping him from having his food poisoned or being murdered in his sleep.

So long as Kylo Ren was useful, he wasn't expendable. So long as he continued to show his trustworthiness would he not be left out in the cold—well, not entirely. So long as he continued to pursue 'the girl' and the 'offspring', he had a chance at staying alive. And he _would_ tread that perilous, threadbare line to the end, so long as it meant keeping the Supreme Leader from what he so desperately wanted, and what Kylo Ren—Ben Solo—cherished above all else in this world. If Snoke wanted to take his family from him, he would have to pry every one of them from his Apprentice's cold, dead hands.

"We're losing them!" came the lead pilot's sudden transmission over the intercom.

General Hux sputtered several colourful words and grabbed the nearest operator by the cuff of his dress shirt, yanking him out of his seat. "BLAST THEM, YOU IDIOT!"

Kylo turned his head, watching, waiting. This was a treat. At least he might derive personal enjoyment from what had been two extremely horrendous days of witnessing his family suffer under the enemy's torments by witnessing one of Hux's more embarrassing breakdowns.

"But - But, Sir," the operator stuttered, "if we - we strike too hard, we risk killing the captives—"

"I know that, you insignificant fool! Give the order! Tell them they are not to return here without the fugitives— _intact_!"

Hux threw the scrawny operator back into his chair. The poor lad fumbled to strap his headset and microphone back on top of his head, shaking all the while, and stammered Hux's command into the mic.

A few seconds later, a more frantic report reached them from the leading pilot's cockpit. "Sir, we can't get to them without taking out three of their four—"

Hux leaned down, ripped the mic from the operator's ear, and screamed into it, "FIND A WAY, YOU IMBECILES; OR CONSIDER YOURSELVES EXPENDABLE!"

From behind his mask, Kylo Ren allowed the thinnest, gleeful smirk to slide across his mouth. This day hadn't turned into total fodder after all. Rey and the children were safe, skidding further and further outside of the Dark Side's clutches, and Hux looked like he was about to be sick, cry, or faint. Perhaps, if Kylo Ren was lucky, the general might succumb to all three.

_My luck is never that fortunate._

_'I require you,'_ a raspy voice suddenly summoned from afar, its familiarity one that regularly invoked dread, uncertainty and terror, even amongst its most faithful of servants.

Kylo straightened and answered, _'Yes, my Lord.'_ He left Hux to stew over their lost fugitives and headed for his ship.

_No. My luck is never so fortunate._

 

*** * * * * ***

**One and a Half Years Earlier**

**(D'Qar, Resistance Headquarters)**

"Mother."

Ben inclined forward to embrace her with warmth, wondering if he would ever grow accustomed to the much fiercer hug he received in return. She may have been a petite woman whose height stopped at his chest, but her hold on him was surprisingly strong for someone so small. When he reared back, she was beaming up at him, ethereal brown eyes welling up with tears. She was nearly always brought to tears these days when she saw him.

How, for a time, had he forgotten how beautiful she was? That caring, natural affection that so earnestly stared up at him—a mother's unbreakable love that he was certain he would never glimpse again upon his return to the Light, and how could he have blamed her had she denied him?—still caused him unspeakable pain, and he did his best to ignore the pangs her nurturing energy was enforcing on his heart.

How vicious a struggle it surely must have been for his mother to smile again; to laugh; to find a scrap of a reason to carry on in this life? He had never had the heart to ask her about her struggles. It was probably for the best; the subject matter was too damaging to unearth, like throwing salt on an old, festering wound.

Looking into her eyes, though, Ben was reminded of all the joy he was responsible of robbing her of over the long years he had been away. The guilt crippled him—enormously—and would have very well consumed his soul years ago were it not for Rey. _Rey_. She had taught him how to cope; how to move past the overpowering anguish that came with regret, shame, and loss. Yet learning to forgive himself was a daily struggle, and his mother one of a handful of sore remembrances for past reprehensible mistakes.

Ben reeled in his guilt-laden thoughts, not wishing to grant them attention, particularly in his mother's presence. She would only sense the gross misery that accompanied him, and he had no desire to ruin this visit with any of his own personal woes.

"I was beginning to worry," she said, speaking low in the hopes that her grandson wouldn't overhear. She needn't have worried, though. Han was happily occupying himself with the 3D solar system map General Leia Organa and her military personnel had been inspecting, a system Ben was well acquainted with but his son was not. He and the general watched as Han hammered her staff with question after question, running from spot to spot on the map and itching to know more.

"I'm sorry," Ben apologised and bowed his head, regaining the general's attention. A few dark hairs swept over his equally dark eyes. "I was...delayed," was all he gave by way of an explanation. Her smile faltered. She seemed to understand the truth behind his tardiness and didn't pry for more details, as if the awareness would only bring her physical harm to know. "I stopped at home first to see Rey. And Han's been wanting to fly together again for some time so..."

At that, Leia's smile rebounded. "I'm glad you brought him. I know how important it is to you and Rey that he feels involved in our efforts."

Ben allowed his lips to crack the slightest smile. "He and Astrid hear enough talk of the Force at home. They deserve certain attentions of their own."

"Of course," Leia readily concurred and stole another loving glance at her handsome grandson. "How is Ami? Astrid?"

"They're well."

"And Rey?" she pressed, to which Ben considered how to answer for a short pause.

"Frustrated."

"Aren't we all?" Leia let forth a ponderous sigh, the gravity of that reply steering their conversation towards a far more serious topic that both had been dancing around since Ben's arrival. Her voice lowered again. "I assume he sent for you?"

Ben's nod was quick and self-effacing. "Yes."

"Did he tell you anything? Anything useful?"

"No, I'm afraid not. He spoke mostly of...Rey and Ami." The reminder of his and the Supreme Leader's last conversation left a sour taste in Ben's mouth that he made to will away.

"Nothing of his plans?" His mother's eyes bore into his with more desperation than before. "Nothing of where he's harbouring this new weapon of his?"

"No, and I can't afford to prod it out of him. He senses everything; it's too risky."

"Then perhaps you shouldn't..."

Ben raised his chin, suspecting where Leia was headed with that unfinished thought. The caution that marred the graceful, aged lines on her face, too, gave every reservation away she had been trying to withhold from him.

Ben's temperament rose, simmering towards anger and resentment, though he tried to squash the ugly feelings. He knew how to channel them into positive energy—towards light, patience, and understanding—but denying the bad chemistry only made him feel worse. He reminded himself that he was far too exhausted right now for a row with his mother.

"No," he managed through a clenched jaw, "I can't."

"Ben—"

"He's only _now_ beginning to let me in again. It won't be long before I'll have something; something compromising that the Resistance can use against him. You have to give me more time."

" _Time_ ," Leia lamented, issuing another one of her sad, begrudging sighs that unnerved him. "Time is working against us, Ben. Even now, the enemy expands across the galaxy, regaining its strength and buying it's time for war. Time, Ben, is something _we don't have_..."

Ben started to retort but the words that slipped out weren't what he intended nor what Leia expected to hear. "You don't think I can deliver on my promise."

There was a pause, an uncomfortable bout of silence that followed. _Of course she doesn't_ , he determined with ease. How had he been such a clod as to think his mother would actually trust him to do something _right_ for once?

Ben's emotions flared again, flashes of seething red and outrage passing behind his eyelids. He tried to diffuse their power and provocation, but they wouldn't go willingly. To make matters worse, Leia hadn't jumped to speak to the contrary. The forthright emotions playing out on her face confirmed the unpleasant words he hadn't meant to utter aloud: 'You don't think I can deliver on my promise.'

"Ben," she started, consciously choosing her words carefully, "Snoke's monstrous hold on you last time was...detrimental. You spent years recouping and coming back from that Darkness. I... I never wanted you to take this on in the first place, and neither did Rey, but you insisted."

"Just say it," he interrupted, his tone now oozing with repressed acrimony.

Leia hesitated, and her eyes turned watery once more, their expression beseeching the son whom she loved to hear her reasoning. "I _do_ believe in you, Ben—I've _always_ believed the good in you, you know that—but... I just don't think you should do this anymore." At receiving her son's stone-cold glare of a reaction, Leia moved closer to touch his arm; he flinched. "It's taking too long, Ben. How much longer can we afford to wait?" She added an emphatic, "It's _not_ your fault."

Those words were meaningless to him, though. He whisked his arm forcefully from her grasp and shot her a heated, wounded stare, though Leia didn't back down. She stepped into his personal space, sensing the volatile emotions whirling about him, wanting to play; thirsting to get the better of the son she had once thought lost to their debilitating influence.

"We all knew it would take a miracle for Snoke to fully trust you again, including you. You've done everything you possibly could, Ben. No one's blaming you. We're so grateful—"

"Are you dismissing me?" he snarled, shooting the general—his mother—an affronted glare that made her cringe.

"No, my son, I just think you should consider pulling back from the leash that demon has on you."

"So you _are_ dismissing me—"

" _Before it's too late_!" She chanced a glance at Han, hoping the boy hadn't just overheard her; he was still otherwise engaged in discussions with her military personnel, however.

"You forget, _Mother_ ," said Ben, his tone containing a certain level of bitterness now that recaptured Leia's attention, "it _is_ too late. I cannot go back."

Leia opened her mouth to respond but the words had gone, evaporating like smoke on the tip of her tongue. The air felt stifling and frigid all of a sudden. The finality of Ben's remark chilled her to the quick, sucking the oxygen from her lungs. She didn't want to believe it—that her precious Ben, who had struggled so hard to come back to her, had only one choice before him: a precarious, potentially fatal path that she and others had allowed him to set in motion—and yet, there was no denying the grim, resigned determination he carried nor the quiet, insistent will of the Force that wistfully whispered in her ear. The message it spoke wasn't comforting: her son's role was set. Whether the Resistance received anything useful from Kylo Ren's assiduous efforts to regain Snoke's confidence, his efforts would continue, with or without her support.

"Go home, Ben," she pleaded, trying to control the sudden quivering of her bottom lip. She patted his arm and held onto him tightly, despite his attempts to move away from her a second time. "Please... Go home and rest. Rey and I can take care of things from here. Luke, too."

" _Luke_?!" Ben shocked her by throwing back his head and laughing, though it really wasn't laughter at all but something akin to a choking, loathsome contempt. He hardly noticed the various pairs of eyes that had settled on him and Leia, curiosity luring them towards the argument that was unfolding between General Organa and her most trusted Dark spy. "You actually expect _him_ to provide the Resistance with what it needs to defeat Snoke?"

"Ben—"

"Don't hold your breath, Mother. Luke's become as secretive and suspicious as our enemies."

Leia reared back. "That's harsh, Ben. He's your uncle."

"And the brother who abandoned you when you needed him most!" he threw back at her, the fury building from within having reached his intense, murky eyes. "Rey had to beg him to come back to you. _Beg_! And, even then, he didn't want to fight! He still doesn't want to fight; the old man believes in _nothing_!"

Leia wanted to contend her son's coarse words about Luke, particularly with the unwanted audience they now had listening in, who were depending on her and her family to offer them hope, not discouragement; but the altercation between her and Ben had turned personal. She laid a hand on Ben's cheek to soundlessly plead with him to calm down, to really look at her. He struggled to still under her touch, but, within moments, the disconcerting ire swarming in those tortured eyes finally faded. The trembles subsided, too.

Only once she was certain Ben was gazing upon her as himself again did she speak, and this time in an urgent whisper, "This is not a war between you and your uncle, do you hear? The moment we turn on each other, we lose. Enough of this, Ben. I spoke out of turn before; I shouldn't have asked you to stop what you're doing. The mother in me worries about you and just wants you to be safe, all right? Don't hate me for it."

Ben was brought up short by those words. "I... I don't," he assured her without hesitation. A relieved Leia leaned in to embrace him whilst the last of his anger receded. "I... I'm sorry, too," he added once he had completely mollified his emotions. He caught a glimpse of Han out of the corner of his eye, who was staring on at his father and grandmother with confusion and concern, and briskly drew out of Leia's arms. "We should go."

Leia was unable to mask her disappointment but understood it to be the best course. She didn't like the way her son was looking these days—haggard and paler than usual—and it was obvious that their short but vehement disagreement was taking its toll on him. She scanned him over with care, and her hand found purchase again against Ben's right cheek. Worn, slightly cool fingers stroked the ridges of the scar that jutted diagonally across the skin; she hardly saw that scar anymore. She started to reiterate her plea from earlier, but Ben, in anticipation of the words, took Leia's hand in his and offered a soft, "I will."

Somewhat reassured, Leia allowed Ben to kiss the top of her head and call to son. Han skipped over to Leia, threw his arms around her, and sped off to keep pace with his father's much larger strides. Her consolation floundered once her son and grandson were out of sight.

There could be no rest for Kylo Ren. Hopefully, with any luck, there might be respite in Ben Solo's future.

 

*** * * * * ***

_"You're not concentrating."_

_"I'm_ trying _," Rey griped out of one corner of her mouth, barely moving her lips. She kept her eyes closed, listening to the Force around her, and detected her Master sighing not far off. She had no idea why, though. If she was mucking up, he wasn't providing her any guidance or direction; instead, as per what had become his usual manner of communication (or lack thereof), he was leaving the girl to flounder of her own accord and guesswork._

_In fact, all her Master seemed to ever do since Rey had arrived on this god-awful, remote planet one month ago was offer the occasional criticism regarding her stance, where her mind wandered, or how she wielded a lightsaber. Anything else, including anything about her personally, and the old man was decidedly mute; or, she supposed, he didn't care and had lost any level of decorum when it came to interacting with other human beings._

_Without a doubt, though, Luke Skywalker was an oddity. Rey thought he would at least 'look' the part of a legend whose remarkable story had been passed down from generation to generation, across the farthest reaches of the galaxy. This unshaven, ruffled, somewhat maddening individual didn't at all resemble the great Jedi warrior who had brought down the whole of the Galactic Empire._

_Han Solo may not have been a Jedi or brought down Darth Vader with the stroke of a ligthtsaber, but he_ had _carried himself like the fabled hero Rey heard mentioned from time to time, like a whisper on the wind—that roguish outlaw turned soldier, aged by salt and pepper hair, whose deeply-etched life lines confirmed the extraordinary rumours that turned out to be very much his real story._

_Luke Skywalker, on the other hand... Well, he was just another enigma to be figured out, but thinking on her Master only served to aggravate her, and reflecting on Han Solo fuelled her heart to gall and anguish, seeping into her veins like a poison. Rey tried to push all feeling away. Evidently, she wasn't trying hard enough, for the two-ton stones she had been stacking on top of each other toppled to the ground, meeting gravity with a great thud, and so did she._

_"Damn it!" she spat and opened her eyes._

_Much to her dismay, Master Luke was leaning against other stacked stones that were acting as a convenient wall from whence to observe. He appeared to be put out by her blunder; or, perhaps, he was simply bored. Rey didn't care. He was suddenly the last person in the world she wanted to be around, so she spun on her heel and stalked off towards the ocean._

_"Attachment leads to suffering," he called after her, halting the Padawan learner in her tracks._

_Maybe it was the emotionless tone with which he so frankly spoke of someone she had very quickly come to regard like a father, or maybe she had just grown tired of how irritatingly vague and unhelpful he was, but, whichever side she settled for, Rey snapped. She whipped her head around and stared the Jedi down, unapologetic in the rage and tears that now knocked her senses far off kilter._

_"He was supposedly your friend, and your brother-in-law, and_ that _'s your response?"_

_It was the first indirect reference to Han Solo the two were having since Rey first came to the island. She had an inkling that Master Luke already knew Han was gone when she had arrived; there was no need to declare it, unless he asked for confirmation. Yet there was no further request for elaboration on his part. Rey thought he might, at the very least, wish to know how his sister was coping with the loss of her husband, but Master Luke hadn't so much as asked after her either._

_Even now, Master Luke's face was unresponsive, aloof. He merely repeated his message to her again, "Attachment leads to suffering. You must learn to detach your emotions from others, from what is the natural way of things."_

_"'The natural way of things'?"_

_Rey could hardly believe her ears. She blinked back tears that abruptly stung her eyes; or was it Master Luke's lack of empathy towards someone who should have meant something to both of them that was causing her blood to boil?_

_"He's DEAD!" she choked out, hands sweeping to her sides, as if that would help stress the point. "He died by his son's own hand, murdered in cold blood by Kylo Ren's lightsaber! Is_ that _the 'natural way of things', I wonder?"_

_Master Luke didn't respond, only stared at her for a while, eyes introspective but evasive. Unsurprisingly, his thoughts blocked hers. He ended his bit of meditation and turned his back, he and his walking stick making their way down a deep hillside and out of sight._

_Rey threw up her hands in resignation and dropped to the ground, landing in a mess of sobs and tears. She wanted to scream, throw something, perhaps hurl one of those two-ton stones at Master Luke's head and watch him roll the rest of the way down the other side of the island and into the sea._

_'Steady, Rey,' her conscience warned._

_It wasn't like her to have violent thoughts. She hadn't even let her emotions spiral this out of control since... Well, since fighting Kylo Ren in that snow-covered forest at Starkiller base._

_'Kylo Ren.' Rey furiously wiped at her wet cheeks. She had been trying not to think of him; he didn't deserve a space or a home in her head. She hated him. Hatred wasn't supposed to be attached to any part of a Jedi's character, but Rey couldn't help it. If there was one person in all the galaxy who had earned her malice, and plenty of others' as well, it was Kylo Ren._

_'Or Ben Solo...' The name made her shudder. And nauseous. Han Solo's and Leia Organa's own son! How had two such good-hearted people given birth to such a monster? How had she stared into the cold-hearted, lifeless eyes of their child and not been able to spot so much as a glimmer of their grace?_

_'Simple. They_ can't _be related.'_

_Of course, that wasn't the truth, but she felt better denying it on principle. Ben Solo may have been Han's and Leia's son at one time, but, it was like the wretched fiend himself had told his father on that bridge right before he ran his lightsaber through the poor man's chest: that son was 'gone', replaced by Kylo Ren. There could be no Solo left in such a soulless heathen. No way._

_"You're a monster," Rey reiterated aloud to the darkness, just as she had to Kylo Ren at Starkiller base the day she fought him, and won. "You. Are. A. Monster."_

Rey's sight fluttered into focus. An overly excited Astrid was tugging at her hand, demanding that she stand up. "Mummy! Mummy!" she apparently was shouting, and had been for several seconds. "They're back, Mummy! They're back!"

Rey traced her daughter's adamant pointing to the back of the hut, where two familiar faces were entering the premises: Master Luke and Amidala. She smiled encouragingly to her youngest, and Astrid rushed out the back door to greet them.

Rey held back from joining them, however. Her smile fell as she turned away from the doorway, not wishing to gaze upon her Master just yet; the one who, for good or ill, was and would remain irrevocably linked to her and Ben.

An apprehensive frown emerged, and it wouldn't be so easily removed. It was in private moments such as these when Rey found herself sometimes regretting having asked Master Luke to train their daughter. Those painful, distant memories—and often times accompanying unpleasant emotions—the Jedi's presence could evoke visibly shook her, as was the present case.

Having become paralysed in the middle of her kitchen, Rey gathered her wits—seeking that relaxed, quiet centre she knew well—and shook the last of the memory from her mind. The grisly hatred she had felt back then towards the man she now loved with every part of her being wasn't welcomed here. _Ben_. It had been Ben, after all, who had helped her to tackle those viler emotions that sometimes plagued her mind, despite the ever-present abundance of Light that followed and embraced her wherever she went.

 _It was a long time ago_ , she told herself as she walked towards Master Luke and Amidala, _and he was so different then. You both were._

_Times have changed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N #2 : ...Or have they? *waggles eyebrows* *cackles ruthlessly***
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> **Anyway, feedback is welcomed! And the Dark Side aka my Tumblr is[here](http://crmediagal.tumblr.com/) if you care to come join me in hell.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : I confess, I _do_ feel a lot of that numbing, 'screaming into the void' sensation here now, but anyway... Onward, I suppose...**
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>  
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> **  
> _Many, many kudos to the few of you who commented last time; I value your feedback and you have my love! *HUGS*_  
>  **

 

  
**Chapter 4**

_"I would enter your sleep if I could, and guard you there, and slay the thing that hounds you, as I would if it had the courage to face me in fair daylight. But I cannot come in unless you dream of me."_  
― Peter S. Beagle

_"Concentrate, Ami. Feel its will. Don't think so hard."_

_"Mum,_ stop _," her daughter droned and brought her dark eyebrows together in frustration; she was unconsciously drawing the negatives of the Force closer to her rather than away, "you're distracting me!"_

_Rey smirked as the ten-year old gave one of her more dramatic huffs and squeezed her eyes shut, shimming back and forth on her bottom to sit up straighter and refocus. The intense, albeit exasperated, look on her scrunched face echoed of the girl's father to the point of uncanniness. It gave her mother pause, who couldn't help but to regard her outright for a long, measured moment._

_Amidala was much like Ben; it was too easy to connect the dots, really, both in physicality and in personality. She was lanky and considerably tall for her age, with wavy black hair and near onyx-tinted eyes that were set off by a predominantly long nose and full lips. Her features might be considered more 'sharp' than delicate, alluring but in a 'handsome' way rather than overtly feminine._

_Rey considered some of that aesthetic_ her _contribution to Amidala's makeup as well, if only to herself. Rey had never deemed herself very feminine anyhow; or what she considered to be generally 'feminine'. She was physically and mentally strong, fit as any healthy man, and more than capable of looking after herself (she had done so sufficiently for nearly twenty years before discovering the Force), and Amidala was leaning towards those physical and mental traits as well. She was remarkably self-sufficient, even for a ten-year old, and a bit of a loner who derived enjoyment from figuring things out on her own. Ben and Rey had been astonished by her skills with a lightsaber the first time she used one around age seven. For a fresh Padawan learner just finding her footing, she was 'advanced', according to her father. Even Master Luke had to contend with his nephew, validating that Ben hadn't been able to wield some of the moves Amidala was completing in practice till he had been older than she._

_As parents, the Solos prided themselves on their daughter's astonishing accomplishments...and privately worried for her, too; but, for all her flourishing and growth, Amidala was still a child, and, with that, came its own set of challenges. Their eldest would soon be entering her teens, but she already had plenty of Ben's moodiness to keep them company. Her emotions flared and fluctuated often, tirelessly wavering between happiness and tears, grievances and unmitigated anger._

_Today, she was in one of her stable-er frames of mind, but, as Rey knew all too well,_ anything _could tip the scales. She smartly shut her mouth to allow Amidala to concentrate. The Padawan soon stilled on the floor in front of her, her eyelids rotating and her lashes fluttering every so often as her mind engaged with the surrounding energy._

_Rey remained in a cross-legged position opposite her, collected and centred but acting as a passive observer. She, too, detected the darker aspects of the Force at work, though with her eyes opening, as they plucked playfully at Amidala's mind, trying to appeal to the girl's sensitivity. It wasn't necessarily sinister—the Dark Side only ever fully illustrated its awe when a Sith or warrior already inclined to its disposition was near a Jedi; or able to penetrate a far weaker minded individual at greater distance—but, so far, Amidala had proven herself sufficient in combating its influence, though she had only ever gotten a taste of its flavour._

_That didn't mean the protective streak in Rey didn't crave to swat it from the room whenever it chose to appear. It was usually at its worst when Ben first came home after an intense period away at Proclamation's Star base, playing to the Darkness' commands and acting the faithful role of Kylo Ren to Supremer Leader Snoke. Some of that Darkness could loiter, drifting in and out of their home despite Ben's utmost efforts to keep its reach at a considerable distance. Its presence normally dwindle over the hours, but sometimes it proved itself more persistent and feisty than at others._

_Today, Rey understood that she_ had _to allow Amidala to make the call. It was a part of her Jedi training, after all; an ongoing test in becoming a capable Knight of the Light. Sometimes her daughter invited the Darkness in a little, if only to assuage her innocent curiosity, and sometimes she denied it the moment it turned up._

_This morning was a tossup, apparently. Amidala's intrigue over its presence wavered, dithering forwards and back, hesitation mixed with daringness wrestling towards a decision that might satisfy. Rey waited with somewhat baited breath._

_Amidala flinched, feeling the faintest prickling on the back of her head that shouldn't be there. "It's...insistent," she confided to her mother, a hint of uncertainty coming through in her voice. She bore her teeth and commanded it to return to the centre, towards the beacon of Light that spun contentedly between the two females, where, naturally, it had no desire to dwell. It panicked and fought back, pushing against the young Padawan's will._

_"Be strong," Rey urged her, sensing its fight. "You know what it wants. Deny it."_

_"I'm...trying..." Amidala's breathing accelerated. "Mum...something's wrong..."_

_Rey's confidence waned as she observed the struggle forming on Amidala's face. The girl was applying her entire body now to cast out the negative energy, which had grown considerably in mere seconds. Her arms were held up in front of her, shaking, and perspiration was breaking out on her forehead. Her eyes were still closed, but they rotated faster than before._

_The air had grown thick and uncomfortable, forcing Rey's adrenaline to kick in. Her uneasiness with how rapidly matters were spiralling out of control weren't ill founded, though._ No... _The hairs on the back of her neck suddenly rose to attention as she found herself whispering into the void for her husband, "Ben..."_

_Rey gradually turned her head and her reservations were confirmed by his presence. Ben was standing in the doorway, for how long she knew not but he had evidently been observing their training session. Distress was written into the harsh lines on his face, and, with the confirmation he tried to communicate to Rey non-verbally, the energy abruptly turned on an axis, whirling out of order._

_The Darkness expanded, hissing like a defensive, coiling snake about to go on the attack, and then it reached for Amidala with far more boldness and aggression than before. Amidala jumped back and shot her eyes open, just as Rey, who reacted on instinct, thwarted it like a parent might slap a misbehaving child's hand. It turned on the girl, goaded by Rey's unwanted interference, and made a rush for Rey and Ben instead, deciding to toy with its much more experienced provocateurs._

_Rey's defences were up, so it took minimal effort to keep the Darkness from gaining any strength and penetrating her space. It tired of her shields rather quickly and moved onto Ben, keenly aware of the one person in the room who would be most inclined to bend to its power._

_Amidala startled. Her body felt incapable of moving, as if each limb had become one with the floor. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, and yet, her delicate soul could sense the Darkness' thirst immediately: it_ knew _her father, assessing him like an old friend, and intended to retrieve something from him; something that would affect them all._

_Ben stumbled sideways and latched onto the wall, in need of something for purchase in order to keep his balance. His eyes pinched shut as a series of petrifying images began crossing his sight, intent upon showing him visions—indescribable horrors—that made him want to crawl out of his skin: Rey slipping away in the darkness, fighting helplessly against the shadows that closed in on her and suctioned the Light—and life—out of her poor, turned-frail body, until he could no longer hear her screams; Astrid crying out to him as the Darkness electro-shocked her tiny, defenceless form, until she was limp and no longer moving; Han gasping for breath as he tried to outrun a fiery red lightsaber that struck him hard in the back, knocking him to the ground where he no longer drew air; Amidala bowing before an imposing creature who appeared more wraith-like than living and declaring her undying loyalty to his service..._

_"_ BEN _!"_

_Ben jerked and his eyes rolled back into focus. Why was his voice hoarse; had he been howling or had that been all in his head? The room was rotating far too fast, the horribly vivid, gut-wrenching images of his family being tortured and killed still fresh in his mind._

I think I'm going to be sick _, was the last thought Ben had before he staggered forward, knocking straight into Rey's arms, and sunk heavily to the floor._

_The next moment Ben came to, Rey had his face cradled between her palms and was lightly smacking his cheeks to stir him awake. Somehow, he had managed to land on his knees but passed out, for how long was uncertain. Rey's Light was with him, though, bathing him in its warmth and serenity, swaddling his damaged, blackened soul like one of Astrid's nap-time security blankets._

_Ben could senses that the Darkness had gone, but a hefty, strained silence had descended upon the room. If Rey and Amidala had exchanged any words whilst he was out, they weren't talking now, and Ben wasn't the only one breathing hard and unwilling to so much as blink for fear of enticing the putrid images to return. Their appearance had paralysed them all, making everyone too stricken to move._

_It would seem the silence became too great for Amidala, though, who, at last, stammered out, in a choked whisper from where she still sat on the floor a few feet away, "Wha - What just happened?"_

_Slowly, Rey turned to her daughter. The colour had all but drained from her face and her large, inky-coloured eyes darted from Rey to Ben and back again, demanding and, at the same time, fearful of an answer to that question._

_"Nothing, Ami," Rey managed to reply, though her quivering voice betrayed her; she still held Ben's face in her hands. "Just... Just nightmares. Yes, nightmares. That was all."_

_Rey locked eyes on Ben and eventually relinquished her grip. Her hands came to rest on top of his trembling arms. Over time, both his breathing and the shaking eased with her steadfast touch, but the marring expression they both wore remained._

_Amidala watched them, trapped in her own petrified contemplations. Whatever silent messages were being transmitted between her parents, Amidala wasn't permitted to hear them, but she could sense with all of her shrewd instincts that they, too, were frightened, and that what they had all witnessed wasn't mere 'nightmares' but...something else. Perhaps something far more sinister._

 

*** * * * * ***

**(Cont.) - One and a Half Years Before the Family's Escape from Procalamation's Star Base**

**(D'Qar, Resistance Headquarters)**

"Dad?" Han chanced piping up as he struggled to keep pace with his father's rapid-driven steps. "Is everything all right?"

"Hmm? Yes, Han, everything's fine," Ben dismissed the boy's inquiry, perhaps a touch too harshly. He purposely slowed his stride to allow Han to catch up as they reached the bottom step outside Resistance's headquarters, where they then turned to the right and headed off towards the direction of their awaiting starfighter. "Ready the ship, won't you? We need to get back to your mother and sister."

Han nodded but eyed his father sidelong, still highly curious over the testy conversation he had peeked between Ben and his grandmother. He hoped it was nothing, but his instincts told him otherwise. His father looked tired, distracted, put out by whatever words had been exchanged, though, which only heightened his suspicions that it must have something to do with his father's involvement with the Resistance. _That_ was another mystery unto itself Han hadn't uncovered—yet.

Han's short legs broke into a run. His father clearly had no interest in sharing the details of his and General Organa's conversation, so there was little point in attempting to pry...for now. Perhaps he might be able to unearth more details about what had gone down between them later on.

Ben, on the other hand, ceased walking entirely, allowing his son to forge ahead of him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, as if to ward off an impending headache.

 _She wants me to_ quit _? How in the hell does she even think that's possible at this stage? Ben snorted and rubbed a hand down his severely drawn face, annoyed. As if I could! Kylo Ren would be the most hunted man in the galaxy. And how in the hell would_ that _be intuitive to keeping my family safe, Mother?_

Ben sighed long and hard, watching from afar as Han's floppy, brown mop of shaggy hair entered the cockpit and bounded about, preparing their ship for take-off. He hoped his son hadn't overheard too much. He and his sisters were still so innocent, so naïve to the growing dangers happening in their Universe. They had a general sense of it, of course, but, as far as Ben was concerned—and to a lesser extent, Rey—it was more than acceptable that the children remain tuned out to much of the threatening Darkness that was spreading across the galaxy. No need to pull them into the harrowing knowledge that their world was in danger of collapse until it was absolutely necessary. If their luck prevailed, this war might end well before it began.

 _Amidala, however..._ Ben's chest constricted as his hypersensitive considerations turned to his eldest. These days, she was getting a much brighter picture of the treacherous state of the galaxy—she was a Jedi-in-training, after all, with a number of questions on her clever brain of late that hinted at such an awareness—and where it was likely headed: in the wrong direction.

As long any future enlightenments from his children didn't include knowledge of his own role in this fight then Ben figured he could come to grips with their eventual awareness; of the loss to that precious unworldliness they carried. After all, it was only a matter of time before fun-loving Han and credulous, little Astrid recognised the Darkness for what it was; for what they _all_ were potentially facing.

_But hopefully not too soon..._

A delicate breeze picked up around him, flittering, caressing him like a faint whisper as the wind lightly swept through his shoulder-length hair. Ben found himself turning his gaze to the left, towards an immovable, square-shaped object of white marble that stood erect off to the side of headquarters' establishment. He paused to acknowledge its call, for it regularly spoke to him when he visited this place, and he had never failed to answer.

Ben's legs unconsciously stepped closer, striding like a current glides with the ebb and flow of the tide, towards the towering remembrance that had been assembled many years ago in tribute to his late father. The ordinary, though impressive, white stone dominated over his considerably tall frame by at least two to three feet, catching the faintest rays of sunlight that seeped down to land in between the clouds. It shone brightest across the etching of the man's name in the centre—Han Solo—and Ben unwittingly extended his fingers out to thoughtfully trace each letter.

He felt compelled to do so, as he had many a time before, his delicate senses wanting to reach across that Great Divide that separated them—Life and Death—to reconnect, somehow. And he always wound up feeling foolish for trying. How long had Ben been waiting for his father to pass through; to _speak_ to him? _To tell him how sorry I am..._ Ben found himself regularly on the cusp of connecting with the man, but his spirit always managed to allude him, fading in and out like floating memories in space; as quickly as he might appear he would vanish. _And why shouldn't he?_ Ben would reason with his undue disappointment. The man was _dead_ because of him. He couldn't blame the guy for not wanting to hang around the person responsible for bringing an end to his life: his no-good, wretched son.

_Steady, Ben..._

'Han Solo.' He read the name over and over again. It looked so final, so terribly complete engraved into that cold, dense marble. Below the name was a recording of Han's date of birth, date of death, and a simple inscription: 'Killed in the line of duty fighting for the Resistance. We will never forget your sacrifice.'

 _No... We most certainly will not._ That pondering wasn't an acid one, merely a quiet reflection charged by unremitting heartache and regret. _So much regret..._

Ben clenched his jaw as his hand slipped back to his side, his soul unfulfilled and numbed. He both despised and valued this sacred spot, finding its presence both a comfort and a curse that only he could fully appreciate.

_As well you should... You're responsible._

Ben felt the feeble sting that such rancid, ever-present reminders inflicted on his soul, but he kept decidedly mute about it. Waring with his conscience wouldn't change these ill feelings of his nor would they alter what was. He stared at the stone testament a while longer, lost in his thoughts and never detecting Han approaching from behind until the boy spoke.

"Dad?" Ben's eyes flickered and turned to his son, who was now eying him over with fresh apprehension. "The ship's ready."

Ben nodded and, for another lingering moment, he turned his attention back to his father's monument. Han stepped forward to stand by his side, leaning into Ben's arm to gaze up at his grandfather's inscription.

"I wish I could've known him," he confessed all too quietly, the purity of those words worsening Ben's agony. He easily brought his son into a warm embrace.

"I wish you could've known him, too, Han..." A strange, thin tug on Ben's free arm told him that his father, wherever he was, was gently concurring with the tragedy of his tortured son's and guileless grandson's tough reality. _And you would have were it not for me..._

 

*** * ***

Later that night, Ben stared into his wife's beautifully open, kind face and released a heavy, burdensome sigh that, without words, she patiently disentangled. That understated, understanding reaction of hers included a broad smile; that was nearly always Rey's breathtaking response after a reading of the more carefree inner workings of her husband's mind. (Her reaction to his more frequent, considerably darker and far greater discomforting thoughts, however, continuously locked away in the most guarded recesses of his mind where invaders as skilled as Snoke had trouble penetrating, was quite different).

He was grateful that his wife evidently had little interest in delving further into those debilitating thoughts this night. Rey settled her head against her pillow, wavy, long brunette locks fanning out all around her like a goddess, and pulled Ben close, beckoning his brawny limbs to roll over top of hers. He did as she wordlessly commanded, allowing her dainty, well-acquainted fingers to brush sweet circles along his lower back, teasing the sensitive flesh that stirred and awakened under her touch. Her endearing connection was tempting, consuming, arousing him like an irresistible beat.

Ben bent down to capture her lips, and the feathery, light energy that had been drifting around the edges of their intertwined bodies suddenly swelled, strengthened by the coming together of two fractured souls to form a complete whole. It's brilliance left Ben momentarily short of breath and, after several moments, he reluctantly pulled back to draw in more air, and was taken aback by the exquisitely contented look that now marked Rey's countenance.

"I love you," he breathed into the darkness, his arms mindlessly looping tighter around her naked body. "You know that, don't you?"

Rey blinked. "Of course I do. And I, you." She inclined her neck to playfully skim his lips. "Don't be afraid," she insisted softly and kissed him again, though with more fervour than before, enticing her fellow warrior's torn, grey life force to become one with hers.

"I'm not," he confessed against her warm mouth, encourging another one of her sensational smiles to appear.

" _You feel me_."

It was a statement, not a question, and one he would happily rise to answer. " _Yes_..." he hummed and closed his eyes, gladly submitting to her will. He _did_ feel her link, all of her grace and fervid regard; utterly, completely, unequivocally.

Rey's response was uniformly embracing, absolute, " _And I, you_."

 

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Deep Space)**

"Mum, they're gaining on us!" Han tapped at the decreasing odometer reading amidst the cockpit's many buttons and apparatus. "Traction's slowing us down!"

Rey fumbled to unbuckle her seatbelt. "Keep an eye on that odometer while I check out the hyperdrive!" With that, she bolted out of sight and down a ladder to fiddle with the controls. That left Han to steer the Falcon on his own as they sped through hyperspace, desperately trying to outrun three tie fighters who were closing in on their tail.

Amidala sat rigidly in her seat, feeling the inveigle of the Darkness gaining friction on them, and made a last ditch effort to meditate in order to keep it at arm's length. So far, her attempts were proving rather futile.

To her left, Astrid whimpered at the eerie sounds of the tie fighters' blasts, which hit their freighter over and over, causing the ship to rattle and quake. The power flickered on and off, escalating the suspense. Amidala reached over and grasped her sister's hand, wishing to instil calm in the five-year old, but none of them could deny the peril of their situation, which seemed to be worsening by the second.

The children weren't aware of holding their breaths until their mother suddenly shouted to them from down below, "What's the odometer reading now?"

"Uhhh," Han stammered, having taken his eyes off the meter when a particularly forceful blast sent the Falcon nearly spinning onto its side, "still slowing!"

From the control room, Rey uttered a curse word or two, but whatever she said was lost amidst more heavy firing from the enemy. "I'm going to have to reset the hyperdrive!" Rey hollered to them, which did little to ease their nerves. "Just hang tight! Han, hit the safety lights!"

An abrupt, powerful blast had triggered an alarm, and the Falcon was suddenly immersed in darkness. Han staggered to find the safety lights' switch and turned it on as instructed, but the ship was now slowing to a crawl.

" _You_!" he exclaimed to his sister in a panic, pointing determinedly at Amidala. "Go use one of the gunners!"

Amidala's mouth dropped open, aghast. "Are you _mad_?"

" _JUST DO IT_!"

Another vigorous hit from the tie fighters had them all fighting whiplash in their seats. Astrid began to sob and covered her face with her hands.

"All right, all right! _Fine_!" Amidala consented and, once the ship ceased shaking, she hurriedly unstrapped her seatbelt. With trepidation, she wobbled her way out of the cockpit and down a level into one of the cramped gunner stations, taking a seat in its accompanying chair. She glanced over the contraption nervously, skimming over its various buttons and features that she had no clue how to use, and fastened the headpiece to her head.

Han really _was_ off his rocker; she hadn't any idea how to use this ruddy thing. It would probably jam and not work anyhow. Her mother and father had never taught her, her brother, or Astrid how to properly shoot down a spacecraft. That had never seemed like a sensible thing to teach one's children, did it? In any case, there wasn't a chance she would be able to take out one tie fighter, let alone _three_.

 _'Trust your instincts, Ami,'_ a deep register unexpectedly spoke to her inside her head. Amidala's spine stiffened and her heart thumped quicker in her chest. _'Let them guide you. Feel it, don't think.'_

 _Dad?_ she desperately wanted to respond but then one of the tie fighters zoomed into view, thrashing her senses back to reality. She located the blast button, got herself into position, and began firing several rapid shots at the ship, which dipped to the right and spun out of sight, evading her clutches.

"Damn it!" she muttered in frustration.

"Keep going, Ami!" Ami whirled her head around just in time to spot her mother securing herself into the second gunner station on the opposite end of the Falcon. "Aim for their engines when they make to turn around!"

"They're too fast!" Ami called over her shoulder as another tie fighter flew to her left, just out of range. She fired a couple shots but he soon disappeared, his speed proving too advanced for her gunner to keep pace. She then heard Rey begin launching an attack as well, perceiving how her mother was relying on the surrounding Force to guide her.

Amidala eased up on the controls and closed her eyes. Renounced to do as her father had instructed, she opened her sight and ears to the Force's call, listening, trusting i his direction. It wasn't long before her sharp hearing picked up on an approaching tie fighter. Before it appeared in range, her gunner was in position and ready to fire. She felt the energy bend to her determination, encouraging the Padawan's quick-thinking reflexes, and she began shooting before the tie fighter fully materialised.

Within seconds, the spacecraft erupted into flames, the ship and its pilot evaporating into deep space. Amidala couldn't stop herself from cheering with glee. Rey joined in on her daughter's rousing elation momentarily, but then their quest to bring down the remaining two tie fighters resumed.

A minute later, Rey had successfully struck down their second target. The third and final tie fighter, however, kept eluding their grasp, and soon ceased fire and disappeared altogether. Neither Rey nor Amidala were convinced of its supposed vanishing act, however, and held tight to their controls.

"Han," Rey called up to her son, hoping the boy could locate the pilot on the Falcon's tracking system, "where's that blasted third tie fighter?"

No one answered. Rey spun around in her chair, as did Amidala, and mother and daughter's pale faces matched in their expression of dread. Sudden scuffling from Han and faint cries from Astrid echoed from upstairs. Rey leapt out of her seat in a flash, followed closely by Amidala, who chanced a passing glance out the window before joining her mother at the ladder. At least ten more tie fighters were suddenly surrounding the Falcon, waiting, not attacking. Her throat dropped into the pit of her stomach. This wasn't good.

Rey snatched her daughter's hand as one of the tie fighter commanders abruptly appeared at the top of the ladder, along with four other unknown, masked faces that resembled Stormtroopers. They each carried heavy weaponry in their hands, and Amidala surmised at once that any attempts at overrunning them would be unwise, especially without knowing where her brother and sister were.

 _'Ben,'_ she could sense her mother's frantic call to her father across the galaxy, _'they have us...'_

Amidala's heart sunk. They had been so close; so terribly close to leaving that dreadful Proclamation Star base behind. What would they do now? And what might her father face if the enemy uncovered that he had aided in their escape? Did they already know?

To make matters worse, no immediate answer from him came through. Amidala's grip on her mother's hand tightened as one of the enemy commanders ordered them none too kindly to ascend the ladder...or risk Han and Astrid being shot dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N #2 : More Reylo-centric moments and flashbacks are coming...if anyone wants 'em; but you'll still have lots of family moments, too.**
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> **Thanks to anyone who reviews...**


	5. Chapter 5

 

  
**Chapter 5**

_"But you, children of space, you restless in rest, you shall not be trapped nor tamed."_  
―Kahlil Gibran

**Present Day**

**(Deep Space)**

Rey ground her teeth together at the eyesore that was a newly botched hole in the ceiling of their beloved Millennium Falcon, thanks to one of the damnable Proclamation's aggressive transporters that had taken the family by surprise, storming their freighter at full speed. Before Rey or Amidala had been able to sense more of the enemy coming, the enormous, dense transporter had attached itself to the top of the faltering Falcon, blasted through its roof, and taken them captive.

Now, Rey and her eldest daughter found themselves being shoved against the wall and jostled by Stormtroopers searching for any hidden weaponry they might have in their possession. Unfortunately, their lightsabers were the first items stolen off their persons. The panic that swept across Amidala's eyes as she furiously glanced to her mother for counsel worsened Rey's own inner dread regarding their predicament. It seemed that there was little to do but wait for an opportune moment to get away, though the odds were highly stacked against them.

Sure, she and Amidala could fight without their lightsabers—Rey had little doubt her daughter would be of enormous help in taking out the ten to twelve Stormtroopers who had crammed themselves into the Falcon's main hall—but a surprise attack likely wouldn't get them far. As it was, they were quite outnumbered, their freighter was surrounded by more heavily-armed tie fighters outside, the Falcon's hyperdrive had failed them so outrunning the enemy would be utterly futile, and Han and Astrid were already aboard the transporter, secured within the Stormtroopers' grasps.

Rey heard Han hollering a number of insults at their captors for the poor state they had put their trusty ship in, whilst Astrid wept and repeatedly cried for her mother. " _I'm here, kids_!" Rey shouted to them as loudly as she could, earning her a sharp smack to the face by the leading Stormtrooper. Amidala startled at such brutality. When Rey's sight came back into focus, she could taste blood on her upper lip. Still, she made a point of staring the Stormtrooper down, making sure not to show any hint of fear, either to the enemy or for her children's sakes.

"Quiet, you traitorous scum!" the male voice snapped at her, though it did nothing to silence Rey's feisty resolve.

"It's _me_ your damn general wants!" She glanced imploringly from the head Stormtrooper to the head pilot wearing a midnight chrome helmet, who was obviously in charge of this operation. "Let my children go!"

"Not a chance," the head pilot scoffed. He nodded to the two sets of Stormtroopers who had Rey and Amidala firmly by the arms. "Put 'em on board." He then turned to the head Stormtrooper—the one responsible for clouting Rey—and commanded that he alert General Hux and Kylo Ren of the recapturing of their fugitives.

At the utterance of that second name—a name that, before only two days prior, had meant nothing but sheer disgust and loathing to Amidala—the girl's blood began pumping excitedly. She should have felt relief; reassurance that her father, in all his intimidating disguise work for the Resistance, might be able to pluck them out of this god-awful mess (albeit a second time), but, now, it only invoked terror in her. He hadn't answered her mother's telepathic message, so there was little knowing whether he was all right, trying to strategies a Plan B for them, or had already been found out by their foes.

 _'If they're alerting him to our capture, Ami, then that's good news for him_ and _for us,'_ she heard Rey speak collectedly inside her mind. _'Keep calm. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing your fear. We'll figure something out, I promise.'_

Amidala turned to her mother as the pair of them were roughly hustled onto the transporter. Somehow, she wasn't convinced that all would turn out all right. Her father might be in the midst of being informed that his confidential loved ones were headed back to Proclamation's Star Base, but what then? They had already tried to escape once, and the penalties for doing so were likely to be more volatile than the first round had been. The mere thought of being trapped in the confined, stale holding cell she had been encased in for nearly two days was enough to make Amidala's skin crawl. Their chances of pulling off another remarkable break, too, were probably slim to none.

 _'Stop it, Ami,'_ Rey commanded; the urgency and apprehension in her mother's voice wasn't lost on the young Padawan. _'You_ mustn't _resort to this manner of thinking. Don't.'_

Amidala stilled her thoughts as the transporter began its eerily quiet, rocky route back to its base, but seeing her smaller brother and sister being cuffed in front of her, with blaster rifles aimed squarely at the back of their innocent heads, made quieting her nerves damn near impossible.

 _'Please,'_ she found herself praying, pleading, to her father as the pilot reported the family's status to their Star Base, _'help us!'_

 

*** * * * * ***

_"This is hardly sensible!"_

_"Quiet, my young Apprentice—"_

_"You can't honestly think that luring Kylo Ren here is a bright idea?" Master Luke turned to his exasperated Padawan learner and offered her one of his long, pensive stares that did little to provide her a clearer answer. Rather, it was the sort of vacant expression that had regularly made Rey want to rip her hair out ever since she had first come to this remote island so many months ago to train with the experienced, elusive Jedi. "He'll surely kill you; or, at the very least, take you hostage! The whole galaxy is looking for you, you know, including the First Order!"_

_"I don't think that will happen."_

_Rey detested the typical vagueness in that response. Her accompanying expression informed the old man as much, too, though Master Luke was now gazing off towards the sea rather than at her. "What makes you so sure?" she demanded and crossed her arms over her chest._

_Master Luke's conveyance was still aggravatingly abstract when those wise blue eyes fell back on her. "Because if Ben truly wanted to find me, he'd have done so already. His guilt and regret has kept him away. He's as much afraid of me now as he claims to be so insistent on finding me."_

'Afraid'? 'Guilt'?' _Rey stared on, utterly bewildered. "Your nephew had no trouble killing his own father. I doubt he feels any shred of culpability for your sake. The Padawan learner you taught all those years ago? That man's dead, I'm telling you."_

_Master Luke's stance was firm, however, for he didn't so much as flinch at Rey's harsh words. "We shall see," he whispered, turned away from her once more, and proceeded to meditate, though whatever about was blocked out to Rey._

_With an aggravated roll of her eyes, Rey glowered and stalked off, giving her master whatever space he desired. He was infuriating, Master Luke. It made no sense to her whatsoever why he should send Kylo Ren a telepathic message and tell that crazed man his whereabouts. Did her master have a death wish? Did he want to send his young apprentice over the edge and bait her into another fight with the evil cad? Because_ that _'s where things were headed if Kylo Ren showed up. Rey wasn't about to let him step foot onto this island without a fight._

 _Then again, the last person in the entire galaxy Rey wished to ever encounter again was Kylo Ren. The mere thought of him left her seeing murderous, blood-thirsty red. If he_ did _come, Rey wasn't so certain she wouldn't make good on her utmost desire to avenge Han Solo and kill the wretched son of a bitch._

 _If Master Luke truly wanted his Padawan learner to reel in her hatred for Kylo Ren and for Kylo Ren alone, which, otherwise, was a most certain path to the Dark Side should she allow these ill feelings to keep gnawing at her soul, then he was failing dismally._ Meditate _, her conscience pressed._ Clear your mind. Thinking of stabbing your lightsaber through Kylo Ren's chest won't absolve you of your grief. Remember what Master Luke said...

_That's what the rational part of her brain was advising, anyhow. The stirring quench for vengeance was far louder, though._

 

*** * ***

_Less than twenty-four hours later, it was an absolute shock to Rey to discover Kylo Ren's command shuttle touching down at the farthest, most upper part of the island. Rey's blood ran cold at spotting the familiar black ship breaking through the clouds and descending towards them, like a hunter about to claim its doomed prey._

_Master Luke was already ahead of Rey, hiking his way up to the top of the hill with his walking stick in tow, as though he was marching towards certain death. Rey struggled to keep up as her legs had suddenly turned wobbly and unstable, working against her with every forward step._

_"Be mindful," Master Luke spoke to her over his shoulder, not turning back once. "The Darkness he carries with him is remarkably strong; much heavier than I'd hoped."_

_'What did you expect to encounter?' Rey wanted to exclaim and bit her bottom lip to keep from shouting._

_"I'd thought the shame and grief might cushion him a little," Master Luke acknowledged in a soft, heartsick manner; those fragile words drifted away on the wind, leaving Rey afflicted. She couldn't respond to that. She had warned the old man numerous times that his nephew was no longer the eager, goodhearted little boy he had told her about shortly after her training began. From what little information she had coaxed out of him, Ben Solo was a stark contrast to the monster he had fashioned himself into._

_Besides, he had wound up murdering his own father. Rey had witnessed it with her own eyes. Wasn't that enough validation that the man's soul was blackened and rotted for good?_

_Master Luke had had the same mind-boggling response that General Organa had afterwards, however, much to Rey's astonishment: 'There's still Light in him. The goodness is there, desperate to return. I felt it. He just needs help.'_

_Well, if_ that _was really the ruddy case, why couldn't_ she _sense it, too? Master Luke had told Rey that her hatred was blocking her from the truth, but she thought that a bunch of codswallop. Kylo Ren was the epitome of evil; of Darkness; of everything that was wrong with the world, and Master Luke would gauge that for himself soon enough._

_Rey hastened her pace as they approached the top of the hill, both she and her master somewhat breathless from the steep climb. Unsurprisingly, Kylo Ren was waiting for them, and the haunting sight of that towering, dark figure, in his imposing black robes and inhuman mask, made Rey halt dead in her tracks, and Master Luke as well._

_"Luke Skywalker," said that deep, unfeeling voice, breaking the eerie silence that hung heavily in the air. "At last. I've been anticipating this moment."_

_Master Luke's subsequent response was remarkably coy, "Have you?"_

_"Indeed." Kylo cocked his head, robes sweeping alongside the fierce, seaside wind, and Rey knew he was assessing her person. Had he expected her to be here? Had he not? "The girl who would be your new apprentice, I presume?"_

_Master Luke gave Rey a quiet look over, one that she returned. Then they both stared back at Kylo, resolved._

_Kylo stepped away from the ramp to his ship and approached them, striding cautiously, purposely slow. There appeared to be no one else with him, which Rey immediately thought peculiar._

_"You are alone," Master Luke spoke for the pair of them, as if reading her mind._

_"Yes."_

_"Why? Didn't bring any of your goons with you?" Rey was unable to bite back her tongue._

_Kylo provided her no answer, though Rey could feel the Darkness radiating off of him like a heinous virus, even from such a distance as the length that the top of this hill afforded them. She squared her shoulders, her fingers tingling to reach for the lightsaber stowed in the leather pouch attached to her belt. She quietly noted that Master Luke showed no indications of reaching for his to protect himself._

_"You haven't been able to help your apprentice curb her anger and animosity," Kylo appraised, giving a cocksure snort. "Perhaps there's hope for her yet. The Supreme Leader will be pleased to hear this development."_

_The fire within Rey was set aflame by such a notion. "I'll join that demented leader you worship when we're both good and dead!" she snarled, clenching her hands into fists at her sides._

_"We shall see."_

_Rey could sense the vile smirk in that reply, as well as the unnerving one plastered on the handsome face that lurked behind the mask—a combination that both hypnotised and abhorred her—and the rage within Rey seethed. She wrestled internally to tone down her emotions as Master Luke stepped forward._

_"Ben—"_

_"I no longer answer to that name." There was a prickling to his tone now, a slight alteration that Rey instantly picked up on. She was glad she apparently wasn't the only one so easily goaded._

_"I will address you by no other name than the one of your birth; the name your family gave you."_

_At once, Kylo's Darkness surged but the Jedi and his apprentice expanded their Light to meet its antithesis, ready, awaiting his next move. His fiery red lightsaber emerged from inside his cloak and spluttered to life. Rey stiffened. He was too far away from Master Luke to make a proper swing yet, but the unveiling of his deadly weapon still hadn't prompted the experienced Jedi to reach for his own._

_"I have no family," Kylo growled. His grip on his lightsaber tightened, his fury spurring it to crackle and pop with ferocious intensity._

_As far as Rey was concerned, Master Luke had expended enough stock at the hands of Fate. He had tempted Kylo Ren, an utter madman, to his long-standing hideout and was now attempting to approach him unarmed. Either he truly did have a death wish or was as deranged as Rey had feared. Her astute judgement told her that this showdown wasn't going to end well._

_"Yes, you do," Master Luke insisted, speaking with such patience, even understanding, that Rey was left dumbfounded and numbed to the quick. "You cannot deny the truth of who you are, Ben; of what you are. You are a Solo—"_

_"_ Stop it _!" Kylo snapped, and Rey startled at his outburst._

_Master Luke didn't desist, however. He took several defining steps closer, speaking in a calm voice, "You're the fiercely loved son of Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa. You are my beloved nephew and I, your uncle, Luke Skywalker."_

_"_ Enough, you _—"_

_"You were a Jedi once." Master Luke refused to put his guard up, prompting Rey to carefully approach from behind. If the old man insisted on getting himself hurt—or, worse, killed—she would at least be close enough to try and stop it. "And you would have become a great one had I not instilled you with more confidence; if your father had tried to better understand you; if your mother had told me of the torments you suffered at night..._

_"We could have done so much more for you, Ben. You held so much promise...and we failed you; all of us. You hold such promise yet."_

_Kylo jolted, and Rey reached for her lightsaber. "_ You're a damn fool! Your words are poison! _"_

_"A fool I may be, yes, but I can sense the good in you, Ben; the conflict between the Dark and the Light. You needn't continue to suffer so needlessly."_

_Although obviously agitated, Kylo seemed torn between running his uncle through now that the Jedi was close enough to engage in a duel or allowing this emotionally-charged spar to carry on a while longer; to hear what the old man had to say. Rey hesitated to unleash her weapon, confounded by Kylo's sudden reluctance; or was he merely biding his time and waiting for the opportune moment to strike, perhaps when she least expected it?_

Yes... That must be it. Be ready, Rey.

 _"You're wrong about me!" Kylo jeered, pointing his lightsaber at his defenceless uncle. "You always_ were _wrong about me! You never understood! And you couldn't possibly understand now!"_

 _Master Luke stared at Kylo Ren for a long, measured moment, no doubt stricken by the unrecognisable horror and degradation his nephew had become. His words were wistful when he finally replied, "But I do, Ben. I_ do _understand. You feel it, don't you? The pull to the Light." Kylo went still as stone, not so much as daring to breathe, from what Rey could tell. "Even now, it's not too late. Accept the Light, Ben. You can turn this all around; it's within your power. You can finally be rid of this pain you carry. Please... Just let it in—"_

 _"_ ENOUGH _!"_

_That ruthless, guttural cry was the final straw. The hairs on the back of Rey's neck instantly stood on end and her hand made to curl around her lightsaber. Seeing the flash of red flame that suddenly rippled through the air, she pounced forward in front of Master Luke, her weapon striking Kylo Ren's in the nick of time and preventing his lightsaber from running the Jedi through._

_It stunned Rey that Master Luke hadn't so much as attempted to get out of harm's way. She saw Kylo raise his arm to strike, as if in slow motion, but her master, in turn, had done surprisingly nothing. He stood precisely where he was, as though paralysed by what was coming his way, and stared, downtrodden, at the lifeless mask of Kylo Ren, grasping for some glimmer of his nephew's old self beyond the veil he wore._

_As Rey could have told her master a dozen times over and it probably wouldn't have had any impact, there was nothing there; no lingering shadows of the man's former self. There could be no good in Kylo Ren, and she was about to prove it to Master Luke tenfold._

_Having taken Kylo by surprise, Rey was able to successfully swing her lightsaber again and send him stumbling back a step or two. She half expected Master Luke to leap to her aid but was too caught up in her own chagrin to take note of the sore fact that he wasn't doing a damned thing to help. She swung again and again, knocking roughly against Kylo's lightsaber whilst dodging his equally violent strokes. One such swing nearly grazed her cheek and, instead of turning fickle under such pressures, Rey twirled about and shot Kylo's lightsaber a tremendous blow—one that left him struggling to keep his balance._

_Vibrant shades of red and blue combusted, sending mad sparks flying every which direction. Rey's arms trembled as she fought Kylo's superior weight and strength. The flaming cross in his lightsaber inched towards her, shaving a bit of fabric—and skin—clear off her right shoulder. She screamed but tried to summon the pain inward, hell-bent on using it against Kylo as much as her petite body and energy would exhaust._

_A vigorous shove caught Kylo unprepared. He swayed and tried to right his feet, just sparing his himself what would have resulted in an amputated arm had he not raised his lightsaber in time._

_Rey's lightsaber collided with Kylo's again, Darkness and Light wrestling for dominance, both physically and Forcefully. Rey could feel her strength depleting rather quickly, though. The fuming hatred she had unleashed in her short battle with Kylo was rapidly to take its toll, something she hadn't experienced last time they duelled, and its release was not only draining her Light but stealing what physical strength she had. Her own anger frightened her enough that she worked relentlessly to recede it, and as fast as possible._

_The Darkness—and Kylo—clinched the Padawan's fears at once and played them to their advantage. When Rey's energy waned for but a moment, Kylo struck hard, knowing she wouldn't see it coming. He swung his much longer arm in a circle, spinning Rey's lightsaber right out of her hand, and the impact was such that her feet flew out from underneath her. She landed on her back, colliding with the ground and igniting a flaring pain in her lower spine that momentarily blurred her vision._

_Suddenly, Rey realised that she couldn't move, and not of her own accord. Kylo was using the Force to keep her immobile. She felt betrayed by her own body; her back was throbbing, her Light was diminishing, and, no matter how hard she battled against his might, he maintained the upper hand. All she could see above her was a black face—the callous mask of a cold-hearted killer—who's lightsaber was waving with the intent to crucify._

_'HELP!' she wanted to bellow but her throat had gone dry._

_Then something unexpected happened. Kylo paused mid-swing, and not from her combating energy or even Master Luke's, which apparently was non-existent. The resistance was entirely of his own volition. He was peering down at Rey, though, of course, she couldn't see his eyes; but the mask was staring, nonetheless, the breathing coming from beneath its hold ragged and spent._

_Was he stalling? Did he want to draw out her impending demise in order to terrorise her some more before the end?_ No... _Even Rey, petrified and unable to move, sensed that there was something else at play; something that had nothing to do with the Darkness. He was confounded, dithering between the decision to finish her off here and now or to let her go. Rey wasn't sure what frightened her more in this moment: that Kylo Ren was actually considering letting her live or that these might be her last seconds._

_Finally, Kylo lowered his fighting arm and the blaze of his red lightsaber extinguished. He slowly stepped back, and his free hand curled into a ball at his side. His entire body was quaking and, still, he wouldn't move to strike her again._

_Rey warily raised herself onto her elbows, flinching at the shooting pangs in her lower back. She waited with baited breath, uncertain and afraid, wondering if the maniac would allow her to rise, perhaps even let her retrieve her lightsaber; or if this was all a twisted game on his part._

_All of sudden, Master Luke was hauling Rey to her feet, pulling her up by the pits of her arms. She stumbled and tried to maintain her footing, not taking her eyes off of Kylo Ren the whole time; of that emotionless mask. He remained rooted to the ground, panting but otherwise static._

_"You've both taken your first steps," Rey heard Master Luke address them, hardly believing her ears. He fully turned from her to his nephew, and Rey caught tears in his eyes. "Ben, I... I knew you could do it."_

_Kylo Ren said nothing._

 

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Deep Space)**

"Kylo," the soft voice drawled to its kneeling servant, its tone dripping with malice and discontent, "my ever foolish Apprentice, you disappoint me."

Kylo bowed his head lower to the ground. His shoulders inadvertently tensed in anticipation of what he knew was coming: punishment. "I'm sorry, my Lord," he issued ever so quietly, keeping his mask directed at the dark, hollow floor, his tone level.

"Apologies are about all you and Hux can ever offer me, aren't they?" Kylo knew better than to provide his master's question with an answer; it would only serve to provoke Snoke's anger and land him, the 'foolish' apprentice, in more trouble than he already was. "You let the girl escape!" Snoke proceeded to snarl, his voice suddenly flaring with intensity. "And her offspring, too!"

"I wasn't made aware of their escape until after the fact, my Lord. Had I but known—"

"The girl would _still_ likely have evaded you! It's a pattern of late that baffles me! _Why is that_?"

Kylo gave a slow, steady shake of his head. The blood was rushing to his ears and his heart was thumping furiously in his chest, but he kept the panic restrained, tucking it away in a hypothetical drawer so that his body might not cave in on itself. He hadn't gotten this far in deceiving his long-term master, turned-greatest adversary by letting his emotional instincts get the better of him, particularly when the Supreme Leader was so close and able to sense every thought and emotion that crossed his path.

"She doesn't evade me, my Lord." At the edgy pause that ensued, Kylo chanced a peek up at the phantom-like, pallid ruler, who was eyeing him incredulously from atop his high chair. "She's been...fortunate thus far, but—"

"'Fortunate'?" Snoke murmured, the threat in that cold, low response as unshakable as his motives.

Kylo stiffened. "We shall have her soon, my Master, I can assure you—"

" _Enough_."

A stabbing pain flared at the back of Kylo's head, sending his solid upper body staggering forward onto hands and knees. He struggled to regain control of the simmering, underlying panic that wanted to explode, thereby giving Snoke his crooked satisfaction of conjuring pain. His gloved hands clawed helplessly at the cement, desperate to dig into something that might mitigate some of the agony.

 _Oh, but the pain..._ It was acute, as if his mind was being meticulously split wide open. It took every ounce of Kylo's threadbare will not to scream. In a frenzy, he resorted to meditation; to reach that far off place in the recesses of his mind where he might dodge the worst of the torment. _Yes..._ A lush green island on a far off shore that had been his first home away from everything he knew, where he hoped to prove himself the awe-inspiring warrior that had been whispered and promised to him ever since he was a small boy. It may have been a far-stretch, seeing as the voice who had accompanied him all those years ago had possessed such such ill intent, and yet, the island... _The island_. If he could reach that sacred place, he might shield himself from Snoke's wrath.

"You cannot hide from me," Snoke gave a calculated laugh that was uncomfortably gentle; it made his apprentice nearly wretch. Nearly. " _I see you, Kylo Ren_. You are _mine_." The pain enhanced and Kylo's seemingly indestructible body was resigned to uncontrollable fits of seizing. "And the girl... The girl and her offspring shall also be _mine_. You will see that it's done, my Apprentice. Do not fail me again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : Thank you to those who review...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : Hello to my couple of faithful readers, if you're still out there! *waves***
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> **Firstly, I have two exciting pieces of artwork for this fic I want to share with you! I recently commissioned a piece from the insanely talented elithien on Tumblr, and she not only fulfilled my request but gifted me with a bonus artwork as well! She is divine and, if you love this pairing, you ought to be following her anyhow. To view the artwork, be sure to head over to her [Tumblr account](http://elithien.tumblr.com/post/139969548551/reylo-family-commission-for-the-fan-fiction-seeds). They're absolutely stunning, and she captured not only Ben/Kylo and Rey perfectly but my beautiful OCs as well! :')**
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> **Secondly, I don't want this story to lag for two more months before I update again, and I'd like to think any readers out there who are actually enjoying this story don't want such a long wait either, so, if you're following this fic, _please_ offer up a little something in that Review Box to keep me going... Just to know I have interested readers is such an encouragement...**

 

  
**Chapter 6**

_"Love is written in our instincts, yet erased by our actions."_  
―Gayle D. Erwin

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

"Gehr'off me!"

" _Easy, would you_?" Rey exclaimed to the two Stormtroopers who were so viciously mistreating Han right in front of her eyes.

The Solo family had made their unfortunate return to Proclamation's Star base and were just exiting the enemy's transporter when the children began their unsuccessful attempts at warding off their not-so-kind captors. Despite Rey's pleas to them to desist, and with repeated exasperated messages transmitted to the children in their minds, Han and Astrid were too wound up—too terrified, rather—to obey to their mother's advice. They kicked and pushed back against the merciless hands that bound them, Han throwing insult after insult and Astrid screaming in fear as they were led through the main hanger.

It didn't take long to put a fiendish stop to the younglings' combativeness, however. One of the two Stormtroopers shoving Han forcefully along a corridor suddenly turned on the boy and grasped him tightly by the throat, hoisting him off the ground and into the air. Han's berating was immediately censored. The female Stormtrooper's hand coiled so firmly around his neck that Rey feared she might snap it right in half.

"Stop! STOP IT! _PLEASE_!" Rey begged, bringing her gait to a crawl. Her wide eyes frantically veered to another Stormtrooper marching in front of her who was now hoisting Astrid against his hip, carrying her much like a duffle bag. The petrified five-year old had ceased putting up a fight herself after another accompanying Stormtrooper jabbed the little girl squarely in the ribs with his blaster rifle, leaving her bent over, nursing her side, and gasping for breath. Amidala had gone into a heated diatribe over her little sister's maltreatment after that, spitting her own series of threats at the enemy that apparently weren't lessening their cruelty, whilst Rey tried to reason with everyone.

" _Quit manhandling my children_!" she demanded of them. "Can't you see, she's frightened? What has she ever done to you? AND PUT MY SON DOWN THIS INSTANT BEFORE YOU KILL HIM!"

 _That_ , at the very least, drew the Stormtrooper strangling Han out of her homicidal stupor. In an abrupt haste, she brought the boy's dangling feet back to the ground, pointed her blaster rifle at his head, and, when he wouldn't move forward straight away, she gave him a decisive push.

Rey breathed a sigh of relief, however, grateful that the Stormtrooper had come to her senses. Once more, she quietly urged each of the children in their minds to stay calm, cooperative, and alert. She was most desperate to transmit another telepathic message to Ben, but it would have been far too dangerous a risk. Her shrewd eyes kept searching for him, though—for any sign of that steely, unflinching mask of his that, many years ago, would have been anything _but_ whom she wished to stumble upon—but there was no glimpse of her husband anywhere.

 _Please_ , she begged, making sure not to utter his name in such a compromising place as this, _help us... We're here..._

The Stormtroopers fiercely continued thrusting the family around corner after corner, corridor after seemingly endless steel corridor, for several more nerve-wracking minutes until they came upon an empty elevator. The Stormtroopers not in possession of any of the hostages cleared a path for their comrades who did, and they shuffled them onto the lift with barely room to spare. The doors noiselessly closed behind them and the elevator rumbled to life, ascending several flights up.

 _'Mum, where are we going?'_ Amidala spoke to Rey in her mind, sounding agitated and nervous.

_'I'm not sure. To see General Hux, I would imagine...'_

_'What for? What does he want with us?'_

_'I'm not sure of that either,'_ Rey lied, keeping a sharp eye on Han and Astrid in front of her, both of whom were (thankfully) not offering up another baiting word to their foes.

 _'Where is Da—he?'_ her daughter started and quickly corrected herself.

_'I don't know, Ami. Stay calm. We'll know more soon enough.'_

_'Shouldn't we try to reach out to him again?'_

_'Not here.'_

The elevator doors burst open, bringing mother's and daughter's conversation to a standstill. They were hurriedly hustled off the lift into what Rey ascertained to be the ship's navigational control area. The place, dark and forbidding, was flooded with Proclamation personnel, and the only two amongst them who even spared a glance in the family's direction was a beefy-looking redheaded officer hovering over a curious operator a few feet away. The general terminated their conversation, straightened at once, and gave Rey a particularly menacing sneer that left her holding her breath. She knew who this vile man was, of course, though they had never properly met until two days ago. His disdain for their kind—the 'loathsome Resistance' as he called them—made him a considerably unforgettable fellow from both the previous war and the one now brewing.

"Well, well, well," he murmured as he fast approached the Solos, the sickening smile lining his thin lips spreading across his pale countenance.

"Sir," addressed the head Stormtrooper, who issued a firm raise of his arm in salute to General Hux, "we've recaptured the family as ordered." He and another Stormtrooper shoved Rey to the front of the line, and she purposely put up no resistance. "This is the mother who claims—"

"I know who she is, Captain." The head Stormtrooper lowered his helmet in shame, whilst General Hux took a long moment to appraise Rey fully, scanning her up and down with contemptible flair before moving onto her children. When his frigid eyes fell back on Rey again, she noted that they were devoid of what too often never accompanied members of the Proclamation: compassion. "So...the 'girl' the Supreme Leader has been searching for."

" _What_?" Amidala blurted out before Rey could so much as move her lips.

"Silence, you little scum!" the head Stormtrooper snarled at Amidala, placing the hood of his blaster rifle under the girl's chin. "You are not being addressed by his Leadership!"

Rey tried to turn her head but was aggressively prodded by another Stormtrooper to keep herself facing forward. She detected minor scuffling from behind, though, as well as some harsh kicking that had Amidala groaning before going silent. Astrid whimpered softly at Rey's side whilst Han made an audible gasp, leaving the Jedi mother to only imagine how badly her daughter had just been jostled about.

"Please," she beseeched General Hux, sensing her pleas would likely go unassuaged, "don't hurt my children. They've done nothing for which you should treat them so poorly."

"Considering their assistance in aiding your escape—"

"I'm their _mother_ ," Rey hissed and clenched her teeth. "Of course I wasn't about to leave without my children—"

"Yes, yes," General Hux chuckled unnervingly, taking a pause to toy with his leather gloves before his chilling stare drew back to her, "well, I'm afraid, _Girl_ , we will offer no favours to the likes of you and yours. We won't tolerate any more shenanigans either; not from you or your... _precious offspring_." He completed that ominous remark with his nose turned up and his lips pursed together, as though mere mention of Rey's 'offspring' left an unpleasant taste in his mouth.

"My family—" Rey tried again, keeping her voice steady, but the speed with which General Hux so easily lost his cool brought her severely up short.

" _SHUT UP_!" He huffed heavily through flared nostrils and bore his teeth; his face turned a shade that was nearly as red as his hair. "You're finished, do you hear? _Finished_! We've searched the farthest corners of the galaxy looking for you, you idiot girl, and we'll tolerate no further nonsense! You'll be brought to the Supreme Leader as commanded, and I'll hear nothing more about your wretched pleas! _Captain_!"

The head Stormtrooper startled but quickly recovered. "Sir?"

"See that the girl and her offspring are locked in Sector 12 and that _they stay there_!" Before the Stormtrooper could make a move, however, he added with ominous promise, "Your life will be forfeited if anything should go wrong this time, I can assure you. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," the Stormtrooper replied, though the trepidation in his voice wasn't lost on any of the Solos. He clutched onto Rey's arm and started to drag her away, ordering the others under his command to do the same with the children, when another voice, far deeper and more commanding than the general's, suddenly rang out, halting everyone in their tracks.

"Just a moment." _That_ sent Rey and the children's heads spinning in the male voice's direction. As they fought to turn around, they spotted Kylo Ren emerging off of the same lift. He paused as he stepped from the elevator, surveying them—his family—in silence with that same unwelcoming air that General Hux carried, only his mask camouflaged any hint of expression. He stalked forward to stand side-by-side with the general, who appeared entirely unravelled by Kylo's unexpected presence. "I require a report."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Ren—"

"Why was I not informed that the girl and the offspring had been recaptured?"

" _Because there wasn't time, damn it_!" General Hux countered in the form of a growl. He puffed out his chest, making him—to Rey—more ridiculous looking as he tried to stand his ground before the far more towering (and threatening) Knights of Ren commander.

"It would seem the Supreme Leader had enough time to inform me of this chain of events whereas _you_ 've failed. He sent me back here straight away to confirm the information for myself." General Hux's fury deflated like a struck down tie fighter at that, his red beet complexion diminishing to an almost sickening grey. "You wouldn't be trying to take matters into your own hands now, would you, General?"

" _Of course not_!" he hissed at Kylo, glaring on, affronted. "I told you, there wasn't time to send word! Not all of us can use the blasted Force to communicate around here!"

"Most unfortunate...for _you_." Kylo stretched the tense pause that followed, seeming to take substantial delight in the general's growing uneasiness, before stating, his voice low, yet baleful, "For your sake, General, I suggest you start falling in line. We can afford no further hiccups. The Supreme Leader is most displeased as it is." General Hux went decidedly mute, though his eyes were swarming with unmitigated animosity for his colleague. Unaffected, Kylo turned away to assess Rey and the children. "Where are you taking them?" he inquired, to which the head Stormtrooper awkwardly spoke up when General Hux proved unforthcoming.

"Sector 12, sir."

"No. Sector 12 is all too familiar to them now. We wouldn't want another escape on our hands, would we? Take them to Sector 15."

Rey and the children caught the indignation that flashed across General Hux's disgruntled face, but he didn't contend with Kylo in changing their prison cell location. Instead, he bound his lips securely together.

"Yes, sir. Come along, you scum!"

Rey and the children found themselves being forcefully taken from Kylo Ren's presence. Astrid started to cry out to him, much to the others' abrupt panic and concern, but a wild startle in the Force left the youth stunned and shutting down, as if an invisible door had been slammed in her face. Rey detested seeing the mixture of hurt and confusion that broke out on poor Astrid's face, but she sensed that Ben despised it—and himself—even more for having to do so to keep his cover in check. Astrid's lower lip quivered but she went quiet, lowering her watery gaze to the floor.

 _'It's all right, sweetheart,'_ Rey urged the girl soothingly in her mind. _'It's going to be all right. But not here, Astrid. Not. Here.'_

Rey and Ben locked eyes on one another for a short, desperate moment, though, to them, it felt closer to an angst-ridden eternity. Then the head Stormtrooper clasping Rey's arms whirled her around and shoved her, along with the children, back onto the lift, breaking the secret couple's contact. Rey eyed her husband over her shoulder and caught a parting glance of his off-putting, sable form just as the elevator doors shut. Although she couldn't read the expression he wore behind that grim mask, his subtle, rigid body language that no one else detected but her spoke for itself: he was petrified.

 

*** * * * * ***

_Kylo Ren hadn't emitted a word in hours. Had it been multiple hours or closer to one? Rey had lost track by now; not hard to do when you're sharing a confined space with a known coldblooded killer. He hadn't so much as removed that damned mask of his either, which only perpetuated her unsettledness about the whole situation._

_In fact, Kylo Ren hadn't stopped her from recollecting her lightsaber up on the hill where they had duelled nor did he attempt any sudden violent moves to overrun Master Luke or herself a second time. To Rey's utter shock—and growing befuddlement—he had slowly, cautiously, and quite simply followed her and Master Luke down the steep hill that led to the hut where Master and Jedi apprentice resided, not conveying anything to either of them or putting up any sort of resistance in the process. He had gone willingly; or so it appeared._

_Rey made sure to keep a lengthy distance between herself and their cloaked, twisted company, however, refusing to turn her back for so much as a second should Kylo Ren choose to strike. She wouldn't put it past him, after all, even if Master Luke was evidently willing to put his trust in his deranged nephew after nearly being struck down by the loon mere minutes before._

_What the hell was happening? How had they arrived at the present moment? Had the one-time scavenger stepped through a void and finally entered the realm of Insanity? 'Beats me,' she soon gave up contemplating._

_Why had Kylo Ren not finished her off up on the hill earlier that evening? Why would he let her live? More to the point, why in the name of Jakku was Master Luke being so trusting of his maniac nephew after just having watched the grown man and his apprentice duke it out for their lives? Rey had prevented Kylo Ren from killing Master Luke, after all, and now her trainer had casually invited the psychopath into their home as though nothing earth-shattering had transpired._

_'Insanity!' she concluded, scuffing her boots on the dirt floor as they entered the hut together._

_Now, she was meticulously chewing her food and staring Kylo Ren down from across the small wooden table that divided them. Master Luke sat at the opposite end, in between them, with his legs crossed and seemingly perfectly at ease. Kylo Ren hadn't touched the platter of food his uncle offered him. In fact, all he had done since entering their home was to stare on at both of them without speaking; ogling without visibly drawing breath. Whatever he was thinking or conspiring over, his mind was—unsurprisingly—closed off to Rey and Master Luke. The Darkness radiating off of him had markedly reduced, too, but it most certainly was still floating about, tapping at the ridges of Rey's mind and putting her more and more on edge as the minutes crawled by._

_Rey was ready for any sudden moves. Her trusty lightsaber remained nestled at her side, apt to be drawn should Kylo Ren decide to go in for another kill. And a kill Rey was certain of, even if her own master wasn't. Kylo Ren knew of nothing else but to take, take, and take._

_'Bastard.'_

_"Will you not drink something, Ben?" Master Luke prodded, disrupting the uncomfortable silence that had become the atmosphere inside their toasty hut. The soft crackling of a nearby fire was the only reply. Kylo Ren gave a slight turned of his head, and Master Luke pressed him again. "Surely, if not hungry, you must be thirsty for something by now?"_

_Again, there was no response. That dome-like mask turned to Rey once more, and she felt the presence of the Force draw near, debauched and ill-intended, prickling at her senses. Her smart eyes narrowed as she swallowed the last remnants of her food before she hissed, "You won't get inside my head." She shot him a bitter, cocksure smile as well. "Not this time. Not ever again."_

_Master Luke let forth a small noise but Kylo didn't offer his own retort. Rey gave up their staring contest with a roll of her eyes. She scooted onto her knees, intending to clear hers and Master Luke's plates from the table, when, to both of their amazements, Kylo finally addressed them._

_"You think I consider that a misfortune of some kind?"_

_Rey stilled at once, feeling the heat in her cheeks rising. "I think you'd consider not being able to torture someone a most terrible misfortune, yes."_

_Kylo tilted his head and, after a pause, posed an unexpected question to her, "You presume I enjoy it?"_

_"Oh, yes," Rey didn't hesitate to fire back. She knew she ought to placate the emotional uprising this Knight of Ren was feeding her but, at the moment, she was too spent to dispatch the energy needed to do so._

_"You really think people to be so one-noted?"_

_"Not people, just you."_

_"You seem to have given me a lot of thought."_

_Rey shrugged. "I don't give you much thought at all, to be honest."_

_There was the suggestion of a smirk to Kylo's tone when he responded, his rich voice oozing with disdain, "That feeling's mutual."_

_"Good."_

_Now boiling with rage, Rey scurried to her feet and stomped out of sight, throwing back the threadbare curtain that led into a tightly compacted kitchenette, though it hardly functioned as such. She deposited hers and Master Luke's plates into a bucket, and the grubby water splashed her pants. 'That wretched, vile, odious, no good monster!' she cursed internally. She grasped the ledge of a table with both hands to still her ragged breathing, closing her eyes and listening to the calming will of the Light. 'Oh, for goodness' sake!' It was useless to meditate with Kylo's negative energy hovering so close by. She would have to leave the premises in order to reground herself, and yet, chancing leaving Master Luke alone with this unhinged creature was most definitely out of the question._

_Resigned, though thoroughly disappointed, Rey returned to the sitting area, where Master Luke and Kylo still resided, not conversing with each other but seated on the floor in their same positions. Kylo's head turned upward towards Rey as she re-entered the room, but she averted his uneasy gaze. Merely glancing at the man was enough to send her emotions into a tizzy, so she exercised caution as she resumed her spot on the floor across from him. She stared determinedly at the various grooves and grains in the wood, listening and connecting to the energy around them, feeling its dramatic fluctuations._

_She had noted earlier how the Force never felt as restless as it did with Kylo Ren hanging around. His energy was stormy, torn, agitated; it seemed divided between accepting the Light that otherwise occupied this cosy space or asserting his Darkness further. Perhaps he was merely testing the wavelengths..._

_'Biding his time, more like,' Rey surmised as she bit her inner cheek._

_"Well, if you won't eat or drink anything, you must surely be in need of rest?" Master Luke piped up after a couple more uninterrupted minutes of awkward silence. Rey peered across the table but found Kylo's attention diverted towards his uncle now. "I'll make up the spare bed for you. Come."_

_With some difficulty, Master Luke shifted out of his cross-legged position and, leaning on the aid of his walking stick, rose to his full height. Rey flinched when Kylo suddenly stirred as well. Her hand grabbed her lightsaber, prompting Kylo, who saw the Padawan learner start and reach for her weapon, halt on one bent knee. He stared hard at this strange, fascinating young woman who was coming into her own, and only beginning to test her powers, though she, in turn, couldn't ascertain whatever facial expression lay beyond the fallen Jedi's façade. He gradually stood, which Rey allowed, and it was then that she realised that he hadn't drawn his own weapon to defend himself. Her fingers loosened their grip around her lightsaber, but she wasn't foolish enough to let go of it completely._

_Gracing her with one last lingering stare, Kylo retreated from her presence, following Master Luke as he pulled back a curtain on the opposite end of the room and headed to the back of the hut. Rey released a groan and rubbed at her forehead. This evening had sparked a turn of events that were more than Rey had ever bargained for. Not only would Kylo Ren be staying the night, but there was no telling what might develop from here._

_'Great! Could things possibly get worse?' Rey's conscience came down hard on her own rhetorical question. 'Of course they can get worse, Rey, and, if that be the case, Kylo Ren will most definitely have everything to do with it!'_

 

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Ben marched down the stairs, trying not to hurry or appear as if he had any covert reason to rush. That sort of behaviour would only raise suspicion from those around him, not the least of which any of General Hux's modest selection of intelligence personnel at Star base, whom Ben was keenly aware of being their primary person of interest. That power-hungry, paranoid cretin was so thirsty to catch 'Kylo Ren' in the wrong—so desperate for _anything_ he could potentially use against him at a later date—that it was imperative for Ben to stay three lengths ahead at all times.

He slowed his pace a little more, though his steady steps didn't match the spinning wheels turning over and over in his mind. _Rey, the children..._ Hopefully the stairs would afford his reeling thoughts to figure things out; to form a solution to this most dire of problems that now lay in his hands.

The odds were heavily stacked against them, of course, which didn't alleviate his racing heart or heavy breathing when he thought of all that was at stake...should he not free Rey, his son, and his daughters from their terrible fates. How could he not fret outwardly, if only a little? His family's lives were up for grabs.

 _How the hell did they wind up back here?_ Ben had been certain the Falcon would outrun their tie fighters by hundreds of miles. All had appeared to be in Rey and the children's favour when he had been unexpectedly summoned away from Star base to answer Snoke's call. Ben hadn't expected to return carrying the distressful news of his family being retaken by their foes. This wasn't how matters were supposed to pan out. _They should never have been anywhere near here in the first place, damn it!_

Ben started to coil his fingers into fists as he reached the bottom step but, luckily, caught his stressing conduct that was simmering to the surface and stifled it as best he could manage. He inhaled several calculated, deep breaths, trying to relax the nagging tensions in his neck, shoulders, and back. They were persistent. He hadn't thought much on the niggling pains resulting from Snoke's latest dissatisfaction session; not since his master's Force-sensitivity expertise had intercepted news from Star base regarding the status of the Solo family and ordered Kylo Ren to return to his ship, which he had done whilst practically crawling on his hands and knees.

He wouldn't see to his own hapless needs now, however. They could surely wait; there was nothing for it. The same objective that had been running through Ben's mind days before, when his family had first been handed over to General Hux's forces, was stuck on repeat as he glided around a corner and took off towards Sector 15: _Get them out of here. Get them as far away from here as possible. Get them_ home.

 _'I'm coming,'_ he spoke softly into the void, hoping that not only his wife and eldest daughter could hear his words but that his two younger children, who weren't Force-sensitive, might perceive them as well. If anyone else was listening in, Kylo Ren's call would have sounded cold, without feeling, possibly (hopefully) threatening. _'I'm coming for you...'_

 

*** * ***

_What does Snoke want with Mum? Does Dad know? Surely, he must!_

In her desolate cell not far away, which consisted of nothing but steel grey, supposedly impenetrable barriers and no viewports, Amidala's back stiffened against the farthest wall where she sat. _That voice..._ The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She had heard that voice before—at a variety of times in the past, well before she ever discovered her Force-sensitive gifts. In fact, she had thought she heard him coming through earlier that day when she had placed her trembling hands on one of the Falcon's gunners for the first time, telling her to trust her instincts and when to strike.

It sounded like her father, of course, but then... _Why don't I trust it at all?_

Was it because of _who_ Kylo Ren had turned out to be, a horrifying and life-changing discovery Amidala and her siblings had only uncovered days ago? The shock had been acute and excruciating to come to grips with, and it hadn't fully sunk in yet.

Still, the prickling on the back of the young Padawan's neck wouldn't placate. Her arms inadvertently looped tighter around her long legs, which she hugged protectively to her chest. She couldn't explain away the bad feeling churning the pit of her stomach. She had felt it before, when she first came to Proclamation's Star base; but there had been no time to ask her parents questions. They were all too busy fighting to free themselves of this hideous place.

Amidala's frown deepened as she felt the negativity in the Force closing in. _No... I definitely don't trust it at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N #2 : Your feedback is greatly appreciated... And, again, my Tumblr is [here](http://crmediagal.tumblr.com/) if you care to come join me!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : Between a really hectic work schedule and my seven-month old nephew winding up in the hospital with pneumonia, this chapter took longer to write than anticipated. However, I appreciate everyone who has reviewed and expressed an interest in this story so far, and _that_ 's what's kept me plugging away at it, so _please don't stop leaving me your thoughts_!**
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> **Also, be sure to check out a lovely collage of images by[cosette-giry](http://cosette-giry.tumblr.com/post/140914962872/i-was-bored-so-i-made-a-little-fan-casting-based) on Tumblr that were put together of my dear OCs, the little Solos, in this story! They're absolutely wonderful and I so appreciate them!**
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> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

 

  
**Chapter 7**

_"Because of love, of course. The more you love something, the harder it is to lose."_  
―Ava Dellaira

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Rey had her head raised and her eyes firmly glued to the hefty metal door before it flew open at the touch of his command. She knew Ben was approaching her cell; she had sensed his coming footsteps before they made themselves audibly known to her listening ears. She didn't require the telepathic confirmation either that he would be with her soon, but it had been immensely comforting to receive, nonetheless.

Now, 'Kylo Ren' stood before her, as emotionally stunted and still as someone frozen in carbonite as the door shut behind him and whiffed at the bottom of his tattered robes. That stark, heavily guarded ensemble was something Rey had long despised, but she had learned many years ago to let the particulars of Ben's compromising role go, no longer permitting their appearance—or, in this case, reappearance—to creep under her skin as they so often used to. Even with his mask solidly blocking his expression, Rey could visualise what lay beyond the veil: fear; horror; disbelief that she and the children had been recaptured after such painstaking efforts had been made to escape Proclamation's Star base.

Rey quickly scrambled to her feet and dashed into the man's arms. They wrapped themselves around her back, long and sturdy, and cradled her possessively to his chest. Rey didn't mind. She heard him take several rapid breaths through the communicator behind his mask and waited.

At first, Ben said nothing, seemingly content to merely tighten his all-consuming grip around her petite frame, as if terrified that loosening his hold on his wife might render his arms suddenly empty.

"I'm sorry," Rey whispered and craned her neck to nuzzle against his; he was practically hunched over as his towering figure strained to embrace her with all of his might. "I'm sorry, Ben... We tried."

" _What happened_?" he demanded in that deep, robotic voice that was his mask's communicator, managing to sound both exasperated and shocked.

Rey reared back, but Ben wasn't about to relax his posture. She stared up at his masked countenance, still sensing the alarm and panic that wasn't being shown. "The Falcon's hyperdrive failed us. Ami and I tried to fight off the tie-fighters but... There were just too many of them." Ben peered down at her, not speaking or audibly breathing, so Rey carried on, pressing her dainty fingers into his rigid lower back as she spoke calmly, "The kids were banged up pretty badly. They kept putting up a fight—"

"And you..." he interrupted, his voice soft and restrained. His gloved hand suddenly appeared at her face and gently brushed along the gash in Rey's upper lip. She had all but forgotten being struck by the Stormtrooper earlier.

"It's nothing," she made to insist, feeling the Force-sensitive anger manifesting from her husband's side.

" _This cut is hardly 'nothing'_ ," he hissed defensively.

"Ben, easy. It's just a cut—"

" _What else did they do to you_?"

"Nothing! I'm fine!" She snatched up his hand that was holding fast to her and gave it a strong, reassuring squeeze. " _I'm all right_ ," she maintained, though in a much softer register this time.

Ben's stiff upper body began to unravel. His hands, arms, and shoulders visibly shook, and Rey heard him issue a couple more strained, quivering breaths before he lowered his head. Rey dug her fingers further into his back and, again, pressed his hand with the other. "And you," she murmured after a short pause, surveying him up and down with care; upon closer inspection, she noted how poorly he was carrying himself, "you're hurt." He tensed at her observance, and Rey knew she had hit a nerve; she felt the force of his mental shields pushing her backward, prompting her to press him to communicate. "What did he do to you this time?"

"It's nothing," he stated, unemotional, repeating Rey's exact words but with a hint of mockery that saw her glaring heatedly up into his mask.

"That isn't fair, Ben..."

"You needn't concern yourself with me. We need to focus on getting you and the kids the hell out of here, Rey—"

"Ben, please, tell me what he's done?"

"Later. It's not important," he insisted and seized her by both arms. "You need to get as far away from here as possible. Snoke will be coming soon."

A shiver shot down the length of Rey's spine at the utterance of that foul ghoul's name. Ben's words repeated like blasters in her head: _'Snoke will be coming soon.'_ Time was suddenly slowing to a crawl, leaving Rey feeling utterly powerless to speed things along. She, too, reached out and clutched Ben by his arms, sucking in an unsteady breath as she tossed her concerns momentarily to the back of her mind in order to focus on their next crucial steps.

"What are we to do? The Falcon won't run, Ben."

Ben thought for a moment, Rey's inwardly terrified, yet outwardly fearless expression reflecting upon his mask where his face ought to be. "My ship," he finally declared, catching the reservations that flashed across his wife's eyes. "You'll seize my ship."

 

*** * * * * ***

_Rey bundled her blanket tighter around herself and shut her eyes. Less than a minute later, the blanket was wrestled free of her own grasp and kicked down to her ankles. She huffed in frustration and shot upright on her lumpy mattress on the floor, with a deeply-etched scowl and sleep-deprived look about her person. It would have easily sent anyone nearby scurrying for the hills._

_Perhaps anyone except Kylo Ren._

What's the point in trying to sleep? _Rey wondered. She wouldn't get a wink's rest with that deranged commander supposedly 'sleeping' in the next room over from her. If Kylo Ren was to be staying feet away from her and Master Luke then she would remain awake for as long as humanly possible, not taking a chance on a few minutes' rest if it meant the difference between life and death. Being assassinated whilst she slept wasn't exactly appealing nor desired, so Rey easily renounced sleep for the time being and settled for glaring at the frayed curtain that separated her from her potential killer for the remainder of that first unforgettable night in the hut._

Why is he staying? _she kept going over and over in her head, though to no satisfying conclusion._ What's his angle? Why would he give up the fight so easily? There must be _something_!

_Kylo Ren had retired to the extra mattress in Master Luke's quarters hours ago, and yet, Rey hadn't heard a thing coming from that room since. She could detect faint snoring, but that was all. Was Kylo Ren actually asleep; or was he awake like her and waiting for her to let her guard down so that he might finally finish them off? Didn't he intend on killing her and Master Luke as had surely been his original plan? At the very least, wouldn't he plan on taking them back to Snoke?_

_'Change of plans,' came an unexpected, low voice in her head. Rey startled. In a second, her lightsaber was in her hand and bursting with blue light, and her heart was thumping twice as hard as before. 'Put that away,' he replied with an irritated growl. 'I have no intention of assassinating you in your sleep, girl.'_

_'Good to know, but I'm not a gullible fool and I sure as hell don't believe you!' she shot back, unnerved that he had heard her private musings. She had thought her mental shields were considerably tough to penetrate, but apparently Kylo Ren had been able to get inside her head without so much as making himself known. She felt both suddenly terrified and exposed._

_'Your loss of proper sleep then.' He sounded bored, which aggravated her further._

_'I'll take it!' She added, giving a perceptible huff into the night air, 'And stay the hell out of my head!'_

_'With pleasure, but you should better occlude your thoughts if you don't wish for me to hear them. Your mind is rather loud and obnoxious.'_

_A far more colourful remark came to mind but Rey refrained by biting hard on her lower lip. After getting her heart rate back to a more reasonable rhythm, she let her lightsaber snuff out but stayed upright and rooted to her bed, watching the threadbare curtain feet away through suspicious, slit-like eyes._

_If it was Kylo Ren's intention to drive her to paranoia and utter madness, Rey begrudged that, so far, he was succeeding._

 

*** * * * * ***

**Two Days Prior to Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

_"Y - Y -_ You _!" Amidala stammered, breathless, whilst pointing a quivering finger at the formerly masked, evil commander who had revealed his identity in her holding cell. The sudden exposure had sent the young Padawan toppling backward against the wall, stunned and appalled by what she saw. She heard him gently call her name in that loving, kind-hearted register she recognised as belonging to her father and blinked hard to will the horrid image away. It wasn't working, though. He still stood a few feet from her—her father—only he wasn't her father at all. Instead, he was dressed as that deplorable monster known throughout the galaxy as Kylo Ren; as the sinister, fallen Jedi whose ruthless deeds gave children nightmares and kept parents up at night, watching the skies lest he should come to terrorise their families._

This isn't real! _her mind was shrieking._ THIS ISN'T REAL!

_"Ami, listen..." He started to take a small, cautious step towards her, but Amidala skidded and pressed her back further against the durasteel wall, though there was nowhere to go._

_"NO!" she exclaimed, her round, dark eyes practically bugging out of their sockets. "St - Stay back! Stay away from me!"_

_"Ami, it's all right," he tried to reassure her, easing another step forward with his hand outstretched. Amidala kept her head bravely raised but the rest of her body visibly trembled as he approached. It gnawed Ben's insides to see his eldest child retreating from him, and yet, he didn't—and couldn't—condone her ill reaction to seeing him this way for the first time. "It's all right," he repeated quietly, desperately wanting to reach her. "It's me, Ami. It's_ me _."_

_"NO! GET AWAY!"_

_Staggering sideways, Amidala backed herself into the farthest corner of her cell, eyes petrified with fear; but there was something else surfacing that forced Ben to halt in his tracks. He could easily put a name to it, for it was a debilitating struggle that had plagued him for most of his life (that was, until Rey came along and changed his outlook on everything): anger. Consuming, uncontrolled, wild rage that was not only materialising on Amidala's contorted face but also penetrating the confined room they shared, intent to alter the mood and make matters worse. Much, much worse._

_"Ami," Ben tried once more to reach his daughter, speaking in a low, collected tone, "please, don't be frightened. It's your father; it's me. I promise, I won't hurt you."_

_"NO! You - You - You're_ him _!" Her voice suddenly broke and it took all of Ben's willpower not to rush at his daughter and scoop her up in his arms. "All this - this time, you - you were_ him _!" Tears prickled her eyes, which frantically darted back and forth between his distinguishable face—a face she had thought to be warm and compassionate and loving all her life—and the bone-chilling mask of Kylo Ren that was slung beneath his arm. Her mind was scrambling to make sense of how the two men could possibly be the same individual and Ben noted her mental struggle, wishing nothing more than to alleviate her pain and confusion._

_"Ami, it's all a cover—"_

_"BUT IT'S_ YOU _!" she shrilled, pointing at the mask more determinedly. "You're... You're Kylo Ren!" Her mouth drew open in shock and dismay, and the sore expression that soon took shape left Ben nearly shattered. "How could you?"_

_The question was small, terribly quiet and fragile, like a faint star burning out. In that moment, Ben could only stare; stare at the silent tears trickling down Amidala's handsome countenance; at the stabbing sense of betrayal being projected in her watery eyes. A combination of reds and blues danced before his sight, playing on his daughter's anguish and injury at being so horribly deceived._

And she _has_ been betrayed; they all have _, Ben lamented to himself, thinking painfully on his two other children whom he had yet to disclose this identity to._

 _How was he to go forward from here? It had been absurd, and yet, absolutely necessary to Ben to reveal himself to the children when they were taken hostage. Rey had been reluctant with his decision but supported him, nevertheless; he only wished she could be here now, occupying this cell with him at this very moment instead of being locked up where she was, to help their daughter understand._ Get them out of here _, his conscience reminded him, willing him not to crumble._ Get them home. They _have_ to trust you.

_Revealing the face behind Kylo Ren hadn't been in Ben's plans, but with his wife and children unexpectedly snatched by the Proclamation, a dire situation forced the double agent's hand. It was the only way to gain their confidence—or so he had told Rey when he first suggested the idea—and he had had to keep reiterating that end goal to himself before entering Amidala's cell._

_He had thought Amidala might take the news better than the younger ones, though, and if_ this _was the gut-wrenching reaction he was to expect from the littler ones he so loved as well, how could he possibly tell Han and Astrid, too?_

_Ben clenched his jaw and finally replied, his voice soft and subdued, "I... I did what I had to do, Ami."_

_Amidala's brow furrowed, not following. "So...you became this - this monster? You became Commander of the Proclamation? You joined the Dark Side?_ How could you, Dad _?"_

_"Ami—"_

_"They're evil!_ YOU _'RE EVIL!"_

 _Brought up short by that acid remark, Ben saw no point in contending it. His daughter may be young and naïve about most things, but she was correct on this one: he_ was _evil. Well, Kylo Ren was evil._

 _"I..." Ben started to explain, but the words he needed were nowhere to be found. He struggled to keep his gaze steady and on Amidala; to keep his mind on the intent. "You're right, little star," he bemoaned and slightly slumped his shoulders, "Kylo Ren_ is _evil but... But I'm not. I promise you, I'm not..."_

_"That doesn't make any sense!" she choked, pushing her back tighter into the corner._

_"Ami, what I do I do to protect you, your sister, your brother, and your mother."_

_"Protect me?" Amidala startled Ben by cracking up. The laughter was crazed rather than her usual whimsical sort; the kind that normally made the reformed Jedi's heart lighter to hear. "By plotting Darkness and destroying planets and—"_

_"Ami, listen—"_

_"—and killing any of those who stand in the Proclamation's way?" she screamed over him. "Kylo Ren is an enemy of the Resistance and a murderer!_ YOU _'RE A MURDERER!"_

 _"_ I'm not that person, Ami _!" Ben beseeched before going abruptly quiet and still, barely able to utter a soft-pleading, "Not... Not anymore." He lowered his gaze at last, unable to bear the hate and resentment that was swarming in Amidala's eyes._

_"How can you say that? Just look at you!" She gave a defining jolt to the negative energy that was churning about the room, prompting Ben to swiftly raise his eyes. If her emotions spiralled out of control, there was no telling what her Force-sensitive powers might unleash, and that was the last thing Ben wanted._

_Amidala gave a dramatic sweep of her arm, too caught up in the trauma of seeing her father dressed as Kylo Ren to notice the fluctuating energy, emphasising the fragmented black robes he wore; that unmistakable mask that had, for so long, hid his true identity; the deadly lightsaber positioned in its' hoister on his right side. She stared up at him, disbelief and fury flashing across her features. "M - Mum said you were on our side! You both made me believe—"_

_"I_ am _on your side, Ami! I swear it!"_

_"NO, YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE A LIAR IS WHAT YOU ARE!"_

_Deflated, Ben sighed and turned away from her. He flung his mask with more force than he had intended, and it landed on the duracrete floor with a deafening series of thuds; but Ben didn't care if his disguise was further damaged. He needed to get his family to safety; he needed Amidala to put her fears and anger aside long enough to simply see this escape operation through._

_"Yes, I'm a liar," he confessed without meeting her hard gaze, clenching his jaw as he spoke. "I'm not who you thought I was, Ami. I have a past that will disgust and disappoint you. I've done horrible things; things you don't yet know about. Kylo Ren is a part of my past. I... I've changed, though, Ami. Of that, I swear to you it's true!" He turned his head towards her, detesting the revulsion still present on his eldest child's face. Still, he couldn't blame her. "I'm sorry, Ami... I'm so sorry for not being the father you deserve. I've tried to be; I've tried to be better, honest!_

_"And I'm sorry for springing this on you but...it was the only way to get you to follow my lead. Without my help, you, your sister, your brother, and your mother will never make it out of here, do you understand? I know I don't deserve it but I_ need _you to trust me one last time! I want to get you out of here, but you and your siblings_ need _to see who I am or there would be no way I could convince the three of you to go along with the plan! Can't you see?"_

_"We don't need your help!" Amidala snarled through gritted teeth, crossing her arms over her chest and scowling at him with such loathing that Ben found it alarmingly uncanny; had he not thrown his mother and father that look of pure hatred on more than one occasion?_

Now you can surely understand how they must have felt _, he lamented, finding the similarity excruciating to swallow. "Yes, you_ do _, Ami," he tried to reason with her. He drew closer, ignoring Amidala's growing distemper. "This Star base is too vast and too polluted with personnel for you to get far on your own. You'd never make it to the main hanger. Not without me as your guide."_

_Amidala pursed her lips, obviously vexed by that point of contention, and looked away. "I'll do whatever Mum wants us to do," she consented, though bitterly. "Not you."_

_Ben sighed. He would take it. It was a start—a meagre acknowledgement of (somewhat) compliance—so he chanced inclining closer still. Amidala kept herself firmly rooted to the corner of her cell, refusing to meet his face._

_"I need to speak to your brother and your sister, and then your mother and I will devise how best to get you out of here, all right?"_

_Amidala stubbornly abstained from answering him, however. Ben, quickly tiring of his daughter's negative energy, and the fact that she wasn't doing anything about it, used his Force sensitivity and lashed out at its advancement. It immediately curled up and backed out of the room, much like a person who had had been unexpectedly smacked across the face. Amidala started, blinked, and drew her heated eyes back to her father, taken aback by his aggressive swipe at her energy but also that she hadn't noticed how out of control it had gotten until now._

_"All right?" she heard him repeat to her in a much stricter tone._

_After a tense pause, Amidala offered a defeated-sounding, "Fine. Whatever."_

_Ben wasn't finished, though. "Ami," he whispered, yearning, hoping against hope that he hadn't permanently damaged his relationship with his daughter. She stared at him, waiting for him to speak but without any lesser hostility. "I know you're angry with me... You have every right to be, but I need you to put that aside for now and not let this cloud your judgment. Please... Until you're safe and far away from this place, you're Force sensitive powers can get you into a whole lot of trouble; trouble I may not be able to get you out of, do you hear? You_ must _stay sharp and... And listen to your mother, if not me. Do you understand me?"_

_Amidala wavered, leaving Ben momentarily uncertain if she would get fresh with him again, scorn him for being a 'monster' (which was no less than he deserved in his mind), or readily comply as he hoped she would. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she lowered her arms and let a few lingering tears trickle down her cheeks. She appeared defeated and deeply upset, but she silently nodded her head, giving her quiet consent._

_It took all of Ben's willpower to turn on the spot and leave. He had hoped to hug it out—to offer his daughter the comfort and confidence she so desperately needed—but she didn't seem to want anything from him now but his absence. He forced each foot backward and, with tremendous difficulty, turned his back, picked up his mask, and made for the door._

_Her choking sobs stopped him short of exiting her cell. At her soft cries, he spun around, distressed, and found that Amidala had sunk to the floor and curled herself into a protective ball. She began furiously sobbing into her chest, her tortured face hidden from view; but her anguished cries spoke for themselves._

_Ben rushed forward and knelt down before her, pushing his mask aside, though Amidala was crying too hard and too forcefully to detect how close he was to her. Without any painstaking caution this time, Ben eased his hands around her small, quivering shoulders and left several fervent kisses atop her head. "I'm so sorry, Ami." He pushed the words out, finding his voice hoarse and the process of speaking trying. "I never wanted to hurt you. I promise you, I'll explain everything. There's no time now, but I_ will _make this up to you. You have my word, all right?" He heard her sobs quiet a little and stated, in a throaty, stricken whisper, "I love you...so much..."_

_Ben pecked the top of her head one last time and reluctantly pulled away from her, only to find his efforts suspended by Amidala, who yanked at the fabric on his arms and pulled him back to her. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and let her continue to cry into his chest. A minute or so later, she replied tearfully back, "I love you, too, Dad."_

_Ben burrowed his own tears behind all of his daughter's long hair and gently rocked them back and forth._

 

*** * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Amidala leaned her head back against one of the walls of her cell. Perhaps she should attempt meditation. Her mind and body were understandably anxious and tense. She unconsciously chewed the inside of her cheek and rocked herself back and forth. Neither coping mechanisms put her any more at ease, though.

 _Relax. Mum's here... Da— He's here... Everything's going to be okay._ Amidala let forth a long sigh and closed her eyes, loosening her shoulders and wringing her hands before resting them on top of her crossed legs. _Think of the ocean... Remember how they always described it? Clear, azure waters... Clean, fresh air... The wind serene and soft as it blows on your neck—_

_'Ami?'_

Amidala's breathing stilled and her eyes flew open. She inadvertently searched the room for any signs of life, knowing full-well that no one was there; but something _was_ there. She rolled her shoulders back and straightened her seated posture.

 _'Go away,'_ she commanded as assertively as possible.

 _'Why?'_ it answered back, sounding fraudulently crestfallen and weak. _'What have I done now?'_

_'Nothing. Just... Just go away.'_

_'You have no need of me?'_

_'No.'_ She wasn't aware of holding her breath, which wouldn't allow for proper concentration—at least, not for long. _'I've told you: I want nothing from you.'_

_'Yes, you do... Search your feelings.'_

_'Go away,'_ she ordered again, sensing an uneasy pressure against the tip of her mind.

_'I'm always here, Ami. I'll always be here. You can't so easily send me away. Not this time.'_

_'You can't threaten me.'_

_'That wasn't a threat, my dear. Shall I give you an example of one of my threats?'_

Amidala inched backward, though her back was met by impenetrable durasteel. _'No, please,'_ she begged, her heart racing like a speeder.

_'Then don't speak that way to me again.'_

She gulped and waited, the dreadful silence caving in on her like a shadow swallows light. Finally she asked, _'Wha - What is it you want?'_

_'You know what I've come for.'_

_'No! I... I can't! I can't deliver what you want, do you hear? I've told you already! Just leave me alone!'_

An eerie, quiet snarl met that remark. _'My patience grows thin with you, little Padawan.'_

_'I've never promised you anything!'_

_'_ I _'ve promised you everything you could ever want, you ungrateful little brat!'_

_'Ungrateful? How can I be ungrateful when I've told you that I'm not interested!'_

_'Then why do you keep me hanging about,_ girl _? Why won't you rid yourself of me once and for all?'_

 _'I... I can't.'_ She frowned, shivering at the uncomfortable chill that now contaminated the air.

Darkness smiled, prodding at the girl's mind and teasing her will. _'You need me,'_ it snickered triumphantly. _'You want what I'm offering you. No more stalling, Ami. No more games. I've tired of them.'_

_'I... No. Please...'_

_'Let me willingly in, and no harm will come to you. Deny me this time, and I can assure you, it won't be pleasant.'_

Amidala forced back tears. She always suspected it might come to this; it was why her instincts had pleaded with her from the very start to get as far away from this base as possible. Now, she was stuck, unable to break free, and in isolation, far removed from her parents who might otherwise be able to free her of this mental prison. Her impulse was to cry out to them—to beg for their help—but, ultimately, how much good would it do?

 _None_ , her mind concluded, resigned. _It will only hurt them more that they can't prevent it._

Amidala sucked in a nervous breath and brought her knees to her chest. _'F - Fine,'_ she surrendered, relinquishing only some of her mental blocks to the Darkness, which responded with glee. Violent reds twisted and bent before her sight, and then the pressure on her mind grew heavy and as sharp as a blade. She gasped and tightly hugged her knees, cringing as it rummaged abusively through her mind, hungrily probing for what it wanted. It soon let forth a frustrated growl.

 _'TELL ME,'_ it hissed, causing her to shake and cower, _'WHO IS YOUR FATHER?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N #2 : Please review, leave kudos, whichever and whatever you're willing to provide...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : Thank you kindly to those who have and/or continue to review. You encouraged this update more than you probably know. Enjoy...**
> 
>  
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

 

  
**Chapter 8**

_"He folded his fear into a perfect rose. He held it out in the palm of his hand. She took it from him and put it in her hair."_  
—Arundhati Roy

_Rey awoke with a powerful jolt, as though she was spiralling downward through a timeless blackhole. She bolted upright in bed, panting madly, and whipped her head back and forth, finding nothing abnormal or askew in her darkened bedroom._

_As gravity quickly caught up with her fuzzy sight, however, she groaned at the wave of dizziness and sleep deprivation that suddenly hit her like a blaster aimed at the centre of her skull. She gingerly rubbed her forehead in protest._ Damn it. How long have I been out? An hour? Maybe two?

 _Rey wasn't sure when exactly she had finally dozed off, but she was certain that the sun had been starting to rise when her heavy eyelids succumbed to sleep. She had meant to stay awake all night, though, and sighed in annoyance._ Well...you're still alive and breathing, aren't you? _she reminded herself, thoroughly surprised to find that to be the case._

_Shuffling coming from the next room over forced Rey's weary eyes to reopen. The mouth-watering aroma of breakfast cooking, the light scraping of utensils against tin platters, and Master Luke's soft chattering infiltrated her senses and, with that, Rey was struggling to stand. She grumbled as she staggered and swayed her way to the kitchen, throwing back the curtain to inhale another whiff of that divine breakfast smell. To her utter surprise, Master Luke and Kylo Ren were sitting cross-legged on the floor again in front of the wooden kitchen table, with the small fireplace in the corner emitting some much needed heat into their cosy, tight-knit quarters._

_Master Luke halted whatever he was in the midst of muttering to Kylo and both men turned their heads to stare up at Rey. "Ahhh, Rey," greeted Master Luke, ushering her forward with a wave of his hand. "I was just about to fix you a plate. I'm afraid there's not much left. I gave most of this morning's meal to Ben here, seeing as he never ate last night. Come, sit. I'll dish you out what's left."_

_Rey conveyed her appreciation with a low grunt and plopped herself down opposite Kylo once more, grumpy and scowling but otherwise diverting her attention to anywhere but his maddening presence. There wasn't much for her eyes to look upon, unfortunately. Master Luke's hut was utterly plain and devoid of personal belongings, containing only the essentials and not much else._

_"I see you didn't get much sleep," Kylo pointed out once Master Luke had disappeared into the nearby kitchenette._

_Rey blinked and ogled her adversary, put off by that mechanical voice of his. Why was he even addressing her? "I see you still haven't seen fit to remove your mask," she countered, giving an off-putting nod towards his cold, chrome-shaped cover-up. "Why? Afraid to look us in the eye, perhaps?"_

_Kylo spat nothing sarcastic in return, which Rey admittedly found a tad shocking. He kept his intense gaze on her, though, his Dark energy simmering and swerving about but remarkably tame as compared to when he had first arrived. Even her slight provocation hadn't wobbled his spitfire energy—yet._

_When Master Luke ambled back into the room a minute or so later, Rey was unnerved that Kylo still hadn't diverted his attention away from her. The aged Jedi, on the other hand, seemed entirely oblivious to the new tension that now hung in the air; or, if he was aware of the fact, he was purposely avoiding paying it any mind. Instead, he encouraged Rey to "eat up!"_

_Rey didn't hesitate. She had just taken up her fork and first bite of food when Kylo made a sudden move that had her eyes instantly dashing back to him, this time with heated suspicion. She didn't snatch up her lightsaber this time, however, for he quickly revealed both gloved hands, neither of which were armed. Rather, they were reaching for his mask. Its mechanisms warped and clicked out of joint at his light touch before he was able to pull the seal away from his face, revealing a startling sight that turned the meshed spoonful of oats seated on Rey's tongue to ash._

The scar... _Rey had forgotten all about the facial laceration she had given Kylo the first time they had duelled each other months ago on Starkiller base._ How could you forget about that scar?

_"Lucky for you," came his snippy reply to her inner thoughts, his hard, pale countenance void of any emotion. "I, on the other hand, am not so fortunate as to conveniently forget this." He gestured to the unsightly, brutal marking that ran diagonally across the length of his face and then turned to his full platter of food, ignoring Rey._

That _made Rey even more uncomfortable. Was that why he had kept his mask on: because of his scar; a scar she had tainted him with? A pang of guilt began eroding away some of the hatred that had been bubbling and building up within the walls of her chest, and yet, his snide remark also reinforced to Rey why she had been forced to do what she did. It had all been in self-defence, after all, and Rey reminded herself of that sobering fact as she finally swallowed the first bite of her breakfast._

 _"What do you want?" she baited after she had recovered from her start; those hair-raising dark eyes flickered back to her in a flash. "An apology? After trying to kill me, you expect_ me _to feel remorse for the scar I left you with?" Her bright eyes narrowed as they bore resentfully into his. "You deserved what you got."_

 _Kylo's complete lack of a response took Rey farther aback, for he merely stared at her, neither with outrage nor incredulity. She blinked several times before binding her lips together. Their quiet exchange was far too discomforting and she wound up blushing despite herself. She wanted to say something else but held back her tongue. She could only hope it wasn't more unnecessary guilt keeping her words at bay. Kylo Ren was the last individual in all of the wretched galaxy who deserved an ounce of her pity._ Rather, if anyone should be apologising, it should be _him_! _Rey told herself, huffing internally._

_Finding their stare down increasingly uneasy, Rey resumed chewing her food with more severity and only chanced a brief glance or two at Kylo after nearly a minute had passed by in awkward, tense-filled silence. The only sounds that occasionally broke the stillness were the clanging of utensils against plates or mouths softly nibbling on food. Master Luke cleared his throat and moved his meshed oats around his platter but didn't eat much more. Kylo had reluctantly begun grazing his breakfast before tearing into it without any sense of propriety. Evidently, his empty stomach had gotten the better of his stubborn resolve not to accept Master Luke's former offerings and Rey quietly snorted at that. She had no idea what Master Luke planned to serve their unwanted guest next, but she could only pray that it wouldn't include her._

No, thank you!

 

*** * ***

_Apparently, Rey's desperate prayers weren't to be granted. She groaned as she followed Master Luke and Kylo out of the hut and onto the fresh, rolling hillside, the fierceness of the ocean breeze thrashing like frozen fractals against any exposed skin. Rey ignored the icy chill on this morning. Master Luke had something in mind to teach her today and, though she was most reluctant to go along with the befuddling man's plans, especially if they were to involve Kylo Ren in any capacity, she reservedly tagged along, forcing each step forward._

_They didn't have to walk far. Master Luke stopped near the start of the hill, prompting Kylo and Rey to halt as well. Rey took several additional paces sideways, sharply glancing at Kylo out of the corner of her eye. He had placed his mask back on his face as they exited the hut but still appeared entirely out of his element, probably confounded and uncomfortable by the looks of his slanted, clamped up stance. He stood like an airtight compartment compromised strictly of black robes that rippled and billowed as violently as his flighty emotional state had proven._

_"Now then," Master Luke piped up rather jovially, placing his walking stick against one arm so that he could clap his hands together. Rey raised a perplexed eyebrow. What the hell was there to be cheerful about? "I want you to practice channelling one another's Light energy. Rey, you've been working on this for some time; you know what to do." He turned to Kylo and his conduct turned stiff. "Ben, um... I know it's been some time since you've, erm, well... Since you've attempted any use of the Light side of the Force but—"_

_"I have no need of your lectures, old man," he interrupted with churlish disregard. "I've heard them all too many times before."_

_Master Luke lowered his eyes a fraction. "Yes, well..." he croaked awkwardly before settling for silence._

_"Then what are you waiting for?" Rey proposed, purposely goading Kylo on, which earned her his direct attention; his mask slightly turned towards her. "That is, if you know everything there is to know then let's get started, shall we?"_

_There was a short pause before Kylo answered, his deep register both provocative and baleful-sounding to her ears, "As you wish."_

_"Just a moment!" Master Luke made to butt in, throwing his hands up in the air, but he was too quickly overruled by his younger company._

_In the next suspenseful seconds, Rey had raised her arm, Kylo following marginally thereafter, and the two were suddenly grasping at air, their straightened arms quivering and their fingers furling and unfurling as they stared, fixated, on the seemingly empty centre between them. Although Kylo's face was unreadable, his posture was now anchored and concentrated, mirroring Rey's focused, twisted expression and furrowed brow._

_At first, Rey sought to clutch Kylo's Light as her master had instructed, but she soon drew back, stumped by its near invisibility. Its luminosity was about as effective as a few specks of dust captured under a full ray of light, and both its miniature size and lack of brilliance caught Rey entirely off her guard. It paled in comparison to Master Luke's Light Force, the only other Force-sensitive person with whom she had ever practiced this exercise on._

Shouldn't you be more shocked that he has any Light left in him at all? _her shrewd mind advised her, countering the initial shock of her discovery, to which Kylo hissed with displeasure._

_On the other hand, Rey's immense ball of Light easily overpowered the gap separating them, dancing like the sun itself about the space as it effortlessly fed off of Kylo's far less positive energy, much like an adult might allure a cantankerous child with the promise of sweets. Every time Kylo drew a touch closer to Rey's brilliance, her Light would evade him, fluttering away like taunting laughter on the wind._

_It wasn't long before Kylo tired of this mental game. With a blood-curdling growl, he suddenly lurched at Rey's Light, wrestling her for a mere fraction of its brilliance. His parched, deprived energy was thirsty for it, clawing at her Light and wanting to wrestle it into submission. His energy had rapidly spiralled into a wild, untamed beast, startling Rey and heightening her mental shields. She fought back. Her lips curled back like a ferocious Nexu, her teeth bared and clenched. Her Light pawed at Kylo, striking him with such force that he physically lost his balance. He teetered backward a few steps and dropped his hand to his side._

_Their connection was instantly severed, and Rey's Light skidded to be by her side once more. Both she and Kylo were panting heavily, their bodies rigid and on edge as they stared down one another, motionless. Sweat had broken out on Rey's forehead, but she wasn't yet aware of how challenging a mental exercise she had just undertaken. She was too distracted by Kylo—or what she could discern from that emotionless, cold-blooded mask of his—listening to his perturbed, erratic breathing and pointed glances that reverted from her to a pensive-looking Master Luke and then back to her again._

_"Well..." Master Luke's voice penetrated the uneasy silence after a pause. Rey's eyes fell on her teacher, waiting, but he was gazing at the centre between them and stroking his grey, bristly beard. "That was...not what I wanted, Ben..." Rey didn't miss how Kylo's broad shoulders drew back and his hands fisted into two tight balls. Otherwise, he remained perfectly still. Master Luke blinked, as if coming out of a trance, and turned his attention to his nephew, issuing a critical frown Rey recognised; she had been on the receiving end of that look more times than she cared to recount. "The idea was for you to_ channel _Rey's Light, not try to steal it from her."_

_"I wasn't trying to 'steal' anything!" he snarled back, clearly nettled by such an accusation, which Rey couldn't help finding amusing. Despite the foreboding communication device coming from the man's mask, that full-blown exasperation made Kylo sound more like a petulant child on the verge of a temper tantrum than the highly feared Commander of the First Order. Evidently, she was the only one of the three to find it humouring._

_"Then what were you trying to accomplish?" Master Luke pressed, exercising a level of patience that Rey knew not._

_"I..." Kylo sharply turned his head, facing Rey head-on, but whatever he intended to say was abruptly lost. "Forget it." He waved his hand at her dismissively. "This has been a complete waste of my time."_

_Rey easily rose to Kylo's instigating words. "Oh, yeah?_ Then why are you still here _?"_

 _Kylo's fists coiled tighter still. His negative energy seethed and resurfaced but with an enhanced fury not previously unleashed. "It's no concern of_ yours _, scavenger scum!"_

_Rey's eyes were ablaze. She recklessly hunched forward, as though she was about to pounce. Kylo, too, threw back his shoulders and squared off against her, at the ready._

_"_ 'Scavenger scum' _?" she growled and started to glide towards him. "Why, you stuck up, hideous, vile—"_

 _"_ That's enough _!"_

_All of sudden, Master Luke's blue lightsaber had been drawn, blistering the crackles and sparks that had ignited between his nephew and his apprentice. His arm reached out in front of Rey to both protect and halt her advance._

_After floating back to reality from her angry stupor, Rey realised that Master Luke's lightsaber was what had also inevitably stopped Kylo from taking her on. Their fight would have surely been dealt with by use of their bare hands, which made Rey feel all the more foolish for her reaction._

_Kylo projected what Rey could only describe as another one of his ruthless stares, with that vulgar mask of his, before he spun around and stormed off in the opposite direction. Rey crossed her arms, content to watch him go._ Hopefully he'll actually leave the island! _she all but sputtered aloud._

_Master Luke lowered his defences and gathered up his walking stick. Rey was glad that her somewhat senseless teacher had at least decided not to go after his mental case of a nephew this time. He, too, watched Kylo march to the edge of the cliff, where he stopped and stared out at the open sea, unmoving. When the Jedi spoke up, he sounded both gutted and sympathetic, uttering to Rey above the relentless roar of the wind, "Well, that could've gone worse..."_

_Rey snorted and eyed him, dismayed. "You should've let me have a go at him."_

_"And risk you falling prey to his Darkness?" he took her aback by retorting, giving her another one of his disapproving look overs. "No, I don't think so, Rey."_

_"But I wouldn't!"_

_Master Luke's obvious lack of faith brought Rey up short and made her feel considerably smaller than before. "Sometimes your hatred clouds your ability to see, young Padawan. You're very capable, Rey, and you've come far in only a matter of months, but you have a long way to go before you will ever truly be free of the Darkness' seduction. Don't underestimate its power."_

_"I... I won't—"_

_"And don't overestimate your own competence. Overconfidence is a weakness and can only lead to trouble."_

_Rey tightened her jaw defensively. "And what about your nephew?" she challenged, nodding towards the stark, swirling silhouette gazing out at the horizon where the overcast sky met the stormy sea. "What about_ him _? You saw how he tried to take my Light from me! He was unruly and out of control!"_

 _Master Luke's face fell. It was so remarkably sombre and sad that Rey inwardly cursed herself for speaking at him with such frankness. "He didn't want to take away your Light, Rey..." he whispered; she blinked at her master, confused by his assessment of what had happened. "You see, Ben wants so desperately to be a part of it again; a part of the Light. His soul has been deprived of it for so long, and yet, it desires it;_ he _craves the Light. There's a difference." He stared thoughtfully at Kylo's shadow in the distance. Rey, too, fixed the fallen Jedi with her own gaze, one that was now riddled with doubt. "I... I was trying to get him to admit that for himself, but he's just not quite ready yet to face the truth. This will take time; more time than I bargained on."_

_Master Luke slowly moseyed away from Rey's side, his idle steps eventually leading him back inside the hut. Rey's feet rooted themselves to the soft ground, however, her eyes hooked on the colossal contour of Kylo Ren, who seemed to have no intention of moving from his spot near the ledge of the hillside._

_Was what Master Luke had said true? Had her own animosity and distaste for Kylo Ren genuinely prevented her from differentiating between a man's yearning to return to the Light versus wanting to swallow it whole?_

_For the first time in pondering the disturbing persona that was Kylo Ren, a man whom Rey believed to be a true monster and nothing more, she couldn't decide. That didn't mean she was convinced of Master Luke's sanity; or that Kylo Ren had had an abrupt change of heart in his short time on the island._

_'There's a difference,' her master's words kept ringing in Rey's bewildered mind._

Yeah, well, best we find out sooner rather than later what Kylo Ren's 'difference' in character and intentions _really_ are...before we wind up as bait for Snoke!

 

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Astrid shivered and pulled her tiny, bent legs more securely to her chest. Her holding cell was freezing and hollow, but it wasn't the frigid temperature in the room that saw the skittish five-year old snaking her arms around her petite frame in order to give herself a protective, reassuring hug. She would have preferred the warm arms of her mother or her father, but they were nowhere to be found.

_Mummy... Daddy..._

With a troubled frown, the little girl settled her head on top of a small durasteel bench attached to one of the corners of the wall and unconsciously chewed her bottom lip, waiting. There seemed to be a _lot_ of waiting involved in this horribly mean-spirited place where her father resided, and its adverse energy gave Astrid what her brother tended to call 'the creeps'.

Occasional eerie squeaks and strange, soft noises caused her heart rate to jump and her frightened, wide eyes to dart about the room, searching for the source of the sounds; but she never found anything—or anyone—there. As soon as she allowed herself to relax—well, at the very least, chanced loosening her self-embrace—she would hear another unwelcoming noise and the panic would snowball all over again.

Footsteps came and went but never stopped in front of Astrid's cell. Voices trickled in and out of focus but never resembled someone she knew and loved. The voices so far certainly hadn't belonged to her mother or her father, nor Han or Amidala.

Where were they? Where her sister and brother all right? When would her parents come for her as her father had before and get her out of here?

 _Like last time_ , Astrid bewailed, curling herself into a compact ball whilst whimpering faintly against the bone-chilling silence. She was sorely tempted to cry out to him, though she wasn't even sure how; but then she remembered being in that scary control room hours ago and seeing him disguised as that 'other person'—that haunting, macabre character with the black mask that contained no relatable eyes—and having his ghostly, angry energy shut her down. _That_ had spooked Astrid to her core and she smartly chose against making another go of it.

 _Is he mad at me? What did I do?_ She tried to recall what her mother had instilled in them quietly as they were led away, about how everything was 'going to be all right'; but she also remembered her mother's committed order not to engage with their father at the time. _But_ why _?_ she wondered with less and less clarity.

Astrid stared at the large shadows that lined her cell, ominous as they intently blocked much of the light. Why had her father done that to her? Her parents and sister often spoke about something called 'the Force'—an energy that one couldn't see, only feel—and her father's own energy, as it came down hard upon her in that moment, hadn't felt at all good. There was none of his warmth or attachment or avid regard. In fact, its aversion and coldness had terrified her, for its forbearance was entirely unlike the last encounter she had had with him before the family made their first blunder of an escape.

_'Kylo Ren' had unexpectedly entered Astrid's cell, sending the girl scurrying into a corner in fear. As soon as her cell door closed, however, he promptly removed his mask, and Astrid was startled out of her terror and, rather, soothed by the surprise relief of recognising her father._

_"Daddy!" she squeaked and instantly crawled out of the shadowy corner to which she had retreated._

_Ben knelt down before her as Astrid pounced into his mighty arms, which enveloped around her with ease and hoisted her off the ground. She squeezed her much daintier arms around his neck and inhaled a comforting whiff of his scent; a masculine, snug fragrance she well knew and understood._

_Ben was the first to rear back and survey his youngest. Astrid's innocent face was understandably addled once it met his, her arms remaining loosely folded around his neck as her curious eyes scanned him up and down, not comprehending his attire._

_"I don't understand," she said simply, citing his sombre disguise, "why are you dressed like this, Daddy?"_

_Ben brought his face close to hers and whispered, in all seriousness, "No one knows, little star, and I'm afraid it must stay that way."_

_Astrid's eyebrows came together, intrigued. "But Mummy? Astrid? Han?"_

_"They know, little star, but_ no one else _can know about this."_

_"Why?" She exercised a hushed tone as well, drawing closer to him. "Why are you dressed like him, Daddy?"_

_Ben couldn't have been more grateful to have Astrid so unknowledgeable about his counterpart, Kylo Ren, than he did at this moment. Confronting Amidala had been detrimental, Han less so but still a touch unfortunate, whilst Astrid alone was the only child of his who was entirely oblivious to the most ruthless and merciless tyrant in the galaxy, with the exception of Snoke himself._

_That didn't mean that his littlest wasn't clever enough to perceive on her own that whoever Kylo Ren was, he wasn't at all a man to be trusted nor was he on their side. Her disquietness and confusion continued as her wholesome eyes bore into his._

_"It's a cover, little star," Ben tried to explain for her in simple terms, though Astrid didn't appear keen on letting him so readily off the hook._

_"A cover for what, Daddy?"_

_"For the Resistance."_

_"Oh!" Astrid's face broke out in a smile at the mention of the Resistance. "That's good! Mummy and Grandma are with the Resistance!"_

_"That's correct, little star, but it's imperative that no one here know that_ I _'m a part of it, too. Do you understand?"_

_Astrid nodded emphatically. "Okay!"_

_Unconvinced, Ben eyed the youth in his arms over with more earnest. "That means you cannot refer to me as 'Daddy' in this place, Astrid. Not in front of anyone else either."_

_Astrid's grin flopped. "Oh... It's a secret?"_

_"Yes," Ben stated and emphasised, "a very important secret. If anyone was to find out who I really am, little star, I could get into big trouble."_

_Astrid's eyes widened with concern. "'Big trouble', Daddy?"_

_"Oh, yes," he stressed, and the gravity of his words seemed to stick._

_"I won't tell, Daddy, I promise!"_

_"Will you keep my secret safe, little star?"_

_"Yes, Daddy!" She hugged him fiercely to stress her commitment._

_Ben leaned in to affectionately nuzzle and peck Astrid's small, button nose in appreciation. "Thank you, little star._ Thank you _."_

Astrid's frown deepened. The silence was deafening, suppressing. She needed to get out of this depressing room. She needed her father's reassurance more than anything; perhaps one of his tight, all-consuming hugs or hearty kisses that had lifted her spirits.

_Like last time._

Then she felt it—that tingling, uncomfortable sensation of phantom-like fingers trailing over her face, tugging at her ears and tapping at her forehead. She couldn't see them but she could _feel_ them, nonetheless, and her skin broke out in goosebumps.

 _Da - Daddy..._ Astrid softly whined into the darkness, despite the heavy warnings that had been conveyed to her over and over in recent days; she covered her ears with both hands and forced her eyes shut. Maybe if she kept her eyes closed, she considered, she wouldn't lay sight upon the horrifying Evil that haunted her cell, waiting for its chance to grab her. _Da - Daddy! Can you hear me? Mu - Mummy! PLEASE! HELP ME!_

To her stunned horror, a strange voice, low and foreboding, responded to her cries, coercing her startled eyes to open and her heart to pound with increasing alarm, _'Tell me, my little wonder,'_ it whispered and Astrid could practically sense it smiling at her from somewhere beyond her vision, _'who is your father?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : Please review... And a reminder that I have a [Tumblr](http://crmediagal.tumblr.com/) where I welcome hearing from you, too...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N : Happy Easter to any who celebrate... Longest chapter so far...**
> 
>  
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

 

  
**Chapter 9**

_"I am terrified by this dark thing that sleeps in me."_  
—Sylvia Plath

**Present Day**

**(D'Qar, Resistance Headquarters)**

An unsettling series of images yanked General Organa from her post, disrupting the grave conversation in play between her and her high-ranking Resistance major and officials. Her eyelids fluttered and, feeling suddenly disoriented, she stumbled forward, trying to catch her balance. In an effort to keep from crashing to the floor, she grasped onto the circular worktable in front of her, clutching its edges with both hands. Her entire body trembled for a few stress-filled moments before stilling, catching everyone in the room off guard.

Head Major Brance, one of Leia's closest friends and confidants in recent years, was immediately by her side, one hand lightly touching the back of her shoulder. "General?" he asked, glancing over her with obvious concern. The others surrounding their work station, too, looked on with worry. Leia quickly dismissed their wide-eyed expressions with a brisk shake of her head. Slowly, she drew upright again and inhaled a deep breath, though Brance noted that she didn't look much at all improved. Her complexion was pasty, almost sickly, and there was a panic that had settled in those soft, brown eyes that had materialised out of thin air. "Are you sure you're all right?" he pressed her quietly, keeping his hand still on her back.

"Yes, I - I'm fine," Leia tried to assert, though her voice was trembling. She swallowed hard and insisted, this time in a much stronger voice, "Continue with your preparations, Major. I need to step outside for a moment to clear my head."

Although not persuaded by Leia's excuse, Brance politely nodded to his boss and gave a compliant, "Yes, Ma'am." He turned to those closest to him and they hastily resumed their heavy-handed discussions regarding their next plans of attack whilst Leia stepped out, unseen.

Leia shuffled down a short hallway and out the front door, taking a solemn moment to catch her balance and to appreciate the gentle breeze that lightly feathered her face. It soothed some of the angst that had swept over her so unexpectedly, though only a little, and she drew in another slow, steady breath to calm her nerves.

When she opened her eyes, she was startled out of her reverie to discover that she wasn't alone. " _Luke_!" she gasped, a warm smile at once lighting up her face.

Lingering beside Leia in front of Resistance's Headquarters was none other than her elusive brother, standing silently in his signature beige cloak and hood that was draped over his face, concealing most of his identity; but Leia would have recognised her brother in any attire he donned.

Master Luke swiftly removed his hood and greeted her like old times, with a fierce hug and a welcoming smile. "You all right, sis?" he questioned after pulling away from her, eying Leia apprehensively. "You don't look so good."

"I..." Leia found herself shifting back and forth, uneasy with the disturbance that had recently hit her.

Master Luke apparently sensed the words that wouldn't come, for his expression turned dark and pensive. "Then you felt it, too?" he whispered, to which Leia didn't hesitate to respond this time, though her voice was softer than before.

"Yes... A disturbance in the Force."

Reading her rattled energy, Master Luke asked his sister, expressing with some urgency, "What did you see?"

"I... I saw Rey and the children. They were in trouble, Luke."

"What sort of trouble?"

Leia unconsciously wove her arms around herself as she explained, her nerves heightening as she spoke, "Rey's Light... It - It seemed to be being sucked out of her somehow; it was horrifying to watch. Astrid was crying out in the darkness and something was attacking her. Then she just stopped moving. Han... He was being pursued by someone with a lightsaber; someone whose face I couldn't see. And Ami, she..." Leia paused to hitch a shuddering breath. "She left us, Luke... She abandoned the Light to...to _him_."

Master Luke stared on, seemingly reticent and unforthcoming. "And Ben?" he inquired after a rather pregnant pause.

Leia's frown hardened. "I don't know. I couldn't see him at all in any of this. But I _did_ see..."

"Go on, Leia."

To Master Luke's recollection, Leia had never looked more disturbed, and that raised his concerns several notches. "His lightsaber,—Luke, the lightsaber he carries on him as Kylo Ren—it was the same one that...that was going after Han."

Master Luke diverted his gaze towards the ground for a long moment, clearly lost in his thoughts, before eventually offering in a hushed, painful whisper, "I see..." that brought Leia no reassurance.

Leia swallowed her anxieties and stepped closer. "Had you any sort of vision like this?"

"No... Just a sensation; a terrible feeling that the family is crying out for help." Master Luke's eyes briefly scanned the area. "Where's Ben now?"

"As far as I know, at the enemy's base. He hasn't checked in for three days, but that's normal for him."

"Would he alert you if the family was in trouble?"

"Of course he would."

"You're certain, Leia?"

Leia's eyebrows came together, her expression darkening. "Are you insinuating something, Luke?"

"Nothing at all." The words sounded indifferent rather than accusatory, but Leia didn't care for them one bit. She watched him give the area another general sweep with his shrewd eyes. "And where are Rey and the children?"

Leia blinked, perplexed. "At home, I would presume."

The worry that flashed across Master Luke's eyes answered Leia's internal fears before he replied, "I've just come from there. No one's home."

Leia stepped back, still hugging herself and quite visibly alarmed. "Rey was running a short drop off for the Resistance two days ago, but she should have gone directly home after that."

"Has she checked in at all with you?"

"No, but she _does_ have three kids to see to, Luke—"

Master Luke put up a hand to calm Leia's defences. "I would think nothing of it either, Leia, except Amidala and I were supposed to have a training session this morning and she and Rey never showed."

Leia ceased moving side to side, staring on at her brother with utmost dread. "You don't think...?"

Maintaining his cool far better than Leia could, Master Luke reached out to squeeze her arm. "Your vision may be a warning and nothing more, Leia, but I fear Rey and the kids may be with the Proclamation now."

Leia skidded backward out of her brother's reach, her trembling arms collapsing to her sides. "Well, then we need to get them out of there! I'll ready our fighters—"

" _Leia, no_."

"What?" She gaped at the collected Jedi as though he had gone spare. " _Why_?"

"If Ben hasn't communicated that he wants our interference, he may be trying to get them to safety himself. We don't want to mess with his plans until we know more." Anticipating Leia's next hard-hitting questions, he hurriedly carried on, "Let me see what I can find out before we send up any of our attackers to wage a fight."

" _How_?" Distress flickered across her features. "You're not suggesting going to Proclamation's Star base alone, are you?"

Much to her misgivings, Master Luke lips broke out in a smirk. "You know me too well, sis."

" _Luke, that's absurd_!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "You'd never bypass their security clearance!"

"As if we haven't found ways around that before..."

Leia's gaze sharpened. Master Luke sheepishly looked away; that hard expression carried the same gravity and admonition as the kind she used to so heavily give her late husband. " _Don't, Luke_ ," she begged rather than warned, sensing her efforts were probably futile.

"It's worth a try."

"And if you get caught?"

Master Luke shot her a small, encouraging smile. "Then we may be declaring war on the Proclamation sooner than we'd anticipated. Have your fighters at the ready." At Leia's upholding reservations, he reached out once more and took her by the hand. "I'll be fine, Leia. We _need_ to try to help Ben and Rey. Hopefully he already has matters under control."

Leia exhaled long and hard, unaware of having held her breath, and slowly nodded. "Yes, of course. Just..."

"I will," he finished for her, comprehending what she couldn't bring herself to utter.

"And don't..."

"I won't."

Resigned, Leia nodded towards the inside of their headquarters at her back. "Take Chewie with you. He'll insist on accompanying you anyhow. There's no reasoning with him anymore."

Master Luke's smile broadened. "Very well. I could use the Wookie's help."

Leia shook her head and climbed the steps to the front glass doors, calling over her shoulder, "I'll tell Chewie you're here and have staff ready a ship for you."

"My cruiser works just fine."

"That thing's a piece of junk," she insisted as she threw open one of the doors. "Wait here."

Master Luke offered an appreciative bow, threw the hood of his cloak back over top of his head, and strolled around the front of the concrete building to await further preparations for his departure. His attention was momentarily diverted towards a grand marble monument that stood along the side entrance to Headquarters, where the majority of the Resistance's ships were kept. It had long ago been erected in Han Solo's memory and Master Luke trekked closer, thoughtfully meditating on the simple letters that were etched into the exquisite limestone. It was a considerable moment or two before he made a sound.

"I miss you, my old friend," he murmured and the wind reacted by catching on his cloak, lightly rippling at the worn material.

Master Luke wasn't aware for how long he stood in front of Han Solo's monument, thinking on their past harrowing adventures—and rows—in quiet contemplation, but he never heard the individual who next crept up behind him until its arms—gigantic and covered in fur—suddenly whisked around his front and shoved him into a compact, immensely affable hug. Its familiar vocals, which sounded like something akin to a moan and a soft cry, greeted Master Luke's ears and he smiled warmly against the Wookie's fur coat.

"Hey, Chewie."

" _Narrggghhh_!"replied his old friend.

Master Luke affectionately patted his arms. "You ready?"

" _Rrrrhhmm_!"

Chewie released Master Luke so that he could turn around and face him, still all smiles, though the strain in his eyes wasn't lost on the sharp Wookie. "It's going to be dangerous," he cautioned Chewie, who bore his teeth and met his warning with laughter. Master Luke shook his head in defeat. "I should have known. C'mon."

 

*** * * * * ***

_Kylo shivered against the frigid cold and bundled his long, tattered scarf across his mouth and reddened nose. The air felt like whiplash against his alabaster skin, piercing the sensitive flesh repeatedly with its fury-driven opposition to his presence._ This place will be the death of me _, he reflected with sour humour before scoffing at his own morbid thoughts,_ and _that_ wouldn't be such a terrible thing, would it?

 _Despite his protesting stubbornness to remain where he was and keep his mask off, Kylo's teeth clattered. This island was dismal, not to mention a spoil to his precious time and energy._ Curse it! _he all but snarled aloud, mirroring the wind's ire._

 _Kylo knew he should never have come here. He should never have surrendered to Uncle Luke's telepathic call in the first place, and so easily at that. He was made of stronger stuff than this; or so he kept reiterating to himself when he was alone with his nonplus thoughts. He hadn't informed his master of where he was—yet—but there was still time._ Still time to tell him that I've uncovered Luke Skywalker's and the girl's whereabouts...

 _Had it been thirsty curiosity that had led Kylo to this secluded island from years' past in order to bear witness to how his aged uncle was now thwarting away his golden years in isolation and ruin?_ No... _Kylo knew well the reasons behind what had brought him here to this moment in time, though he wasn't yet ready to acknowledge the turning point at hand. It was too frightening; too surreal and precarious to wrap his brain around._

_Kylo's paranoid conscience wanted to believe that he was somehow being led astray against his will; that his uncle and that headstrong apprentice of his were setting him up. Perhaps they were. Yet, if that was truly the case, it didn't matter to him, even if his heart insisted that it wasn't._

_Kylo wasn't about to take a chance on_ that _, though. His heart wasn't in use anymore. The Darkness had no need for sentimentality and affections. It thrived on emotions, of course, but they were not to be wasted on triviality such as those who weren't worthy of them._

If Uncle Luke and the girl wish to end this here then so be it. _Kylo squinted in the darkness, trying to make out the horizon, though night had fallen and he could no longer spot the water's edge._ Uncle Luke... _To Kylo's recollection, the now elderly, grey-bearded man hardly resembled his old self, and it wasn't mere age that seemed to have worn him thin._ No...

 _Uncle Luke had once been quite the presence, particularly in Kylo's life; someone whom he greatly admired and looked up to as a Jedi mentor but also as a parental figure of sorts, especially when Kylo's own mother and father up and left him—at least, that's how_ he _saw the matter._

_Upon laying eyes on his uncle for the first time since he was a teenager, Kylo was admittedly taken aback by how hollow Uncle Luke appeared. His eyes were devoid of much of their former brilliance. There was a heaviness in their stead, a deep-rooted sadness, and also an unfamiliarity that Kylo couldn't pinpoint._

_Still, he partly understood the Jedi's despondency, and yet, he wasn't ready to face_ that _sobering basis either._ No...

_Kylo blinked, temporarily startled out of his musings. He hadn't thought on Uncle Luke or his childhood in years, and yet, small, fragile fragments of it were coming back to him, flashing before his eyes like faceless thieves in the night._

_Life had been tormenting, confounding, and utterly broken back then. During what should have been the most carefree days of his life, Kylo had spent the majority of his childhood grappling the Darkness alone, all whilst watching the disintegration of his parents' tumultuous marriage. Neither of them had understood their only son—or the overwhelming, negative energy that pursued and haunted him daily starting from when he was a mere five-years old—which didn't make any of their lives easier to bear. His father was absent half of the time and unable to connect to Kylo when he_ was _around, whilst his mother, to her credit, had tried to make better sense of his troubles; but, ultimately, they had given up and sent him away._

_Kylo never fathomed he would return to this remote place, where he had once resided (somewhat) comfortably alongside Uncle Luke, though the scenery had been much different then. There had been a grand temple and multiple huts constructed from the local stone. Now there was only one, and the temple was gone._

_Had Kylo been gifted with the knowledge of foresight, he would have spared his uncle any of his painstaking efforts to tame the then-boy's Dark Side sensitivities. After all, as Snoke had so fondly been reminding Kylo since he was young, he was a man 'destined for Darkness'. His uncle, as skilled a Jedi as he was, would prove no match for snuffing it out of him. The Darkness had claimed Kylo Ren's soul long before he arrived at his uncle's Jedi Academy._ Long before Mum and Dad sent me away... Long before they ever tried to stop it...

_Kylo shivered again. His smarts told him to return to the hut at once, but he couldn't bring himself to be around certain company—well, one far more than the other. Gazing upon Uncle Luke was agonising enough, but the girl was a whole other matter entirely._

Rey. _He had finally learned her name; he had never cared to know it before._ But now... _Her Force powers were remarkably strong, and even greater than when Kylo had first tested their endurance on Starkiller base. Snoke would not be pleased to learn of this development, particularly on top of discovering with whom she was engaging in such impressive skill work._

 _Kylo had noted Rey's improved Force strength during their second duel on the island and thirdly only earlier that day in the midst of their channelling exercise. The girl's Light—_ Her Light... _—had been overpowering to behold, its rays near blinding Kylo's eyes and causing them to water and sting. He was never more grateful to be donning a mask than during that ridiculous drill, for the last thing he desired was for that wretched Padawan to glimpse actual tears streaming down his face; tears that he felt utterly helpless to control._

It was the luminosity! _he emphasised, feeling his Darkness twist and curl in abhorrence to his earlier reaction to the Light._ It was simply too bright! That's all!

 _Then why had it been so damn affecting? Even now, it felt as though the remnants of that Light were burning holes in his retinas. His eyes prickled and hurt—_ Her Light... _—clouding and obstructing his vision._

It's the fucking wind, Kylo!

_Claiming defeat (to the blasted wind, that was), Kylo growled lowly, spun around, and stomped back towards the stone hut, carrying his mask under his arm. The rising chimney smoke and warm lights flickering from within served as necessary beacons in the darkness and Kylo shoved the negative energy forcefully from his side, feeling the sudden urge to outrun it in as far as his legs might carry him. He picked up his pace and sprinted through the front door, gasping as he entered the plain, yet comfy, establishment that had become as much of a sanctuary as a hindrance over the past forty-eight hours._

_Master Luke and Rey were present, sitting on the floor in front of the small wooden table per usual, though evidently not conversing with one another. Both sets of eyes glanced up at him curiously but offered no warm welcome; not that he would have expected it._ Especially from _her, he hissed in passing, gathering his cool and stalking towards the spare bedroom._

 _"Just where do you think_ you _'re going?" came that scathing voice of hers that stopped Kylo in his tracks._

_"To bed," he ground out between clenched teeth, keeping his back to Rey and Master Luke._

_"Now?" Master Luke gestured to his apprentice to let Kylo be, but Rey wasn't interested in abiding her teacher's wishes; it was all highly suspicious. "We haven't even had supper yet." She eyed him up and down with overt mistrust, though he wouldn't so much as budge or rise to her goading._

_"I'm. Not. Hungry."_

_"Won't you at least warm yourself by the fire?" Master Luke beckoned him, sounding far more sincere and hospitable. "You're shivering, Ben."_

_Kylo looked down in stunned silence, realising he_ was _indeed quivering from head to toe and quite noticeably, too. He made to still the tremors convulsing through his body by centring himself but the shakes proved rather persistent. He really had spent far too much time in the chilly outdoors._

 _Whilst warming himself by the fire might have been perfectly suitable, Kylo refused to cave into anymore of Master Luke's gentle attempts at coaxing him to lay down his guard. He and the girl obviously didn't trust him—_ Especially the girl! _—so why should he foolishly open himself up to more of their provocations?_ You know why you have to open up _, the sensible part of his mind argued, prompting Kylo to fist his hands and take several deep breaths. "I'm fine," he muttered._

_He ignored Rey's follow up remark, brushed past the curtain, and disappeared from view. Rey had shot to her feet as he left._

_"Off to inform your homicidal leader that you found us," she was shouting after his retreating silhouette, "or did you already do that earlier whilst you were alone? No matter! We'll be ready!" She threw herself back on the floor and huffed, crossing her arms over her chest._

_"Rey..."_

_Rey turned to her passive instructor, unable to maintain her cool. "You may be content to let that perpetrator do whatever he wants with us, Master, but_ I _'m not going to sit around and wait for him to strike!"_

_"Rey—"_

_"He's up to something, Master! I know it! If you would just listen—"_

_"No,_ you _listen, my young Padawan!_ You _!" Rey quieted under Master Luke's unexpected acerbic tone; he had also lunged forward on the ground and was pointing his mechanical finger at her. Surprised by his own emotional outburst, Master Luke took a moment to collect himself before addressing Rey again with more patience. "I know you don't trust him, Rey—you have your reasons, no doubt, as do I—but your anger is grossly clouding you from the awareness of just how tremendous a feat it is that Ben's even here!"_

_Rey's brow furrowed. As far as she could surmise, Kylo hadn't done a ruddy thing yet to warrant Master Luke's praise. What exactly had he accomplished that should be earning him an ounce of either of their trust?_

_As if sensing her internal conflict, Master Luke pressed Rey at a gentler level, "He came when I called him, didn't kill you yesterday at the top of the hill, and dropped all of his defences. He's had ample opportunities to strike us again and again and he hasn't done so. He's become stunted; unable to accomplish what, for the Dark Side, is too often clear cut and simple. He's changing."_

_"Oh, yes," Rey laughed off with a dramatic roll of her eyes, "cheers to the man, who tried to kill me once before, for not killing me a second time! Bravo!"_

_Master Luke brought his lips tightly together and shot his apprentice an acute glare rarely bestowed on others. Rey went silent, blushing, and awaited the Jedi's next words, though not with any grain of eagerness._

_"Your animosity and hatred will be your undoing, Rey. I'm warning you, if you're not careful, you're going to wind up just like the person you most despise: that broken man two rooms over." Rey felt her throat drop into her stomach, not only at the unsettling notion that she could fall prey to the Dark Side, as Master Luke had put to her more than once now, but also that he had the audacity to compare her to Kylo Ren at all. She opened her mouth to retort, but Master Luke kept her from contesting his soul-searching remarks by raising his mechanical hand in the air. "Don't claim to know the Dark Side as I do, my naïve Padawan, because you don't know it as I do. You haven't the wisdom yet to stake the claims of which you speak._

_"You didn't witness the horrors of what the Darkness did to my nephew; how it robbed Ben of all good sense, of his gentle demeanour, of his capacity to love, of his very soul! He had warmth and compassion and a bright future before all this. Oh, yes. You may shake your head all you like, but I've seen it! You've glimpsed only what the Darkness has claimed over him; the aftermath of all its suffering, treachery, and deceit._

_"That could very well be_ you _, Rey. Make no mistake: you're as susceptible to the Dark Side as any inherently good person in this world, including my fallen nephew."_

_Finishing his tirade with a long-winded sigh, Master Luke looked away from Rey, who had all but sunk into the dirt floor beside him. She had reared back as he spoke with such off-colour passion and a certain authority, soaking in every word and finding it a touch too disconcerting._

_Between their bewildering exchange during their channelling exercise, Master Luke's definitive statements about Kylo's desperate yearning for the Light, and his brutally straightforward commentary this evening, Rey's mind was spinning too rapidly for her emotions to keep pace. As much as she wanted to believe in everything her wise teacher was telling her, she still couldn't grasp his unyielding faith in his cold-blooded nephew or the fact that he was, in fact, 'changed'. Kylo Ren may very well want to be a good man going forward, but, to Rey, he was still a killer, still with the First Order, and still an unstable, mistrustful man who carried his own warped agenda._

_The subsequent silence became too stifling for Rey, so she quietly excused herself and bolted for her bedroom, where she easily collapsed onto her mattress, absentmindedly toed off her boots and pulled her knees to her chest. She was no longer hungry or desired anyone's company but her own, and, thus, she rocked back and forth, thinking, considering, analysing everything she knew from her own observations of the exasperating puzzle that was Kylo Ren to the umpteenth degree; but she wound up no closer to a clarification._

_After a half hour or so of intense contemplation, Rey groaned in defeat and plopped down sidelong on her mattress. Her mind was terribly overworked from today, and it vexed her deeply that Kylo Ren had occupied so much of her thoughts. She shut her eyes and tried to focus on her meditation, concentrating on each slow, even breath her lungs absorbed. It was going to be another rough night, though, she determined soon thereafter._

_Despite spending every waking moment on a secluded island for many months, with only Master Luke for company, Rey hadn't mastered the art of sleeping yet—at least, not on any sort of consistent, beneficial basis. Too many nights, the restless scavenger in her had tossed and turned about as she had since she was a little girl, unable to shut her mind down and fully rest. Sleep was an allusion; it had been for as long as she could remember._

_Thinking on_ that _misfortune only served to bring Rey's mind back to that malignant interrogation with Kylo Ren when he had taken her hostage. Before Rey could stop him once more from consuming her waking thoughts, Kylo's unpleasant words had slithered through the weakened cracks in her conscience, repeating to her over and over again as if she hadn't already committed them to memory._

_"At night, desperate to sleep..."_

_"You'd imagine an ocean..."_

_"So lonely... So afraid to leave..."_

_Rey squeezed her eyes shut tighter in the hopes of blocking out Kylo and his resounding words. She had exhausted the day thinking about him; she wasn't about to allow him to devour her much-needed restful period as well._

_'Need some help?'_

_Rey's eyes flew open. That confident, unnerving voice was no longer the result of a memory but very much present and coming from feet away, barred from her by only a thin wall. Her body coiled in on itself, shielding and cushioning against her adversary in the next room. She answered him with a defensive, snarling, 'No.'_

_'For both our sakes, you should reconsider my offer.'_

_'I want nothing from you!'_

_He sighed in annoyance. 'The feeling's mutual. It's simple meditation, though, and we'd both benefit from it if you'd just let me in.'_

_Rey snorted, insulted. 'Fat chance! What do you take me for?'_

_'Someone who's so damn headstrong that she'll keep herself_ and _the man she despises awake for the rest of the night just to spite herself.'_

_'And with good reason!'_

_'You've got me there.' A short pause later, 'But unless you'd prefer to have me stuck in your head and aggravating you for the next several hours...'_

_Pondering_ that _possibility for only a matter of seconds was more than enough, and Rey bit down hard on her tongue to keep from uttering a few choice words. Instead, she projected a growl, much like a disgruntled animal, and propelled herself upright into a sitting position. She stared heatedly at the curtain to her left, waiting._

_Seconds later, Kylo drifted into her personal space, his enormously tall frame mostly engulfed in shadow. His long, angular face abhorred even the opposite of daylight: the moon and stars. That was both haunting and arresting to her, but Rey pointedly said nothing. She sensed the negative energy that accompanied him, always at his side, though it was passive and quiet for the time being._

This is a mistake _, her conscience was screaming as he carefully approached her bedside._

_Kylo halted in front of Rey, peering down at her as if he expected the skittish, yet fiercely protective girl to lash out, perhaps kick him in the shins or summon her lightsaber that he knew was conveniently stowed beneath her pillow. Determining at a glance that he was safe, Kylo slowly lowered himself to the ground, where he awkwardly crossed one long leg over the other and met Rey's wary gaze._

_At such a close distance, she could now better discern those onyx-like eyes and ambiguous, pale face. Hearing him speak in his normal register in the stillness of her room, too, would prove oddly alluring. He shifted a bit and cleared his throat first, openly displaying the same level of discomfort as Rey._

_"I won't enter your mind as... As I did before. This exercise is meant to be gradual and hypnotic; it's helped me fall asleep when I've needed an extra push."_

_Somehow, Rey deduced that Kylo didn't manage much sleep either, especially if his rather war-weary appearance was anything to go by. Kylo hesitantly reached for her but Rey instantly drew back from him and he stopped. "Why are you helping me?" she hissed through narrowed, glimmering eyes._

_"Because I have no interest in staying awake all night thanks to you."_

_Rey scrutinised him closely. "What else?" she pressed, to which he dismissed her with an impatient grunt._

_"There's nothing else."_

_"You're a liar."_

_"And you're unreasonable and pig-headed—"_

_"'_ Pig-headed _'?" she gasped._

_"—when it's completely unnecessary."_

_Rey bore her teeth. "Coming from_ you _, that's rich and I'll take it as a compliment."_

_Much to her displeasure, Kylo shrugged and showcased little reaction. "Suit yourself." Rey began grinding her teeth together, and sensing that they weren't about to reach any sort of peace offering, Kylo pressed on in haste, "Now, do you need me to call my uncle into your room to oversee what I'm about to do; or will you cut us a break and let me get on with it?"_

_"If_ you _'re involved then yes, I'd like Master Luke here."_

_Kylo's reaction was discouraging, for he smirked suggestively. "No, you don't."_

_Rey eased forward and squared her shoulders. "Don't I?"_

_"You're afraid?"_

_"Hardly."_

_"Then prove it to us both."_

_Rey's face slumped. "That's just what you'd like me to do, isn't it?" Kylo gave her a classic eye roll, enticing her anger. Aware of the growing hostility in play, for the Darkness on Kylo's end was beginning to stir, Rey reeled some of her emotions back and rubbed her hands nervously against her thighs. "Fine," she curtly acquiesced, though she still reclined backward a little when his hand extended towards her again._

_Kylo's hand lingered in mid-air, allowing Rey's body language to guide his next moves, and then, when he was certain she wasn't going to thrash him, he eased his hand forward. His bare fingertips lightly made contact with her forehead, and Rey froze. She knew the touch was his, of course—the evil First Order Commander whose hands were metaphorically soaked with the blood of the lives he had so gruesomely taken, including Han Solo's—and yet, his touch was not at all what she anticipated. Rather, his fingertips were surprisingly gentle, the act itself of stroking small circles across her brow sedating and tranquil._

_A series of soothing blues and greens emerged before Rey's sight, washing over her like a stream, starting at the top of her head and trickling down through her toes. She sunk into her mattress, heavy eyelids fluttering closed. This Light that danced around her was small and strange but magnetic, nonetheless, its calm pull easing her into a comfortable slumber she hadn't managed in many, many years._

_The last thing Rey remembered was this unfamiliar Light dousing her shoulder-length deep in a warm pool of solitude, and then everything faded to black._

 

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Rey raised a dubious eyebrow and searched her husband's weary demeanour. "And how precisely do you plan to pull that off, Ben?"

"It's a thought that only recently came to me, Rey," he snipped in return, shooing away her concerns with a small huff.

"But if we take your ship, you'll surely be blamed for our escape—"

"Not if I play my cards right."

Rey reared back, her worries mounting. "Ben..."

"The particulars will be dealt with. Don't worry, would you? We need to see to getting you and the kids there as discretely as possible."

"We'll manage."

"It's not going to be easy..."

Rey's warm, humoured smile, brief as it was, not only consoled some of Ben's stricken nerves but seemed to lessen the tension around them. Her hand roped tighter around his arm, tugging him closer to her as well. "When have things _ever_ been a breeze for us?"

"Point taken," Ben returned, and Rey noted the faint amusement in that reply.

A serious frown soon replaced her endearing smile. "You're not well," she whispered, perceiving the twinge of uneasiness that stirred upon the face concealed beneath the mask.

"I told you, Rey, _I'm fine_."

"When was the last time you slept?" she pressed him collectedly.

"Recently."

Rey's hazel eyes became sad. "You're lying to me."

"When did _you_ last sleep?"

His questioning came across as aggressive and clipped, but Rey remained calm for both their sakes. "I slept off and on over the past twenty-four hours. Not much else to do in here when you're waiting around to be rescued." She added gently, placing a comforting hand on his chest, "And I don't mean it like _that_."

"I know," said Ben, letting forth a weighty sigh that sounded considerably tired and distressed.

Suddenly, Rey turned her attention to the wall. There was nothing there to draw her eyes away from him, but Ben followed the trail of his wife's troubled gaze, sensing, too, the dreaded feelings now racing through her. The hairs on the back of his neck rose to attention whilst visible goosebumps broke out on Rey's flesh.

Both turned back to each other, and the alarm materialising on Rey's face mirrored Ben's covered anxiety. He broke away from her first, whipping around and heading for the locked door, stating as he went, "I'll see what's going on." He wanted to alleviate the state of worry she carried but couldn't keep the quiver out of his own voice. Rey's shaken expression was stuck in Ben's mind as he exited her cell and made for the children's chambers next to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N #2 : Thank you to those who review and offer kudos. It's what keeps this story going...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Hello! *echo, echo***
> 
> **UPDATE 12/19/2017 - As some readers here may know, I stopped posting updates to this story on AO3 roughly a year ago due to a severe lack of comments, which I also took as a lack of interest. After some heavy consideration, in which I've gone back and forth exhaustively, I've decided to continue the Solo family saga on this archive again...for now. Please bear in mind that it's a _lot_ of work to format each chapter here in addition to FFN (where, FYI, you can read ahead if you'd like, as there are, at present, at least _ten_ more chapters to gobble up!), so this is to 'test the waters', if you will. If it turns out that there's still little, if any, interest in this fic here, I'll probably just continue the story on one archive (FFN) in the future, as I had been doing, to make matters easier on myself. **
> 
> **But for now, here's an update! (And this chapter replaces the previous announcement I had originally posted, so if you'd like to comment on Chapter 10, I'd greatly appreciate it).**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

 

 

 

**Chapter 10**

_"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."_  
—Francis Bacon

_Ben turned over the rustic, crushed cube cradled between his tiny fingers, wondrous, chocolate-coloured irises hungrily examining its fractured hardwires and gaping holes. They shouldn't have been there but, to the elated boy, its imperfections mattered not. An adult would have easily discarded it as a piece of metal garbage unearthed from the local trash compactor; to Ben Solo, it was a unique and utterly captivating device to add to his growing collection of rare gadgets that spanned the farthest reaches of the galaxy._

_"It belonged to a Jedi once," his mother informed him proudly as she placed it in her son's inquisitive hands, smiling at his bouncy delight. "Be mindful with it, Ben, all right? Holocrons are extremely rare and we wouldn't want it to go missing."_

_"Yes, Mummy!'" He crinkled his nose the longer he inspected it, which was only a matter of moments. "What does it do again?"_

_"A Jedi uses this to guard his secrets and also to document teachings of the Force."_

_Ben's eyes glimmered up at Leia, awakening at that powerful last word. "Really?" he murmured, his mouth hanging open._

_Leia shared in her son's enthusiasm. "Yes! Your uncle has one, of course, and we knew you wanted one, too, so your father acquired this old model. It no longer works, I'm afraid, but we thought you'd still like to have it as an early birthday present?"_

_Ben's eyes livened like two illuminated beams. "Can I, Mummy?"_

_"Of course, sweetheart!" Leia pulled Ben into a tight hug, pressing him warmly to her chest._

_When Ben pulled away from their embrace, he was no longer beaming up at her but frowning, looking suddenly forlorn. "When's Daddy coming home?" he asked in a pain-filled whisper._

_Ben didn't miss the slip of his mother's smile before it forcefully returned to her pretty face. "Soon, Ben. Very soon."_

_Ben lowered his gaze and pushed out his bottom lip. "You said that last week...and the week before that..."_

_"Ben," Leia interrupted him, gently nudging the sullen boy towards the duracrete staircase off of the kitchen, "why don't you run along upstairs and play 'till the droid finishes with supper? It won't be long."_

_"Fine..." Ben slumped his shoulders but, knowing what his mother was after, he yielded to her request for solitude without complaint. He skipped off with his precious gift in hand, climbing the stairs two at a time to his cosy, darkened room on the second level, leaving Leia to herself._

_Ben relished his personal space, even as a youngster, preferring his own company to that of most others. Not that he had been afforded that many opportunities to make friends. His parents kept him rather isolated; or so it often felt. He had grown accustomed to playing alone, though, and now thought nothing of it. Besides, his parents were so busy with their day to day 'adult' affairs to invest in random child play, so the only other individual Ben really engaged with was Chewie...when he was around._

_Ben threw himself down on the fluffy shag carpet in the middle of his room, spreading himself out amongst a few of his favourite trinkets; but he ignored the others that were scattered about the floor in favour of the precious, defunct Holocron, sifting over its corroded crystallised design with glee._

_He had been begging for one of these for what felt like an eternity, but his father hadn't seemed all that confident in obtaining one whenever he had asked. Ben believed in him, though, especially with the added encouragements that came from Chewie. He couldn't believe the two had finally snagged one for him, and he hoped they would be along soon so that he could thank them properly for his one-of-a-kind gift. Maybe the Wookie could help him to polish and fix it up whenever he and his father returned from their latest 'smuggling' adventure, whatever that was. They never elaborated on their dealings to Ben, but they always returned with such brilliant finds, most of which left Ben green with envy. He wished he could join them on one of their trips, but his mother adamantly refused whenever Ben asked. She was never impressed with whatever his father and Chewie brought home with them either, though Ben didn't understand why._

_His mother was another puzzle Ben admired but didn't quite get, beautiful and kind-hearted and openly brazen in her points of view. He knew she was descended from royalty, except that she didn't permit anyone to call her 'princess' anymore, including him. That, too, didn't make sense to Ben. She regularly led missions for the Resistance against the growing First Order that now threatened the galaxy, and that meant that Ben spent a great deal of time aboard various freighters. He wished he could fly with his father and Chewie on occasion, but his mother rarely allowed it._

_As much as Ben wanted to focus on his new present, his heart was no longer in it. His shaggy hair draped forward into his eyes, half masking the sudden pang of despair. He missed his father and he missed the Wookie. It had been ages since he had last seen them, and he pined for helping them fix broken parts of the Falcon or being allowed to tinker with their latest purchases from their exotic travels._

_With a frown that echoed well beyond his years, Ben placed the Holocron on the floor and sighed. The atmosphere was silent save for the occasional humming of the droid and his mother downstairs, and Ben found his mind easily wandering as he listened to their soothing, familiar voices._

_Then another noise erupted, this one far louder and completely unexpected. The clamorous rumbling of a ship descending towards the ground, as well as the obnoxiously bright lights that filtered into Ben's bedroom between the blinds on his windows, made him shield his eyes; but then they lit up with suspense._

_In a rush, Ben scurried to his feet and over to one of the windows, hoping to confirm with his own eyes what might very well be the welcoming visit from two people he had been longing to see. The boy's wishes were granted. His father, Han Solo, wearing his signature scruffy beard, greying hair and worn, leather jacket, came parading down the plank of the Falcon. The engine was still running, but he yelled instructions to Chewie, still seated at the cockpit, over his shoulder anyhow. He stopped short of stepping off the ship entirely when Ben's mother suddenly barrelled into view, and that's when Ben's hopes were milled like escaping sand between his fingers._

_Leia stormed over to her husband and descended on him in what Ben had come to regard as her usual fiery tirade, berating him for what the boy knew not. Her arms flailed in the air as she screamed and Han shouted right back at her, evidently countering whatever she was accusing him of. Tears were soon trickling down her flushed cheeks, but their shouting match carried on, both adults oblivious to their son watching from the second-story window._

_Dismayed, but unsurprised, Ben sunk against the window pane and stared on. It was a well-recognised, ugly display that the five-year old had witnessed too many times before. He was grateful the Falcon's engine was so deafening, for he really didn't wish to overhear whatever hurtful words were being sparred back and forth between them._

_Ben's lower lip quivered the longer he observed their passionate quarrel outside the house. He prayed they would stop soon. Why did they have to fight all the time? Were all mummies and daddies like this, greeting one another with spiteful words and leaving each other on tearful, angry farewells?_

Make it stop _, he pleaded, closing his eyes to shield his sight from their awful, contorted faces._ Make them stop...

_A flicker of crimson light—blood red—suddenly flashed across his eyes, startling Ben from his gloomy inner musings. He wasn't sure what compelled him to turn around, but he acted on instinct, spinning around so fast that he staggered sideways and almost lost his balance. His eyes were wide open as he sought the red, flickering lights he had merely glimpsed behind closed eyelids. It was then that he realised that they appeared to be coming from the Holocron lying stagnant on the floor._

_Timid and confused, Ben inched closer to the flashing, broken cube. Hadn't his mother told him that it no longer worked? It certainly looked faulty. There should be no reason that the crystallised design should blink red._

_Ben wrinkled his nose._ Shouldn't it be blue? That's what Uncle Luke's does when it lights up...

_A shiver tore down Ben's spine. The temperature had dropped by ten to twenty degrees. Why was his bedroom so cold all of a sudden? He roped his tiny arms around himself, shuddering and trying to keep his teeth from clattering._

_The strange new energy, unsettling and ambiguous in nature, extended its reach, beckoning the boy to it like the tantalising curl of a finger. Ben angled his head and braved another step closer to the Holocron, which still blinked madly upon the ground._

_Just as he considered bending forward to touch it, an airy hiss stopped him midway. 'Ben...'_

_Ben froze. It was a voice he didn't know—not by name, anyhow—male, low and aged, with a languid drawl that was older than any wise man he had ever encountered; as ancient as the one thousand-year old trees that rustled their leaves beyond his window._

_Had he imagined it? What was this peculiar, seductive energy that so deeply spoke to him? It had awakened something within him; something he couldn't yet pinpoint or put to name. Was this energy and that voice one and the same?_

_Then he heard the voice again and his fears were somehow, though unexplained, confirmed by its spooky address. 'Ben...'_

_Ben's small muscles tensed. He wanted to run; he wanted to scream; he wanted to cry for his parents outside, though they wouldn't have heard him even if he had tried, what with the Falcon's engine resounding and shaking the ground beneath his feet._

_Stranded, Ben waited, petrified with fear. He held his breath, unable to cry out; or to run._

_'My poor, little prince,' the voice spoke to him once more, using a luring air of affection Ben had never heard before, 'I can make it stop. I can make it better for you; better than you ever could have dreamed...'_

_"You - You can?" the boy barely got out, for his mouth had gone dry. He gaped at the Holocron, transfixed by its pull._

_'Oh, yes. If you trust in me, Ben, we can do extraordinary things...'_

_Ben stared at the Holocron from whence the voice seemed to have spoken, half memorised, half terror-stricken. "Who - Who are you?" he chanced asking and the energy at once swelled, invisible fingers ghosting through his tousled hair and along his large, rounded ears. He shied away from its unusual, cold touch, though the gesture had piqued his interest._

_'Patience, my little prince,' it insisted to him, enticing the boy closer with every soft-spoken word. 'All in good time. Now, tell me, what would you like to play?'_

 

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Ben's gloved hand grazed over his son's secured durasteel door, pausing in order to detect anything sinister coming from within. Relief poured over his too-taut shoulders a moment later at the confirmation that Han's cell was empty of anything save for the boy himself.

In haste, Ben carried on. His mental shields were raised before he had so much as swept in front of his daughters' doors next, however. Amidala's was nearest to him, and the grim, negative energy he sensed churning inside made him sick with dread. With torn reluctance, he pressed a hand to her door as well to pass on the same telepathic message he had conveyed to Han a moment ago: _'It's Dad. Hang on. I'll be there soon.'_

To his conflicted conscience—and pounding, worried heart—he felt he possessed little choice in rushing to Astrid's aid first. _She's the youngest_ , he reminded himself and, as such, she was entirely bereft of any experience in confronting the nasty energy that apparently was penetrating her cell. _Hurry. Move fast. Don't let Snoke detect a damned thing._

Ben stalked to Astrid's door and unlocked it by way of a security code, which he knew would alert personnel that he was here. He was rather surprised no one had turned up already. Wasting no time, however, he rushed inside.

The eerie silence that greeted his ears upon entering disintegrated as soon as the door slammed behind him. Astrid was in the left-hand corner of the room, curled up in a foetal position on a bench. To his horror, she was clawing at her little face, already splotched and stained with tears, and internally begging—screaming—to be left alone; but it wasn't Ben she was beseeching to let her be.

With what little time had been afforded him, Ben had tried to ready himself for this, but, now that he was looking upon Astrid, any mental preparations proved utterly futile. There was no way for one to compose themselves for witnessing their innocent child being so senselessly and viciously assaulted by a dangerous invisible entity.

A protective, rage-filled energy—grey but remarkably strong—tore through the atmosphere, spreading to every corner of the room, except for where Astrid lay. The Darkness spun about in time, detecting Ben's wild, elusive energy, and immediately surrounded Astrid as though she were its prey, growling possessively over the girl whilst she trembled and whimpered in fear. She was hardly aware of her father's presence, too consumed by the unspeakable pain ravaging through her mind and small body to make sense of anything else that was in play.

Ben lashed out, throwing his arm into the air as he imparted his Force-sensitive energy to work on his behalf. He tried to reel back the rage, wanting to purposely keep his response neutral but, by the same token, aggressive. His aim was simply to get the Darkness to back off long enough that he might overrun Astrid.

Predictably, it didn't retreat at his advance but fought back, snarling and pawing at Ben's energy to either withdrawal or bow in compliance. _'You're no match for me!'_ it hissed with malicious mirth, taunting Ben's buffer-seeking aim.

Ben knew better than to respond. The Darkness would recognise his voice, if not his energy were he to truly unleash it. If there was to be minimal damage in this off-the-cuff scheme, he would need to act fast.

His energy coiled and snarled in return, flashes of blazing pink and orange seeping through the grey before hastily receding at Ben's command. He was hoping to draw the Darkness' curiosity away from Astrid, but all it did was provoke the negative energy's ire, forcing a less desired, impromptu attack to quickly build and take shape in Ben's mind.

Knowing he had no more time to spare, Ben thrust forward with all his might, summoning as much power as he could wield, and clawed at the Darkness. It growled ferociously and struck him with a power and strength that left him breathless and shaken. His boots skidded backward against the floor, as if by some untraceable force, but Ben made to strike at it however he could.

Suddenly, the Darkness yanked at Ben's grip, physically jerking him forward, and he lost the feeble hold he had briefly held. Instantly, he sought what was far most important: Astrid. He dove into her mind, ramming the Darkness backward with another Force-sensitive jab, and then another and another. It wilfully retreated to avoid Ben's clutches until it had nowhere to go but outside of her body.

Ben made his last ditch effort to rid Astrid of the Darkness' presence. His upper lip curled backward, revealing pointed teeth, and the muscles in his jaw visibly clenched like fists. His gloved fingers twisted, opening and closing, as his energy shoved and ripped at whatever of the Darkness he could injure. It dodged his efforts but reacted with shock at his level of advancement. It didn't wrestle back for dominance but, instead, made for its escape, vanishing out of the room without leaving a trace of its presence, save for Astrid's afflicted state.

At last, Ben lowered his defenses, his towering figure shaking like a leaf where he stood, on edge and angst-ridden. After ensuring that the Darkness was, in fact, gone, he sprinted to Astrid's side, dropped to the floor, and gathered her trembling form against his chest, swaddling her to him as much as humanly possible. He was unaware of his own quivering arms that had trouble keeping their grip steady on the girl.

Astrid was unresponsive. Noting her perspiration, Ben hastily unravelled a bit of his tattered scarf from around his neck and pressed the soft material to her forehead. " _Astrid_!" he breathed, his voice jittery from behind the vocal contraption of his mask. "Astrid, can you hear me? It's Daddy. _Astrid, please_! C'mon, it's all right. You're all right now."

When she still didn't respond to his voice or to his touch, Ben cupped her right cheek with his hand and began to meditate, rocking them back and forth. He needed to enter her mind to assess the damage, and also to (hopefully) bring her round.

Unsurprisingly, he was able to penetrate her mind with remarkable ease. On the surface, there appeared to be nothing but vapour and shadow. His heart pumped with furious determination as he desperately scoured the dense, dour landscape of her mind, unable to locate remnants of her within reach. "Astrid," he pleaded over and over again to what felt like empty air, searching for some sign of life behind her closed eyelids. "Astrid, it's Daddy. It's all right now. Please... Come back to me..."

It felt like an eternity that Ben tended to Astrid's assaulted mind, delicately peeling back layer upon layer of what he could only pray were her short-fused defence mechanisms. Had she retreated too far into herself to find her way back? He wanted to believe his littlest was that clever, but his heavy heart was quickly being forced to presume otherwise. She was simply too young to know how to shield her mind from Darkness yet; too small and too innocent to fight off someone of Snoke's unbeatable calibre.

She hadn't even begun to show signs of possessing Force sensitivities. Yet, somehow, Snoke had known. How had that bastard found out before he did? Ben clenched his hands as he stalked onward through mist and gripping darkness. How had that horrid, evil louse uncovered his daughter's precious gifts well before her own father or mother had sensed them?

 _Easily. You're no match for him, Ben_ , his conscience painfully reminded him. _Your own mother and father didn't sense your gifts before Snoke had already lured you to his side. Why should he not sense your own children's Force sensitives before you or Rey figured them out? He's destined to outwit you every damn time._

That nauseating, helpless notion filled Ben with fury and an even greater commitment to finding his daughter. If her mind really had withered to ash, he would pursue whatever was left to every last hidden corner it might seek shelter. He loathed knowing how profoundly he had failed her against Snoke, and, if taking the time to find Astrid again meant being discovered by the enemy cradling his daughter in his arms in the corner of her cell then so be it. He had already entered Rey's cell not long before, so it was only a matter of moments before personnel arrived on the scene. No one knew 'Kylo Ren' was down here.

" _Astrid, please_... Please, come back to me," Ben begged, feeling his voice falter the deeper he plunged and received no response. "I promise I'll protect you. I won't let him touch you ever again. Never, ever. Please… _my little star_... Please..."

Just as he was beginning to run out of steam, he heard the faintest echo trickle forth from somewhere beyond his sight. It was so feeble he almost missed it. "Daddy?"

Ben's heart catapulted into his throat. He hastened his pace backwards at once. "Yes, Astrid! Yes, it's me! Come! _Please_!"

"Daddy?" Astrid repeated, seeking, roaming, her voice gaining strength.

"Yes, my little star! Yes! Follow my voice! Come back to me!"

"Where are you?"

"I'm here, little star. I'm here. Come."

Ben eased out of Astrid's mind as generously as he had entered, unmindful of holding his breath as he stared down at the girl's still unresponsive form. Her doll-like face was ashen and still, though her trembling had dulled and her eyelids had begun to flutter.

" _Astrid_ ," Ben called to her with more urgency; he patted her cheek and his hold around her tightened, "it's all right. Wake up, Astrid. _Wake up now_."

Finally, Astrid's eyelids rolled back, revealing disoriented but familiar, big hazel irises. Ben let forth several shuddering breaths as he watched her come to. "Astrid!" he kept repeating her name, hoping she would recognise him before long. "Astrid, can you hear me? It's me, little star. _I'm here_."

Astrid's eyes slowly honed in on the fractured metal mask in front of her, morphing from confusion to terror in a flash; but then, just as surely, she recognised the covert ensemble Ben was wearing, as well as his erratic breathing, and she strained to speak his name, "Da - Daddy?"

Her voice was weak and hoarse but her own, and the ball of tension throughout Ben's body convulsed with relief. "Hi, little star." To keep from breaking down, he hurriedly pressed her to his chest. His mask was the only blasted barrier preventing him from kissing every inch of her face as he would have liked, and he despised having to keep it in place, but he resolved to at least hug his daughter as securely as he could. "It's over, Astrid," he managed to convey once he felt in better control of his emotions. "It's over now, I promise. I'm so sorry..."

"Da - Daddy, wh - what was th - that?"

"Somebody very bad, little star." He coiled his arms tighter still around her petite frame, letting her whimper into his chest. "Somebody who had no right to be anywhere near you."

Small fingers clutched and tugged at Ben's clothes. "He - He spoke to me, Daddy," Astrid whined. "He - He was asking me things... He - He wanted to - to know..."

"Hush, little star." He pressed his mask to one side of her face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Do - Don't let him—"

"I'll _never_ let that heathen anywhere near you again, all right?" he snarled possessively, holding her to him with all his might. "You have my word."

Astrid's soft cries and sniffles slowly subsided. Eventually, Ben was able to pull himself away from her in order to peer down into her face, disheartened by what he saw. She had ceased crying but was visibly—and understandably—shaken and still in great distress. He wiped at a few tears cascading down her rose-tinted cheeks. Her lower lip trembled at his consoling touch.

Reading the unspoken terror in her eyes, he leaned closer to say something else when he felt the will of the Force drawing near, and not the positive sort. He flinched and shot to his feet just as the durasteel door flung wide. Two Stormtroopers, headed by an officer wearing a dark uniform, marched in, angling their heads at finding their lead commander unexpectedly in the room.

"Sir," the young male officer spoke up, eying Ben over with heavy suspicion, "we were told of a disturbance down here in cellblocks seventeen and twenty."

"As you can see, I'm in the midst of an interrogation!" Ben hissed back, hoping to keep them from dawdling.

The officer took a brief moment to scan Astrid on the floor, who was shaking again and trying to hide her face. Ben, sensing his daughter wanting to inch closer to him, wordlessly warned her not to by pushing her back a little by way of his energy. Luckily, that small nudge transmitted the message and she obeyed, though not without whimpering aloud.

"I wasn't aware of such orders from General Hux," said the officer, sounding both dubious and perplexed.

"Because they did not come from him," Ben didn't hesitate to correct the naïve fool. He whirled around, tugged Astrid effortlessly to her feet and hated how she yelped at his forced aggression, and took decisive steps closer to the officer, who swerved backward to avoid being trampled on. The accompanying troopers did likewise. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get on with this before the Supreme Leader arrives."

"What could the girl possibly have to offer?"

Although the officer couldn't glimpse Ben's glare, he could certainly sense it by his exceedingly acerbic tone. "Information," he clipped, and the officer cocked his head sideways, evidently not following.

"'Information'?" he repeated. "About what?"

"About the _mother_ , you idiot."

That finally shut the officer up. He gave a nervous twitch and nodded accordingly, though, when Ben brushed past him with Astrid, intending to remove her from her cell, he scurried after the lead commander, the Stormtroopers following closely at his heel. "Sir," he called after Ben, huffing to keep up, "where are you taking her?"

"To her mother's cell."

" _Whatever for_?"

Ben rounded on the officer so fast that he tripped into one of the troopers, who prevented the poor lad from landing arse over elbow. Ben kept his temperament at bay, but only for his daughter's sake, who was watching these befuddling events unfold without comprehension, as he growled through a tight grimace, "To see what her mother will give up once she sees what I've done to this one." He paused, allowing the officer to regather his wits. " _Anything else_?" he prodded with the utmost disdain and the officer shrunk into himself.

"No, sir."

"Then you may report back to General Hux, if you feel so inclined."

The officer scampered off without delay, and the troopers smartly trailed after him. Ben wasted no time opening Rey's cell and dragging Astrid inside with him. He instantly let go of her tiny arm, allowing the distraught girl to run to her mother with frantic, outstretched arms.

" _Mummy_!" she cried, bursting into tears all over again.

Rey, who was seated cross-legged on the floor, bolted onto her knees to receive Astrid immediately into her fold. She stared at Ben, bewildered and concerned, and made to stand up with Astrid safely in tow, though she was further dismayed when Ben wouldn't move closer to them but remained rooted rigidly by the door. "I've tried to reach Ami several times but she won't answer me. What's going on, Ben?" she demanded, feeling her nerves rise when Ben was mute. "Ben, what is it?" she pressed, her heart rate accelerating.

"He knows," came his gradual reply and the steadiness of his voice broke as he explained quietly, "Astrid, she... She's Force-sensitive...and he knows..."

Rey placed a protective hand across the back of Astrid's head as the girl continued to softly weep into her shoulder. Rey's brown eyes, large and stricken, peered up into Ben's mask, and what little colour she had drained from her face. "You're certain?" she questioned through a quivering breath.

Ben slowly confirmed the dreadful news with a defeated-sounding, "Yes."

Rey's panic intensified as she pressed her daughter to her bosom, wishing to console and safeguard her from further harm. "Ami... Check on Ami! And Han!" she begged.

As Ben turned to leave without issuing a word, he was abruptly caught by Rey's hand, which seized him by the arm. "Ben," she started, but the words lapsed on her tongue. She sensed the morose thoughts her husband was thinking and feeling and they were copious enough to crush her, if she wasn't careful.

"We can't protect them," he concluded heavy-handedly.

Without hesitation, Rey lashed out. " _Don't say that_!" She reached her hand around to cover one of Astrid's ears, her understanding countenance turning to a fierce glare. "We _can_ and we _will_!"

"I'm sorry, Rey..." One of his hands extended to delicately coast along Astrid's back; Rey was brought up short by his dejected, too quiet words. "I'm so sorry..."

"Ben, don't—"

"I'll check on the others. Then I'll find you a map, retrieve your lightsabers, and we'll get you the hell out of here."

There was no cushioning to his words. No emotion, only hopelessness mixed with anguish. Rey tried calling him back again but, by then, the cell door had reopened and Ben had stepped through to the other side. He quickly disappeared, the door slammed behind him, and all turned eerily quiet, except for Astrid's muffled cries.

Rey bundled her youngest close and bound her lips together to keep her emotions in check. Now was not the time for a breakdown, she told herself. She and Ben needed to remain calm and focused if they were going to get their children out of this mess. She knew a day of reckoning was coming; a day when she would have to finally face the wretched fiend who had made it his life's mission to track her down and make her suffer for her Light. That day now felt frighteningly closer at hand than it ever had.

Still, no matter how sickened she felt at learning of Snoke's penetration into her daughter's mind—and how he might have proceeded to terrorise her—and how badly the urge remained to keep running, Rey made her best efforts to hold it together. She soothed Astrid by speaking gently to her and rocking her back and forth in her arms.

Yet, despite her best efforts, tears soon threatened Rey's eyes. If it was possible to be devastated and enraged then Rey was wrestling with both. _You'll pay for this, you monster!_ she promised her adversary, stifling the sobs manifesting at the back of her throat. _I'll make you regret the day you ever chose to go after my family!_

 

*** * * * * ***

_Rey watched the animated silhouettes of Kylo Ren and Master Luke on the horizon, gnawing at her inner cheek without awareness. It would be notable to her later—and regrettably sore—but it didn't matter now. She was tempted to walk over and eavesdrop on their conversation, though it appeared to be more of an argument than a discussion at present; but she wanted to trust in Master Luke for a change, and also in his mystifying faith in his nephew._

_That didn't mean the curiosity wasn't eating her alive, especially with Kylo waving his arms in the air and Master Luke repeatedly shaking his head. She shoved her hands beneath her buttocks, as if that small act might keep her flighty energy grounded where it was._

_After a wondrous night of rest, in which Rey could hardly remember how Kylo had hypnotised her into falling asleep, she was feeling all sorts of antsy and unsettled. For someone who barely slept a couple hours a night at a time, Rey should have felt refreshed and, under normal circumstances, she would have; but it was Kylo Ren whom she had allowed to put her under some sort of sleep meditation, and not being able to remember much of what happened was vexing her to no suitable end._

What the hell was I thinking? _she berated herself once she awoke that morning, which hadn't helped._ Do you realise what he could have done to you? How sleep deprived and dunce have you become, Rey?

...But he didn't _, the rational part of her mind countered. He didn't do anything; or so it would seem._

Or from what little you can remember of last night!

_Rey ground her teeth together and leapt up from the ground, brushing a bit of non-existent dirt off of her pants. To hell with it, she would have to intrude on them. She needed to speak to Kylo._

_As Rey stomped closer to where Kylo and Master Luke were, her ears picked up on bits and fragments of their heated conversation. As she suspected, it was most definitely a dispute._

_"Hold your tongue, Ben!" Master Luke was warning Kylo, which instantly stunned Rey. She had never heard Master Luke speak with such underlying aggression before._

_"What are you doing? What is your aim?"_

_"My aim is to teach! To prepare her for when the time comes—"_

_"Whilst lying behind her back?" Kylo challenged, shooting what Rey could only assume were daggers from behind that awful mask. "You remember how you deceived me? It didn't end well for you and your lot, did it?"_

_Master Luke's eyes withdrew, wounded by Kylo's words. "That 'lot' was yours, too, Ben. Do not seek to blame me for your past transgressions..."_

_"Consider it a fair warning, old man. You deceived me and it didn't work in your favour. What makes you so certain it will be any different with her?"_

_"Because she's not like you, Ben."_

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"Never mind," Master Luke dismissed with a burdensome sigh._

_There was a stifling pause in which Rey, herself, ceased moving. The two men still hadn't realised she had drawn so close and was listening in._

_"I burned this place to the ground once I realised your offence; how you were purposely holding me back," Kylo spoke through gritted teeth. "You never trusted me, and you never believed in me for that matter—"_

_"I_ did _believe in you, Ben—"_

_"Then why were you so afraid of me?" he exclaimed, and his voice contraption couldn't mask the blatant hurt Rey detected. It both shocked and affected her more than she realised there on the windy hillside._

_"You know why, Ben..." Master Luke conveyed sadly. "I had my reasons; we all did back then."_

_"You all marked me as doomed and unteachable from the very beginning!" he snarled._

_"That's unfair of you to say."_

_"'Unfair'?" he scoffed, the distemper Rey had heard many times over suddenly returning with a vengeance. "Unfairness is to deceive those who trust in you! Someone like_ her _! She deserves to know!"_

_"It won't do her any good," Master Luke contested, shaking his head. "It's important that she move forward with her training; not dawdle and remain stuck in the past. That was your biggest mistake, Ben. What's done is done."_

_Kylo squared his shoulders. "And you expect her to forgive you for keeping her from the truth?"_

_Master Luke didn't appear ruffled one way or the other. "Perhaps..." he offered with a shrug. "She's certainly more even-keeled than you ever were."_

_"What about me?" Rey dared to speak up and both men whipped their heads around to face her, the violent wind catching on their robes._

_"Nothing about you, Rey," Master Luke hastily tried to cover for the both of them but Kylo was already advancing towards her, his gloved hands clamped at his sides. Rey reared back but held her ground, glaring up at Kylo's mask with uncertainty._

_"Ask the Jedi you reverie about your past," Kylo suggested and Rey flinched, taken aback, "and see if he'll reveal the truth."_

_"_ Ben! _" Master Luke snapped, but Kylo turned to him defiantly before simply stalking off towards the hut._

_Master Luke and Rey locked eyes, with the younger appearing increasingly hesitant the longer her apprehensive eyes bore into his. "What about my past?" she whispered, catching the subtle twitch of Master Luke's beard. "What do you know that you aren't telling me?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N (cont.) : Thank you to those who review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Hello! *echo, echo* **
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> **UPDATE 12/19/2017 - As some readers here may know, I stopped posting updates to this story on AO3 roughly a year ago due to a severe lack of comments, which I also took as a lack of interest. After some heavy consideration, in which I've gone back and forth exhaustively, I've decided to continue the Solo family saga on this archive again...for now. Please bear in mind that it's a _lot_ of work to format each chapter here in addition to FFN (where, FYI, you can read ahead if you'd like, as there are, at present, at least _ten_ more chapters to gobble up!), so this is to 'test the waters', if you will. If it turns out that there's still little, if any, interest in this fic here, I'll probably just continue the story on one archive (FFN) in the future, as I had been doing, to make matters easier on myself.**
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> *** * * Chapter 10 was recently posted (and replaced the previous announcement that had been in place for the past year), so _please be sure to read that chapter before moving onto this one!_ * * ***
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> **Lastly, any canonical references to _The Last Jedi_ that fit into the context of this story won't appear until Chapter 20 and beyond, as that's when the film came out. This story is already very AU, and it will remain that way. Certain characters' storylines will heavily deviate from the canon material. To that end, I won't be including ANY reference to the last 30-40 minutes of _TLJ_ because, well, without giving too much away, that portion pretty much shattered me, as I always envisioned a very different pathway for Ben Solo, so another pinpoint to keep in the back of your mind as you read.**
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> **_If you're a long-time reader of this story, or new here, please take a moment to leave a comment at the end of this chapter! I'd LOVE to hear from you and to know if I still have a captivated audience for this labor of love._ **
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> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

 

**Chapter 11**

_"The means by which we achieve victory are as important as the victory itself."_  
―Brandon Sanderson

**Five Years Earlier**

**(D'Qar, Resistance Headquarters)**

Ben's large hand tugged at one of Rey's hunched, trembling shoulders, coaxing her to turn around and face him, though she wasn't particularly keen on doing so. She had been trying unsuccessfully to disguise her tears during this rather drawn out strategic meeting of the Resistance, and yet, she still wound up excusing herself more than halfway through their latest conference.

She hadn't wanted to, of course, but, once Ben began disclosing recent intelligence he had uncovered pertaining to the Proclamation's latest schemes to scout the outer rims for the location of a second Starkiller base, intending to add to their growing influence across the galaxy, Rey knew she wouldn't be able to listen in for long. _You're hormonal_ , she told herself as she guardedly wiped at the tears quickly coming to fruition in her eyes. She was six months pregnant, after all. Shouldn't she be permitted the occasional emotional breakdown?

 _Not likely_ , she groaned as her watery irises unexpectedly met a one-time close friend's who was seated across the room. _Finn_. The man's normally charming brown eyes weren't cordial at all as they honed in on her. Rey felt increasingly uncomfortable the longer she sat there, not desiring to listen to Ben's report but also not wishing to be subjected to Finn's unfriendly glare either. She tried lowering her gaze to the ground and focusing on different objects scattered throughout the circular room, but her mood didn't improve.

After all, hers and Finn's exchange was a far cry from the amicable encounters they used to share quite frequently during their early days with the Resistance. In fact, she and Finn hadn't really communicated more than a feigned, friendly 'hello' to one another since well before Amidala was born. _Since before I fell in love with Ben..._ The harsh reality of their broken friendship remained a painful subject to this day—at least, to Rey; she had no idea if Finn felt the same.

Catching the two's ill eye contact was Finn's long-time partner, Poe Dameron, seated to his left. The handsome, salt and pepper-haired pilot offered Rey a much friendlier salutation by smiling and politely nodding in her direction. He discreetly nudged Finn to do likewise. Finn shot Poe a measured glare first but then, with reluctant consent, acknowledged Rey in a similar fashion.

By then, Rey was practically crawling out of her skin. She knew these bothersome emotions had little to do with her pregnancy—or Finn, for that matter—and, just as Ben was in the midst of divulging his newest compromising conversations with Supreme Leader Snoke to their fellow allies, Rey could take no more. She shimmied out of her seat behind him and made for the door, seeing herself out as noiselessly as possible so as not to draw anyone's attention, least of all her husband's.

Unsurprisingly, Ben came searching for her anyhow, and Rey was disgruntled at later being discovered crying in a confined closet space—Of all places! she cursed her rotten luck—feet from where the conference was still in session. Rey could overhear voices echoing from inside, but she and Ben easily ignored them as he beckoned her from her shadowy hiding place to stand in front of him amidst glass windows and natural light.

"What's the matter?" he asked quietly, glancing over his pregnant wife with obvious concern.

"Nothing," Rey replied all too hastily. "I'm fine."

Ben's frown lines deepened. "You know I can tell when you're full of shit, right?"

Rey matched that remark with a heated stare down. "I don't want to talk about it, Ben."

"Fine." He paused to thoroughly scan what he considered to be her marvellously transforming figure. Rey was as petite and physically fit as she had ever been but with a beautifully swelling stomach that, for the father to be, took his breath away on a regular basis. "You _are_ six months pregnant, though."

"Your point?" she hissed back, to which Ben reached out and took her delicately by the arms.

"Whatever emotions you're riding, Rey, please consider that _she_ 's experiencing them, too."

Irritated, Rey wiggled free of his grasp. "I had no idea," she deadpanned. "I've only been through this twice before, if you remember?" Ben rolled his eyes, wordlessly exasperated. Quickly realising her sour mood, Rey rubbed at her forehead and softened her tone. "I'm sorry, love. I don't mean to pick a fight with you. I'm just...having a hard time right now. Bloody hormones."

"Are you feeling all right? Do you want to head home? We can slip out now if we—"

"No, no, I just... I just need a moment is all," she insisted and patted his hand reassuringly. "Go back to the meeting before your mother suspects something and comes barrelling over here to badger us to no end."

Reading the distress lines clearly written across her usually soft features, however, Ben decided against Rey's suggestion. He determinedly stepped forward and enfolded his enormous arms around her back, easing her against his chest. She shuddered but then willingly leaned into the man's sturdy embrace, her much slimmer upper body roping around him in return.

"It won't be like this forever, Rey," he whispered close to her ear following a short period of silence.

"You said that seven years ago after Ami was born... And then five years ago after Han came along..."

"Did I?" he chuckled and lightly pecked the side of Rey's face. "Well, perhaps _this_ will be the last time."

Rey squeezed Ben's much taller frame as fiercely as she could. "I hope so." Her faint words caught at the back of her throat. "I'm not sure how much more of this I can take..."

Ben's hug tightened around her. "With any luck, Snoke will finally reveal all to me within the next year or two, and then we can act. He's suspicious and secretive, even with me. We don't know enough yet to strike."

Rey reared back to peer up into Ben's face, which was still ashen and tired, but his eyes weren't nearly as dark and tragic as they had once been. That had been before her. _Before us_. She kept her arms loosely woven around his waist and replied, "I say we take out that blasted Star base at first light and be done with this bloody war."

Ben tried to laugh off Rey's pouty remark, knowing she was being cynical with him (as well as hormonal); his laughter came out strained and weary, however. "Before we know the location of their second Starkiller base? I wish it was that simple. Snoke will go back into hiding at the first whiff of trouble; you know that. We'll forfeit our opportunity to confront him and, at last, put an end to all of this."

"Yeah...like we thought we _had_ done when the First Order fell," Rey morbidly reminded him. Her hand glided across Ben's arm to cup one of his hands that was wrapped around her shoulder. She turned her face inward to place an ardent kiss on the inside of his palm. "You're not doing this alone, Ben, no matter how isolated you may feel at times."

Ben's subsequent smile was brief but no less appreciative. "I know I'm not alone." The warm hand Rey clutched switched angles so as to thoughtfully trace her lips with its thumb. "I have _you_."

Rey felt unshed tears prickling at her eyes once more and tried to force them away. "I never wanted our children to grow up in this mess."

"Neither did I." Ben bent his neck in order to bring them forehead to forehead. "We'll get through this, trust me, and Ami's and Han's futures will be all the brighter for the crucial steps we're taking."

"Yes..." Rey exhaled a shaky breath. Her teary eyes and hands drew down to her expanding belly. "And for this one as well..."

Ben's hands lovingly reached out to cover Rey's, the pair of them caressing their unborn child together. Several more kisses soon marked Rey's forehead and she readily accepted them, closing her eyes in order to savour her husband's understated but steadfast affections.

Her eyes flew open moments later in confusion, however, when Ben abruptly stepped back from her, breaking their enjoyable contact. Rey followed Ben's heavily reserved expression at someone over her shoulder and turned around. To her utter surprise, Finn and Poe were awkwardly standing nearby, swaying their weight from one leg to the other. Finn especially looked sorely put out to be anyone near them, though Rey suspected his glum attitude had more to do with Ben than with her.

"Rey," said Finn, his address rather clipped. He provided a curt nod whilst Poe, again, smiled respectfully. After a pregnant pause, Poe muttered an excuse for leaving and hastened away in the opposite direction, leaving Finn standing solo.

"Yes?" came Rey's uneasy inquiry when the one-time Stormtrooper said nothing else.

"Can I have a word with you," he added, shooting Ben a rather heedful glare, "alone?"

Unsure, Rey warily turned to her husband. Ben's eyes were incredulous as they stared back at Finn, but then they switched their attentions to her and instantly grew soft and accepting in their unspoken address. He cupped one of Rey's hands, brought it to his lips, and sealed the matter with a kiss. "I'm going to ready the Falcon. Meet you there in five?"

"All right," Rey agreed, peering up at him gratefully before he stalked out of sight, he and Finn barely acknowledging one another as they almost brushed shoulders.

"So... What's up?" Rey asked first when Finn merely clenched his jaw and continued to stare without speaking.

"It's, erm... It's been a long time, hasn't it?" he finally stated, his conveyance stiff.

"Yes, it has." Rey was unable to keep the sadness from trickling into her voice. "How are you, Finn?"

"I'm well, thanks."

"And Poe?"

Finn's eyes lightened a touch at the mention of his lover's name. "Still the best pilot we got."

Rey's thin grin stretched. "I meant you and Poe."

"Oh, we're doing great, yeah. Everything's super!" Finn tried to match Rey's warmness, though, to her, his smile wasn't authentic like it had once been, for it barely radiated in his eyes. There was a heavy gravity to the man now; a worn wisdom that came with time, life-changing experiences, and living in a constant war zone. "Rocco's taking flying lessons now. He'll probably wind up a pilot just like his father, despite all my incessant grumblings and worries."

"That's understandable," Rey offered, keeping the conversation light. "Han's taken such a liking to flying, too. I think he may be headed in the same direction."

"How old is he now?"

"Five. And Rocco is...?"

"Six, going on seven."

"Wow, time flies..." Rey murmured, a certain tightness converging in the centre of her chest. It was agonising to acknowledge how much she and Finn were missing out on in each other's lives. Since they had last really spoken, they had acquired life partners and a family of their own, and yet, neither knew much at all about the other's private life. In her wildest dreams, Rey never would have imagined that she and Finn would become so distant. As distant as strangers...

"Yes, it does. I mean, it _has_ ," Finn chortled, though, again, it sounded fictitious to Rey's ears, which only deepened the wound. Finn's terse smile soon solidified into a frown, his overall demeanour apparently no longer content to play false niceties. "Rey, I... I've wanted to catch up with you for a while now but... Well, it seems it's difficult to catch you alone...whenever you come to these meetings, I mean."

"No," Rey answered measuredly, "I wouldn't be alone, would I?"

"No, I guess not." There was an underlying frustration to those few words that, at once, got under Rey's skin. She watched Finn shift back and forth, his body now tense and on edge. "I suppose your husband will always be accompanying you, won't he?"

Rey blinked, completely befuddled. She had no idea what Finn was after by suddenly choosing to speak to her after so many years of silence and blatant dismissal, but between her pregnancy and capricious emotional state nowadays, she wasn't game for mental warfare. "My husband's with the Resistance, Finn," she stated impassively, trying to maintain her cool. " _Of course_ he's going to accompany me. He's expected to give regular reports on his findings with the Proclamation. That is, when he can actually manage to get away from the enemy for more than a couple days at a time and also spend time with me and the kids."

"Rey, I'm just asking because—"

"Why? Why are you asking?" Rey pressed, her blood pressure rising with each passing second.

Finn's eyes narrowed. "Well, to be frank, I figured I wasn't permitted to speak to you so long as he was hanging around."

Rey crossed her arms over her chest. "And what the hell gave you _that_ impression exactly?"

"The fact that you've been avoiding me all this time!" he exclaimed.

"You actually have the audacity to claim _I_ 've been avoiding _you_?" Rey challenged through gritted teeth. She could hardly believe what she was hearing and stomped forward, purposely lowering her voice. "This has nothing to do with Ben! And yes, he has a name! Have you forgotten that it was _you_ , Finn, who wrote _me_ off years ago?"

" _I was angry, Rey_!" Finn countered, throwing his hands out at his sides. "As far as I knew, you went off to train with Luke Skywalker to become a Jedi without so much as a ruddy goodbye or waiting to see if I'd recover from what Kylo Ren— _your wretched husband_ —did to me! Then you return to D'Qar months later with none other than that same vile—"

"Watch it," Rey warned him, bracing her shoulders.

"—knave by your side; the same mental case who took you hostage, interrogated Poe to the point that he nearly lost his mind, and almost had me killed! How in the hell was I _supposed_ to react to that; with welcoming, open arms?"

"Finn, just where is this—?"

"You took up with him out of nowhere, Rey! _Kylo Ren_! Our greatest enemy!"

"No, _Snoke_ and _the Proclamation_ are our 'greatest enemy', Finn," Rey snarled in return, " _not_ Ben! He certainly isn't our enemy and hasn't been for a very long time!"

Issuing a calculated breath, Rey half reached for her formerly good friend before reconsidering her actions. "Finn, where is this outpouring of rage coming from? That was so many years ago, and we haven't been on speaking terms."

Finn's expression turned drastically abashed, as if he had grown suddenly aware of his erratic behaviour. He darted his eyes towards the wall, refusing to meet Rey's emotionally injured, confounded glare.

"If you remember, Finn," she carried on, though it pained her to recall, "I tried to explain what happened with me and Ben to you—more than once, in fact—but you got so heated that you stormed off, refusing to let me finish! No matter how many times I approached you, you wouldn't listen and you didn't want to hear." Rey paused to draw breath, watching as Finn's displeasure kept depleting. "I finally had to give up chasing you. I... I couldn't do it anymore."

"I know, Rey. I know," Finn sighed in agreement. He shot her a weighty look over and then presented an unexpected apology. "I'm sorry... Look, I didn't approach you just so we could rehash the past. That wasn't my intention."

"Good, because I'm rather tired and not up for it." Rey lowered her arms to her sides. "So, why _did_ you want to speak with me?"

Finn's eyes were freshly sullen as they bore into hers, and the words that poured from his lips next shocked Rey to her core, "I've missed you, Rey..."

Rey was momentarily bereft of words. Her heart clinched with a sudden desperate hope. She had long ago given up faith on ever receiving such an expression from her oldest friend that, for a moment, she wasn't sure if her hearing had betrayed her. Then she softly confessed, her voice quivering with emotion, "I've missed you, too, Finn. Very much."

"I'm relieved to hear that."

"Me, too."

"Listen, I... I know we may never share the closeness we once had but..." Finn struggled to get out. One of his hands unexpectedly reached for Rey's, linking through them like an aged, nearly forgotten security blanket. Rey's hope expanded. "I'd like to _not_ avoid you anymore when I see you, if you'll not dodge me, too?"

"Of course I won't," Rey eagerly assured him, unmindful of squeezing his hand. Finn readily returned the gesture.

"And your husband... He, erm, won't mind, will he?"

"No," Rey dismissed Finn's undisguised apprehensions with a snort, tears welling up in her eyes. "I can't vouch that he'll ever offer you much in terms of affability and conversation, but then..."

"I know that I'm just as guilty of not offering any of that myself," Finn finished with a gracious bow of his head. "Poe reminds me of my terribly poor manners all the time."

"Yes, well..." Rey stared up into the now good-natured face of what was a remarkably renewed friendship, trying to keep the wont to break down and cry at bay. How she despised being so uncontrollably hormonal these days. "He's a good man, Finn. I don't expect you to believe me, but I'm still going to say it anyhow because it's _true_."

"You're entitled to say it. He's your husband and... And I can tell that you love him, and that he loves you." Rey could sense that Finn didn't quite concur—or, rather, was convinced—of Ben's miraculous return to the Light. To her, it was hardly a shock, though. She hoped that maybe, with time, his attitude towards Ben might change.

"Thank you." She batted at a couple persistent tears and smiled, this time with complete genuineness. "I'll be so grateful when this little one arrives. I'm sick to death of crying at every ruddy turn; I'm so over it!"

Finn joined in on her smile and his, too, seemed entirely honest. "Congratulations!" he offered sweetly, and Rey was warmed by how much she could tell that he meant it. They stared at one another for another considerate moment before Finn quietly uttered in parting, "It's good to see you, Rey."

"It's good to see you, too, my friend." Her hand reluctantly unlocked from his and, instead, pressed his shoulder; he mirrored her offering of goodwill. "We should catch up some more?"

" _Soon_ ," he wholeheartedly complied.

With that, the two stepped away from each other. Rey gave Finn a parting nod and strolled off to join Ben outside of Resistance Headquarters, inwardly comforted by the treasure of a cheeky grin she remembered well from the past still gracing Finn's lips as she turned and walked away that day.

 

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star Base)**

Amidala flinched as the door to her cell whisked open. She could barely raise her head long enough to ascertain that Kylo Ren—no, her _father_ —was entering her cell, pausing to assess the unstable energy within her confinement. He didn't rush to her aid but she could sense that, even in the debilitating state she was in, he wanted most desperately to approach her. He had to make certain that it was safe to do so, however. His cloaked form was rigid and motionless, save for his head, which slowly turned about the room, searching for anything sinister that may still be lurking in the shadows.

Amidala yearned to look upon her father's actual face rather than that chilling mask but suspected that that wouldn't be likely so long as she and her family were trapped here. Would they make it to safety? Amidala prayed her parents had a plan in place now but felt entirely drained; too sapped to make a break for it now. _Must...rest..._

Another nauseating shiver washed over Amidala and she violently convulsed against the wall, sensing the Darkness brewing somewhere just out of reach, lying dormant for the time being. Of course there would be no rest. Why had she been daft enough to think Snoke might actually leave her and her family alone? _He won't stop, Ami_ , she told herself as her mind began shutting down. _He'll never stop. He swore to you he wouldn't..._

Amidala tried to haul her knees to her chest but fumbled, what with having such an unsteady grasp. She had been trying to bring her heart rate down for several minutes but hadn't managed to properly centre herself, too worn down by Snoke's recent mental assault to meditate as she should have.

Her dark eyelids fluttered open and suddenly discovered the sweeping robes that belonged to Kylo Ren directly in front of her, brushing against the toes of her boots. In the next instant, he had dropped down to her level and had her face cushioned between his gloved hands, forcing her to keep her head raised. It felt as though her mind weighed a thousand pounds, however, and Amidala would have gladly sunk to the floor and slept had her father allowed it; but he had no intention of letting her rest either.

"Stay with me, Ami," that strange, deep voice contraption belonging to Kylo Ren urged. Her eyelids drooped but she wrestled the plaguing fatigue to remain conscious. "Stay with me," he repeated, his instructions calm, yet demanding. " _I'm here_."

"Dad..." Amidala attempted to speak but formulating words required too much effort.

"You're shielding me, Ami. Lower your defences. It's all right, it's only me now. He's gone."

"No..." she mumbled, breathless, wilting into his touch. "He'll...come again..."

"I'll deal with that if he does," Ben assured her, drawing closer. "Open your mind, Ami. It's all right. I promise you'll feel no pain."

 _No... Mustn't..._ Amidala desperately wanted to resist but her feeble body had evidently had enough. Seconds later, her eyes rolled back into her head and she sagged forward into Ben's arms, who was there to catch her fall and cradle her close.

 _'I've got you,'_ he whispered, knowing his daughter would process the message, even in her unconscious state. _'It's all right, Ami. I've got you now.'_

Without delay, Ben began meticulously salvaging through Amidala's mind, retracing what he could of the Darkness' odious violation and what Snoke had supposedly been after. What the hell did he want with her?

Since the unforgettable day of Amidala's birth—one of the happiest moments of Ben's life—he had lived with the heart-sinking probability that one day his eldest child, whom he suspected might come to possess Force-sensitive gifts, could be approached by the same sick, conniving bastard who had lured him to the Dark Side. At night, he prayed in vain as he willed himself to sleep—far away from where he could protect those whom he loved most—that Amidala's precious gifts would go undiscovered and untainted by Snoke's loathsome influence.

Ben thought that he and Rey had done a relatively decent job of protecting their children from their enemies, keeping them as far removed from this war as possible, and yet, as Snoke had proven earlier that day with Astrid, they were failing miserably. Still, to Ben's knowledge, this was the fiend's first attempts at connecting with Amidala, and his initial endeavour had been most vicious an introduction, cruel and shockingly undisciplined for him.

That both pained and heightened Ben's alarm as he roamed through Amdiala's recent memories. He began playing back some of their conversation in his daughter's cell, feeling his insides twist and turn into knots the more he uncovered. Amidala had made every effort to refuse him. _No..._ This, in fact, wasn't their first encounter after all. How could that be?

In a wave of panic, Ben prowled deeper into his daughter's past, picking up on shocking, horrid glimpses of previous encounters that had occurred between Amidala and the Dark Side's most colluded, malevolent instigator. _No! NO!_ he realised with putrid awareness that set him spinning into a rapid, downward spiral.

Ben staggered backward, with repeated shakes of his head. He sprinted from the petrifying confirmation of what he had long ago feared might come to pass and wasn't ready yet to believe. He retreated to the outer most recesses of Amidala's mind as fast as he could, not wanting to assess any more his daughter's unwarranted suffering. Like him, she had tried to stay away—tried to rebuff and reject him at every turn—and finally Snoke made his move, though it had been far more savage than his approach towards Ben had gone.

Scurrying back to hers and Snoke's most recent confrontation, Ben halted as their voices rose in clarity and aggression, like an impending storm. As a father, and also as a victim, it was excruciating to watch.

_'TELL ME,' Snoke hissed with unmitigated wrath, 'WHO IS YOUR FATHER?'_

_'I - I won't tell you!' Amidala hollered bravely as the monster clawed ruthlessly at her defences. She strove to fight him off, despite the terrible awe and power she found herself facing alone._

_'YOU SHALL! YOU_ WILL _!'_

_'NO! Go away, I said!" she demanded, sounding weaker with each command. "Le - Leave me alone!'_

_'YOU WILL COME TO ME! YOU WILL OBEY!'_

_'I... I can't!' she wailed, her mental shields fracturing under Snoke's sheer domination and will; still, she fought him, pushing back against his twisted energy with all her might. 'I'll never tell you who he is! NEVER!'_

_'YOU AND YOUR BITCH OF A MOTHER—'_

_'YOU WON'T LAY A HAND ON HER!'_

_Snoke growled, irate, but then gave an unanticipated gasp when Amidala's Light made a sudden ferocious swipe, missing him by mere inches. Her move shocked and impressed Ben. Snoke responded with a threatening snarl that caused goose bumps to break out on Ben's flesh. 'You've left me no choice, you foolish girl! All those whom you love will pay the price for your insolence, I can assure you, starting with this...'_

_Snoke's energy made a whiplashing retreat, wrenching out of Amidala's mind with such force and speed that the girl was physically knocked forward onto her hands and knees. She intensely shook from head to toe and looked as though she was about to be sick, but, luckily, nothing happened._

_With immense difficulty, Amidala crawled her way into an upright position, using the dirty floor and walls as purchases. Ben waited another few heart-pounding moments, expecting something else to occur—for Snoke to, perhaps, return with a vengeance, intending to do Amidala more harm—and yet, to his amazement, the cad never returned. Where had he gone?_

_To Astrid_ , it slowly dawned on Ben, his throat dropping into the pit of his stomach.

After witnessing about all he could bear, Ben eased out of Amidala's mind, exiting without using the same dangerous pressure that Snoke had. He certainly had no interest in causing his daughter anymore agony. She remained out cold, however, her lanky body limp and unresponsive in his arms. Ben stared down at her still, ghostly pale profile, stricken by what he had come to learn in a matter of seconds.

Much to his consternation, Amidala had apparently been rejecting Snoke's pestering, relentless bribes and interrogations for far longer than he or Rey had ever imagined. Had it been weeks; months; years? _How could you_ not _know he was baiting her, you useless twat?_ Ben berated himself, enraged with his lack of awareness, willing his insides not to be sick right then and there on the durasteel floors of Amidala's cell. He truly _had_ failed his children. _Every one of them._ Even Han, who, as far as Ben could tell, was safe and unharmed for the time being; or as all right as one could be whilst locked up against their will.

Furthermore, Ben had been so consumed with bringing back his youngest, Astrid, from the throes of mental collapse that he hadn't stopped to determine what she might have disclosed to Snoke whilst under attack. Amidala hadn't given his identity away, but there was no telling at the moment if Astrid had. _It doesn't matter now._ Regardless of what the little one might have unveiled about him or Rey to the blood-thirsty Sith Lord, Ben couldn't afford to care right now.

Gliding a hand across Amidala's forehead, Ben began commanding her to wake, transmitting one imperative message after the next until, a couple moments later, Amidala began to stir. She came to, her eyes fluttering and peering up into Ben's seemingly intact facade. Awareness soon churned within their depths and she shot up from the ground, unsurprisingly plunging back into his embrace before she could properly stand up.

"Careful, Ami," Ben scolded her, bringing her into an upright position himself. He kept one arm woven around her back, allowing the girl to get her bearings in order. "You've just come out of a very nasty mental assault—"

"I'm sorry, Dad!" she blurted out before he could finish, and Ben noted Amidala's tears and quivering bottom lip. "I'm so sorry! I tried to stop him! I _did_ try—"

Ben reached out to clasp one side of her face to keep her eyes levelled with his. " _I know you did, Ami._ It's all right."

"But I couldn't stop him!" she blubbered on, her words pouring out between stifled sobs. "I don't know why he didn't break me completely! He - He could have—"

"He tired of fighting you is all. That's why he gave up so quickly and decided to have a go at another."

That forced Amidala to choke back on what she had been about to rattle next. "'An - Another'?" she stammered, staring up at him beseechingly. She threw herself at Ben and clamped onto both of his bulky arms. " _Han_? Wait, what? Why would he go after _him_? He doesn't know the ways of the Force! What would he do to him—?"

"It wasn't Han, Ami," Ben caved into replying with growing hesitation, sensing the fluctuating waves of his daughter's highly charged energy.

The realisation was hard and swift once Amidala considered who else it could be. "Mum? _NO_!" she cried out. " _What's he done to her_?"

"Ami, _hush_ ," Ben insisted, keeping a firm hold on one side of her face, "it wasn't your mother either. She's fine, I promise. It... It was your sister."

Amidala's mouth fell open, aghast. " _Astrid_?" A batch of fresh tears began flooding her cheeks. "Oh, no... Not - Not Astrid! _What have I done_? It's all my fault! I'm so sorry, Dad! He should have hurt _me_ —"

"Stop it, Ami," Ben made to calm her down, but she was too distraught and not listening well. " _It's all right_. She's with your mother now. She's going to be fine, I... I think. Everything's going to be all right, understood? Come."

Ben pulled his overwrought daughter into a fervent embrace, but Amidala reared back, near-black eyes still widened with fright. "Dad, he - he was demanding to know who you were! If - If he attacked Astrid then he... _He probably knows_."

"I'm not yet convinced that he's discovered anything about me—"

" _How can you say tha_? Astrid wouldn't be strong enough to fight him off!" She floundered as she scrambled to her feet a second time. Ben wound up hoisting her to her full height as she was clearly still shaken from what she had endured at the demented hands of Snoke. It deeply pained Ben to perceive his daughter's physical struggles, just as it had been debilitating to watch what Astrid went through. "Surely, he will have found out by now, Dad!" Amidala pressed on, visibly distressed and not at all thinking of her own afflictions. "You need to get out of here!"

"Ami, please calm down—"

" _YOU NEED TO GO_!"

Ben was bewildered when Amidala suddenly charged at him, giving the towering, burly man a hard-hitting thrust with her weak arms. Her shove was felt but, for someone of Ben's size and build, it hardly carried the impact she had been relying on. Irked, she pushed her father again and again, intending to force him in the direction of the door, but Ben wouldn't yield so effortlessly.

In one swift move, he put a stop to the poor child's efforts by seizing both of her wrists. "Ami, stops this," he snarled defensively. "You'll only make yourself worse by getting overly excited—"

"NO!" she barked, wet eyes staring pleadingly up at her father; it was an extreme shift from the tearful exchange they had had almost two days ago, when she had first discovered Kylo Ren and Ben Solo to be one and the same person. "You have to go! _NOW_!"

Ben thrust her arms out of the way and Amidala toppled backwards several steps, easily overrun by his much stronger physique. She breathed hard and was about to shout something else when, with a sharp fluttering of his robes, Ben whirled around and took off.

There was no time for this nonsense. His daughter, though shaken, would recover soon, and he needed to escalate his family's escape plans before they ran out of time. "I'll send your brother in to look after you until I return," he ordered over his shoulder, not glancing back before he took his leave.

"But, Dad—" Amidala started after him.

"—and, when I do, I'll have your lightsaber. You, Mum, your brother, and your sister will then make your way to my ship. Don't hesitate; don't you dare hold back; make sure you all get to my ship, _understood_?"

In a flash, Ben was gone, barring Amidala from him by solid, cold durasteel walls. The eerie silence that soon settled in her cell only made Amidala's fretting worse. With a frustrated sigh, she threw herself down on the ground, closed her eyes, and, instead of meditating to get her emotions under wraps, she sent a frantic telepathic message to her mother. Hopefully she, at least, could convince her father to see reason.

Amidala rocked back and forth on her knees, waiting on pins and needles for her mother to reply. _You should have lied! Why didn't you? You should have given him something that would have satisfied his curiosity! Then maybe he would have dropped the subject of Dad! And wouldn't have gone after Astrid!_

She vehemently shook her head. Lie to Snoke? There was no lying to that intimidating, fiercely intelligent creature. He was the shrewdest Force-sensitive individual she had ever known or heard of, Dark or otherwise; cleverer than her father and even her mother, whom she considered to be the greatest and most powerful Jedi in existence.

Then a harrowing (but brilliant) thought returned to her, and she hitched a breath. _Give him something that will satisfy._ As she contemplated the slim selections that that might include, her mouth formed into a single, unwavering line. But, of course, there was something she could propose to the crazed demon who had terrorised her family long enough; who, in all likelihood, was about to go after her father next.

_Me..._

 

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(D'Qar, Resistance Headquarters)**

"I think you might be jumping to conclusions here, hon—"

Finn rounded on his lover, rambling excitedly as they rushed across the open air field, "If Luke Skywalker's borrowing one of our Proclamation cruisers, you know something bad is cooking! He took Chewie with him, for cryin' out loud!"

"What does _that_ mean?" Poe couldn't help but laugh, not following Finn's second train of thought. "The Wookie's an old friend of the Jedi's. Why should his presence be cause for alarm?"

"That Wookie doesn't go anywhere that doesn't automatically imply danger!"

"Hon, you're really not making any sense—"

"Listen, I _know_ something's wrong, all right?" Finn maintained, climbing the concrete steps to the front doors of Resistance Headquarters two at a time. "I just... I can feel it in my gut."

"What, like the Force?" Poe teased, but he only received a razor-sharp glare for that supposedly ill-timed joke.

Giving an apologetic shrug, Poe scuttled after Finn through the glass doors, neither of them slowing their gaits 'till they had reached the main conference room. Poe made one last ditch effort to stop Finn from entering their boss' quarters unannounced. He grabbed Finn's arm but his attempt was futile, for Finn wheeled his arm out of Poe's grasp, threw open the heavy doors and dashed inside.

"General Organa!" Finn wheezed as he rushed towards her, spotting her at the centre of the room and discussing a 3D model of Proclamation's second Starkiller base with one of her lieutenants.

Poe was right on Finn's heel, offering profuse apologises to a startled Leia. "I'm sorry, General. He was insistent. I couldn't stop him—"

"I saw Luke Skywalker and Chewie just take off with one of our Proclamation cruisers," Finn spoke over Poe, as if the pilot hadn't said a thing. "What's going on?"

Leia nervously searched Finn's panic-stricken face. "We have reason to believe that the Solo family— _my_ family," she corrected herself, as she visibly struggled to swallow the information she was sharing, "—may be in trouble."

" _Rey_!" Finn jolted. His eyes widened in terror. "What's happened, General? _What's wrong_?"

"They seem to have somehow wound up at Proclamation's main Star base."

Finn's eyes went from as large as saucers to enraged, thin slits. "What's he done with them?"

Leia blinked, perturbed. "Snoke? I have no idea yet—"

"No," Finn interrupted her, his voice low and oozing with unreleased fury the man thought he had overcome, "I mean _your son_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N (cont.) : Before anyone starts shooting lasers at me - No, Finn (aka Precious Cinnamon Roll) will not be the nasty antagonist putting a wedge between Rey and Ben in this story, nor will he be generally depicted as the difficult friend. Finn deserves better than that, so I can assure you that that won't be happening here.**
> 
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> **  
> _Many, many thanks to those who review..._  
>  **


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : I'm grateful to have received a couple comments on the return of this story. Thank you, guys, it means an awful lot! (And I hope you saw my note about reading Chapter 10 before Chapter 11?! I don't want anyone to miss that because you wouldn't have gotten a notice for that chapter if you're following along so...). **
> 
> **I'm trying to play 'catch up' on this story to where it presently is on[FFN](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11709535/1/Seeds-of-Redemption) (Chapter 20), so quicker updates will continue.**
> 
> **  
> _Please do comment, if you would. I can't stress enough what a difference it makes to hear from readers expressing an actual interest in what's happening._**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 12**

" _I never lie. At least not to those I don't love."_

―A. Rice

_Han Anakin Solo, aged seven, wielded his miniature freighter model about the elongated kitchen in his family's home, twisting his arm high and low and every which way as he played contentedly by himself, finding no trouble in providing his own amusement. His scrunched up, freckled features were concentrated, his mouth pursed as he made various engine-like or laser beam noises._

_He veered off towards the hallway at the end of the kitchen, away from the unoccupied stove and countertops, when a soft-uttering Wookie's call distracted his personal entertainment. Han turned about to eye Chewie, whom he had known for as long as he could remember; the Wookie was as much a part of their family as Han's own parents and sisters were. Chewie was hunched over their circular dining table, looking terribly uncomfortable in such a cramped position, with his knees practically digging into his chest; but he didn't complain. Within his left paw, he held a second dainty spaceship model of his own making, which he happily beckoned for Han to take._

_Han broke out in an eager sprint, nearly colliding with Chewie but for an obstructing chair that halted his efforts. He cursed in pain, but Chewie's reprehending growl drowned out the boy's sharp yelp. Chewie placed the tiny space ship on the table between them and watched critically as Han took a moment to nurse his banged up, scrawny knees. He quietly t'sked at the seven-year old and shook his head._

_"Well, it's not like I_ tried _to do that!" Han fired back, shooting the Wookie a sour look._

_Chewie snorted, humoured by that, and crossed his arms gamely over his chest. He grunted towards the space model he had been trying to give Han before the boy had had his unfortunate (small) accident._

_"You sure?" Han inquired innocently as he inched towards the new model, which was freshly painted, with immaculate detailing and specifications. "I lost the last Resistance vessel you made me, Chewie. I'd hate to lose this one, too. You spent a lot of time on it—"_

_"Narrggghhhum!"_

_"Okay, okay!" Han snorted and flashed his friend an appreciative grin, clearly delighted with his gift. He carefully took the newest model into his hands and inspected it closely. "Ahhh, you even spelled the letters right this time," he mused after a thoughtful pause._

_"NARRRRRGGGG!"_

_Han reared back but didn't appear all that perturbed by Chewie's loud outburst. "Hey, I can still poke fun at you for that, can't I?_ You _'re the one who never lets up on my inability to restart the hyperdrive. That was_ one _time, you know, and over a year ago!"_

_"Annnugh," Chewie huffed in a much quieter fashion. "Huhhhmm."_

_"All right, fine. I'll stop if_ you _stop, how's that?"_

_Chewie agreed with a low purr. He then settled back in his chair, which groaned as though it might break under the Wookie's great weight, and brushed his paws over the top of his head. He observed a preoccupied Han with his toy with proud satisfaction. He reminded the Wookie so much—sometimes too much—of his grandfather._

_The Solos' son loved everything Chewie shared with him—at least, so far—whether it was something personal of the Wookie's own making or a rare collector's item the masterful smuggler 'stumbled across', as he so subtly put it, or precious items of personal significance, such as his grandfather's favourite blaster pistol (unloaded, of course). Today was no exception._

_Han resumed playing with both miniature models, spinning about the room and occupying himself whilst Chewie looked on. It was only a couple minutes later that, whilst in the midst of deep-seated, private contemplations, the Wookie and a preoccupied Han found themselves interrupted by the sudden appearance of a third party._

_Han, still heavily engrossed in play, had both ships zooming towards one another in his hands, with the apparent intent of having them clash. The models evidently had other ideas, though. Unexpectedly, the ships sharply flicked out of Han's hands. His eyes went wide with dread at first, startled at having supposedly lost his grasp on his fragile presents; but he quickly relaxed when they headed towards the ceiling rather than took a nosedive towards the ground. They enacted several impressive swerves and loops around the kitchen, twirling about Han but continuously evading the boy's grasp. He snickered as the speeding ships almost brushed an ear or a shoulder but, otherwise, successfully dodged captivity._

_After a minute or so, the newer of the two models skidded onto the kitchen table, where it came to a screeching halt directly in front of Chewie, seemingly of its own accord. The other landed safely in the palm of a hand, but it wasn't Han's or Chewie's. That individual had entered the kitchen by way of the nearby back door, and Han's eyes instantly lit up as they trailed from the model to the pale and somewhat scruffy, relaxed face of his father._

" _Dad!" Han greeted brightly, searching Ben's quiet, slim smile and dark eyes as he rushed towards him to retrieve his ship. He thought the depths of those eyes to be more spirited than usual, and that comforted him. He didn't like the undertones of stress and anxiety he too often perceived beneath his father's warm, welcoming exterior._

_Without missing a beat, Ben bent down to offer his son the return of his model. Han greedily snatched it from his large hand and started to step backward when he was effortlessly pulled into a fierce, all-consuming hug. Han laughed and squirmed, trying to break free, but Ben's enormous arms and sheer strength far outmatched the gawky seven-year old's; he gave up easily. His flimsy arms fell loose, prompting Ben to relinquish his hold. Han then darted out of his clutches and hurried over to the kitchen table to gather up his second model as well. Ben followed at his son's heel._

" _Were you good for Chewie?" he inquired casually, his tone serious but his expression unbothered._

_Han shrugged and only just avoided Ben's quick-thinking, facetious attempt at tussling his shaggy, long hair that, according to Rey, was in dire need of a 'trim'. He scampered backward out of Ben's clutches and grinned from ear to ear. Chewie answered the man's question with a short, light-hearted howl._

" _It's not like I tried that either!" Han immediately went on the defence, giving a showy but nonchalant toss of his head._

_Ben turned from Chewie to his son, eyebrows slightly raised in suspicion. "You mean to tell me you had no intentions of sneaking off with your mother on her speeder this morning?"_

_Han's mischievous eyes flashed with shock. "How did you—?"_

" _You just_ happened _to have tucked yourself into the engine room?" Ben pressed his son, though lightly, making sure to eye Han with a tint of austerity he knew his wife would appreciate._

_Han's mouth dropped. "I wanted to check out how it was working for her, that's all!" A frown replaced his previously wicked smile. "And anyway, how do you know that, Dad? You've been gone for days!"_

" _Just because I'm not here all the time, son, doesn't mean my eyes aren't everywhere. You should know that by now."_

_Han merely rolled his eyes in response and sighed. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered under his breath, choosing to intently inspect the small ships in his hands rather than speak again._

_To Ben, it was an obvious sidestepping tactic he understood all too well: the stubborn refusal to admit guilt. According to both his mother_ and _Rey, it was 'a Solo family trait'. He remembered demonstrating much of the same behaviour at Han's age—and beyond—though he wasn't about to give his wife the satisfaction of_  that  _admittance._

_Ben and Chewie shared a knowing, silent exchange before Ben started on Han's reprehensible actions again. "Han, you know better than to sneak off like that—"_

" _I just wanted to tag along," he moped over his father, slumping his shoulders in frustration. "You and Mum never let me go anywhere with you..."_

That _tugged significantly at Ben's heartstrings and the parent in him didn't hesitate to step closer. "Some of your mother's tasks for the Resistance aren't safe, Han, and mine never are. You know this. That's why Chewie came by today."_

" _Arnnghhhharrr," Chewie added in support. He emphatically nodded his head, but Han's glum expression remained intact._

" _Why are you all so secretive all the time?" He peered up at the reformed Jedi with emotional injury Ben wasn't accustomed to seeing in his second child. "What's the big deal?"_

"' _The big deal'?"Ben snapped. His face fell at noting the dismay and regret that subsequently whisked across Han's face._

 _Ben raked his fingers through his hair in order to eliminate the sinister anger that now had his fingertips tingling when they shouldn't._ You're tired _, he told himself and hurriedly made to switch his sour attitude. He never allowed that side to him to remotely surface in front of his family; or so he incessantly tried not to._

_Han's exasperations weren't unfounded or misunderstood either, and Ben reminded himself of that as well as he made to calm himself. His children weren't completely naïve to the Dark forces spreading across the galaxy, after all; it had simply been his and Rey's solid agreement that they would share only what they deemed their children could emotionally handle. For Ben, and that of his compromising guise, Han's and his sisters' awareness of such information was not negotiable._

_He half reached out to Han, wanting to put the boy's too curious mind at ease. "Han... We've discussed this. It's not that your mother and I don't_ want _to tell you certain things but we simply can't—"_

" _I'm sick of the secrets," Han grumbled into his chest. He stepped away from Ben once more, not allowing his father to touch his shoulder as he sought to do. "I'm sick of you all lying to my face."_

_Chewie made a small noise. Ben stared on, bereft. "Lying to you?" he prodded with caution. "Han, don't say that..."_

_Some of Han's inner turmoil deflated with another visible sag of his shoulders. He whispered, without meeting Ben's discontented gaze, "It's like you don't trust me at all..."_

_Ben started. Without taking in Chewie's despairing, faint reply, he wrapped his arm around Han's shoulder in one fell swoop before the lad could get away from him. He then heaved him securely against his side, relieved when Han didn't fight him off. "Is_ that  _what you think?" he returned sadly. "Because you couldn't be more wrong, Han."_

_Slowly, Han glanced up at his father, his mouth still set in a downtrodden frown. "Then why the secrets?"_

" _They're not secrets, Han. They're_ confidential _, that's all." Issuing a weary sigh, Ben scrubbed at his red-rimmed eyes and stubble, pleading softly, "Please, Han... Can we drop this now?" Han lowered his defences—and his eyes—and uttered nothing else contesting on the subject. Still upset that his son was feeling so disregarded, Ben squeezed Han tighter and planted an affirmative kiss on his forehead, speaking faintly into his unkempt hair, "I've missed you, you know."_

_Much to his alleviation, Han mumbled a short time later, "I missed you, too, Dad." His head reclined against Ben's chest and, after a short pause, the boy piped up, "Did Mum tell you about the speeder...or did Chewie rat on me this time?"_

_Chewie let out an affronted-sounding growl, and Ben was forced to suppress a laugh into his son's hair. Han spooked at Chewie's defensive tone and was about to say something else to the angry Wookie when he was cut off by another individual, who declared rather wryly from the backdoor, "That would be your_ mother _'s doing, Han, thank you very much! Why do you think Chewie was forced to play babysitter today?"_

_At once, Ben's sights flickered in the female voice's direction, where they came to rest upon the stunning visual of his wife, dressed in sleeveless, flowing, light gray robes. Her windswept hair, half undone and hanging loose over her bare shoulders, rippled with the gentle, westward breeze that swept through the kitchen by way of a few open windows. Rey greeted him and Han with her usual sunny, inviting disposition, permeating a pool of warmth that bathed away some of the lingering tension in Ben's body. It was still awfully remarkable to him to be on the receiving end of such a tender-hearted greeting, even after all these years._

_Evidently not noting the consolation her mere presence provided, Rey started for her husband and son, eyes excitedly locked on Ben's, when she was blocked by the furry, massive silhouette of Chewie. He got to her first and enveloped her into an acute hug, picking the Jedi straight off the floor._

" _Thank you for doing this, Chewie," Rey chuckled once the Wookie had placed her carefully back on solid ground. "I owe you one."_

" _N'arrgggg," Chewie dismissed and patted her shoulder. He respectfully stepped aside, allowing Rey to reach her other two family members who were waiting on kisses and hugs._

_Rey bent down to peck both of Han's cheeks first, and her son blushed. She then leaned into Ben for a proper kiss on the lips and felt him ease her against him, one hand pressed lightly on the smallness of her back. One of her arms slunk around his back, too, as their mouths finally met._

_Although she didn't want to cut their much desired, highly anticipated lip lock greeting short, Rey forced herself to rear back and scrutinise her husband at length, who pouted endearingly at her for putting an end to their kiss. It wasn't enough to deflect his extremely pallid complexion, which wasn't necessarily new but alarming, nonetheless; or the underlying, negative energy he carried with him—and was trying to suppress to partial success—and_ that  _was of great concern to her._

_Rey had detected that well-acquainted Dark energy nearly as soon as she approached him. Its presence had caught her off guard. Normally, when Ben returned to his family following his time away as Kylo Ren (which he made every attempt to keep to only a few days at a time), he made a point of staying a considerable distance from the house in order to switch out of that negative mode and semblance._

_From what Rey could sense, something had occurred to either trigger its dangerous release or, she feared, Ben was simply struggling to get it under control this time._   _"Everything all right?" she casually inquired, making sure to keep her demeanour light, though her searching eyes bore heavily into her husband's._

" _Yes," he returned simply, tearing his gaze from Rey to glance at their sheepish-appearing son. "Han and I were just discussing his little escape plan this morning—"_

" _Uh, I think I'll go play upstairs now." With that, Han bolted from under Ben's loose arm before either of his parents could stop him. He made a furious dash for the stairs, calling over his shoulders as he clumsily climbed the steps two at a time, "Thanks for the new model, Chewie! See you later!"_

_Ben sighed, defeated, and turned to Rey, now half smiling. "So," she prodded once their son had disappeared, "what did I miss?"_

" _He's upset that we never take him on any of our missions...and he doesn't think that we trust him." Rey frowned at learning of that disclosure, but Chewie, who had strode closer to the couple in the interim, came round to Ben's side, exchanged a few grunts and cries before Rey could say a word, and clapped him hard on the shoulder. "Thank you, Chewie," Ben managed, though his expression was notably stiff and devoid of emotion._

_Chewie tried patting Ben's shoulder again, but his hardened exterior didn't cushion for the Wookie. In parting, a disheartened Chewie shoved Ben into one of his more aggressive hugs, and Ben gasped before relaxing in his furry friend's hold. "All right, all right," he chuckled under his breath, and Rey suspected that his comforting words were mostly for Chewie's benefit and not his own. "You're right, Chewie. I know; I'll try not to."_

_Chewie released Ben, squeezed Rey's arm in consolation, and took his leave, his loud footsteps echoing across the kitchen floors before they faded into silence following the shutting of the backdoor. Ben and Rey kept their eyes fixed on each other, each seemingly reading the other's quiet expression._

_From the top of the stairwell, Han slowly made his way up the remaining two steps, knowing that, whatever his father had to say next about his top secret mission—or his mother's conveyance of concern for his safety—would only serve to frighten him. Whilst he was desperate to learn more about what his parents were up to, a fearful part of the boy held himself back from gathering certain clues and information._

_Maybe he really_ was _better off blinded to any of it._

*** * * * * ***

_Master Luke's lips formed a tight, thin line, a series of thoughts clearly spinning behind the wary, soulful eyes Rey had come to know. Rey, meanwhile, glared him down, waiting impatiently for her master to start explaining himself. She wanted to berate him for keeping such a personal secret from her—a crucial one that evidently involved_ her _past; a past she had long struggled to reconstruct and remember in any considerable detail—and yet, she was hesitant to move forward as well with the truth._

 _What then? What would it all mean once she knew? How would her life change? Surely, everything_ was _about to change._

 _Furthermore, why was Kylo Ren the one bringing her past to light? How did_ that  _conniving instigator evidently know more about Rey than she, herself, knew? That uncomfortable predicament put her terribly on edge, not to mention made her cautious about unearthing whatever information was about to be divulged._

_Was she and Kylo Ren connected in a way outside of the Force that she had deeply suspected since first being taken hostage by him months ago; or was that all in her overwrought, overrun mind? She was praying for the latter._

" _Rey," Master Luke made to speak but seemed to rethink his initial approach; he shut his mouth instead._

 _Rey rolled her shoulders back and set her jaw. "_ Well _?" she pushed when, unsurprisingly, the Jedi Master continued to act unforthcoming._

_Master Luke settled for a long, drawn out pause and a firm toss of his head. "Come with me," he commanded, though his voice was hoarse and strained._

_Rey kept a sharp eye on the old man as he shuffled around her and kept walking. With both eagerness and reluctance, she followed him, the waves of panic churning in her stomach gathering strength the closer they ventured towards the hut. Kylo Ren had disappeared—or, at the very least, he had gone for a stroll around the island to clear his head—for he wasn't anywhere to be found when they entered the mostly empty abode._

_Master Luke piled on more wood into the stone fireplace, muttering incoherently under his breath, whilst Rey took a seat on the floor in the centre of the room. She moved the wooden table out of the way, unsure of what was to come._

_Master Luke soon joined her, staring at the former scavenger-turned apprentice long and hard. Then, as if coming to a resolve with his own inner unrest, he silently consented to carrying on with the plan. He extended his mechanical hand to Rey, requesting that she take it, and Rey, accepted the gesture with trepidation._

" _What I share with you, Rey," the aged Jedi explained diffidently, keeping his eyes level with hers, "I share in the confidence that you will use the resources I've given you to this point to forge ahead, not back in time. Remember what I've taught you, my stubborn Padawan: there is nothing to be gained by retreating into the past. Open your mind to this knowledge but, I beg of you, do_  not  _tear open your feelings to what you see; it won't do you any good. You know this. I don't wish you to dwell on what was; it's your_  future  _that counts."_

 _Rey gave a nervous swallow. "Let_ me _be the judge of that, Master."_

" _No," he urged, his robotic fingers clamping down hard on her hand, "that's not a suitable answer, Rey."_

" _It's not suitable for_ you _to keep secrets pertaining to_ my _past from me either, is it, Master?"_

_Master Luke's mouth rigidly twitched. "It's been for your own good, Rey—"_

" _Again,_ I _'ll be the judge of that." Rey shifted her crossed legs tighter together. "Shall we get on with it?"_

_Master Luke nodded in agreement, though not at all at ease about doing so. He and Rey began a new form of meditation she hadn't attempted before, however; an exercise that allowed memories to be transmitted between Force-sensitives. Rey copied the Jedi's technique of closing her eyes and trying to place an emphasis on each breath she took. It was a struggle to centre herself, however, especially once images began flashing in front of her eyes. They started out blurry and distorted but gradually slid into focus._

_Rey was startled to discover her much younger self in the first memory that took shape. She was about five or six-years old, skipping forward in plain beige robes she had since replicated into adulthood. The grass upon which she trotted was lush and healthy, looking to be the same as the remote island that had recently become her refuge. There were familiar black rock and stormy seas she could both see and hear, and their appearance piqued her interest._

_A lithe, taller figure was strolling along beside little Rey, holding the girl's hand and eventually tugging on her tiny arm to put an end to her whimsical play time. "I need you to walk now, sweet one. We're nearly there."_

_Young Rey pouted up at the face of the person in charge, but meditative Rey was bereft at the face she saw: warm and ethereal, belonging to a most fetching woman her subconscious recognised but couldn't quite place—at least, not in her more recent history. She had wavy, long brown tresses that were braided from her roots to her backside and dazzling, azure-coloured irises. Rey felt her heart beat faster, for the woman_ had _to be her mother._

_Moments later, Rey's confused, younger self almost stumbled into someone, though her heart fluttered in excitement when she took in the individual's face, beard, and robes. The person was none other than Master Luke, who was wearing the same cloak and attire he wore at present, only he was far more spirited in this flashback, with a non-forceful smile and bright blue eyes that were most welcoming to the little girl. "You must be Rey," he greeted her kindly, bending down somewhat to peer into her round, wondrous expression. "I'm Luke Skywalker. I'll be your teacher in the ways of the Force."_

" _You will?" she asked, breathless, though Rey sensed that her younger self wasn't quite comprehending what he meant. It was similar to the strange, unsettling sensation she had experienced all of her life up until recently; the knowledge that she was somehow different and could perceive—and alter—an energy that wasn't physically manifesting._

_Master Luke nodded in encouragement, catching as little Rey's curious eyes fluttered to another standing beside him. He was slender, perhaps a little too thin, but immensely tall for a teenage boy. She wasn't sure how old he was but he didn't appear to be more than fifteen or sixteen-years in age. Yet, he had already outgrown Master Luke in height._

" _This is my oldest Pawawan learner," Master Luke began to introduce, and a peculiar inkling came over meditative Rey as she watched herself and this person interact._

_A small jolt echoed from Rey's seated position on the floor as the puzzle of her past began to slowly piece itself together in her mind. This wasn't just any boy she had encountered once or twice as a mere child. She and he shared a history, and she wasn't sure how complicated that history might consist of, but she could feel it with every fibre of her being._

_Before Master Luke or the boy could utter his name, Rey knew the teenager was Kylo Ren, except he wasn't Kylo Ren here. Not yet. The visual was an intriguing reflection of the man's adolescent self—before the hollowed eyes, overpowering emptiness, and swallowing Darkness had consumed him—and he was remarkably changed to the point of being nearly unrecognisable._

_He donned beige robes that marked that of a Jedi in training, though they were darker in colour than Master Luke's. His hair was black, curly and long, but with a sidelong braid that draped over his right shoulder. Most fascinating of all was his face, though. He may have somewhat resembled the harsher countenance Rey had come to know, but a younger Kylo Ren's eyes weren't nearly as sunken or desolate. His smile, too, at meeting little Rey wasn't disingenuous or hair-raising but, rather, warm and pleasant, even charming in all its awkwardness._

" _He'll be your second teacher when I'm not around," Master Luke finished explaining._

" _How do you do?" Little Rey reached out her small hand, and Kylo Ren crouched down to be at eye level with her. Without hesitation, he graciously accepted her hand._

" _Nice to meet you, Rey. I'm Ben."_

Ben Solo...  _Meditative Rey's breath stalled, the utterance of the boy's name this time bringing forth waves of long buried feelings she didn't quite understand. They really_ did _have a history with each other, whatever it was. How was that possible, if she couldn't remember any of their interactions from before? It wasn't trying to search her feelings and recall how, during her interrogation, Rey had sensed more than just a Force connection between them. Something deeper was there, glazed over and patched up, and not by Rey._ Now it all makes sense _, she realised, with equal horror and amazement._ I knew him before any of this...

" _This is where we leave you, my love," came the affectionate register of her mother._

_Rey, who had long lost hope of ever recalling what her mother used to refer to her by—or what her voice sounded like—was suddenly flooded with past dialogues the two had exchanged when she was a mere child. Her younger self interrupted those reflections, however._

_Turning to her mother in a panic, little Rey clutched at her mother's robes and burst into tears. "NO!" she cried as her mother made to pull her away; her mother's hands were trembling. "Don't go, Mummy! Please! DON'T GO!"_

" _My little one, it's all right," the tender, deep voice of her father interrupted, his stubby hands coming into view to drag Rey off of her mother. Meditative Rey startled. She hadn't sensed her father's presence until the man was suddenly standing before her, as if out of thin air. He had serene, hazel eyes—the same as hers—and wispy, short hair that was a touch darker than her mother's. He had a well-groomed beard and was smiling at his daughter through his tears; his expression broke Rey's heart. "We'll visit you when we can—"_

" _No, no, no! Please, Daddy! Mummy! Don't leave me!"_

" _Hey, Rey?" It was Ben who spoke this time, and he placed a gentle hand on her small back. Little Rey eyed the boy sidelong whilst continuing to try to cling to her mother. "It's going to be all right, I promise."_

" _But Mummy... Daddy..." she whimpered, tears leaking down her cheeks._

" _My parents left me here, too, when I was a little older than you, and I came to love it; you will, too. They'll come back to see you, Rey. It's all going to be fine. You'll see."_

_With a little more fragile coaxing from all three adults as well as Ben, Rey was finally separated from her parents. Her father had to force her mother to turn their backs and walk back across the island to where their vessel awaited them, and it looked as though it was the hardest walk of their lives. Young Rey watched them go. The farther they retreated, the harder she cried._

_Ben surprised meditative Rey by scooping her littler self into his arms. She allowed the boy to hold her close but kept her watery eyes glued on her parents' silhouettes. As their ship ascended into the sky, Rey let out several gut-wrenching wails and became inconsolable. She burrowed her face in Ben's neck once their ship finally disappeared from sight, whilst the boy spoke soothing words into her ear and rubbed his hand up and down her back._

_Master Luke gave instructions to Ben about helping little Rey settle into her new quarters, lightly patted the girl's back, and set off in the opposite direction, leaving Ben to look after the emotionally charged five or six-year old. He didn't seem perturbed or even remotely bothered by her crying and simply escorted her towards a series of stone huts a short distance away, continuing to carry Rey in his arms and whispering words of comfort into her ear. Her cries subsided but she kept her face burrowed in Ben's neck._

_Rey wasn't sure why her younger self felt such peace with Ben's attention as he carried her away. Considering the monster he would later become, it was as if she was staring upon that of an entirely different person than the one she knew. Evidently, there was much more to their interwoven story, and Rey braced herself for whatever she was about to uncover next._

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Han eyed his silent older sister sidelong, studying her subtle mannerisms thoroughly and without comment—at least, so far. He wiggled his nose on occasion or scratched the top of his head but otherwise remained mute and still, seated next to Amidala on the floor of her cell.

Han had been tasked with watching her by his father less than ten minutes ago, and he wasn't taking that order lightly. He had never been particularly good at discretion (well, not emotionally anyway, for his feelings tended to openly run across his face, despite his best efforts to conceal them); but the ten-year old  _was_  rather shrewd when it came to detecting matters that lay beneath the surface, whether it was unearthing people's underlying emotions or problem-solving the intricate inner-workings of an aged Millennium Falcon not running at the speed and capacity with which it should. He wasn't sure which was worse, really: being able to read people so easily and thereby determine when they were lying to him or blissful ignorance. It was a dilemma he was still trying to work out on a near constant basis.

Today was a day Han would much have preferred naiveté but, unless he got hit in the head by a blaster, general stupidity about what was happening all around him wouldn't serve him well, especially in getting out of this wretched place that belonged to the enemy. Han had little doubt that his father had been dishonest with him shortly before disappearing out of their holding cell. Having Ben unexpectedly turn up in his cell earlier had been an enormous relief, though learning of the harrowing mental assaults his sisters had undergone hadn't appeased the boy's already highly charged nerves. Ben had been brief in his relaying of recent events, not offering forth much of the details Han craved, and hurriedly escorted him out of his cell and into Amidala's, where he and his sister had since sat on the ground in suppressed silence, waiting on pins and needles for their father's return; or some signal that an escape was about to commence.

"You know how to fly a command shuttle?" Ben had asked Han after closing Amidala's cell door.

Han's eyebrows rose to his hairline, hidden by too long, dishevelled bangs. "I... I'm not sure," he responded hesitantly, but the metal mask his father wore made glimpsing Ben's reaction impossible.

"Well, you're going to learn today," he pressed his son collectedly, the deep contraption of his voice not indicating any uneasiness on that nerve-wracking score. "Your mother will need your help to fly out of here, Han."

"With what?" Han asked, angling his head up at Ben.

"My ship."

" _Yours_?" Han's eyes widened in shock before morphing into utmost dread. He vehemently began shaking his head back and forth. "Dad, no, you can't—"

"The decision's already been made, Han, and we haven't much time. I need to retrieve some things for you all first. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Han startled when his father's stark frame started to retreat from him. He pounced forward and seized Ben by the wrist, yanking with all his might to bring the disguised Resistance fighter back to his side. His feeble attempt barely had any impact on Ben's towering, heavy frame, but he halted anyhow and peered down at his panicky son expectantly, though the boy couldn't tell.

"What about the Falcon, Dad? Can't we somehow get to it to—"

"The Falcon was left behind by the Proclamation." Perceiving the horror and worry that materialised in Han's eyes, Ben added in haste, "We'll get her back, son, but not now. My ship is the easiest solution for you all to get out of here. No one will suspect it being stolen under my watch, and I can ensure that no one is around to guard or protect it."

" _But, Dad_ —"

"Don't argue with him, Han," Amidala muttered from behind him, shivering slightly as she rocked on the solid, durasteel floor whilst squeezing her knees to her chest. "It's useless. Believe me, I've tried."

Han thought he detected his father make a noise at that—something akin to an aggravated growl—but he offered forth no retort. Instead, he spun around again, intending to leave, but Han leapt forward a second time, though he wasn't able to snatch Ben's wrist. "Dad!" he frantically called after him and 'Kylo Ren' turned his head to stare. For whatever reason, Ben's guise this time stifled some of Han's fortitude. "You... You're coming with us, aren't you?"

Ben stared on, not answering for what felt like a minuscule second too long for Han's liking. Then he nodded, softly answered, "Yes," and stalked out of the cell without another word.

The doors whipped shut behind him, the silence it left making Han unconvinced and more afraid than ever. He turned to his sister, entirely unsure in that moment of what to say or do. Amidala glanced up at him, too, and Han was stricken by her ghostly ashen complexion. Whatever that horrid Proclamation leader, Snoke, had done to her, it had affected her ability to speak or move properly.

"He'll come," she tried to assure her stricken brother, albeit quietly. "He'll want to ensure we actually get out of here this time."

"Yeah...I guess so." Issuing a sigh, Han joined Amidala in the centre of the room, still deeply sceptical of their father's intentions. The dubious lines that marked his brow remained on display as he pondered what little Ben had disclosed of the family's escape plan.

As each minute passed, he grew increasingly troubled rather than encouraged by what he knew. Han didn't know the outline of this base well—or how perilous this second attempt at escape might be—but confiscating his father's command shuttle sounded counterproductive, not to mention extremely unwise. Why would his mother have agreed to such a scheme, especially if it potentially placed their father in jeopardy with the Proclamation? He had heard enough nasty rumours of how the enemy dealt with traitors and reprimanding their own. The gruesome thought was enough to make Han pull his lanky legs to his chest, much like Amidala, and grip them tightly.

"He  _has_  to come with us," he finally spoke aloud, hardly aware that he had said it, until Amidala turned her head.

"He  _will_ , Han."

"How can you be so sure?" Han challenged, his eyebrows coming sharply together. "You heard him. He didn't sound all that convincing—"

"Trust me," Amidala insisted, turning her gaze to the cell door blocking them from freedom, as if it held some sort of secret indicator, "he'll come."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes (cont.) : Thank you to those who review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Once again, a BIG thank you to those who are reviewing! It really makes such a difference to this whole process. I hope anymore who are reading will leave a comment, too. It would brighten my day.**
> 
> **Also, another gentle reminder that what you will find in this chapter was written (and initially posted on FFN) well before the release of _The Last Jedi_ , so this my headcanon and it deviates quite a bit from what we now know...**
> 
> **Next update likely won't come till after Christmas, so have a Happy Holiday!**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

**Chapter 13**

" _One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but making the darkness conscious."_

—Carl Jung

_Meditative Rey watched, fascination and reluctance churning her insides, as the last remnants of the haunting image of her young self desperately clinging to Ben Solo morphed into another time and space, and not too far after that life-altering moment on the island of Ach-To. Glimpses of the early part of her training to become a young Jedi danced before her sights, from her nerve-wracking first steps into Master Luke's introduction class, in which every new Padawan cross-legged on the floor was at least two or three years older than her, and with Ben gently coaxing her along to the front of the room; to several lightsaber training sessions that her current self would have struggled to achieve, let alone a five-year old; to studious learning of the various planets, solar systems, and their particular inhabitants._

_How had she forgotten such teachings? How could she have gone from a little Padawan learner to a parentless orphan abandoned on the desert land of Jakku, without knowledge of the living Force that resided within her? It both enraged and puzzled Rey more so with each passing frame that led her deeper into her past, towards a former life she couldn't recall so much as a speckle of living at one time._

How could this be?

_The two constants in the archive of these memories who cropped into view and interacted with her on a daily basis were Master Luke and, even more frequently than her Jedi teacher, his apprentice, Ben Solo. Young Rey had evidently taken quite the liking to the gawky but sweet-tempered teenager. Then again, he seemed to carry an undoubtable affection for the endlessly curious, rather rambunctious tot as well, whom, as present Rey would come to discover in observing a private conversation between her younger self, Ben and Luke, apparently hailed from the planet of Mandalore._

Mandalore? _Elder Rey gaped in shock at this revelation, rearing back from the casual conversation her younger self was having with her elders over breakfast._ That's my _home_? _Rey had certainly heard of said planet, as well as its nefarious, violent chronicles._ _She couldn't comprehend how she and her parents had come to reside on such a wasteland. T_ _he accompanying faces listening to the girl's gentle ramblings hinted at knowing more than she on the subject, though._

_"My daddy's helping to rebuild the capital city," Rey explained enthusiastically to Ben, a tint of pride emerging from that small but forward voice of hers. She chomped down on a spoonful of mushed oats before continuing, "He's got such big ideas, Daddy does! All sorts of splendid designs to make the city glow and grow again! Mummy just sort of shakes her head at him and reminds Daddy to 'think practically'." Little Rey shook her head at that, but her older self suspected that the girl she was watching, with her messy, three-looped locks she had donned into adulthood, had no idea what such words meant. "My Daddy always says to never stop dreaming."_

_"He's right," Ben chimed in a moment later, offering Rey a thoughtful glance over._

_Little Rey smiled, encouraged. "Maybe when Mummy and Daddy return you can come visit my home, Ben!" She added in a defensive grumble, "It's not as bad as some of your students make it out to be."_

_Ben's face slightly fell. His heavy eyes withdrew to their half-eaten bowl of oats. "Yeah, maybe," he offered up, his low voice restrained, sounding, to young Rey, either unsure or unenthused about her proposal._

_Elder, shrewder Rey knew better, though. Ben was painfully aware that Rey's parents wouldn't be returning to visit her anytime soon, and yet, both Ben and Master Luke said nothing to that effect. Meditative Rey's heart sunk. How could they withhold such vital information from her?_ Easily _, she quickly surmised, the gnawing sadness in her stomach gathering strength._ Who wants to inform a five-year old child that her mother and father have left her here?

_Oblivious little Rey resumed slurping her breakfast without much delicacy or example of manners. Ben seemed to find her ungraceful chewing tactics amusing, however, for the warm twinkle in his eyes soon returned._

_A pensive frown crossed meditative Rey's face as the memory faded into a whirling black pool. There were more recollections that surfaced thereafter: playful, mentor-to-child exchanges between Rey and Master Luke outside the reconstructed Jedi Temple, where she often bombarded him with endless questions about the Force and the Universe; or flashes of her racing across the island with Ben under the dreamy, late afternoon sun, in which the boy graciously permitted Rey to win; or Rey incessantly giggling at Ben and distracting his meditative concentration as he made to suspend her off the ground whilst standing on his head at the same time._

I have no memory of any of this... _The dawning of such hard-hitting awareness left Rey increasingly sore, for the memories endeared, softened and warmed her, especially to the once doting boy who had taken her under his wing without being asked, going out of his way to make her feel welcomed and at home in those early days, weeks, and months when it was clear that, by way of some of what Rey watched, the other young Padawans weren't interested in being her friend._

_Little Rey was too 'strange' and 'abnormal' to most of him, severely lacking in 'graces' and 'poise'. "Screw them," Ben would dismiss to her heartily, and Rey's teary-eyed expression would transform into an appreciate smile. To her peers, she was unwieldy with a lightsaber and horribly blunt with her words. "They're just jealous of your skills and intellect, Rey," Ben would later vindicate over a meal or on a stroll, and Rey's doll-like features would beam with pride. When a few kids snickered at her participation in class, Ben would jump in at once to put a stop to their bullying. If he wasn't around when something went poorly for Rey, Ben was there afterwards to offer a soothing hug that greatly improved her spirits._

No... I don't remember him at all _. A wrestling of guilt and despondence pressed upon Rey's chest at that._

_The scene rotated out of sorts once more, clearing seconds later to showcase something else: Rey, now roughly six-years old, scurrying past Master Luke and barely acknowledging his friendly, 'Hello!' in passing as she rushed onward against the wind. She was on a mission to somewhere, and nothing was going to deter her, not even her teacher._

_Abruptly, little Rey came to a halt outside of a stone hut, one that, at a glance, looked remarkably like the present abode she shared with Master Luke and Kylo Ren on the island. Rey cautiously rounded the outside, front teeth pressing down nervously on her bottom lip as she took considerable time veering about, hoping to spot something; or, perhaps, some_ one _._

Ben... _Elder Rey stared on, perplexed, a mere observer to this peculiar, unsettling new memory. She could feel its heaviness in her bones, and she didn't like the ill sensation that persisted. Her younger self shouldn't have been so anxious about approaching the gangly teen, for Ben wasn't the mean-spirited type to whom one cowered in fear; his counterpart—Kylo Ren—maybe so, but not his sweet-mannered, younger self._

_Yet, it would appear that much had changed in the year Rey had spent on Ach-To. A certain Darkness hung in the air now, its presence thick and uncomfortable and putting both young and elder Rey on edge. In recent months, Ben had apparently grown moodier towards her. Today, little Rey was openly displaying her apprehensions about how he might react to her, and those trepidations began flooding her elder self's mind as well. Ben's fickle temper was becoming a regular problem for the Academy, not the least of which Rey and Master Luke. He now had everyone on tenterhooks and needles._

_That wasn't enough to convince Rey not to seek him out, though. For whatever reason, it was dire that she speak to him and, before long, that reason began formulating before meditative Rey: he had been overly snippy with her earlier during her levitation lesson, and she wished to get to the bottom of what she might have said or done to trigger the boy's anger._ _Was he infuriated because she couldn't maintain her concentration long enough to stack the pebbles higher than eight?_ Eight is the most I've stacked yet! It's more than any of the others in my class can do! _Rey moped, pouting as she chanced a couple steps forward in the uneven grass._ Shouldn't he be proud of me? Why was he so mad?

_Little Rey stretched onto her tiptoes to peek inside a circular-carved window. Ben's bedroom was empty save for a dishevelled mattress, a few books, and some empty parchment and pens scattered across the dirt floor. He shared this hut with two other teenage Padawans, Trystan and Ajax, but Rey's eyes didn't scout for any other occupants. His roommates would be off to lightsaber training at this hour anyhow, so Rey slunk down to her regular height and recommenced circling the perimeter._

_Ben wouldn't be at training either; Rey knew that this was her friend's free hour. She had come to learn most of the variously aged Padawans' schedules, but she had memorised Ben's like the back of her hand, probably because he was the first—and remaining few—to have continuously shown her kindness since her arrival on Ahch-To. Somehow, the closeness of their relationship had been strained, and little Rey was concerned for the boy who had so quickly become her best friend._

'Boy'? _Elder Rey suddenly started alongside her younger self, for they then stumbled upon Ben. Little Rey halted in the grass and held her breath. The 'boy' crouched beneath the shade of the hut's shadowy outline a few feet away didn't appear all that awkward, lanky, or even young anymore. To be sure, he was as staggeringly tall as ever, even whilst reclining against the uneven stones, with his knees propped up against his wide chest. He seemed to have shot up another foot or two in height, and his broad shoulders and long legs were stockier than before. His head was lowered, making small Rey uncertain if the boy—nay, young man of now sixteen or seventeen-years of age—was meditating or simply sitting quietly with his thoughts. That uneasy negative energy, too, was present,_ _curtaining Ben like a sinister, dark cloud_ _._

_Rey waited a moment, but when he didn't acknowledge her, she sucked in another breath and whispered timidly, "Hi, Ben."_

_Ben startled and whipped his head sideways._ Yes _, Rey shuddered, and not at all with relief,_ Ben isn't a boy any longer. _Young Rey's half smile vanished at the aggressive scowl and slits for eyes she received in greeting; that dangerous glare of his mirrored the same incensed look from earlier that day during her lesson. "What do you want, Rey?" Ben ground out between his teeth, and meditative Rey realised that his voice was an octave deeper as well._

" _Um... Can I join you?"_

" _No," he came down harsh on her when Rey tried to take a step closer to him._

" _But I just want to—"_

" _I want to be alone, Rey."_

_Rey hesitated where she stood. "I... I just have a question, Ben—"_

" _Save it, would you?" he bit back, and little Rey recoiled as if she had been struck across the face. Her reaction wasn't unnecessary, however, for Ben's volatile energy lashed out at the same time as the unleashing of his acerbic tongue._

" _Why are you so angry with me?" She despised how unsteady and feeble her voice sounded but couldn't keep the emotional injury inside suppressed. "Please tell me what I've done, Ben... Please?"_

_To her dismay, Ben maintained his loathsome scowl. He raked a trembling hand through his hair, which the six-year old thought odd. It wasn't like Ben to be so out of sorts. His side-braid drifted off of his shoulder, fighting the ocean breeze, but his hostile stare remained. "It's not you, Rey," he eventually issued in a long, drawn out sigh. "I just... I just want to be alone right now, all right? Please...leave me alone."_

_Rey's face soured, dissatisfied with her friend's somewhat clipped response. "But today...at my lesson..."_

" _You were distracted. It became frustrating for me." A muscle in Ben's left cheek clenched. His dark brown eyes, too, seemed to have gone a touch darker. The red rims he wore, which had started turning up in recent weeks, were also markedly more pronounced today._

 _Rey fidgeted with her small hands, her eyes glued to the cross young man whom she had come to regard as family. "But your anger, Ben... I don't understand. Something_ is _wrong. Won't you tell me what it is?"_

" _Rey—"_

" _Maybe I can help?"_

"Everyone gets angry, all right _?" Like a switch, his tone turned highly vexed and agitated. This time, when his expression met Rey's, the result actually alarmed her. "_ What I'm going through right now is none of your business, Rey _!_ You got that _?"_

" _But, Ben—" she pleaded softly but was cut off._

"YOU CAN'T HELP ME _!"_

_Rey's lower lip trembled. She drew backward, feeling defeated and lost. "I'm sorry, Ben. I just... I just wanted..."_

" _GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE!" Ben shot to his feet, breaking from the ground like a formerly caged beast. Rey jerked back again, fearful for the first time since she had laid eyes on Ben Solo. "I'M SICK TO DEATH OF YOU FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE, GIVING ME NO ROOM TO MYSELF! I DON'T_ WANT _YOU AROUND, REY! I DON'T_ WANT _YOU HERE!"_

" _You - You don't?" the distraught little girl whimpered, wide eyes brewing with tears._

" _NO, I DON'T!" he barked and threw his hands up in the air. "GET OUT OF HERE, REY! GO!_ LEAVE ME ALONE _!"_

_With that, a highly charged Ben stormed off in the opposite direction, his energy crackling and sparking the atmosphere between them. He tore away from the security of the hut, away from the snivelling girl who had come to him begging for answers._

_Having sensed the revulsion and hatred that practically radiated off of him, Rey hadn't the heart to pounce after Ben. She doddered towards her own hut at the other end of the top of the hill, rattled and confused. The endless supply of tears she shed couldn't be wiped away or disguised, though she uselessly rubbed at them and tried to stifle her sobs as best she could._

_By the time she reached the hut she shared with two older female Padawans, though, her cries were vehement and uncontrollable. Rey burst through the front door, not caring about the two irritated roommates on the floor who hissed at the girl's disruption to their meditation session, and retreated to her bedroom, which was separated from the main area by a threadbare curtain. A few insistent "Shut it!" exclamations from her roommates would silence Rey's inconsolable cries, though they were merely smothered into her pillow instead. Eventually, sleep took her, and little Rey nodded off to the emotional reliving nightmare of her confrontation with Ben._

_It was as though elder Rey's heart had ceased to beat whilst watching that distressing memory unfold. A long-lost devastation in her gut returned, its piercing re-emergence squeezing her heart in two. She didn't realise, until the memory swirled into something new again, that her cheeks had become wet; but the fresh scene that unravelled soon thereafter captured her full attention, allowing no time for reflection on that haunting conflict with her old friend._

_Master Luke and Ben were in the midst of a heated argument, each standing at the edge of a steep cliff. The wind thrashed at their hair and robes, causing the two men to shout in order to be heard above the ferocious ocean gust at the bottom of the cliff. "You're changed," exclaimed Master Luke, his perceptive regard underlined by growing concern and distrust. "What's happened to you, Ben?"_

" _You should know, shouldn't you,_ Uncle _?" Ben snarled back, shooting dangerous laser beams for eyes at his uncle, regarding Master Luke like an adversary rather than family. "Isn't it why my precious parents brought me here, so that you could suck it out of me?"_

 _Master Luke's scowl lines hardened. "I resent how poorly you speak of them, Ben,_ and _of me. We love you!"_

" _Like hell you do!" Ben challenged through gritted teeth, and Master Luke's fair blue irises glimmered with pain. "My parents threw me on you because they wanted nothing to do with me—"_

" _That isn't true, Ben!"_

"— _and now_ you _want nothing to do with me either!"_

_Master Luke angled his head. "Why would you think that?"_

_"You think I don't know?" A most bitter laugh cracked at the back of Ben's throat. "You think I haven't heard you conversing with your elders about me in the middle of the night? You can't control me and that's all any of you have ever wanted to do: suppress my powers; stomp out my gifts; use my skills against me because they frighten you!"_

" _That's Snoke's rubbish talk," Master Luke warned his nephew and raised his hands protectively into the air, "and you're ill-advised to listen to someone like_ him _over your own loved ones, Ben."_

"' _Loved ones'?" Ben all but snorted at his Jedi Master. "Our family knows_ nothing _of love! All I've ever been taught by those whom I'm meant to look up to is to reject love—reject emotions—when they are essential to our fucking survival!"_

" _That's blasphemy, Ben—"_

" _The Jedi Code rejects love;_ you _reject it; my own parents reject it and do nothing but squabble with each other! How do you expect to teach me to live without my Darkness—without that which is a vital part of_ me _; of who I am—when none of you are even halfway decent examples of human beings capable of love!"_

 _Master Luke appeared lost for words. He brought his hands together and half reached to his nephew, beseeching him, "Ben, please, listen to me: the Dark Side is_ not _love; it's heartache and despair. It will devour you; you'll know nothing but misery if you continue down that path. Please, Ben, turn away from him now while there's still time! I don't want to lose you! I_ do _love you—"_

" _No, I realise now that the Jedi way is_ not _love," a venomous-sounding Ben declared, his towering form still and tense upon the rocks. "Your way is inhumane, Uncle; its censorship and a disgrace against the self."_

_Master Luke's eyes turned frantic. "Ben, you're wrong!"_

" _And I want no part of it anymore."_

 _Baffled, and reaching a point of hysteria, Master Luke shouted to Ben, "What of Rey? If not me or your mother or your father then what of_ her _? Does_ she _mean nothing?"_

_Ben's eyebrows slid together. "Why would you bring her into this?"_

" _Because I've seen how close you two were, Ben! You protected and guided and cared for that girl once, as I've never seen you care for anyone. Is_ that _not love? Is that not what we, as Jedi, are taught to pursue: to help others in need; to balance the Universe; to give it—and others—the gift of peace and harmony?"_

_Ben's dark eyes mulled over those words for only a short time. Then they glistened strangely, and not, to Master Luke's horror, with any change of heart. "No..." he whispered, and his voice barely registered above the violent winds. He took a decisive step back from Master Luke. "You're mistaken, Uncle. You and my mother and my father have blinded me long enough, but now I see."_

_Master Luke reached out his mechanical hand, and it visibly shook. "Ben—"_

" _I renounce you as my teacher." Ben levelled his glare, and meditative Rey could have sworn a flicker of rage-filled red tore across the young man's eyes as he turned his back on the Light. "You're not my master now. You're dead to me."_

_Ben marched off, facing the stormy winds that rippled his cloak. He ignored his uncle's panic-stricken shouts that followed him across the hilltop. His silhouette spun into darkness, sweeping the memory away with it, and all elder Rey could do was helplessly watch another window into her past materialise. What opened up before her next had her jolting backward and gasping for breath._

" _NO!" someone was howling, but his or her cries were overrun by the various intense, blood-curdling screams reverberating all around little Rey, who had sought shelter behind crumbled rock that was all that remained of the reformed Jedi Temple._

_The chaos and cries were too much to take in and sprung Rey's petite legs into action. She had hovered in the shadows for too long, and it was time to move. As she began her delirious race across the mud-infested grounds, her sights half blinded by the pounding rain and darkness overhead, someone fell to the ground in front of her, forcing her to halt in her tracks. Her heart leapt into her throat at recognising the person's bloodless face: her roommate, Priya. The smell of burnt flesh was nauseatingly potent and Rey noted that the hole in Priya's back was fresh, the skin still melting on account of the hot saber that had struck her down and killed her instantly._

_Petrified, Rey sprinted over the deceased girl and kept on running. The disintegrated huts that had once been homes, the ruined temple that was nothing now but pulverised rock, and the dead bodies that lay strewn about beneath their ruin—or out in the open—blurred with the rain. Little Rey was grateful for that; she didn't want to come upon another recognisable face._

_Lightsabers had been flurrying in the night, spinning like torches intent to overpower the Darkness; but they were disappearing rapidly one by one. One saber was a fiery crimson and relentless in its invasion; the others were blue, like Rey's, that fought against it and lost._

_Rey ducked and crawled to avoid being struck. Who was this faceless heathen; this blood-thirsty monster who had singlehandedly demolished everything that Master Luke had worked so hard to rebuild?_

Where _is_ Master Luke _? Rey considered with worry when, moments later, something much larger and heavier collided with her, sending Rey head first into the mud. She yelped, easily pinned beneath the individual's weight._

_The deadly sound of a lightsaber whooshing past her ear made Rey freeze from trying to free herself. There was another awful cry—male—and then whoever was on top of the little girl went still, their lifeless weight crushing her farther into the ground. Soggy footsteps carried on, soon drowned out by the rain, and Rey waited several heart-pounding moments before ably convincing herself to move. If she remained trapped beneath this person, she risked getting stuck in all the thickening mud and debris._

_It took about a minute to scramble her way to freedom, but once Rey had successfully heaved herself out from underneath the dead body, a scream escaped her before she could prevent it. The deceased was one of Ben's roommates, Ajax, and the poor boy hadn't stood a chance against the saber that had so recklessly plunged into his heart, leaving a murderous, blood-stained hole on the left side of his chest._

_Rey scurried backward, unable to find her footing in order to stand. Where was Master Luke? Why wasn't he putting a stop to this nonsensical brutality?_

_Suddenly, Rey was yanked to her feet, and whoever had snatched her arm was clutching it far too tightly. She winced in pain and tried to whirl around to face this person, craning her neck and squinting to search out the face of her saviour. Instead, she let out a hair-raising scream that had the capacity to shake the ground._

_It was Ben Solo, only he no longer resembled the face of her dear friend. His eyes were as dark and bleak as the sky overhead, soulless and devoid of warmth. The red rims surrounding them made him look utterly maddening in the mist,_ _along with the splatters of blood that ran down his face. The_ _side braid normally worn to mark that of a Padawan had been severed off at the tip, probably by the blade of the man's own lightsaber. That, too, was no longer as it should have been. Ben now carried a cross-guarded saber, its shape and construction unlike any Rey had ever encountered; but she knew it wasn't the trademark of a Jedi. Its plasma blades burned a furious red, unveiling the monster and cause for all of the death and destruction that stretched as far as Rey could see._

_She tried to wrench herself free, but Ben's grasp was unshakable. She screamed again at the top of her lungs, and it terrified her more that Ben only continued to stare down at her, as if he wasn't seeing her much at all._

" _What have you done, Ben?" she wailed, her voice—and heart—fracturing like already fragile shards of glass. "Why? WHY?"_

_Ben only stared without blinking. Then he made a decision and dragged her forward against her will, pushing through the downpour, past rocks, and over dead bodies. Rey dug her heels into the mud to try to prevent them from going any further, but her strength was simply no match for his._

" _Stop!" she pleaded, her pleas quickly reaching the point of hysteria. "STOP! Ben, no! STOP NOW!"_

_He wasn't listening. Either that or he couldn't hear her. His gaze was straight and narrow, unyielding to her adverse efforts and unblinking in his aim. It took Rey being lugged across the hilltop to the other side and up a short, slippery slope to understand where they were headed: towards a small, unoccupied shuttle. All sorts of flying equipment and ships were stored on this part of the island, usually for training purposes; but not tonight._

_Rey panicked and pinched Ben's wrist. He didn't so much as flinch. "LET ME GO!" she shrieked wildly and began using whatever physical means she could to pry his hand from her arm. "LET GO OF ME, BEN! PLEASE! STOP!"_

" _Stop this, Ben," came that of another, its register much sterner and commanding than the little girl's._

That _finally brandished Ben's attention. He swooped around so fast that Rey was left dizzy on the spot. One of his long arms flew across Rey's chest, and, with the other, he brought his red saber dangerously close to her neck. Rey whimpered in fear but was relieved to see Master Luke. His presence brought her to tears._

_Master Luke approached, stepping out of the brush, and Rey immediately noted his worrisome limp. His trusty droid, Artoo, was at his side and communicated to Rey not to move. Her teacher removed his dampened hood and Rey was rattled by the deep lashes etched across his cheeks and neck that shouldn't be there, as well as a severe cut above his left eyebrow. He had apparently tried to fight off Ben from harming his students but found himself well matched by the raging sixteen-year old. His robes were muddied and torn in spots and his mechanical hand was barely still in position. It weakly grasped its lightsaber that was drawn but not activated._

" _It's over Ben," he said, sounding fatigued and defeated; it knocked the wind out of Rey's lungs to hear those words. "You've done your worst. Let Rey go."_

" _No!" Ben growled, his arm curling tighter around her tiny frame._

" _Just what do you intend to do to her now? You've done all you possibly could, Ben; you've spilt enough blood this night! Please...I'm begging you, let her go. Give her a chance."_

" _NO!"_

_Master Luke made brief eye contact with Rey, and she was only slightly alleviated by the collectedness to his otherwise vacant expression. He started another step forward and Rey was abruptly lifted into the air, with a hand that had only ever touched her before in kindness and love coiling around her vocal cords like a snake. She writhed and gasped for breath, clasping onto his hand to tug his fingers back._

" _Don't come any closer! You let me take her away from this place—away from everything that's happened here—and I'll provide her that chance!" Ben bartered, the Darkness twisting and poking against the precipice of Rey's innocent mind. "Come any closer—or try any stupid mind manoeuvres of yours—and I'll squeeze what little life is left out of her!"_

_Somehow, despite the horrors of the situation, meditative Rey sensed the underlying lie that betrayed Ben's words. She couldn't be sure if Master Luke was convinced, though, particularly as he watched little Rey teeter on the edge of consciousness, her vision coming and going as she fought to make out her potential saviour and Artoo against the fierce rain._

_Master Luke's eyes darted back and forth between the helpless girl and his unhinged nephew and evidently concluded that Ben might very well make good on his threat. He reluctantly stepped backward, indicating wordlessly that he would comply, and Ben relinquished his hold. He placed Rey back on the ground but she collapsed against him, wheezing and nursing her sore throat. She no longer had the fighting ability to struggle against Ben and, thus, was easily shoved onto the shuttle and strapped into the co-piloting seat._

_Seconds later, the shuttle roared to life and took off into the sky, providing Rey only a short, parting glimpse of Master Luke on the ground. She had never seen him overcome but, on this night, he fell to his knees in a heap of anguish. He made a desperate reach for Ben's and Rey's shuttle, arm trembling as it outstretched itself to them, though not because of the wind or rain. She thought she detected tears in the man's eyes as they stole away into the night, but the memory then cruelly faded, and meditative Rey was suddenly thrust out of the past and into the present without another moment's pause._

_Rey wasn't aware of her heavy breathing or shaken expression when she came to. Master Luke was solemn and quiet in front of her, awaiting his apprentice's reaction; but Rey could hardly grasp at words. "How...?" she started and stopped herself, requiring more time to find her voice; it was quivery and fragile once she tried again. "Did you know...what he would do?"_

" _No," Master Luke answered, and Rey perceived his genuineness on the subject. "My predecessors had their misgivings about Ben back then. It was a sensitive point of contention during our many late night conversations but...I refused to give up on him. I_ couldn't _give up on my own nephew."_

_Rey's eyes fell to the floor, pained by the remembrance of such happy memories she had once shared with Ben. The pain was sharp, like a blotched wound being split open again to bleed anew. "What became of me after that night?"_

" _I don't entirely know. Ben would."_

_Rey's attention came back to Master Luke, still seeking. "Did you look for me?"_

" _For a time, yes, until word had incorrectly reached me that you had been killed."_

_Rey's eyebrows rose in surprise. "You thought I'd died?"_

_Master Luke nodded, his remorse transmitted by a burdensome sigh. "_ _Yes. I thought it was Ben who'd done it in the end_ _. I should have kept up the search; I should have pushed on to try and find you despite what I'd heard but... My hopes—my dreams for the future of the Jedi and for Ben and for you—were hanging on by a thread after that night. When I heard you were gone and that Ben had joined the First Order, I... I lost all hope. I gave up and I'm sorry, Rey."_

 _At once, Rey took the old man by the hand. "It's not your fault, Master. I... I'm sorry, too." Her troubled mind turned to Kylo Ren—_ Ben... _—likely lagging about somewhere outside the hut and her expression stiffened. "Did he wipe my memories?"_

_Master Luke shook his head. "I don't know, Rey. Perhaps out of guilt, and after what you'd seen him do, he might have."_

_Rey knew she needed answers. Despite the possibility of a splitting headache after all the information she had already received, Rey slipped her hand out of Master Luke's, rose to her feet, and strolled out of the hut in search of resolution._

_Darkness was falling fast—the sky was now a vibrant purple and starting to turn black—and Rey knew that, if she wanted to find Kylo Ren_ (Ben...) _more easily, she would have to make a speedy chase of her search. She scouted the landscape, squinting for any signs of that enormous silhouette on the horizon. Luckily, she didn't have to scan the area for long. Ben was standing at the hilltop's edge, his sights turned towards the ocean. His onyx robes swirled about as he kept tugging on them in order to ward off the cold. The temperature was swiftly dropping, so Rey wasted no time._

_Rey approached him guardedly from behind, allowing her Light to make her presence known before her quiet footsteps did. He didn't turn his head to acknowledge her, but Rey suspected that he was aware that she was there. Finding that his negative energy was passive, she chanced stalking closer, until she was standing right alongside him. He had removed his mask, allowing her the privilege of observing his profile. She followed his straightforward gaze towards the crashing waves, though, preferring their companionship at first to that of her cryptic companion._

_Rey didn't know what to say, really, for she hadn't exactly planned out how she would confront him about all she had seen. She didn't necessarily_ want _to be combative with him, for that matter; not anymore. She found herself gazing out at the ocean for quite some time, neither she nor Ben speaking but, at the same time, not causing havoc or grief to one another's personal space. It was a welcoming improvement to their previous prickly encounters._

_Then Ben punctured the silence with a soft-spoken question, "Did he show you?"_

_Rey turned to him, but Ben's gaze remained forward and unchanged. "He showed me enough, yes."_

" _What...?" Ben rephrased his inquiry, his right cheek muscle twitching uneasily. "Did he show you what became of the temple?"_

" _Yes."_

" _And of your peers?"_

" _Yes."_

" _I see." Dark eyelashes turned towards the coarse, sandy beach below, but Rey's sights lingered on Ben's profile._

" _Where did you take me after that night?"_

" _Jakku," he replied matter-of-factly. "That wasn't my intention, but I thought Snoke might express an interest in you if he sensed that you were on board. I panicked. I searched out remote planets that I figured his senses would never think to penetrate or reach. I chose Jakku."_

_Rey instinctively leaned closer. "What was your original intention with me?"_

" _To get you as far away from me as possible."_

 _Rey cocked her head in bafflement. "Away from_ you _? But... You took me—"_

" _So long as you lived," Ben patiently explained without looking her in the eye, "there remained a chance that Snoke might discover you. If he knew of your Light and of your connection to my uncle, he'd hunt you down. Master Luke couldn't protect you, just as he can't protect you now. I thought I might be able to...give you a chance; a chance that would have been easily forfeited long before had you'd been left under the protection of my uncle."_

_Rey's shoulders tensed in realisation. "A chance to disappear."_

_At last, Ben turned his head, his too pasty countenance grave but also, to Rey's breathless surprise, significantly open. "Yes," he whispered back._

" _A chance to forget I ever knew you, the Force, any of this life."_

" _Yes."_

 _Rey frowned. She had come to an understanding, to be sure, and yet, the truth was souring and dissatisfying now that she held the gravity of it in her hands. She swallowed hard, softened eyes searching Ben's rather haggard face._ _The man was still a murderer, responsible for the deaths of goodness knew how many._ And yet... _Rey wasn't aware that now, as she stood at the edge of the cliff, and after all the turmoil this supposed villainous 'stranger' had caused her, he was no longer 'Kylo Ren' in her mind. "Why did you do it?" she asked, sudden tears welling up in her eyes. "Whatever promises he made you, Ben, you could have become something else; something far greater than what he fashioned you into."_

" _No," Ben insisted, though his rebuttal was exceedingly gentler than any address he had bestowed on her previously. "I had little chance of becoming anything other than what I am, Rey, and that, in short, is too much for anyone else to bear. I understand. I will forever be torn between both sides. I can't be one and whole without the other and my Darkness has always been stronger."_

_"You're lying, Ben."_

_"I'm not. The Dark Side has honed and enhanced my powers; it didn't create them."_

_Rey's frown lengthened. "I don't believe that."_

" _No? You should. You have that potential, too."_

 _Rey reared back but wasn't swayed. "Even if I_ do _hold that power inside of me, I couldn't... I wouldn't want to..."_

 _Ben's subsequent smile was faint and, sadly, all-knowing. "And_ that _is where you and I so greatly differ. You chose the Light, Rey, and you'll choose it every time."_

_Flustered, Rey reached out and seized Ben's wrist. She wasn't mindful of touching the man whom, only an hour or so ago, had still been vile and untrustworthy to her. "You could have been saved—"_

" _Don't let my uncle fool you with that nonsense. We only have the ability to save ourselves. My path was engraved in me from the time I was a boy. I was influenced by the Dark Side, yes, but I made a choice. My uncle...my parents..._ you _couldn't have prevented what I became."_

" _You still have the potential to save yourself, Ben, and I'll prove it to you!"_

" _Why? You hardly know me," he dismissed with a strained sort of chuckle that broke Rey's heart. "I'm a murderer, remember? And all I've done to you is try to force information out of you and then strike you down—"_

" _I knew you once." Rey couldn't account for where such newfound, unwavering belief in this man was coming from, but she didn't fight off the words that poured forth from her lips on that life-changing night beneath the surfacing stars. "You could have killed me that night you destroyed the temple, but you didn't. You could have disposed of me, left me for dead on the island, or handed me over to your callous master, but you didn't. You could have finished your uncle but you let him live. You could have tried to kill me on Starkiller base months ago, but that wasn't your aim._

" _You wanted me to remember." Rey's eyes brightened with sudden enlightenment, her realisation affirmed by Ben's subtlety giveaway reaction. "You hoped you'd awaken what was inside of me, and you did._ That _'s the Ben I knew. None of this gross mutation you've taken on in his stead; that Snoke moulded for you and has made you believe is your true identity."_

" _Rey—" Ben seemed to warn, backing away slightly, but Rey wouldn't give in. It hadn't occurred to her yet that he had begun addressing her by her name, as though no time had lapsed; no stolen memories._

" _You're a Solo. You have a family and a past and a name that is wholly and truly yours, Ben. You'll never be Snoke's; no matter how much you fight for it." She paused, surveying him thoughtfully for the first time. "That's why you're here."_

_Ben's eyes narrowed, defensive. "You don't know why I'm here."_

" _I do now."_

_Silence settled in light of Rey's admission. Both eventually grew cognitive of Rey's fingers still latched tightly around Ben's wrist. Rey awkwardly detached her hand and stepped back, momentarily distracted by her action; but Ben's now exposed expression couldn't conceal what she sensed of his true nature. She smiled, despite certain abiding apprehensions, and confessed as she eased back from the cliff's jagged rim, "I'm glad you're back." She forced her eyes to turn from him but they were recaptured by what he casually disclosed next._

" _Kai and Freja." When Rey fully turned, so did Ben. "That was your parents' names," he offered quietly. "Your father was a spy for the Resistance. That's why you lived on Mandalore; your father was assigned there to oversee surveillance of the First Order's business dealings and illegal transactions."_

_Rey made to suppress the unexpected knot at the back of her throat. "And my mother?"_

_Ben's jaw clenched. "She didn't know."_

_Rey lowered her head. "And what became of them?" she asked with some hesitation._

_Ben, too, was tentative in answering, "They died...about six months after you arrived on Ahch-To. From what I remember, your father's guise was compromised by a betrayer to the Resistance. I was with my uncle when he received the news. I'm sorry."_

_Hours ago, Rey never would have expected an apology from this individual, let alone for them to be carrying on the conversation they were having. Yet, it felt real and without an agenda. She smiled again, this time appreciatively, though her eyes were watering. "Thank you."_

_Ben bowed somewhat awkwardly and resumed his gaze of the sea. Rey lingered a moment longer, wondering if he might join her in walking back to the hut, but the frigid breeze proved too much for her to wait and find out. She headed back to the sleep-inducing warmth of the hut, arms wrapped protectively around herself._ _She wasn't as tense as she had been at the off and breathed a sigh of relief as she opened the door._

_There was much to digest, and even more about to change._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 14**

_"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."_

—Plato

**Present Day**

**(Deep Space)**

"Easy, Chewie. We don't want to surprise them just yet."

Chewie grunted and obligingly eased back on the clutch, bringing the Resistance's stolen Proclamation cruiser to a much slower speed post-hyperspace. The enemy's Star base—a dull, silvery moon with no natural light force (or ounce of human dignity, for that matter)—was within reach but nearly invisible on their radar; a mere speckle against an endless black vacuum.

Chewie sat back in the pilot's chair, awaiting Master Luke's next commands. He trusted the Jedi's guidance indubitably, though, so far, Master Luke had been most vague on the details of their rescue mission. He had spent the majority of their short route towards the Star base in quiet reflection, stroking his wiry, salt and pepper beard on occasion and barely uttering so much as two words.

Chewie wasn't even sure how they were going to bypass the Proclamation's heavy security shields, since Master Luke hadn't offered forth any solution to that problem yet. _That_ was going to become a kink in their plans soon enough, though, and made the angst-ridden Wookie fidget with his paws.

Ultimately, lack of a solid scheme wasn't new to these seasoned rebels but their objective was concrete, even if their plan of attack was flimsy. All Chewie had had to hear from Leia was that Ben, Rey, and the children were in trouble and, in the next instant, the Wookie had strapped himself into the pilot's seat and, without a second's pause, placed his furry life in the hand's of an old friend whose existence, until only recent years, had been wiped from every corner of the galaxy.

He suspected that Han would have thrown a hissy fit with Chewie for involving himself in such a recklessness charge, especially when it contained the very real probability of getting his hide shaved clear right off. Then again, Chewie also knew that his late co-pilot would have been readily at his side for all of it, despite his reputation for incessant griping when it came to the sensitive prospect of helping others.

His family was in danger and the Solos were Chewie's kin, too. Thus, Chewie would participate in whatever perilous strategy that awaited them, and he hoped his old pal might be with them today. They could certainly use all the help they could get.

A familiar hand came round to gently press the Wookie's shoulder in comfort. "I'm glad you're with me, Chewie," Master Luke quietly confessed from behind. "I could really use a friend's helping hand in all of this after all."

Chewie offered him a similar expression in his own language. He directed his gaze ahead of them, ears alert and paws ready to steer. The Wookie's nerves jumped when a Proclamation guard suddenly clocked in on the airwaves. "Shuttle No. 4218, identify yourselves!"

"Steady, Chewie," Master Luke insisted when Chewie proceeded to let out a strangled whine.

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Ben's fast-paced gait fumbled at the top of a flight of stairs that led onto the Second Level. He cursed beneath his mask, irritated by his own damnable, unsteady legs giving out without warning. That resulted in his quick reflexes grabbing the nearest wall to maintain his balance.

Despite that unanticipated blunder, he pushed on, making a sharp turn to the right and stalking across the winding corridor to wherever it may lead. It stretched on for what felt, to him, like miles, and he ignored all of whom he passed—Stormtroopers, various other ranking militia, prototypes—his aim narrow and exclusive. He needed to hunt down an astromech droid as soon as possible and hadn't expected the convoluted expedition that followed since leaving Amidala's cell in pursuit.

So far, his desperate search had taken him across two levels of the Star base, with no bloody astromech droid in sight. Why was there none available to him when the situation was dire? Ben would have cursed his rotten luck, too, were there any time to feel badly for himself; but there wasn't. He rounded another corner and then another, the crooked and unsatisfying pathway he pursued seemingly endless.

Finally, after what felt like ages, he spotted his desire: a silver and red astromech droid gliding off of an elevator. It was accompanying an officer of no importance to Ben. He marched up to the pair of them, his massive likeness a flurry of antagonising black. "I need your droid," he stated simply.

The nameless male officer, with a youthful-looking face and troubled eyes, drew back in agitation. "Well, he's needed on the bridge—"

"I don't care what your instructions are," Ben growled through his voice contraption; the menace it produced saw the officer springing backwards. " _I_ need him now."

"S - Sir," the officer consented with caution. He easily stepped aside so that Ben could step forward onto the elevator without issue.

Ben swirled around and commanded the droid to follow. It obeyed him with a few fickle-sounding beeps. A couple other individuals who had intended to take the elevator to another level as well scurried away of their own accord, none wishing to share an enclosed space with the obviously irritated commander. It was just as well, for, at this point, Ben would have readily used the Force choke-hold on any who dared to get in his path.

Once the elevator doors shut, Ben terminated its descent by pressing the Standby button and crouched down to be at eye level with the seized droid. "I need you to provide me a copy of the map of our Star base, droid. _Now_." The droid beeped and gave a nervous sway. Ben angled his head, taken aback by its boldness. "Yes, I'm aware that that information is highly classified. Do you know who you're speaking to, you useless bucket of grease? Now, give it to me before I decide to make metal scraps out of you!"

Several frantic beeps and fidgety twitches later and a small chip spurted out from the centre of the droid's computer system. Ben swiped it from the prototype's grasp and shoved it deep inside one of his pockets. "I shall have to wipe your memory of this," he issued with some delight as the droid slid backward to avoid him. "Wouldn't want you blabbering about this to anyone, would I?"

With the touch of a couple buttons, Ben reprogrammed the droid's data collection. Then he rose to his full height, Force-opened the elevator doors, and not-so-charmingly ordered the droid to "get lost". It slipped away along the curving corridor, bopping rather gratingly as it went.

Ben spared himself only a moment to catch his breath. He now possessed a map for his family's use. _Something I should've gotten to them last time!_ his conscience jarringly chose to tack on to his achievement. There had been no concrete plans for Rey's and the children's first attempted escape, however. This one would have to be particular and precise, if it was to be pulled off with any success. _Or there will be no getting out of this mess for any of us..._

Not alive, anyway.

With that sobering reminder tapping at the back of his distraught mind, Ben swallowed his reservations and forcefully carried on. He pressed the elevator button to take him to his next destination, which would be much trickier than retrieving the map had been: recovering Rey's and Amidala's lightsabers.

The faintest tap of the Force drew suddenly close to him, its source reaching out from beyond Ben's peripheral vision. It wasn't Rey's or Amidala's or Astrid's Light calling to him this time, though, and Ben's body tensed as the elevator began its smooth descent. _Son of a...! Not_ now _!_

*** * * * * ***

_Sleep evaded Rey that night, as well as the next several nights in a row. Not that lack of sleep was any sort of a shocker to her usual highly-wired brain; or overly active nerves. Little rest was the norm, but too much of a buried past to digest, mixed with messy, unresolved feelings for a one complicated Ben Solo were new to the former scavenger's sketchy sleeping patterns. She could use with a heavy dose of that deep-penetrating hypnosis the fallen Jedi had placed her under a couple nights before her entire world had swung on its axis, leaving her dangling and thirsty for more answers._

_Then again, it was exceptional to Rey that she would even consider allowing the man known as the notorious 'Kylo Ren' to perform hypnosis on her again when, only days ago, she didn't trust being alone in the same room with him. And none of her reasons had been invalid either._

_Yet, the 'monster' was no longer its deranged and senseless counterpart, as Rey had been led to believe. No, to be sure, he_ was _still that awfully misguided slayer of the fear-mongering First Order—Rey wasn't kidding herself that a large chunk of Ben's swapped personality wasn't in need of being stripped from him like layers of festering, rotted skin—but the 'monster' was something else now. He was some_ one _, rather. He was human. Terribly flawed and debased of the promise he had the potential to become at one time, yes, but that foregone tangibility still lingered inside, burrowed beneath the rage-filled soldier with the machine-like mentality—and brutality—he had chosen to act on instead._

_As Rey came to ponder obsessively (and kept herself from sleeping night after night), she had witnessed various glimpses of the old Ben Solo for herself in recent months: in the marvelled manner with which Ben regarded her when she summoned Master Luke's lightsaber at Starkiller base for the first time; how he had tried to lure her into permitting him to teach her rather than fight and potentially slaughter her; how he had spared her life after battling her a second time upon his arrival on Ach-To; how he had grappled for a mere fraction of her Light as though he would drown without its luminosity; and how he had spoken to her the other evening, collectedly and without an angle of his own, feeding her whatever information she asked of him and without any pressure to do so or to comply._

_Yes, Ben Solo was still in there, enshrouded in Darkness, irrepressible despair, and a maddening sense of barbarity._ Merciful Heavens, does he have his work cut out for him _, Rey wondered, overwhelmed whenever she thought on the enormity of the path that lay before him now._

_It would most definitely take more than persistence to pull Ben back to the Light. Rey was learning fast, and in only a short span of time spent with the man on the island, that he was, aside from having a heavily eschewed belief system about the ways of the Force, horribly sick in the head, which translated to a number of self-afflictions that left Rey bewildered and paralysed._

_They were 'coping mechanisms', as Rey would swiftly come to recognise through Master Luke when, the day following her revelations, Ben refused to tend to the minor injuries he sustained during their first combat training session together. Rey had been nervous to duel Ben a third time, in spite of his slightly softened demeanour, and she made a point to never let her guard down for a split second as they practiced fighting each other in the dirt._

_Initially, Ben integrated the techniques he, too, had learned as a young Padawan learner but it wasn't long into their session that he was reverting to the more hostile methods he had adopted as a warrior of the Darkness. Each move was strategised, yet far rougher and cutting than the Jedi way. Rey kept pace with Ben's fierce moves but it was a challenge not to acclimate to his less honourable form of fighting, if only to win. She was grateful for Master Luke's calm interjections whenever they were offered, in which he corrected her footing or swing or stance on a whim, thereby forcing her mindset back to where it needed to be._

_In the end, neither won the battle, and Rey earned a couple of her own markings from what proved quite a gruelling match. She and Ben sparred over his stubborn refusal to see to his banged up left leg afterwards. Blood was oozing from an ugly lash left by Rey's lightsaber, which had singed the fabric straight through to the skin, and yet, even as Ben struggled to walk without limping and hissed under his breath, he refuted Rey's or Master Luke's interventions._

_'The Dark Side yields its power through pain,' Master Luke explained as they watched Ben hobble away to nurse his pride back to its full strength. 'Only from constant suffering can one recognise their potential.'_

_Well, if_ that _was the cost of gaining power and so-called prestige—refusing others' aid and letting oneself potentially bleed to death—then joining the Dark Side was 'bonkers', in Rey's humble opinion. Who could be persuaded to live in such a constant state of misery, both physically and mentally? Not her._

_Still, these were early days and fresh encounters with the Dark Side for the curiously-driven Padawan, and it would take more than one observance of the Darkness' craft to come to any level-headed understanding of its unremitting debauchery. She had more than a number of questions to pose to Ben on that very subject and hoped he would be open to receiving them...in time._

_One of many hurdles that kept staring Rey down, however, no matter how much she reflected on the sweet, caring boy from her youth, was the wistful death of Han Solo. The memory was excruciating enough to relive; analysing Han's killer was far worse, knowing the emotional connection they shared. How could Ben bring himself to do something so utterly inhumane and unforgivable? To take a life was deplorable, but murdering one's own father was incomprehensible. No matter what the smuggler might have done in the past to screw up his child, nothing could account for him being killed by his only son._

Why, Ben _? Rey would pose, with unrepressed heartache, over and over again in her mind, most often once night fell._ Why did you do it _? Why_?

 _At first, Rey couldn't justify why it haunted her so, aside from how quickly she had formed a fatherly attachment to the aged rebel fighter; but with peculiar, inexplicable feelings for his son also surfacing, Rey was determined to seek counsel from the source itself. An answer wouldn't come to her at the speed of a shooting star, but Rey_ would _piece her puzzle together one by one, along with the twisted paradox that was Ben, beginning the fourth night following the revelations of her past._

 _Rey had been curled up on her mattress for several hours, focused on her breathing and trying to empty her weary but too active mind as usual when she heard it—_ him _—stirring in the next room. At first grumpy and disoriented by the disruption, Rey opened her eyes and groaned. She rolled over in the direction of the noise, which was muffled and incoherent. It was coming from Ben's room—that much was clear—and, as Rey listened more intently, it grew more distinct as her senses awakened._

 _Rey's spine soon went from curled and relaxed to straight as a column. The noise sounded like..._ Crying.

 _Rey bit her inner cheek. Was she so knackered at this point that she was hallucinating Kylo Ren—_ No, Ben... _—weeping across the meagre stone wall that divided their rooms? Surely, she must be._

 _Rey slowly eased herself onto her elbow and then onto her hip._ Perhaps not. _The stifled cries weren't ceasing. Rey contemplated what to do, if anything. Did he think she was asleep and couldn't hear him? Did he even care if she_ was _listening in?_

_Although conflicted, Rey made a decision and kicked off the two blankets keeping her warm, clinching one as a robe that she wrapped around her shivering form. She tiptoed to the frayed cloth that separated hers and Ben's rooms and noiselessly pulled back the curtain to peer inside. She was stricken by what she saw: Ben, rocking on the edge of his mattress and pressed against the farthest corner of the wall. He was hunched forward and entirely coiled in on himself, concealed well within the shadows, with his knees pressed tightly to his heaving chest. His face was buried behind his thick, long locks, some of which were sticking to his dampened cheeks. He snivelled on occasion but didn't wipe at the tears that poured down his face, only made to suppress his cries by digging his teeth into his bottom lip. If he was drawing blood, Rey wouldn't have been surprised._

_Then he abruptly smacked the side of his head three or four times, using such volatile force that Rey was sure he was going to give himself a concussion. "_ Ben _!" she exclaimed into the night air, shaken by such self-hostility._

_Ben's sharp eyes met hers, watery and overtly disturbed; but Rey's astute senses picked up on what lay beyond their depths as well: the overpowering breath of his torment—the waves of rage and self-disgust cloaked in resigned anguish—and thought her knees might give out from their oppressive weight. She staggered into his room and over to his bed, kneeling down onto the mattress to sit by his side. She clutched the closest part of him within reach—his wrist—and, when he didn't swipe her away or appear as though he might lash out, she gently tugged his hand away from his face and cradled it against her thigh. Ben didn't blink or divert his gaze from her, only stared on, seemingly half-crazed and half in awe._

_"Don't do that," she whispered, her voice a touch unsteady but still powerful. Ben blinked, unfollowing, and Rey softly added, "That's not how we deal with our problems."_

_As she suspected, Ben reacted defensively. He swooped his hand out of her clutch and hugged himself tighter still, turning himself away from her to stare at the cold stone wall instead. Her expression was considerate—too sympathetic, to Ben's discomfort—so he purposely kept his gaze on the rough stone, his too large, bent frame clouded by shadows. "Leave me alone," he grumbled. His round ears were flushing red and he was relieved that Rey couldn't identify his humiliated blush in such darkness._

_Rey didn't obey that order. "I think you should meditate and try to get some rest..."_

_"_ I _'ll decide what I need, thank you," Ben countered through a compressed jaw, but Rey didn't back down._

_"You're clearly in pain." She unmindfully leaned closer. When he still wouldn't meet her eyes, she reached out and affectionately gripped his shoulder. He shuddered under her touch. "Ben, if you want to turn things around, reverting to old coping mechanisms that only fuel your suffering won't work."_

_"You don't know anything about what I'm going through!" Ben spat between his teeth, but the abnormal tremble to those words betrayed him. "Please. Leave."_

_Rey insistently kept her eyes levelled with his and, once reassured that she still commanded his attention, she shook her head back and forth. "You're not going to push me away again, Ben. Not this time." She caught the flicker of something that crossed his face, amidst the faint moonlight seeping through his bedroom window. It was either fright, trepidation, or both, but its glimpse, along with Ben's tears, affirmed for Rey why she was here, why Ben had returned, and why, perhaps, their remarkable paths seemed destined to intertwine once more. "I'm going to help you."_

_Ben's eyes flickered, laden with apprehension. "You can't help me, Rey. I've told you—"_

_"You're right, I can't do it for you; but I_ can _help you to help yourself."_

_There was a stiflingly pregnant pause, broken only by Ben's uneven breaths. Finally, he posed a hard-hitting question to her, his expression riddled with distress and uncertainty, "Why?"_

_Rey wasn't exactly sure of the answer herself. She swallowed and settled for squeezing his shoulder, stating simply, "Because there's good in you, Ben. I've felt it, and I want_ you _to recognise it again in yourself."_

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

"He was interrogating the child, you say?"

The young officer nodded his head in adamants to that exchange of information. "Yes, sir. Then he went to the mother's cell and dragged the girl in with him."

General Hux cocked his head, eyes alight with sickening curiosity. "Did he elaborate as to why?"

"No, sir." The rookie blushed, embarrassed, before divulging rather reservedly, "Commander Ren was getting more and more frustrated with my line of questioning, so - so I took my leave and came straight to you."

"The Supreme Leader already intends to interrogate the mother. What possible motive could Ren have for overstepping Snoke in this regard?" It was a rhetorical question intended for the general to deliberate for himself rather than for the clueless officer to answer, who continued standing sheepishly in front of his superior with baited breath. After an extended moment of silence, General Hux's attention returned to the officer, hard-nosed and resolved. "You may resume your post, Arkwright. Inform me at once should Commander Ren—or anyone else—attempt to enter the family's cells again."

"Yes, sir!"

Officer Arkwright hurried away, leaving a contemplative, chin-stroking General Hux to formulate his next move. A devilish smirk spread across his lips once his net was ready for casting. "Captain Lascius!" he hollered to his Head of the Stormtroopers; she had become Phasma's replacement after the First Order's final defeat at Zygerria.

Captain Lascius, dressed in the same distinctive salvaged chromium as her fallen predecessor, stepped forward from her post before a three-dimensional map of her legion's scattered posts across the galaxy. "Sir?" she inquired, intrigued by the smile the general wore.

"Send your finest trooper-spy below deck, as it were. I need someone to keep a close eye on Commander Ren's next moves."

"Yes, sir, I can—" The captain abruptly cut herself off, stunted by General Hux's orders. "Wait, you want us to _spy_ on Commander Ren?"

"Yes, Captain. It would seem our veteran knight is up to something and I intend to get to the bottom of it, preferably _before_ the Supreme Leader arrives."

"But, sir, what has the commander done to warrant—"

"Leave that to my hierarchy of intelligence, Captain," General Hux snipped back, growing easily flustered with their conversation. "We don't want any hiccups from our own, do we? It's vital that the Supreme Leader's visit to Star base go smoothly and without interruptions on our end."

"I...understand, sir." Still utterly confused, yet not wishing to ruffle the beast's feathers further, Captain Lascius slunk back to her position, where she dispatched the order to her most capable Stormtrooper on base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Thank you to those who review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Thank you, again, to those reviewing! It's such encouragement to hear from you guys! I'll be continuing to catch ya'll up to Chapter 21, where this WIP is presently at on FFN. **
> 
> **I hope you all have a safe and Happy New Year!**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 15**

" _You need to spend time crawling alone through shadows to truly appreciate what it is to stand in the sun."_

—Shaun Hick

_Rey eased her dozing daughter into an upright position and placed her carefully against her chest. The baby squirmed a little in her arms but soon resettled herself comfortably, breathing softly on her mother's neck and not reopening her eyes, even as Rey proceeded to pat her back for several minutes more._

_Rey nuzzled Astrid's tiny cheek and noted the milk stain running down the side of her mouth. She gently wiped the remnants away with a smile and quietly hummed as she continued burping the girl safeguarded in her fold._

_Beside her, her husband snored at the ear-splitting level that he always did, particularly on his first night home from yet another intense spy mission: as bloody loud as the Millennium Falcon' s rip-roaring engine itself. It amazed Rey that any of their children—at least, when they were wee ones and required night feeds such as this—could sleep a wink alongside Ben when Rey could barely manage to herself. She glared at the enormous, lax form beside her, presently out cold on his stomach with his bare feet dangling over the edges of the bed, and anticipated that she wouldn't be returning to a dreamland anytime soon._

_Rey had been awake and nursing their third child for a half hour or so, but she hardly ever minded these sleep-deprived moments. They were precious to her, despite when she was dead tired and running on nothing but fumes. They were a heartfelt reminder of all she had struggled to find in her life: a sense of belonging; a family of her own._

_By some miraculous stroke of luck (Rey didn't believe in Fate), Rey had attained a warm and cosy home life since those lonely, isolating early days spent as a scraggy orphan on Jakku's desert terrain, where she had grappled to survive day to day by herself, without nurturing, parental guidance...or love. This life left her in a constant state of wonderment, for awaking beside a devoted husband and three healthy children who loved her left the Jedi needing to pinch herself just to ensure that it was all real. And it was. It was no longer a wishful fantasy that had lived for longer than she cared to admit in her head._

_Now that she had tasted its utter sweetness and completion, she wouldn't dare let go._ Not ever.

_Ben suddenly twitched in his sleep and mumbled something unintelligible, bringing Rey's wandering thoughts back to the present. She turned to the slumbering lump of a man next to her, who was mostly hidden beneath a pile of blankets, and reached over to brush a thick curl out of his closed eyes. They instantly fluttered open, though only halfway._

" _Mmm?" he moaned into his pillow, recognising Rey's touch in the darkness and quickly shutting his eyes again._

" _Hey," Rey whispered as she continued to run her fingers tenderly through his overgrown locks, "you were dreaming. Nothing bad, I hope?"_

_Ben grumbled what sounded like a 'No' and lazily roamed for Rey's arm. "Astrid go back down?" he asked once his hand found her waist, feeling safe and secured._

_Rey smiled. "She's here, love."  
_

_Ben's eyes lifted once more, silently soaking in what was, to him, always a breath-taking vision: his wife, with all her dishevelled hair tumbling down her back, dressed in a beige, see-through nightgown—it's one sleeve was drooped over a naked shoulder, which Ben found sexy as all getup—and angelic child snuggled against her for warmth and protection. He was too fatigued to full-out smile, but the appreciative expression that crossed his weary, dark irises sufficed for Rey._

_Although his entire body ached in protest, Ben rose onto his elbow and leaned in to properly kiss Astrid's forehead. The baby made a small squeak but remained fast asleep. He thoughtfully glanced at Rey, too, and his warm lips inched closer until they were ghosting over top of hers. She pushed back at once, deepening and prolonging their exchange. "I love you," he murmured once their lips parted. It was a sluggish, muttered declaration but profound, nonetheless. Ben then reclined into Rey, draped his arm across both Astrid's back and her waist, and fell back to sleep within seconds, snoring as obnoxiously loud as before._

_Rey snorted, amused, and rubbed a hand up and down his back. Ben didn't stir this time. She pressed a light kiss to the top of his head, her lips curling into a loving smile as she spoke softly into the darkness, "We love you, too."_

_She knew she ought to shimmy out of bed and return Astrid to her crib, but Rey no longer wished to move from this cushy, intimate spot between her husband and child._ No _, she thought before shutting her eyes and praying for a little bit of rest,_ I'm never letting go.

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Rey gently stroked the back of her daughter's head, bundling Astrid close to her chest like a possessive Boga fiercely protecting her young. The little girl had cried so much that she eventually wore herself out, succumbing to sleep in Rey's arms, but Rey's nerves weren't at all appeased or calmed. She had been on tenterhooks ever since learning of Astrid's mental turmoil at the hands of that bastard creep, Snoke. Astrid had been too worked up to explain to her all that had happened, but she didn't necessarily have to. The assumptions that formulated in Rey's mind were nauseating enough.

How had she allowed this to happen? How could she not have prevented it somehow? _After everything you knew that Ben went through as a child, how could you let it happen to Astrid?_ _Your own daughter!_ _How could you?_ she berated herself over and over in her confined cell, her arms unconsciously coiling tighter around her daughter as the minutes ticked by at a lead-footed pace.

There was no doubt that Snoke was out of hers and Ben's league. His terrifying skills in the ways of the Dark Side were unparalleled and grotesque. She had discovered the lengths to the maniac's debased mental and physical capabilities during the last war, when the restoring of peace to the galaxy finally seemed attainable. It had been Rey and Ben who had tried to take the Sith down simultaneously. Sure, it wasn't the 'Jedi way', with the aim to seek and destroy, but he _had_ to be stopped. There would be no peace for either her or Ben—or the rest of humanity, for that matter—if Snoke lived to fight another day.

They had been so close to achieving their end. In fact, they had thought he _had_ perished in the Great Fire at the Cave of Evil—Rey was sure of it; well, until she blacked out and couldn't remember much else—but, years later, she and Ben found themselves grossly mistaken.

Still, Rey argued with her overly zealous conscience, she _should_ have been able to protect her daughter from him. He shouldn't have been able to access her without Rey or Ben having so much as an inkling. _Especially Ben..._ she considered, saddened and dismayed. She could sense his mirroring guilt and despair, only its waters ran far deeper than hers.

Rey swallowed hard and shook her head. There was nothing to be gained by blaming themselves; or each other. Now that they were aware of the grave fact that Astrid wasn't safe—and, perhaps, Amidala, too—they would have to figure out how to outwit Snoke at his own sick game, a feat far more difficult than she wished to acknowledge. The reality horrified her.

_Ami..._

Rey, who had been rocking the innocent child in her arms back and forth, with increasingly discontented lines mounting across her brow and mouth, ceased moving. She waited a moment before crossing to the wall that adjoined hers and Amidala's cell and pressed a hand to the cold durasteel barrier. Inhaling a slow, calculated breath, she closed her eyes and focused on centring her spiralling thoughts. Every overactive nerve was pulsating like mad through her body, worry and agitation overwhelming her ability to think clearly. Rey slowed her breathing, wanting to smooth out those crippling anxieties that didn't wish to be assuaged before reaching out to her eldest in the hopes of receiving a response this time.

Once she felt relatively steady enough to do so, Rey pursued her daughter. _Ami? Ami, it's me. Please answer. What's going on? Talk to me._

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(D'Qar, Resistance Headquarters)**

"I - I'm terribly sorry, General!" Poe apologised through a gasp, brown eyes widening in shock at the words he heard echoing from Finn's mouth. He smacked his partner hard in the shoulder, forcing Finn to face him directly. " _What the hell's gotten into you_?" he hissed under his breath and seized Finn by the arm.

"Rey's in trouble and she's my friend, regardless of how that's changed!" Finn, in turn, shoved Poe back, forcing the pilot to release his grip. Poe stared on, both stunned and angry, whilst a heated Finn then returned his attentions to Leia, glaring the speechless general down a moment too long. "If something's wrong, I need to know what it is and how I can help."

Leia took a considerable moment to compose herself, eyes turning from initial shock to stoic reservation. Before she could open her mouth, however, Poe and Finn descended into a snippy, marital tirade that had other officials in the room turning to stare.

"Show some respect for the General, would you?" Poe demanded through clenched teeth, glaring pleadingly at Finn's profile.

" _Oh, would you come off it_?" Finn whipped his head sideways. "Why don't you stand up for me for once? How 'bout for _Rey_?"

Poe let out a strangled laugh. "You just burst in on our boss and accused her son of purposely putting his own wife and children in danger! Do you know how insane you look right now?"

"And what if he has?" Finn challenged, stepping dangerously close to an understated but infuriated Poe. "It's not exactly like the guy has an outstanding track record of being on the right side!" He turned to Leia once more, his expression turning from hard as stone to somewhat apologetic. "No offence, General."

Leia crossed her arms over her chest, but Poe clasped Finn's shoulders before she could speak up and whirled his partner around again. "You're being a hothead!"

Finn shot his lover an outraged look. "Oh, see, now why do you have to make this personal?"

Poe could no longer contain his exasperation and fired back, "Because you're embarrassing yourself _and_ me!"

"All right, you know what?" Finn pointed an enraged finger at Poe's chest. "You never were all that supportive of me and I would think by now you could at least—"

Poe rolled his eyes so hard that Leia was sure that her best pilot was going to lose them in the back of his head. "Oh, _right_ , spare me! You've been biased and accusatory about the guy for _years_ and just can't admit when you're getting it wrong—"

" _With all due respect_ ," Leia, at last, interrupted them, bringing the men's bickering to a swift, humiliating close, "I've heard just about enough about my son from the pair of you."

"Sorry, General," Poe didn't hesitate to offer forth immediately. He lowered his eyes to the floor, cheeks flaming red with shame.

Finn, on the other hand, made an awkward shift of his weight from side to side and scanned Leia's hardened face as he slowly forced out an apology of his own. "I... I'm sorry, too, General."

Leia kept her gaze steady and firm on him, speaking collectedly but with feeling, "You don't know my son, Captain Finn. You don't know what he's gone through or who he _is_ , really. Therefore, I expect you to leave all assumptions at the door to this station. There will be no further backtalk about my son in _my_ presence." She took a compelling step closer to Finn, who visibly shrunk at her advance, despite Leia's considerably smaller (and shorter) stature. "Do we understand each other, Captain?"

"Yes, General," Finn concurred, though he sounded a bit hoarse and uncomfortable.

"Good." Leia stepped back, satisfied, and relaxed her arms. "Do you require a Leave of Absence from your head post to cool down somewhere; or can I count on you to help with our next airstrike against the Proclamation?"

Finn's dark eyes brightened at both suggestions. He adamantly shook his head and straightened his stance. "No, General. My apologies, I - I'm cool now, I swear it! I'm ready to serve, General. _Please_ , I—" He abruptly paused and angled his head. "'Airstrike'?"

"I should hope so." Leia casually drew back again with her hands behind her back, her subsequent explanation rather vague and lacking in details. "We'll need every able body fighter, whether a Ground Trooper or a pilot, to help take out their main control centre, as well as the Starkiller base that we now finally have in our sights."

" _Both_ , General?" Poe piped up in surprise. He inched forward to stand next to his partner. There had been lots of organisation and planning for such a comprehensive strike over the past year, particularly in regards to the enemy's second Starkiller base, but there had been nothing set in concrete yet—at least, not to _his_ knowledge.

Finn's face livened with excitement briefly, though it, too, mirrored Poe's unravelling confusion. "You intend to go through with the plans to take them both out at once, General?"

"Now that we've secured a map to the inter-workings of the Proclamation's Starkiller base, yes; but I _need_ Ben and Rey for this to be a successful strike."

Both men's brows furrowed further. "When— _how_ —did you obtain that information, General?" Poe inquired for him and Finn, their mouths falling open.

"Two months ago," Head Major Brance informed the stunned duo, stepping in to aid Leia. Others, who had been standing by as the company's rapid, heated exchange unfolded before an entire audience, resumed their positions, seemingly going about their confidential business as if there had been no disruption.

"But... _how_?" Poe stressed, completely befuddled by this news. The Resistance had been trying to acquire such a map since Ben Solo first made mention of the enemy's plans to rebuild a Starkiller base years before.

"My son," Leia answered simply. She squared her shoulders and waited, sensing the atmosphere tense as Finn gave a discomforted look and Poe fell silent.

Head Major Brance continued, "We've been working closely to develop a few strategies before planning a formal meeting."

With that, Finn snapped. "We've no time for meetings! My friend," he quickly stopped to correct himself, "Our _friends_ are out there and in the enemy's hands! Who knows what they're already going through! We have to act _now_!"

"And we _will_ ," Leia assured him quietly. She reached out a hand to pat Finn's arm and he ogled her, not following. "You forget, Captain: this is my family; _my life_. We can't act until we know that they're safe; that's why I sent Luke and Chewie on ahead to try to intervene, if they can. We can't go through with these plans without Ben and Rey here.

"I have no intentions of sitting idly by and letting anything happen to them." Leia paused, the lines marking her face drawing heavier. "I've lost enough for one lifetime, Captain. I'm making every effort to get my family back and in one piece."

Finn grunted, shifting uneasily. "Erm, yes, of course, General. I - I didn't mean to imply that you weren't—"

"Of course you didn't." Leia's rather clipped response was all the cue Finn required to remain silent. "Now, if you'll excuse me, the Major and I have a great deal more to work out before we can get a move on. Poe, we could use your expertise about how to best breach Starkiller's core. Have a look at that map and tell us what you think." Poe nodded eagerly and sprinted into action, following Head Major Brance's lead to the centre of the room. Finn stepped forward as well, desperate to be of assistance, but Leia lifted her hand into the air, commanding him to stay back. "Once we have something affirmative, Captain, you'll be informed."

"But, General—"

"I understand you're quite the flyer now?"

Finn blinked, taken aback by Leia's compliment; or was it complimentary? "I, erm, yes, I suppose so..." He nodded towards his partner feet away, his regard glowing with pride. "Thanks to Poe, I mean."

Leia acknowledged Finn's gentler address with a half-smile. "We'll be relying on those skills soon enough, Captain."

Finn toughened his posture. "Yes, General."

Leia started to walk away when something stopped her in her tracks. Although reluctant to engage further, she turned to Finn and stated, somewhat unwillingly, "Perhaps when Ben and Rey get back—when this nightmare's all _finally_ over—you might consider just...getting to _know_ my son a bit, Captain. If you knew half of what..." A stifling pause later, she settled for shaking her head and sighing. "In any case, I'm sure _Rey_ would appreciate it if you'd give him a chance. Consider it."

Finn watched Leia stalk away with eyes lowered a fraction, feeling conflicted and abashed about his prior actions. Poe was right: he _had_ embarrassed himself. (That didn't mean some of his suspicions surrounding the character and intentions of Ben Solo were suddenly unfounded but, for Rey's sake—and to any chance they might have of rekindling their fractured friendship—perhaps he _did_ owe it to Rey's husband to understand him a little better, as the general suggested).

Then again, if miracles did occur and that had a prayer of ever happening, Finn declared for himself alone that he would do it for Rey _._ Not for the cad who nearly slaughtered him. _  
_

*** * * * * ***

_Ben stared at the gruesome cut on his hand, though it wasn't unsightly to him, and who else besides him cared if he bled, after all? The crimson, lifesaving liquid sunk into a deep-seated crevice in the middle of his palm but kept dripping down his hand, running the length of it and onto the side of his wrist, where it then seeped into the fabric of his clothing, staining the material._

_Ben cared not. He had worn the same black coverings since founding the Knights of Ren; since kneeling before Snoke and declaring his undying loyalty to the Dark Side. Blood couldn't re-colour Darkness; it wouldn't blotch out the starkness of his attire nor the blackness within his heart._

Why the fuck am I still hanging around here then? _he decried internally, growling mostly at the cut's inconvenience. He should have been more careful scaling the cliffs with Rey today as part of their training._ But, really, why care? Injuring yourself doesn't change who you've become; it won't purge you of you are. You're beyond redemption now. You've done too much wickedness to turn back.

'' _Turn back'?'_

_Ben spooked in the grass and scrambled onto his hands and knees, hunched low like a fearsome Anooba ready to pounce. The area was undisturbed and still, dark and illuminated only by the full moon and stars dangling overhead in the night sky._

_Ben ignored the throbbing, stinging sensation in his hand for the moment. After several heart-pounding seconds, all he could still discern, aside from his own laboured breaths, was the tranquil crashing of the ocean waves onto the shoreline a steep drop below._

_Perhaps he had hallucinated the voice._ It wouldn't be the first time you couldn't differentiate between dreams and reality. _When he slowly eased into an upright position, however, he finally heard the voice again, so close, so sinister, and yet, so far removed from him._

_'Why would you turn back? Are you not my dedicated student; a pitiful excuse for a replacement to his grandfather's thwarted destiny; to whom I've devoted my precious time and years of service to seeing that destiny fulfilled?'_

_Ben gulped down the fears prickling the hairs up on the back of his neck, though not with much success. 'Yes, my Master,' he transmitted in return, waiting with bated breath for whatever horrors were to befall him now._

_He didn't understand how Snoke had managed to slip through the gates of his mind undetected. He was normally so steadfastly cautious when it came to Snoke's perusals—to the point of paranoia, in fact—and usually picked up on the Sith's energy whenever the sly dog attempted to eavesdrop on his private musings. The moment he had unintentionally let his guard down, however, it seemed all of his meticulous efforts could come crashing down upon him. Seconds would determine which way the wind blew._

' _Then what of this 'turning back' you speak of?' Snoke pried for answers. He may have sounded languid and disinterested, but Ben knew that that was anything but the case. 'You have much explaining to do, Ren.'_

' _I...'_

'Where have you been _?' This time, his register carried an eerie, low snarl that rustled through Ben's nervous form like the breeze rippling through his hair._

' _I've been scouting the outer rims for any trace of the girl and Luke Skywalker as ordered, my Master.'_

' _And have you found them_ yet _?' Snoke sounded highly frustrated, which didn't boast well for Ben. He suspected the Supreme Leader would eventually grow tired of this false strategy of his, though that portion, of course, was meant to be ambiguous to the Sith's knowledge; but Ben had hoped to hold off any of Snoke's imminent wrath for as long as he could. Alas, it was never long enough._

' _No,' came his wary answer._

 _A tense moment of silence followed. 'You disappoint me, Ren. You are a_ repeated _disappointment to me. What am I to do with you?'  
_

_'I... I'm sorry, my Master—'_

_'Apologies are worthless to me, as are_ you _becoming.'_

_'I've received a new lead and am following up on it at first light,' Ben blurted out fast. 'I believed General Hux and Lucien Ren were fully capable of overseeing any First Order business whilst I'm away—'_

' _Why should you follow up on any lead at first light, my sorely dim-witted Apprentice?'_

_Ben hitched a breath. Either he was determined to be the lousiest double-crosser in the early stages of this too perilous game; or Snoke would simply deduct that Kylo Ren was a pathetic but necessary replacement to ensuring the continuation of Darth Vader's legacy. 'You're right, my Master. I'll leave straightaway—'_

' _I've heard this all before, Ren. Tell me something_ useful _, if you want this to work to your advantage.'_

_Ben's spine stiffened at the clarity to that warning. Thinking fast, he rattled off the first semi-lie that came to mind, 'I believe Skywalker intends to return to the Resistance soon. I sense he has a renewed will to fight, as well as a new apprentice to succeed him.'_

' _The girl?' The scepticism in Snoke's all-knowing voice unnerved Ben. He hated bringing Rey any farther into the fold of this mess, but if Snoke wasn't already aware of Rey's direct role in his uncle's return, he would figure it out on his own soon enough. If Ben didn't throw the Sith a bone now while he had the chance, he would only regret it later._

' _Yes, my Master. Unless... Have I been mistaken in my perceptions?'_

 _Ben had never been well-suited for playing the part of humility, but, at this disastrous point, it couldn't hurt to try his already bad luck. He awaited Snoke's response and nearly wondered if the Supreme Leader had chosen to cut ties on their telepathic communication when he hissed into Ben's head a few moments later, 'No, but this is not useful to me, Ren. Let's try this one more time, shall we? Your stupidity will receive no further leniency but this once. What do you intend to_ do _about it?'_

' _Hunt them down and destroy them before they can reach the Resistance,' Ben responded instantly, hoping for some sliver of relief._

_'Yes...and the general who oversees our enemy's every combative move?'  
_

_The right side of Ben's mouth twitched. 'Destroy her, too.'  
_

_'She's your mother.'  
_

_'She means nothing to me, Master.'_

' _And your uncle?'_

' _He means nothing to me either.'_

' _And the girl?'_

_Ben chewed the inside of his left cheek. He had a sudden urge to wretch and dug his fingers into the dirt to keep from lurching forward to empty his stomach. 'She means nothing, Master. She is meaningless, and she will lament siding with the Light and our enemies.'_

' _Then you'd best take care of them, my blood-thirsty Apprentice, and quickly, too. I'm tired of waiting. I'll be anticipating a different report next time I check in on you.'_

 _The slightest tingling of invisible fingers—frigid and old and unwanted—swept across the rims of Ben's ears and then vanished. Ben unfurled his shoulders and hung his head, exhaling deeply with minor relief; but then the excruciating pains began, initiating in his lower back and spreading through the rest of him like an uncontrollable fire. It was fast, furious, and erratic, spinning Ben onto his back. He clamped his fingers deeper into the soil, desperate for something solid to cling to; but none of it lessened the pain, which carried on into the next hour or so._ _He lost track of time, but Snoke was unrelenting in his fury and heinous disappointment._

You can do this, _Ben tried to remind himself again and again._

 _Choosing to deceive the most cunning of Siths would very likely cost him his life—_ However worthless it may be! _—but Ben figured that he had nothing left to loose anymore except himself, and he didn't hold out much regard for the near lifeless reflection that had been staring back at him for so many years. He knew he wasn't worth saving, but he couldn't deny or fight the Light's power any longer. It's sheer will and want with him was too strong, with no thanks to Rey, and he was weak._

So, so damn weak but... You _can_ do this.

 _In truth, Ben didn't believe a word of such rubbish, but it wasn't going to discourage him from giving life one last try._ _With any luck, the way forward might prove a brighter path before all was over and done for him._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Hmm, well, I hope people aren't disappearing again... There seemed to be a couple active readers here over the holidays...**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

  


**Chapter 16**

_"She unwrapped herself like a fragile gift, and placed herself in his hands."_

–Jose Chaves

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

_'Ami? AMI! ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!'_

Rey raced back and forth within her confined cell, holding tightly to Astrid in her arms, who had awoken from her short slumber due to her mother's bumpy pace and rapid breathing. Rey's worrying energy ricocheted off of the walls, playing against the intuitive Jedi's growing anxieties.

Something was most definitely awry. Rey knew she ought to halt all efforts at reaching her daughter and meditate to calm herself, but she couldn't stop the fretting from spiralling further and further out of control. A host of horrific conclusions only a panic-driven parent could visualise were playing on repeat in her mind, for it was most unlike Amidala not to respond to her when prompted. _Especially in_ this _situation!_ She would readily take her moody daughter telepathically snipping something nasty at her, if the result meant that nothing was, in fact, wrong. _Nothing outside of the mess we're already in_ , Rey bemoaned internally. None of her communications were going through, however. Was Ben attempting to reach her, too; or, perhaps, had he done so already? _No... I'd have felt it._

"Mummy, what's wrong?" Astrid piped up, and Rey, at once, ceased pacing to peer into her littlest's large, brown eyes.

"Nothing, love," she fibbed, casting Astrid a reassuring gaze. "It - It's nothing."

"Are you worried about Ami and Han?"

Rey didn't have the heart to lie about _that_. "Yes..."

"And Daddy?"

"Yes, love."

"Me, too, Mummy. When will we see them?"

"Soon, sweetheart." In truth, Rey had no idea when—or if—that would occur, so she mindlessly stroked her daughter's long, sweeping curls and stared desperately at the barred durasteel door, wishing it to open of its own accord. It hadn't budged at any of her Force efforts thus far, though; even Ben's powerful skills couldn't penetrate the enemy's wards anymore. Their advances in weaponry and barriers in order to keep out their adversaries—or, in this case, keep them contained—had improved alarmingly since the fall of the First Order.

"When will Daddy be back, Mummy?" Astrid asked, her arms coiling tighter around her mother.

"Shortly, Astrid. He'll... He'll be here soon." Unknowingly to Rey, her voice had begun to quiver under the weight of the many reeling, hopeless thoughts that were contaminating her mind.

Something else was hovering nearby, too, watching but not engaging. Rey had strong, sickening conjectures as to who it likely was, but the figure was acting evasive and purposely tormenting her, drifting in and out of her Force visions like an apparition creeping through mist, never clear and never close enough to attack.

"Mummy?" Astrid's tiny, precious voice prodded Rey once more, and she automatically turned her head.

"Yes, love?"

Astrid forced out her button lip and whimpered softly into her neck, "I want Daddy to come now. I want to go home."

"I know, love; I know." Rey placed a protective hand against the back of Astrid's head. "We'll go home _very_ soon, I... I promise. Daddy will be here in a few minutes."

_'Mum.'_

Rey jerked and spun at the wall, causing Astrid to jolt in her arms. _'Ami! Ami, where have you been? What's going on?'_

_'Don't.'_

_'What? 'Don't' what?'_

_'Mum, listen, calm down and don't try to talk to me anymore. You said yourself that it's far too dangerous. I'm fine.'_

Stricken by the lack of emotion Amidala conveyed, anger quickly swooped in to take the spot of motherly distress. _'Ami, you listen here—'_

 _'_ No _, I can't do much more of this,'_ Amidala cut in, speaking fast. _'I just wanted to let you know that I'm all right.'_

Rey tried to get her fluctuating emotions under better restraint but could sense herself losing the battle. _'What about your brother? How's Han? Is he—?'_

 _'He's fine.'_ There was a short pause, but before Rey could communicate another thought, Amidala pointedly asked her, _'Have you spoken to Dad?'_

_'Yes. He's off to retrieve a map and our lightsabers—'_

_'He shouldn't. You shouldn't have let him go.'_

Rey rattled where she stood, unrest churning the pit of her stomach. _'We have little choice, Ami! We need both to get out of here! What are you on about? What's—?'_

 _'I told you,_ nothing _!'_ her daughter exclaimed. Then her register went ghostly quiet. _'Just...trust me, Mum. I don't know what Dad's thinking, but it's not going to work. Just...find another way. And don't try to talk to me again, all right? It's too risky now.'_

 _'Ami, wait!'_ Rey felt her daughter suddenly disengage from their communications like a door slamming hard in her face. Her skin broke out in a cold sweat and, ever more terrified, Rey frantically reached out to Amidala again, uselessly clawing her fingers at the wall that separated her from two of her children. _'AMI! Ami, answer me! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?'_

*** * * * * ***

_"You're distracted."_

_"I_ know _that," Ben spat, grinding his teeth together. He tossed his head in the opposite direction of his (too) observing uncle, avoiding the elder Jedi's astute stare down. The discomfort and tension between the two clashing men was palpable as pacifying blues swatted and made to subdue nettled, fiery reds._

_"You should discuss it," Master Luke started to suggest before his words were heatedly cast aside._

_"Over my dead body."_

_There was a morbid sense of irony to that remark that set Master Luke on edge. He made to ignore it as much as possible, however, and offered nothing further on Ben's snapping, attempting to reach him by way of another avenue. "Do you wish to reacquaint yourself with the proper ways of the Force or not, Ben? The choice remains yours."_

_Ben turned a sharp eye on Master Luke and scowled openly. "Yes, the choice is my own, and my 'reacquaintance' doesn't involve you being privy to my every private thought."_

_"This is true, but how are you to regain your footing if you're not open and forthright with me? Something is obviously troubling you or I wouldn't bring it up. It's distracting our meditation."_

_"I have my reasons, and you have yours." Ben unfurled his long limbs from his cross-legged position on top of his rock and made to slide off. "I'll go meditate by myself, if it's too 'distracting' for you."_

_"Oh, quit being such a hot-head!" Rey snorted from somewhere behind him, startling Ben nearly right off his rock. She strolled forward and faced him head on, finding his expression vacant and unsurprisingly occluded, save for a few distinct lines of vexation that marked his forehead and the corners of his mouth._

_It admittedly still felt a bit backwards to consider Ben Solo her peer, as well as to address him by any other name than Kylo Ren; but Rey was adjusting quickly. The tattered black robes that his Snoke-moulded counterpart was so ominous for remained for the five weeks since his arrival on Ach-To and, even now, he reverted to wearing his mask on occasion, particularly during taxing mental exercises that made him more emotionally stunted or uncomfortable than the norm. He wasn't donning it now, but Rey sensed the underlying escapism that was so anxiously wanting to thrash Ben back into hiding._

_Despite his Knight of Ren attire and continuous susceptibility towards secrecy, a mutual respect had emerged to replace the shelf of fear and aggression previously established in their first weeks training together. There was little doubt that Ben considered Rey far more trustworthy than his uncle, but getting him to confide matters deeper than surface material was still one of their biggest hurdles to overcome. The belief in one another's good intentions was there, but showcasing any shred of vulnerability—most especially for Ben—wasn't at all easy to access._

_Not that Rey felt she could so swiftly condemn Ben for not opening up to her as she and Master Luke would like. She had her own misgivings and secrets to bear, and yet, there remained the hope that, by helping Ben in his slow, painstaking efforts towards absolution, she might also manage to let go of some of her own transgressions._

_"Whatever it is," she pressed him collectedly, "you should communicate what's troubling you. You need to become comfortable in confiding your feelings amongst those whom you trust."_

_"What, like you?" he immediately scoffed, but Rey could now decipher the alterations in his snarkier remarks: Ben was impatience with himself more than with her. "My uncle sideline you with that rubbish?" His dark eyes flickered disdainfully, moving from Rey to Master Luke to Rey again. Both peered back at their third party, put out by his emotional walls._

_"It's the Jedi way—"_

_"You can quit quoting yourself, old man. I've heard enough from you for one lifetime."_

_With that decisive put down, Ben held Master Luke's souring gaze a moment longer and then it was he who chose to leave. With a parting, disenchanted sigh, Master Luke slid off of his rock opposite Ben, grabbed his walking stick, and left his two ogling apprentices to their own endeavours beneath the setting sun._

_It was only once the Jedi Master was out of earshot that Rey hopped onto the same rock and took his place. Once situated, she stared Ben down with reproach. "At this point, you're just being annoyingly stubborn in refusing his guidance. You don't have to accept everything, Ben, but you_ should _accept most of it."_

_Ben cocked his head to the side. A few stray curls brushed against his furrowed brow and softened his otherwise provocative stare. "You don't know him as I do."_

_"That may be true, but you're holding out and that makes no sense if your intentions here really_ are _to retrain yourself to be a Jedi Master." She narrowed her dubious eyes at him, scanning inquisitively the length of Ben's strong face, which was startlingly worn for a man of...thirty? Thirty one? Rey didn't know how old he was, only that he was roughly ten years her senior. Yet, Ben looked alarmingly older than he should. "Why are you so headstrong when it comes to Master Luke? He_ is _trying to help you."_

_"You honestly believe that to be true?"_

_Rey reared back, ruffled by Ben's skepticism. "Have I any particular reason_ not _to?"_

_"Search your feelings, Rey." When Rey's expression only grew more puzzled, Ben reigned in his temper and sighed. His irises glimmered with that same undisclosed information but then it diminished, much to Rey's disappointment. "We have a history you wouldn't understand."_

_"Then try me." Ben averted Rey's attention, however, staring reservedly at the ground instead. "Look, you clearly don't trust him for some reason or other and I think, as a fellow apprentice, I have the right to ask why that is?"_

_Ben thwarted her efforts with a seething snarl. "It's none of your business."_

_"It_ is _my business since he also happens to be_ my _teacher as well!"_

_"He withheld knowledge of your parents and where you come from. He kept what became of you in your youth a secret, without any valid explanation for it. He never came looking for you."_

_"He thought I was dead, Ben. He assumed that you'd...or Snoke..."_

_"_ I _'m no excuse for that," Ben argued, still heavily disgusted. "My wrongdoings towards you are my own to bear. But_ him _..." His contempt of a scowl deepened. "Isn't all that enough to make you question his motives?"_

 _Rey took considerable pause to ponder Ben's question, though without his level of incense, and an optimistic answer soon came to her. "I don't believe everything Master Luke tells me, no, but I_ do _believe he cares about me and you and I have faith in him; or else I wouldn't be here...and neither would you, Ben."_

_Ben's eyes, again, gleamed with certain incitement. "Perhaps I'm not here on my uncle's account. Did you ever consider that?"_

_Rey's body went numb. His words may have been clouded but she could surmise their veiled meaning; or what she was feeling uneasy about concluding. She tried to disregard the sudden shiver that shot down her spine and kept her voice levelled. "Yes, I've considered it, but I would sincerely hope you came here for_ yourself _."_

 _Ben's expression was unchanged and didn't appease her. "This isn't about me. Perhaps it's not you or me who needs my uncle but he who needs_ you _."_

_Rey sucked in a breath. She wanted to fully trust Ben at this stage, despite the short span of time that had passed, but his deeply rooted prejudice where Master Luke was concerned was unremitting and underscored some of her confidence. "Me?" she settled for questioning in return, awaiting a more in-depth explanation._

_"You didn't honestly think he intended to teach you all this Jedi nonsense if it wasn't intended to be put to some dangerous test, did you?"_

_"Of course not, I'm not a bleedin' twat! And it's_ not _'Jedi nonsense', Ben! If that was really how you felt, you'd have stayed away from here, so why have you come back?"_

 _"Don't try to turn this around on me," he fired back defensively, shutting himself down from her as much as he could. "You know my uncle needs you to defeat Snoke. This isn't all about_ you _."_

 _"I... I never assumed it was. I_ know _what this is about."_

_"Do you really? Then quit giving him more credit than he deserves and stop denying what you are to him: a means to an end."_

_Rey's pretty face twitched with discomfort. "I'm_ not _in denial, Ben. And I don't believe I'm a 'means to an end' either. Master Luke cares about us, and I won't be facing Snoke alone. He's assured me of that."_

_"Of course he has." To Rey's growing distress, Ben gave an unhelpful shrug and more dismissive words that tore at her insides. "Perhaps his ultimate aim is to leave you to fend off Snoke. Alone. Have you considered it? He has a flighty reputation, as you know. He ran away from his responsibilities before and left them to others to sort out, my mother and father amongst them. The loss of the Jedi wasn't the first fight he fled from, and I doubt it will be the last."_

_Rey's face flushed with colour. "You're wrong!"_

_"Am I?" An unsettling smirk twisted the corners of Ben's lips. Rey could sense his energy toying with hers, phantom fingers grazing the outer recesses of her mind, wanting to penetrate farther to reach her shrouded consternations. He didn't exercise force upon her, though...yet. "You suspect it, too," he deduced moments later, prompting Rey to shift on her rock._

_"Stop this, Ben." She wasn't prepared for this and didn't care for where their conversation was diverging. She hadn't ascertained yet whether Ben was on the mark or grossly mistaken due to the dysfunctional family dynamics that existed, but she wasn't particularly keen on finding out._

_Unfortunately, Ben wasn't ready to back down. "What makes you so certain that he won't abandon you when the time comes?"_

_"That's enough—"_

_"What? It's a legitimate concern you should have, Rey, and every right to question him on. You don't think_ I _'ve contemplated what he'll likely do to you?"_

_"I'm shocked you'd spare a considerate thought for my welfare at all," she huffed with oozing mockery, to which Ben fell decidedly silent. "Was this your plan all along? To make me question Master Luke and my trust in him?"_

_"Don't change the subject," Ben snipped, giving her a measured stare. "You_ should _be thinking about it. He'll get your hopes up. You'll need_ my _help to defeat Snoke much more than his; he's unreliable and not who you think he is."_

 _"I would hope that that, too, is why you're here!" she pushed back, galled and more flustered than ever. "I would hope_ you _'d want to see that galactic monster defeated more than anyone!"_

 _Ben's upper lip curled back. "I_ do _wish that..."_

 _"Then who gives a damn how invested or not invested Master Luke is in all of this? He's preparing me, Ben! He's preparing_ us _! He would never—"_

 _"_ He's a liar and a coward is what he is _!" The miffed, negative reds lying dormant around Ben began to swarm, rising with intent to influence Rey's more passive energy. Rey safely drew back. "You'll come to see it in time as I have! I don't want you to be disappointed, Rey, and I fear you_ will _be if you don't seek out the answers from him that you deserve. He's brought you into something you won't be able to outrun or outsmart. And at the precise moment when facing Snoke will be dire, mark my words: he'll abandon you; he'll abandon us all."_

 _Rey had had enough. With little effort, she jumped from her rock to the ground in a flash. From below, she glared up into Ben's hardened countenance, bright eyes burning with unresolved conflict. "Get over your hatred, Ben, and maybe you'll_ learn _something valuable from him before it's too late; something that we both can use against Snoke when the time comes! Maybe you'll be_ better _because of his teachings, unlike in the past! You rejected everything he ever taught you and look where you wound up!" She stalked closer, craning her neck to stare into Ben's eyes, perceiving how they shielded her from full disclosure. "Maybe instead of fighting your uncle all the time, you'll work on coming back to yourself and to those who care about you! That's all your family has ever wanted for you—"_

 _"_ Don't speak of my family _!_ You know nothing _!"_

_"Well, the way I see it, if you fail this time, you'll have no one but yourself to blame!"_

_"_ If _I fail," Ben rebuffed with equal feeling, "it will be in not successfully helping_ you _to defeat Snoke. It has nothing to do my cursed family! That's my only value for sticking around this wretched island!"_

_Rey felt her blood run cold. "I... I don't believe that! That's not it!"  
_

_Ben's eyes were disturbingly frigid as he stared down his broad nose at her. "Yes, you do."_

_"Quit speaking for me, too!" She threw up her hands. "I don't believe that! I_ know _there's good in you, Ben! I've felt it; your uncle's felt it; your mother's felt it, even after what you did to your father—"_

 _"_ I said, don't speak of them _!" Ben jerked backwards as if Rey had physically struck him, but Rey was too wound up to yield._

_"Why? You think not admitting to your past transgressions will help you to heal?"_

_Ben avoided Rey's all-too-shrewd look over, and his voice was quieter when he whispered in reply, "I... I can't go back."_

_"You're a deflector_ and _a liar!" Rey dug a pointed finger into one of Ben's bent knees. "Don't refer to your pull back to the Light as some sort of bloody weakness! You_ never _wore the Darkness as Snoke desired! You'd_ never _have made him proud or Darth Vader, for that matter!"_

_"Stop it, Rey," Ben hissed without looking at her._

_"You know why? Because he knows as well as_ I _do that that's_ not _who you really are! You were never bred for Darkness. You'd like to think it—Snoke would like to, too—but you repel it and that bloody paralyses you!"_

 _"_ Enough _," Ben warned her, his tone low, yet much more riled than before; but Rey wouldn't concede._

 _"Snoke, Master Luke, me—we all have a better handle on you than you do! So stop fighting your uncle, Ben; stop fighting_ me _! Accept who you are. And accept that you want the Light as badly as I want it for you!"_

_Ben found reason to pause. His head tilted towards Rey, no longer in indignation but in stumped curiosity. "You do?"_

_Abashed by her choice of words, Rey finally silenced her tongue. She was too hyped and too humiliated to answer back and, in turn, resorted to what had often worked before when faced with revelations she would much rather avoid: she ran. It didn't take long for her fast-paced gait to morph into a maddening sprint across the top of the hill. She bounded down the other side, disappearing behind thick brush, trees, and walls of lined stone._

_Ben never took his sights off of Rey until she had completely vanished from view. He had received the clarity he so desperately, secretly, yearned for, and yet, the verdict was somewhat inconvenient: Rey wasn't, in fact, offering him a helping hand out of some misplaced moral obligation or, worse, pity, as he had feared might be the case ever since she had discovered him sobbing during the night two weeks ago. That was a relief, and yet..._ She _does_ care. _Ben's mouth sunk, wishing but unable to disguise the painful awareness that was draining his energy fast._ And she's rightfully horrified.

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Ben rushed off the elevator, daunted by the unexpected additional Force presence but nonplussed by the sudden appearance of an overly eager female officer who hastily descended upon him. "Commander Ren!" the young lieutenant shouted as she adjusted her stiff, grey suit, increasingly uneasy the closer she approached her formidable superior. Ben kept a reserved stance, suspecting what the woman was about to tell him before the words tumbled out of her mouth. "The general wants you on the bridge immediately! One of our missing cruisers has been picked up by our security shields."

"What does he expect _me_ to do about it?" Ben all but barked through his mask's voice contraption, balling his hands into fists at his sides. _The nerve of my uncle..._

The lieutenant swallowed nervously, taken aback by the question. "I... To inspect it for any potential passengers, sir, I would presume?"

"A few Stormtroopers can surely see to that task, Lieutenant."

"But, Commander," the lieutenant started, quite uncomfortable with Ben's combativeness, "the general's orders were specifically to—"

" _I'm quite busy at the moment_."

"Commander!" interrupted someone else, this time identifiable and male. Ben sharply turned in the direction from whence the voice had come and spotted the notable head Stormtrooper with shiny, black chrome attire and red shoulder pads as he materialised around the corner. In his hands he carried a long, heavy rifle blaster of his own design. Like Captain Lascius, he wasn't a typical Stormtrooper bred and programmed from birth to follow Proclamation commands and protocol. He was free-thinking and impulsive, which was never, in Ben's opinion, a solid combination for their ranks. Hux had hired him, though, so all Ben could do was accept the cad into their midst and try to keep his distance.

Ben eased back a step, cautious and incredulous as he emotionlessly greeted the officer. "Creed." He shoved his angst-ridden troubles for his family's safety somewhere deep within, where his perceptive competitor, untrained in the Force but more intuitive than most, couldn't unlock them for questioning.

"I couldn't help but overhear. My troops and I can accompany you in scouting the cruiser."

"Why would I have need for your services, Officer?" Ben made to inquire without sounding as suspicious as he felt. "Isn't searching a cruiser belittling and beneath your area of expertise?"

"Generally, yes, sir," said Creed, "but this cruiser has been missing for some time. I'd like to take a closer look at it myself."

"Do explain."

"It's been suggested that it was stolen by the Resistance and used for spy missions. It could very well be carrying passengers on board who may be useful to us."

Ben bit the inside of his cheek to keep from cursing his, as yet, unannounced uncle and Chewie out loud. No doubt the impertinent old man—or both he _and_ Ben's mother—had concocted this rash, mucked up rescue mission without consideration for the horrible dangers they were putting Ben and his family in. _If I knew any better, I'd say this was my father's retribution for everything I'd..._ Ben wielded in his racing thoughts and tried to think fast. If uncovered, Uncle Luke and the Wookie could spell doom for them all. _I don't have time for this! That's two more lives now to oversee! This is getting out of hand!_

"I see," Ben answered Creed, sounding impressively nonchalant. "Do we know for certain that it's carrying rebels?"

"Not yet, Commander. It's only just about to arrive on the bridge for inspection."

"Very well. I'll take your theory under consideration and seek your assistance should it be necessary." He then clipped at the lieutenant, who was standing idly next to Creed, "Have our troops already in the vicinity inspect the ship for passengers. I'll be along shortly to see to their findings."

"But, Commander—" started Creed, insulted at being so rudely dismissed.

"As you were, Officer, Lieutenant," Ben dispatched them in passing.

Without waiting another moment, he swept out of sight, not catching their highly displeased reactions, though he could perceive Creed's hungry want to follow him. _I knew it._ Ben sneered brutally beneath his mask. No one could see the emergence of that threatening derision, but the pulsating negative energy swirling about him scratched at the surface, pawing to go on the attack. _Hux, this will be your undoing, so help me. I'll ensure your end before my own comes._

Ben turned his efforts towards far more important matters, searching out any communications being transmitted from above and in the surrounding area as he stalked down another extensive corridor and then another. He could sense Rey's energy from afar, though it was fainter than before. She seemed to be fighting to stay calm, which unnerved him, for he had first taken notice of her unusual lack of control on the elevator whilst waiting for the droid to download the map. It had since worsened, but the farther he drew away from her cell, the more of a struggle it was to process her feelings. She was fighting not to reach out to him, though, and that made his own desperate desire to communicate all the harder to avoid.

Ben curled his gloved fingers tighter into his palms as he forced each leg in front of the other. He sought Uncle Luke next, who was present but his energy was too far off to fully assess. _Fool!_ A growl erupted at the back of his throat and his saber, secured within its holster at his side, vibrated with the quaking rise in his frustrations. _You're the last damn assistant I need right now!_

Ben flew past a couple droids and officials in uniform, continuing his private appraisal of the Force, and a dreadful realisation soon hit him in the chest like a punch. Unlike Rey and Uncle Luke, Amidala's Force trail had gone entirely cold. That, paired with Rey's mounting distress, brought Ben's feet to a screeching standstill outside the entrance to Proclamation's weaponry department, headed by some of the most mighty (and clever) droids the enemy had invented.

 _Ami..._ He couldn't risk reaching out to his daughter now—not with the slightest possibility that Snoke might intercept such a message whilst in route to the base—and yet, Rey shouldn't have been attempting communications with her either. As much as Ben wanted to be enraged with his wife's actions, he couldn't fault her for it; her frets and worries were his own, too. Something was undoubtedly wrong, scaring Rey enough that she was willing to jeopardise their escape by reaching out to their daughter in enemy territory.

Drawing in what he hoped would be a calm-inducing breath, Ben settled for the most cryptic telepathic message he could think of on the fly and shot it off to her at once: _'Don't think of doing anything stupid.'_ If the Supreme Leader was listening in, at least the message was twofold and might successfully be explained away. _'You're to mind yourself and what I've said.'_

Ben waited a moment, unrelieved when he received no answer or even a glimmer of his daughter's Force presence. Unwilling to press his luck any further, however, he marched through the three colossal, blaster-proof doors, which swung upward after scanning his body to identifying him, and entered. The doors cruised back to the ground soon after with a piercing _click_.

Then a detached, demon-like voice, soft and rich, cut through Ben's conscience like a swinging blade, _'Nonsense, Ren. Your commands are baseless. All is as it should be; or have you not made certain of it for my arrival?'_

It didn't matter that Ben was standing in a mostly empty rotunda, surrounded by walls of iron-clad deadbolts and gates for which only certain personnel and droids were permitted access. In an instant, he took a knee, bowing his head pointedly towards the ground. _'Forgive me, Master. I sought to reprimand the eldest offspring for what I suspect to be an uprising. Should she be considering adding more treason against herself and her family, I wanted to ensure that you were—'_

 _'Quiet, Ren,'_ Snoke interjected, showcasing an elusive but commanding air Ben couldn't figure out. He swallowed his reservations and waited, his knee pressing painfully into the hard, tiled floor. _'Show restraint, and take no further action. I shall see to the offspring soon enough as I shall be with you soon. You're needed on the bridge, I believe?'_

Ben rattled as he hastened to stand. _'Yes, Master.'_

_'Then you'd best be off, shouldn't you? What is your delay?'_

_'Nothing, Master,'_ Ben hurriedly answered but stalled where he was, hoping Snoke would sever their communications. He didn't, however, and Ben felt his heart—and hopes—plunge into his stomach. _'I'm on my way now.'_

It was excruciating to turn his back and retrace his steps out of their weaponry department and back to the elevator, but with Snoke figuratively breathing down his neck, Ben saw no alternative. He needed to get to his family and, at least, hand off the map to Rey before anything else went to shit. He swallowed thickly as he entered the elevator and pressed the button that would take him up to the bridge, his breathing stifled not by his mask but by a new level of panic and fear.

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

"Sis, what are you doing?"

"Breaking out of here!" Amidala exclaimed over her shoulder as she hastened towards the cell door, springing up from the floor with a sudden burst of energy that startled Han.

The boy observed his sister's flurry of emotions from afar, utterly befuddled by Amidala's seesawing demeanour. Moments ago, she had been taciturn and still, seated on the ground beside him and not uttering a word. Now, she was impatient and sputtering what sounded like dangerous stupidity. He scrunched up his nose, staring confusedly at the back of Amidala's head. "But you heard Dad! We're supposed to wait till—"

" _He can't help us now_!"

Amidala whirled around to face Han momentarily, and a look of foreboding crossed the boy's lightly freckled, handsome face that stayed put as she turned back to their cell door. To Han, his sister's expression was more than just prickly and cautionary, it was incensed and something not to be tolerated by their Jedi parents. He may not have known much about Force sensibilities, but he knew with certainty that Amidala shouldn't be acting this way.

Taking heed of her emotional state, Han rose to his full height but kept his distance. "How - How do you know that, Ami?" he prodded her gently. "Did Dad tell you or—?"

"Quit asking questions!" she clamoured without a backward glance. She placed a hand on the durasteel door and closed her eyes.

As unperturbed as Han was trying to behave, he blurted out, half laughing, half choking, "Don't you think if that was possible that Mum and Dad would have tried it by now?"

" _Han_ ," said Amidala, her tone now formidably impassive as she kept her eyes shut and her hand in place, " _shut it._ "

An infuriated flush spread across Han's cheeks. "NO! You know what, Ami? I have every right to know what you're up to! Dad told us to wait here until he gets back! You can't just open that door and—"

The door abruptly burst open with a loud _whoosh_ , undamaged, leaving Amidala's hand raised towards empty air. Han's mouth dropped in shock and awe. His sister had managed to decode whatever security measures that were keeping them locked inside, and yet, Han understood right well that she shouldn't have been able to accomplish such a complicated feat.

As Han's widened irises slowly met Amidala's, his expression turned from wonderment to horror. He took a shaky step backward. "Ami," he whispered, not trusting the sound of his own voice nor the baleful, darker colour that overtook his sister's eyes, "wha - what have you done?"

"I'm sorry about this, Han," came her soft, rather eerie reply, and Han caught a flutter of movement at her back. "I _really_ am."

Han lifted his arms to protect himself, but his reflexes weren't quick enough. "AMI, WAIT! _DON'T_!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N (cont.) : Thank you to those who comment...**


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 17**

_"She wears darkness as a queen wears a crown: proud, confident, beautiful and above all meant only for her."_

–Sophia Carey

_Rey heard the faint rustle of footsteps approaching from behind and snapped her head about, taunt shoulders collapsing once she caught sight of who was there. "Go away!" she demanded—grumbled, more like. She defiantly turned her back on her visitor and snatched a small rock from the pebbled walkway beside her, hurling it into the crashing waves one hundred feet below. Rey's legs were dangling dangerously close over the side of the cliff, but the treacherous drop didn't faze her. It would take a hell of a lot more than a fall to frighten her now._

_She had been here for hours, meditating, naturally, but also tossing and wrestling with her tireless emotions. Ben was the last person she cared to see in this confounded state. Wasn't he the blasted reason for why she found herself in this unnecessary conundrum in the first place?_

_"Make me," he provoked her, and the suggestion of a smile was indisputably nestled in that reply._

_Rey could sense him standing directly behind her and clutched at a few more stray rocks scattered in the grass. It was the only attempt at stopping herself from leaping to her feet, whirling around, and punching Ben in the face. She could practically hear Master Luke shaking a deriding finger at her whilst reiterating uselessly, 'A Jedi never resorts to violence.'_

_"I could," she replied between gritted teeth, "but I don't find it worth my while."_

_"I think you're afraid."_

_"I think_ you _'re afraid," Rey countered, infuriated with herself for rising to Ben's goading._

_"Of what?" There was a considerable pause. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours?"_

_"That's not fair, Ben."_

_"Why not? I asked you first."_

_For a moment, he watched the back of Rey's head, teetering between continuing to hover over her or taking a seat next to her on the ground. Ultimately, he chose to sit, one of his knees nearly knocking hers as he tried to make room for his immensely long legs. He could tell that she was weighing the pros and cons of his proposal and, thus, waited patiently for a decision._

_They sat in silence for a time, close enough to one another that brushing a hand or bumping a limb might be easily excused. Their energies charged and circled, aware of each other's presence but never coming into contact. There was no forceful pressing to speak or to confess what was on their minds, however._

_Still, the atmosphere was burdened by a certain unspoken uneasiness that strengthened by the minutes. Finally, Rey blinked, unmindfully pulled one of her suspended legs from the side of the cliff to her chest, and took a slow, calculated breath. "I don't pity you," she started and stopped, gathering Ben's energy's reservations that had coasted closer to the surface._

_Her words—defining, yet honest—seemed to shake him, but Ben made sure not to let it show upon his forcefully blank face. "As you shouldn't," he insisted in return, hardly breathing as he scrutinised Rey's every facial tick, from the slight, forming creases along her smooth brow to the unspoken words formulating in her eyes._

_She tilted her head, her gaze more thoughtful. "You_ do _want it, don't you?"_

_"Of course." It felt good to be forthright. Ben relaxed his upper body._

_The brisk, to-the-point manner with which he addressed those few questions had Rey somewhat bereft. Yet, she knew it in her heart to be true: he_ did _crave the Light, not just hers but for himself._

_Rey's reply caught in her throat, but she slowly pushed the words out, "Part of this becoming means letting go, Ben..."_

_A smirk broke at the corners of Ben's mouth, his voice laden with sarcasm when he said back, "You sound like him."_

_"I don't mean to."_

_"I know." He sensed her wanting to push, so he reiterated, softer than before, "_ I know _."_

_Rey, again, regarded Ben closely for a measured while without breaking eye contact. "I want to trust you."_

_"I understand why you don't." He offered the slightest smile that Rey perceived to be mischievous this time. "I wouldn't trust me either."_

_"You don't_ want _me to trust you is what you really mean."_

_"No, that's not true."_

_"Honesty, Ben—"_

_"I just don't expect anything." He shrugged his large shoulders. "I don't expect anything from anyone."_

_"But why don't you want—?"_

_"Because I hardly trust myself. It's all too...fresh."_

_Rey's eyes glistened in the setting sun. Then they turned away from Ben to ponder something else; something he couldn't grasp from her concentrated, guarded expression. After a time, they flickered and fell back on him. "Why did you turn?" That was a surprising line of question. "Was it all Snoke's doing—his manipulation and influence—or is there more to the story I should know?"_

_Ben reared back, feeling slightly off kilter, intimidated. "Why do you ask?"_

_"You needn't feel threatened," she maintained, sensing his energy's walls shooting back up to block her cautious advances. "I won't chastise you for how you felt at the time. Your reasons are your own, but how can I fully trust you if I can't understand where you're coming from?"_

_Ben's eyes, already stark in hue, somehow clouded still. "You won't like it."_

_"I can live with that."_

_"Can you?"_

_Rey tried not to let the flutter of nerves blossoming in her stomach surface onto her face. "Of course I can. I've seen the worst of you, Ben. Well, parts of it anyhow... Now I'd like to understand the rest."_

_There was another uncommitted pause and Rey wasn't, at first, certain if Ben was going to concede. It was a tall task she knew she was asking of him, but an important one in order to establish a new level of trust._

_Then she felt the Force extend its cautionary fingers towards her, much like a timid, weak-willed handshake. It floated closer, Light and Darkness tussling and fashioning into a misty, murky fog of coexistence. Inches from her, his energy hesitated, awaiting her permission to touch. When she granted it access, it was like unfastening a highly bolted gate and being thrust into a transporter, but the intentions weren't aggressive or pushy. There was a strange delicacy about it all, careful and deliberate of what it intended to bestow her._

_"You admire her," came a low, disgruntled hiss to interrupt the fragile moment, his voice tasting of bitterness and ash._

_"Yes." Rey saw no reason to refute her high regard of the woman in question: Ben's mother. There was so much brittleness and restlessness surrounding his thoughts of the general, much of which Rey couldn't make heads or tails of._

_"She's a master negotiator." His words were stiff, harsh, and yet, they brimmed with unresolved feelings he had yet to disclose. "Sickeningly pure of heart. Cold as ice if you wrong her. Like you." Rey held back a snort. "Gullible and domineering. She means well, but she always bites off more than she can chew."_

_Rey's eyebrows angled together, Ben's inner thoughts starting to merge and tangle with her own. Aware of it, she pushed back. "You think her a fool." Her voice, soft and unassuming, caught in her throat like a sail flanked by too strong gusts of wind. Ben's energy backed away, though it held its ground. "Naïve to believe she could save you...and faulty in being unable to recognise her own limitations. You hate and love her so. No..._

_"Her hope and forgiveness pains you most of all. You love her for continuing to care for you but hate yourself, as you do her, knowing that she shouldn't."_

_Ben offered no reply to these intimate revelations, but his energy flinched at Rey's gentle coaxing for more clarity. Her mouth twisted into a troubled frown before his eyes. "You thought you were alone... You thought it was meant to be: a helpless child lost in a deep, dark forest where the brush was too thick and the trees too high to get out. It felt like suffocating. A child who would grow to be the monster, left to strangle the best parts of himself in the forest he had been abandoned to..._

_"Yes...abandonment. She didn't speak to you about the 'monster', as you used to refer to him in those early days," Rey pressed ever so quietly, "about the eerie voices that kept whispering in your ear but you didn't always understand. They were relentless, terrifying, taunting and soft... Soft, like your mother. They encouraged you and never left you feeling wanting—not at first—but their aggression scared you. They embraced your gifts, and you yearned more and more for their approval. They didn't offer it freely. They told you all the things your father couldn't understand and that horrified your mother..."_

_Rey swallowed, transfixed but pained. "Once she knew of the monster residing in you, and had known all along that it had been speaking to you, you were so angry with her. You felt betrayed; hurt and damaged beyond repair. You saw nothing but fire when you looked at her. She had never acknowledged its presence; she hadn't done her duty as a mother to keep it from hounding you so. You were tired, you wanted to rest, but they left you alone with it all the time. All alone, all the time..."_

_Rey delved deeper, against Ben's nestling response, which wished to repel, turn, and run. A sneer broke out on his otherwise stone-cold, pallid complexion, and his breathing turned cumbersome and loud. "They hid you away. They said it was for your own good, but you knew... Oh, you_ knew _that they were afraid of you—your father could barely look at you when he learned of the darker connections you shared with your grandfather—and that terrified you even more. The mother and father whom you thought would save you from the monster seemed so powerless against it. Their weaknesses infuriated you. How could they be so unhelpful, so weak-willed? So many secrets..."_

_Rey's tone turned heavy and heartsick, as though her emotions were one with his. "You heard them whisper of you, their voices trembling with fear. They were always so afraid. Maybe the monster was inevitable. They'd go for weeks on end without seeing you, and you thought it was because of the terror you brought out in them; that you inflicted upon their lives._

_"Yes, you_ must _be the monster. And you felt trapped inside of yourself, screaming at the top of your lungs but Mum and Dad were nowhere to be found and they knew... Oh, they_ knew _you were scared and suffering, trapped in a silent void where only this 'thing' could find you. And it always found you..."_

_Rey despised the hollowness that had found its home in the pit of her stomach, now causing her eyes to burn. It reminded her of those petrifying, eerily still nights on Jakku, waiting—longing—for her family's return. The isolation petrified her; the never-ending quietude kept her unsettled and awake at all hours of the night. "It's so cold and lonely in this desert, empty space," she murmured, half to herself. "No one can hear you, only the monster; always the monster..._

_"How could Mum and Dad leave? She held you so close and kissed your cheeks endlessly until they were sore; but, in the end, she always left._

_"Were you so tainted, so repulsive and beyond saving, that the only cure was to go live with the monster instead?"_

_Rey's—Ben's—thoughts jolted and gave a sudden arch, turning caustic and passionate and vengefully purposeful like the igniting of a flame. "They didn't love the monster, so they didn't love you. Uncle Luke was a last ditch effort to tame the beast inside of you and if they couldn't love it, you'd become it. You'd catalyse those long-standing fears and be what left them quaking in their boots and shouting at each other in the dead of night; what made your mother weep in dark corners and your father turn away from what he couldn't bring himself to face: the son. You. The Monster."_

_With that, Rey eased out of Ben's mind, the last image that spun before her that of a pasty, gawky, teenage Ben Solo, with the same purple, dark circles etched underneath his eyes, haunting and lost, that had become permanent fixtures of a daily strife she, in some ways, unknowingly shared. Tears prickled her eyes. The present Ben seated in front of her was that same empty, wistful boy from years ago, and each inhale and exhale of air was forced hard through his flared nostrils._

_"They keep you up and turning all the time, don't they?" Her voice quivered. "Your mother... Your father..."_

_This time, there was no shutting down, no barking at Rey to withhold her tongue. Ben emphasised, with laboured acknowledgement, "Yes."_

_His affirmation was so spiritually hefty, yet faint to the ear, that Rey almost missed it. She leaned forward. "You don't hate them."_

_"No."_

_"And they love you with everything they—"_

_"_ Don't _," Ben warned._

_It was as though they had both been smacked across the face. Ben tore his gaze from hers, finally recoiling to protect what little stealth he had left, like a receding wave too far up the shore. Hunched forward, and with his head hung low, Ben convulsed and rocked back and forth, clearly wrestling to conceal the pain Rey had unearthed on him; an apparent agony he had spent many, many years stomping into submission._

_Unfortunately, the revelations Rey now had in her possession had Ben lamenting his own actions. He was through with this hazardous, emotional tug and pull exercise. He wasn't aware yet—and neither was Rey—that she had clutched his wrist at some point during the experiment, and was still holding on with all of her might._

_"You're afraid and_ that's okay _, Ben," Rey tried to reassure, enlightened by her new understanding about him, and prepared to speak in a comforting manner she hadn't used much of when it came to this man. "I was afraid for a long time, too. I... I'm still scared sometimes," she confessed under her breath, "but it gets easier. If you open up to your uncle, to me, to the reality of your fears, they'll go away. It's not simple; it's exhausting and gruelling and will take you to the brink most days but... It's well worth the struggle, I promise you. Don't allow your fears to dominate your life any longer. Confront them. Learn to let them go."_

_"I..." Ben visibly strove to speak, though with difficulty, and slowly blurted out, "I. Can't."_

_Rey unmindfully squeezed his wrist. "You're still that child. Snoke wants you that way: suffocating, afraid... It's how he manipulates and controls you. He uses your fears against you, Ben, don't you see that? You think he doesn't know how you weep for your father's soul, worst of all at night when you swear you can spot him in the shadows of your room? You don't think he isn't keenly aware of how you mourn your mother and the losses you brought upon her—"_

_"_ Stop _," he clipped with such scathing warning, letting forth a low snarl._

 _Rey didn't budge, however. Instead, she spoke with more urgency, "She loves you, you know. Even after...what happened. She hasn't given up on you. None of us understood why. But you're her son; you're all she has left, Ben. She hasn't seen Master Luke in so long that she's spent most of her time believing he's lost to her; more lost than you. You're her only hope._ You _'re why she keeps going; why she keeps fighting against everything you proclaim to be your salvation. She'll_ never _give up."_

_"Her gravest mistake!" Ben hissed in return._

_"But isn't she_ right _?" Rey argued, with feeling. "Won't you, at the very least, give her that? She knows you better than—"_

_"What does that matter now?" Ben whisked his hand free of Rey's grasp, every visible line on his face contorted in pain, in mooted anger. "What's done is done!"_

_"That doesn't mean you can't forgive just as she has."_

_Rey chanced a smile. Risking the ramifications, her slender hand made its way to Ben's shoulder. Unaccustomed anymore to being touched, he noticeably shifted under her gesture of compassion, though he didn't jerk back. It spoke to the underlying human tenderness Ben Solo had long forgotten, empathy as had been erased by the master who fed him. A mournful shudder escaped his lips and Ben quickly averted Rey's eyes._

_"She's already forgiven you," Rey reiterated, determined to reach her friend._

_"Well, isn't she the patron saint of motherhood." It was a half-prickly, half-crazed laugh but Rey didn't miss it's true colours: a son's cloaked remorse._

_"I won't ask you to forgive yourself, Ben. I... I'm not sure_ I _could forgive myself, if it was me; but_ do _try to forgive_ them _, won't you? We all make mistakes. None of us are free of transgression, including me. Don't let this torturous cycle continue as Snoke would have it. Lack of fear and forgiveness are your only way forward."_

_"You - You don't understand!" Ben pointed a shaky, accusatory finger at her. Then, as if thinking better of it, he let it drop to his side in defeat. That didn't stop him from sputtering, eyes watery and half-hidden beneath his wind swept curls, "Don't rob me of my hatred! Don't do it. It's all I've got left in me!"_

_"It's not all." Rey's hand inadvertently inched from Ben's shoulder to the back of his neck, bringing their faces closer. "Know peace for yourself, firstly, by offering it to someone else; to your parents. It's not such a bad thing. Forgive them so that you might heal yourself. Please?"_

_A lone tear escaped his eye before he could furiously wipe it away. "You said yourself that you wouldn't expect that of me." His lips formed a tight but wavering line. "Would_ you _forgive?"_

_Rey knew that she didn't need much time to embellish her reply with anything beyond a simply put, "I already have," that, in the silent moment that followed, left Ben utterly dumbfounded._

_"Why...why would you?" he asked in earnest, dark eyes circling her face, switching from shock to incredulity and back to shock._

_Rey was humoured, though her expression remained somewhat pained. It was one of many 'Whys' Ben had taken her to task on since his arrival to the island. "Because Han Solo was my friend and I refuse to believe that he died in vain; I_ won't _accept that that was all to be made of his life: the full and complete circle of your Darkness._ You _shouldn't wish that upon your father's soul; not for yourself or for your mother either."_

 _Her hand tugged on Ben's neck, shoving him closer until they were practically nose to nose. She could feel his uneven, hot breaths on her cheeks and ignored her blushing reaction. "Don't prove them wrong...or me. I think your father believed in your ability to turn your life around that day, Ben, and your mother still believes it possible. Therefore,_ I _'m choosing to believe there is still some good in you; that there's something better to be made from your father's death and your mother's sacrifices._

_"Forgive them, Ben, and prove it to everyone, but mostly to yourself, that it's never too late. You have nothing left to lose."_

_Ben and Rey stared at one another in silence. Finally, Ben was the first to breathe, releasing a trembling breath that left his entire body shaking and unsteady. His forehead unintentionally brushed Rey's, but she didn't shy away. His eyes shut, but hers—and her conscience—were wide open._

_"Rey?" he soon whispered. His voice was hoarse, breathless._

_"Yes?"_

_A short pause later, "It's my turn. Remember?"_

_"Oh!" Rey tried to unburden some of her jitters by chuckling at that, though it did little to assuage her inner anxieties. It was then that she noticed that Ben had not only reopened his eyes but his entire face had gone flush; even his protruding ears had turned a brighter shade of red._

_"Do you...?" He hesitated, the lines around his mouth bending and twisting, unsure, before he managed to probe the question that had been pressing on his mind. "Do you...like me?"_

_Rey shifted backward so fast that she and Ben clonked heads. She cursed in pain and tended to the sore area on her brow. "_ What _?" she gasped, with a grimace, staring Ben down as pointedly as she could muster whilst removing her hand from her likely bruised forehead._

_Ben's expression was equally disgruntled as he stared back at her. "You heard me."_

_Rey went rigid. The blush on her cheeks was spreading fast to the rest of her body. "What - What kind of a baseless question is_ that _? What do you mean by, do I 'like' you?"_

_Ben's eyes illustrated their subtle amusement. "It's just a question. I let you delve into some pretty intimate details of my life. All I'm asking you is how you feel about me."_

_"Well, I don't like that!" she spat before hastening to stand on her feet._

_Much to hers and Ben's horror, Rey's ankle twisted in her rather ungraceful attempt to walk away. She stumbled to keep her balance and would have taken a fateful fall over the side of the cliff had Ben not been present to catch her. She wasn't sure if she screamed, for it all happened in the blink of an eye, but, as speedily as she felt herself spiralling, she was hustled upright and standing on solid ground, feet from the cliff's dangerous edge. Enormous, warm hands compressed the width of her arms, too tightly for her comfort. She peered up into the freshly stricken face of Ben, both of them agitated and out of sorts. Their eyes were as large as saucers and each was breathing excitedly._

_With the dawning realisation of what could have turned into quite the disaster, Ben relinquished his grip, though he kept his hands wrapped around Rey's arms. She was the first to break the tension once she had regained her voice._

_"I..." she stammered, hating how her cheeks were burning._

_A suggestive sliver of a smirk drew across Ben's mouth. "I'll take that as a 'yes' then?"_

_The ire within Rey combusted at that provocation, propelling Ben backward with another impressive jostle of the Padawan's physical strength. She whisked a piece of loose hair out of her eyes and growled, eyes flaring with rage, "_ Shove off _!"_

 _Unhinging her further, and purposely so, Ben's smirk widened. "Then it_ is _a 'yes'."_

_"NO! You're despicable! I should have known you'd try to use my attempts at helping you against me! Forget I even bothered!"_

_"Why are you getting so heated?" Ben waved his arms at his sides and laughed. "You said it to me moments ago: is that_ really _such a bad thing; to like me?"_

 _"Oh, no, you don't!" she exclaimed, placing her hands firmly on her hips. "Sorry to disappoint you, you arrogant, disgusting dope, but_ no _!"_

_"If you say so." Ben's taunting bow, as well as the unmistakable, suggestive glimmer he wore, propelled Rey's final straw as he turned to leave._

_"Yeah, that's right!" she huffed, though her tone sounded unusually fickle for her; she hated it. "Just - Just go! Walk away! That's what you do best, isn't it? You coward!"_

_Much to her exasperation, Ben provided her with one last parting glance over his shoulder, his humour markedly no less undone by her words, and strode off at a leisurely pace. Rey kicked uselessly at some dirt at her feet, incensed and greatly turmoiled over such a question. She directed her livid sights towards the ocean, finding little comfort in the tumultuous waves._

*** * * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Ben—Kylo, rather—made an uncharacteristic stagger whilst existing the elevator shaft, cursing under his breath as he stepped onto the main level. He reached out a hand sideways just in time to latch onto the nearest wall, taking a moment to steady his balance.

"Sir?" a curious male officer chanced inquiring after the commander, albeit nervously. Seeing the daunting, darkly-cloaked Knight of Ren stumble and nearly topple to the ground had evidently startled him enough to speak up without consideration for the possible consequences.

As Ben's mask sharply met his innocent inquisitor, the poor officer paled, lowered his eyes, and hurried along to fulfil whatever his duties required of him, probably praying that he wasn't about to receive a physical backlash for his invasive questioning. Ben wouldn't have reprimanded the frightened young fellow anyhow, however,—there was simply no time to be distracted by his fake persona to attend to irritable, small matters that didn't directly pertain to the welfare of his family—so he took a few seconds to right himself and collect his thoughts. The unsettledness that had almost sent him arse over elbow confounded and worried him greatly.

 _Ami..._ came his swift, cognitive conclusion on what had rattled him so.

It hadn't taken long. Somehow, his daughter had already found a way to screw with his and Rey's escape plans—something reprehensible that she _knew_ to be wrong—though Ben couldn't yet figure out what that was precisely. The teen's Force defensives were remarkably combative and doing their job of shutting him out. Whatever had occurred in her cell below, it was powerful enough to trigger a reaction so gut-wrenching and remorseful in the youth that, for a moment, her feelings broke through their protective barriers and nearly brought Ben to his knees.

_Ami... What have you done?_

Scrambling to regain self-control and not panic, Ben glanced around him in search of any notable signs of distress or protocol activations. Since Ami had used her Force sensibilities mere moments ago, there was a viable chance that her abilities would set off the alarms attached to her cell should the outcome have been physically damaging enough.

No personnel suddenly started rushing about, however, nor did the intercom sound any alerts or announcements as to a breach in security. To Ben, this stalemate of sorts was both odd and slightly comforting, at least for the moment. He still had to figure out a way to retrieve his daughter's and wife's lightsabers. Snoke's earlier interference with his scheme, along with the un-expectancy of his uncle's arrival to base, had botched that up well before he could secure them. Now he had even _more_ personal matters to solve.

Half desperate and half too crazed to stop himself, Ben reached out to Ami as he marched closer to the main hanger, fully aware that Snoke was, in all likelihood, listening in on whatever telecommunications might be forthcoming from his apprentice. He forced his feet farther and farther away from where his heart would rather rush to: her side. _'Don't do anything stupid, you hear?'_ he instructed his daughter severely, warily. _'Stay where you are._ You hear me _?'_

There was no response. He would expect this of Rey; she was extraordinarily cool, even frightfully calm, in stressful situations, though _this_ —their family's imprisonment—was on another level of distress altogether. Still, she was far more astute and clear-headed than Ben when it came to reacting instantaneously to bad news, whether out of hysteria or concern. That was one of her many strong-suits and why he needed her to (hopefully) knock some sense into their eldest, whatever she might have gotten herself into. Amidala was too brash and reactive. 'Like her father,' Rey would often remind him, with a knowing smirk. That never felt more apparent to Ben than at this moment.

 _'Answer me!'_ Ben demanded as he whirled across a metal platform and hung a sharp left, moving ever nearer to the entrance. He could feel his emotional coils slipping and failing him the longer the silence sustained. There were no inklings or suggestions indicating that she might heed his desperate calls; or that she was hearing him at all.

Perhaps _this_ was what Snoke and General Hux were counting on, Ben had considered one too many times before: the mental spiralling and undoing of the most 'trusted' and 'steadfastly loyal' follower to the Supreme Leader. Snoke had put Ben to the test many, many times before, of course—emotionally, physically, spiritually—but the loss of control over protecting those whom he loved most (and whom he had done his utmost best to keep a secret from the Proclamation for many years), would be considered a delicious treat to the enemy.

Ben suspected that Amidala was right about one score she had raised in her cell that pertained to the sinister mastermind (not that Ben would have allowed her to become anymore distraught by acknowledging such things): the probability that Snoke knew _something_ of his incriminating second life was quite strong. There remained the slim, desolate chance that the all-knowing Sith had no suspicions as to his apprentice falling in love with 'the girl', whom he had sought to destroy through torment, suppression, and destruction for nearly two decades; that they had even married and had a family of three now, two of whom possessed Force capabilities that might eventually rival their parents; that Kylo Ren had turned his back on all of his master's teachings and forceful influence since he was a boy, lonely and aching for a sense of purpose and something greater than himself; that he had ultimately failed in every attempt to indoctrinate his most hungry student with hatred and darkness. Instead, that student had made a quiet, painstaking return to the Light, feeble as those efforts sometimes felt.

Snoke _might_ not know the entirety of Ben's story, nor the full extent of his true colours, but those odds were fading out of his favour more and more with each passing second, especially since Snoke had mentally assaulted both Amidala and Astrid in search of such damnable evidence, and without Ben's or Rey's ability to interfere before the damage was done.

Ben made to wash these shameful thoughts from his mind and pushed on towards Chewie and Uncle Luke, whose Force presence was gaining strength with every forward step. He ignored artless staff, Stormtroopers, and officers whom he passed in his wake, and they indicated no sense of anything being out of the ordinary. They gladly parted to give more room to the volatile-prone, fallen Jedi as he entered the main hanger, silent but terrifying.

 _The old man had better have a plan of his own for escaping this place_ , Ben slammed his estranged uncle internally whilst grinding his teeth together. The stolen cruiser, powered down and supposedly empty, was in the midst of inspection. A swarm of Stormtroopers were standing by and surrounded the ship from all angles. Three came strolling down the ramp to join their flanks, not appearing particularly fazed by whatever they had found.

Had they found anything? Where were Chewie and Uncle Luke?

Ben could spot no one inside the cockpit, but that meant nothing when it came to his two sneaky-prone relations. If they were attempting to hide, the ship was far too small and too cramped to conceal them. Perhaps a single trim man could find a place to duck out of sight, but not a seven and a half-foot tall Wookie.

 _Bad_ , he deduced all too easily. _This is all bad. They shouldn't have come._

Officer Creed suddenly appeared at the top of the ramp, marching in front of another Stormtrooper who took up the rear. Beside that Stormtrooper and placed in handcuffs was a fugitive, and Ben's suspicions immediately flared. Creed had overstepped his previous orders not to interfere with the inspection process— _Unless his orders came from Hux directly_ , which wouldn't have surprised Ben—and accompanying the Stormtrooper was none other than the Wookie.

Chewie vocally and physically protested the Stormtrooper's manhandling as he was pushed and propelled forward, fighting against his restraints, though not hard enough. Having a blaster rifle aimed at his side seemed to subdue the Wookie's objections, if only a little.

Ben wasn't fooled. He exhaled a tremulous breath as Creed, Chewie, and the unidentified Stormtrooper approached him and balled his hands into fists at his sides. _I have no fucking time for any of this._

*** * * * * ***

**Six Years Earlier**

**(Felucia, Outskirts)**

Ben leaned forward from behind a thick pillar that was blocking his view of a matter of importance, allowing the slightest tug of a smile to form where a series of wary lines normally resided. When it came to certain company, and this particular secluded place, there could be no let-down of the redeemed Jedi's guard. However, what presently had Ben beaming with unmitigated pride would have understandably made any father proud, particularly that of a Jedi parent: the sight of his preciously shrewd, hard-working six-year old mastering a few early exercises with a training lightsaber.

It was both humbling and satisfying to behold Amidala embracing her Force sensibilities as Ben once couldn't; or struggled to, rather. Rambunctious, all too eager to please, and a bit of a tousled mess by comparison to the elder, slower-moving Master Jedi who practiced duelling against her—the intricate braids Rey had put in their daughter's hair that morning were now windswept and coming apart, and there were bits of dirt spotting her flushed cheeks—Amidala and Master Luke took their time circling one another, assessing and targeting one another's movements.

Unlike Amidala, though, there had been a much darker, overbearing shadow that loomed over Ben's shoulder, pushing away his every studious effort to embrace the Jedi verse. Thankfully, there appeared no worrisome signs in relation to Amidala and her gifts; no lingering cloud that waited in the wings, hidden and obscure, intending to sabotage her efforts when Ben and Rey least expected it. She laughed often, smiled even more, and took heart in her instructions, shrugging off mistakes when they occurred and taking Master Luke's direction in stride. Her exercises had only begun, but the markings she was showing already had raised more than just her parents' eyebrows on several occasions.

Today was no exception. All of a sudden, the small smile that the visual of his daughter wielding a lightsaber coaxed from Ben dissipated from his face like a light switch. Observing quietly from his shaded, overlooked spot beneath the canopy of his uncle's crumbling hideaway, Ben spotted Amidala's miscalculation before the youngster did. She stepped out of an invisible perimeter to shuffle towards Master Luke. She slid to the ground just as Master Jedi rolled his left shoulder and blocked her advance. She missed his impending strike, but bringing herself to a knee cost her the visual of her opponent's next move. It was only but for a moment, but Master Luke proved swift and cunning in keeping up with his much younger pupil. By the time Amidala switched knees and twisted her body to strike back, his lightsaber had swung forward to meet her throat. He could have severed the little girl's head clean off her shoulders—were he a Sith or another adversary, of course—and the graphic notion that that abrupt visual evoked sent Ben sprinting onto the scene to intervene, long, powerful arms swinging furiously at his sides.

"Daddy!" Amidala exclaimed excitedly, eyes bright and cheerful as he approached; she apparently remained ignorant of the flash of fear and aggression that was manifesting on her father's face.

"Next time, Ami," Master Luke instructed, momentarily redirecting his Padawan learner's gaze, "turn but halfway. Remember what I told you at the start of these sessions?"

"'Never turn your back on your opponent'," she diligently repeated, nodding her understanding.

"Very good." Master Luke stepped aside to sever his lightsaber's connection, by which point Ben had reached his side. He was heaving hard and pinned his uncle with a near maddening glare. "Ah!" Master Luke greeted all too happily, turning his attentions to his distraught-looking nephew. "You're early! Her exercise isn't over for another twenty min—"

" _Just what do you think you're doing_?"

Master Luke's eyebrows drew together, perplexed. "What does it _look_ like we're doing?" he challenged, though with caution, offering no hint of being affronted by Ben's harsh questioning.

"You would _never_ have drawn your lightsaber so close to _me_ as you did to Ami just now," Ben spat low, trying to keep his temper levelled; the exasperation still trickled through his quivering voice, however, "and I was much older!"

"Ben, please, calm down!" He started to put up a hand in protest but Ben's growl stopped him short.

"She's _six_!"

"Actually, I'm almost seven, Daddy. Next month, remember?"

Amidala's casual correction stunted her elders, both of whom turned, baffled, from one another to the little girl. To stop himself from snapping at his daughter as well, Ben brushed a trembling hand through his hair and forced several deep breaths. Though he still felt highly charged by the incident, he settled for a disgruntled look and hands on hips approach. He figured it was better than seizing the old man by the throat, and in front of his child, no less.

"Can you give us a moment, Ami?" he asked—begged, rather—issuing a strained calmness that Amidala suspected to be fake.

"Yeah, fine." The intelligence in her dark eyes was, to Ben, far too apt for a six-year old. She playfully swatted her father's elbow and slipped out of earshot, brandishing her lightsaber this way and that around her great uncle's overrun backyard.

"What's the matter?" Master Luke urged as soon as Amidala was at a safe distance, sounding a bit cross himself. "We were _practicing_ , Ben."

That served to only aggravate Ben further. "That was too close, and _you know it_! You could have caused her serious bodily harm!"

"How can you say that?" Master Luke disputed, visibly agog by Ben's claim. "I knew right well what I was doing!"

"You don't think that's not why Rey and I always turn up early or hang around to oversee her training sessions with you?"

A slow but painfully significant frown sunk into the heavy, aged lines along Master Luke's stern mouth. "That's most uncalled for."

Baited by the sting he had left, Ben pressed on, with jarring derisiveness, "Shall I lie instead? Would that please you; or serve either of us better in the long term?"

"'In the long term'," Master Luke scoffed with a grave shake of his head.

The bitterness in his voice rattled some of Ben's anger, sending it slightly off kilter. His uncle rarely displayed his frustrations so openly, as though the long, isolated years spent on Ach-To had rendered his facial features void of showcasing any spectrum to a great many human emotions. He offered Ben a sharper, introspective look-over.

"If you don't trust me with your daughter then perhaps it's time we severed these sessions."

Taken aback by that proposal, Ben blinked in surprise. "Are you quitting on your great niece?"

"No," he asserted, "on the contrary, I believe you would _prefer_ that I not work with her anymore."

Ben's spirited eyes narrowed. "Don't paint yourself as the victim, uncle."

"I'm not—"

"Because it's _Ami_ who will suffer for it this time."

There was a considerable pause at that, two pairs of eyes fixed on each other, with the echo of those defining words bouncing back and forth between them. "I have no wish to hurt her, Ben. I have no ill intent towards her or to you or to Rey or to _anyone_." Every point was stressed, but Ben didn't budge. Master Luke's hands dropped to his sides. "I'm simply trying to get to the root of our...problem; a problem that, I think you'll agree with me, resurfaces too frequently for us to keep trying to ignore it."

With that, the elderly Jedi lowered his eyes a fraction and Ben found himself mimicking his former teacher's own uncertainty and underlying pain. He had no problem admitting that he still took immense issue with his uncle—he and Rey had vocalised their reasons many a time before—but Master Luke was also right: the nagging, unabating bickering had raged on for too long, labouring in its long-held silences and without resolve.

Ben wasn't particularly keen on getting into the particulars now, though, especially with Amidala mere feet from them and likely pretending not to listen in on whatever of their row she could hear. "You proposed the idea of training her," he strained softly, eying his daughter sidelong, with care.

"And, I believe, the agreement to instruct her was a _mutual_ decision," Master Luke countered, his voice equally as quiet. "One we thought would be beneficiary to all."

"It was ultimately _Rey_ 's choice, not mine." Ben refused to mix words, and they were proving no less cutting in their style as he crossed his arms over his broad chest and stared his uncle down.

"It doesn't matter," Master Luke argued, sighing weightily. "I was still provided the opportunity and, for that, I'm grateful."

Staring for a short pause without flinching, Master Luke slowly brought his hands together in front of him and asked his nephew more pointedly, "What's this _really_ about, you and I? All this divisiveness... All the ugly discord between us that has carried on and on... We've never dealt with it, Ben; or, at least, not to the extent of which, I believe, _you_ require in order for us to move forward.

"We've both made mistakes, surely?" he relayed gently, evincing a touch of sadness. The familial tenderness Ben recognised at once churned his stomach and he tried to shove it down somewhere that it would not affect him. "I've expressed my regrets and transgressions to you before, as I have to Rey, so now I ask you: what more do you want from me?"

When Ben stared on at him, unblinking and without remark, Master Luke stressed, "Can't we let bygones be bygones? Hasn't enough time passed that you might make at least a partial effort to trust me again?"

"Don't start on me about trust!" Ben snapped.

" _You've forgiven me_ ; or you wouldn't be here...or have come this far. And you've come remarkably far, Ben—I'm so proud of you, you must know that?—so why continue to carry around this unnecessary animosity and resentment? Of what benefit does it serve to you? To _her_?" He pointed an adamant finger at Amidala, who, at once, ceased swinging her lightsaber.

Ben's jaw clamped tightly as he struggled to hold back the streaming series of violent images from the past that wanted to catapult to the front of his mind. "That day—you know the day of which I speak, uncle—that you were supposed to be there but you weren't. You promised Rey; you promised _me_. Hell, you promised my mother, your own sister!"

" _Ben_ ," Master Luke warned, and it was with such an abrupt irritation that Ben almost ceased to speak. Almost. He had only heard that tone of voice in his uncle once before in his youth, and it wasn't going to unnerve him now.

"A sister whom you abandoned before!" Swirling, emotionally-charged eyes fused on their target, brewing, their depths darkening. "You were supposed to meet us. Have you forgotten how Rey nearly got herself killed? You practically blew the whole operation!"

"Ben, I told you: I had no choice—"

" _Everyone has a choice_! You told me that once! _YOU_!"

Realising that the negative energy about him was starting to take shape, Ben stole a glance at Amidala again, who remained frozen, unmoving, with her eyes glued to her father and great uncle in confusion. He quickly encouraged her to carry on with her training and she did so, though reluctantly.

Ben's next glare for Master Luke was enough to freeze a man's heart. "I know your excuses. I've heard them time and time again. You may have my mother fooled about your actions that day; you may have softened my wife's mistrust, even regained much of her sympathy and played successfully on her unfailing love for you; but you will _not_ have my trust so easily."

"Ben," Master Luke beseeched, reaching out to him, "how can you say—?"

"You've abandoned me time and time again, uncle." Master Luke recoiled like a wounded animal. "From me you have no right to expect anything more than tolerance, just as I expect nothing but the same from you or anyone else."

As if he had been personally struck across the face, Master Luke's mouth hung open, stuttering and mumbling as he tried to find his voice again. "I... I'm sorry that you see my actions as so...ill-reputable, Ben." It was obvious that he was struggling to speak, each word causing him a great deal of anguish to utter. Steel blue eyes fluttered, turning to and from Ben's stone-cold expression, as he expressed in a choked whisper, "I'm sorry. Truly sorry, Ben. I wish you knew...just how much... I would like to have your trust again; your love and your confidence in me. I... I will continue to hope that, one day, your faith in me will be wholly and deservedly restored."

Ben didn't reply but his glare softened marginally, as he, too, took a step back and lowered his hands from his hips.

"I must go. I...need time to meditate." Master Luke shifted his weight from side to side. He paused to present Amidala with one last warm regard—she was still standing at a distance but closely monitoring their body language—and then bowed curtly to Ben and disappeared into his house.

Ben wasn't aware of staring on at the empty spot where his uncle had been moments before until Amidala gave a sudden light tug on his arm. Startled, he peered down into her honest face and found her frowning in a manner that, again, seemed too wise for such a tender youngling.

"Should we go, Daddy?" she asked, timid and unsure of what was happening.

"Yes, my little star," he concurred as reassuringly as possible. He smiled for her but it didn't quite reach his eyes, and she knew. He wrapped an around her small shoulders and hugged her to his hip. "Let's go home and see your mother, shall we?"

"Okay..." It was only once they had walked a short distance around the perimeter of Master Luke's house that Amidala chanced speaking again. "Will I be back tomorrow, Daddy?"

Ben turned to her, gripped somewhat by the concern she openly displayed. "We shall see, Ami. Your mother and I need to talk first."

Amidala pouted and lowered her eyes to the ground. "Why do you dislike each other so much?"

Ben rattled at that. "We don't dislike each other, little star. We just...see things quite differently."

Amidala's eyes rose, peculiar. "And that's bad?"

"Not...necessarily, no."

"Then why can't I come back tomorrow?"

"Ami—"

"I don't know what Uncle Luke's done to displease you, Daddy," she pleaded with fresh earnest, craning to look up at her father as they reached his ship that would transport them home, "but _please_ give him one more chance. _Please_? For me?"

Ben stared down at his daughter, wrestling with the desire to immediately oblige his daughter's every whim; or continue to harbour what he considered to be deserved resentment for the past. Her innocent, heartfelt plea reminded him all too sorely of what he had urged of his uncle only earlier, however: 'It's Ami who will suffer.'

Ben swallowed his enmity but for his little girl alone. "I have to converse with your mother, Ami, but I'll consider your wish to continue training with him, all right?"

Amidala leapt into Ben's arms to squeeze him with all her miniature might. An enlivened smile crossed her face as she scurried into the ship ahead of him, leaving Ben to curse himself under his breath before following after.

 _For Ami_ , he reminded himself, determined to keep his reservations under wraps for the trip home—at least, until he saw Rey. _Don't force her to suffer for your own personal discontentment with your uncle._

 _And if he, too, disappoints her in the end?_ his conscience counselled.

Ben swallowed hard as he strapped himself into the cockpit, turned on the engine, and awaited for Amidala to lock herself into her seat safely. _She'll finally understand her mother's pain and mine..._

That wouldn't do for the eldest child of Ben and Rey Solo; or, perhaps, it was as the stars had supposedly preordained, if one believed in such divine interventions: if a Skywalker was made to suffer, so, too, would a Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Thank you to those who review...**


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Hmm...okay...**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 18**

_"Her body speaks sunrise beautifully."_

–spinningsharks

_The next two weeks were some of the most emotionally gruelling days Rey could recall, each excruciating moment of the day (and sleepless nights) tugging at every last frayed nerve. Instead of what should have come naturally to her by now—perfecting the needed skills Master Luke had set in motion for clearing her mind of all troubles and becoming one with the Force—it was now Rey's daily, near minute-by-minute struggle to hone all of her focus on her training rather than the regularly accompanying Thorn-In-Her-Side, also known as Ben Solo._

_He had begun annoying her for all sorts of fresh reasons, never allowing her proper breathing room, for starters. Whether they practiced duelling, meditation, or another Force sensitive exercise of Master Luke's choosing, Ben was nearly always within sight. If he could breathe down her neck, if only to aggravate her further, he would have readily done so just to hear her huff and see her squirm._

_Ben's nagging presence gnawed at Rey's insides, but no longer for the reasons for which she had despised him before. She couldn't hate him anymore. The mask had been removed,_ _shattered and jagged and in pieces but exposed,_ _and she now she knew too much about the burdens he carried. Rather, it had become her new purpose to prove the reforming Jedi's argument wrong: she did not 'like' him, thank you very much, and it was high time that he got that hot-headed, self-assured monstrosity of an idea clonked out of his skull._

_Rey's solution was simple at the off: ignore him at all costs and maybe, eventually, he would tire of trying to gouge her unresolved feelings out of her and against her will. Adding to the throbbing headache of having to deal with Ben on the regular was that, in her feeble attempts to ignore his existence, he took her challenge to task and made her attempts more taxing than she ever imagined._

_Aside from constantly being around to take part in Master Luke's various exercises—or sharing in the normal breakfast and dinner routines the three of them shared—Ben made a point of trying to talk to her whenever the opportunity arose. Rey knew exactly what he was up to, too: trying to make himself more of a problem. He knew that anything he said carried the potential to trigger an outburst from her, and it seemed that he was all too willing to goad Rey until she told him what he wanted to hear._

_'But it's not what he wants to hear, is it?' she would question her own conscience around the clock. 'That's only a half truth, Rey. You know the whole of it...'_

_This unnerving reminder prodded Rey to throw herself into further meditation, work harder at her training, and curl up into a ball at night when she couldn't sleep and dreams refused to shoo away the feelings that continued festering in her heart. T_ _he nights were the worst, but at least she was no longer alone in her insomnia. Perpetually, though the time of night varied, she would, at some point or other, overhear Ben in the room next to her. Sometimes he moaned in his sleep, other times it was soft cries and whispers in the dark, but now she was aware of what his broken soul called for._

_Sometimes that was the only thing keeping her from lounging at him and pummelling him into the dirt during their training. She understood his darkness, the painstaking efforts it would take to bring him back to the Light, and what was, in all likelihood, keeping him on Ach-To day after day: a small, pestering shot at redemption. Wasn't she partially responsible for instilling him with such frail hopes, after all?_

_The truth was Rey_ did _like him. She was fond him, at least, for he had once sheltered her and taken her in as a protective, older friend when she was a youngster and aching for a sense of belonging after her parents left her in Master Luke's charge. It pained her to have forgotten Ben, really, even if that had been his own will and not hers. She recognised that same strength of character in him now, most importantly that sliver of compassion that had been shrouded and undetectable when he first arrived on the island months ago._

_He was changing—slowly but deliberately—crawling and clawing his way back to hers and Master Luke's side. She was proud of him immensely._

_But Jedi weren't permitted to carry attachments, not of the romantic sort, anyhow. Wasn't that Darth Vadar's downfall, Ben's own grandfather? She didn't know the full story, and she wasn't about to probe Master Luke (and certainly not Ben) for details about their dysfunctional family history; but she remembered a vague mention of the rule of attachment at the beginning of her studies, both from her previously erased childhood and upon her return to Master Luke as a young adult. Her teacher had never made mention of any past romantic attachments himself (and Rey couldn't imagine him having such inclinations, quite frankly), so shouldn't she follow his example? A brief examination into how romance had ultimately played out for General Organa, too, another Force-sensitive, was enough to provoke Rey into questioning such_ _jeopardising pursuits_ _. The general had lost her husband and from the glimpses she had observed from Ben's childhood all too recently, their relationship had been a rocky one from start to finish._

 _Romance seemed far more complicated and messy an affair than Rey was willing to become a participant for. And anyway, why should she consider such matters of the heart with Ben Solo, of all people? He may be changing—heck, he may have even possessed feelings for her, too; it certainly would appear that way—but weren't such inclinations just a distraction from why she was here? Couldn't Ben simply be the first person Rey had felt drawn to in such a way but that, in all likelihood, it wasn't romance? She knew she still suffered from a bad case of isolation and loneliness. Perhaps_ that _explained why's Ben words had stuck and kept forcing their way into her head, leading her to doubt herself and question her feelings for the first time._

_Rey had never once given any thought to giving herself to someone...until now. A relationship, marriage, even a family of her own had been wish fulfilment as a child, intangible and unrealistic. By the time she was a teen, such ideas had all but evaporated. After all, those sorts of dreams would serve to only swallow her whole if she wasn't careful. Fending for, sticking up for, and living for herself was all she had; life on Jakku had taught her the hard way of how to make it on her own._

_Then_ he _ploughed into her lonely world, suddenly and unexpectedly and, at first, camouflaged as a psychopath determined to destroy her and what little she had left to hold onto. He became the convoluted ghost from her past, sharp around the edges, who, in truth, was just as emotionally fragile as her; just as abandoned and seeking a place to call home. Home in another person, perhaps._

 _Rey tossed and turned for another night, in what had become no different from the norm of late_ _. She grumbled, flopped to her opposite side, and clung tightly to her pillow in the hopes of blocking the man out in the bedroom next door. She sensed that he was awake and had been since they had both gone to bed hours before. He wasn't crying or talking in his sleep; it was merely intuition, a curious sensation which Rey had grown to perceive quite accurately._

_Hers and Ben's connection, emotionally and Force-wise, was a puzzle to piece together, and Rey found herself lifting her head and drawing her gaze over her shoulder to the tattered curtain that divided them. Moonlight illuminated its edges, outlining the uneven patches sewn into where holes had formed. She sucked in a heavy breath and kicked back her blankets, unsure as to why she felt compelled to follow her next moves. She crept towards the doorway in her bare feet and hesitated in front of the curtain, peaking in on Ben noiselessly from the outside. He was lying on his mattress with his back turned to her, his enormous body (his feet and the blanket covering him from the waist down dangled over the edge) still but for his sides which steadily expanded and contracted with each breath. The blue-tinted moonlight spilt into his room as well and over his porcelain-like flesh. He wasn't wearing a shirt, permitting glimpses of his well-sculpted shoulder blades, narrow waistline, and a speckle of moles that dotted his back._

_"Are you just going to stand there?" he suddenly muttered aloud, his brawny form still unmoving._

_Rey's lungs froze. Several agonising seconds passed before she felt bold enough to draw back the curtain and step through. She waited, wondering if Ben would roll over to meet her gaze and speak again, but he didn't. His silence was an invitation, one that Rey felt an unexplainable compulsion to meet. She tiptoed to his bed, sunk down onto the flimsy mattress, and eased herself beneath the blanket they would share. She purposely faced the opposite stone wall and stilled when she felt Ben's backside slightly brush up against hers; but she wasn't nervous and couldn't account for why. She had never slept next to a man before; she had never slept next to_ anyone _, for that matter. She trusted him, just as she trusted herself, and tucked in comfortably against a small portion of his pillow that he wasn't occupying._

_Before she could much contemplate the situation she had painted herself into, Rey's weighty eyelids drifted shut. She fell asleep quickly to the quiet, even breaths coming from Ben at her side, each low inhale and exhale of air seducing her insomniac state into a much-desired, necessarily deep rest._

*** * * * * ***

_The next morning, Rey awoke to a contrasting, far less peaceful sound mere inches from her left ear: snoring. Half dazed from such heavy sleep, Rey slowly rolled sideways to lie on her back and stretch her legs. She was startled by the sudden rumbling noises which finally roused her from her comforts and shot up in bed, her left hand flying out from beneath the covers and smacking a sleeping Ben hard in the face._

_"What the—?" he growled and gingerly rubbed his nose, whilst Rey scurried towards the edge of the bed as fast as she could, taking much of the blanket with her._

_At some point during the night, Ben had switched sides and was now facing her, with much of his large, warm body snug right up against hers. In a panic, Rey tried to catch her breath and reason with where she found herself, but it was as though all of her emotional defences had somehow been drugged and she was hustling to try to pin them back into a formation that made sense._

_To call waking up next to Ben Solo astounding was an understatement. Rey had completely forgotten how she wound up here. Had it been of her own free will? It wasn't like her to sneak into a man's room and wilfully put herself to sleep there._

_"What are you doing?" she hissed, which evidently stirred a rather exhausted and perplexed Ben more awake._

_"I was sleeping," he snapped back, blinking up at her. He delicately shifted onto his elbow and raked his fingers through his mop of bed-headed curls._

_"How...?" Rey paused to glance about the room, frowning._

_Ben answered her incomplete inquiry. "You came in here last night."_

_Rey's gaze fell back on Ben, nonetheless confounded. "I must've slept walked," she made to reason with herself, to which Ben scowled knowingly._

_"You don't sleep, nor do you sleep walk."_

_Rey crossed her arms over her chest. "Then maybe_ you _had something to do with it?"_

_"What are you insinuating?"_

_Now fully alert, Rey stopped herself of saying something regretful. "Oh, never mind."_

_"Yeah, best you leave_ that _assumption alone," Ben warned. He bent forward to casually hug his knees and stared Rey down as much as a sleepy, dishevelled commander could. "You can get out now."_

_Taken aback, Rey threw back the blanket and stood up. "Fine!"_

_With that, she stormed off, her ears and cheeks an infuriatingly bright red. She prayed that Ben didn't catch her blush as she left._

*** * * * * ***

_Every night thereafter, Rey returned to Ben's bedroom, relieved when he chose to make no mention of her visits, either the first time or any time after. They didn't argue as they had the first morning either, neither seemingly opposed to the other's presence when the stars resumed their brilliance overhead at the end of each day._

_On the second morning, Rey awoke to find herself facing Ben's back. That had disappointed her, though she was sure as hell not going to admit it aloud, least of all to Ben. She slipped out of the room before they could speak._

_On the third morning, she awoke facing Ben, with him deeply entrenched in a dreamland and unabashedly snoring in her direction. His hot breaths tickled her nose and cheeks, and she was surprised to have found it all endearing rather than an inconvenience._ _She made certain that her eyes were closed when he opened his._

_On the fourth morning, Rey's right arm had flung itself over Ben's side and her left leg was encased quite snugly between both of his. She was too paralysed to try to move and it was tortuous waiting for Ben to rouse. Once he did, their matching blushes were too severe to go unnoticed by either party, and they shimmied away from each other as quickly as possible and didn't make much eye contact over breakfast._

_On the fifth morning, Ben had, at some point during the night, woven an arm securely around Rey's waist. She was unable to shift out of his embrace without waking him and he stumbled over a rather drowsy-induced apology as he freed her. That was as far as the discussion ever went._

_On the sixth morning, Ben had somehow wound up spooning Rey from behind. This time she didn't attempt to wiggle herself out of his grasp. She felt warm, sheltered, pleasantly cosy... When Ben, at last, stirred and hastily tried to fling his arm back, Rey pulled him back to where he was. Neither of them said anything or moved for another ten minutes or so, instead basking in this new, strange and untapped sublimity. They listened intently to one another's faint breaths, Ben's increasingly heated and intense on the nape of Rey's neck. They were finally prompted to disentangle themselves when they overheard Master Luke shuffling around in the kitchen making breakfast._

_On the seventh morning, Ben had spooned Rey for a second night in a row, but her face had deviated from facing the wall to snuggling into Ben's right cheek. The tip of his pointed nose was also pressed against her right cheek in return. She hardly minded such closeness. When her eyes opened that day, Ben's were still shut, his dark eyelashes fluttering in a dream world and dangerously near. Her lips wriggled into the smallest, gentlest smile and she wasn't aware of making the next move until well after the fact. She leaned in, barely needing to move at all, and lightly brushed her mouth to his. His lips were remarkably soft and smooth and tasted of something delicately sweet, yet foreign. A slight moan greeted her explorative kiss and then Ben pushed back ever so slightly, demonstrating equal caution and gentleness. He wearily opened his eyes to a newly startled Rey, who broke their lip locking apart at once and reared back._

_"I - I'm sorry?" she half squeaked, half questioned, feeling the humiliating flush that was trailing up her neck and onto her grimacing face._ _Was it possible to want to_ die _after kissing someone? She wanted to die._

_Ben gave her a long, thoughtful stare. "Why?" His voice was hoarse._

_"I... I don't know." She lowered her eyes and settled for biting her lower lip. Finding the weight of Ben's stare simply too unnerving to be borne, she peered up at him again, and found his expression was unchanged. She blurted out the words before she could stop herself, "I - I like you."_

_Ben's eyes, ever shadowed and intelligent, were as fixed on her as blaster set on its target. "I know."_

_Rey's heart rate instinctively quickened. "Do you...?" she started and stopped, feeling the flicker of hope within wavering on the brink of collapse._

_"Yes, of course," he gradually admitted, eyes roving over her face with more care. "Couldn't you tell?" His question was a half chuckle._

_"I... I'm not the greatest judge of...of that."_

_A left hand suddenly emerged out of the corner of Rey's eye, fingertips slightly worn and calloused from overuse with a saber (amongst, Rey could only assume, other devious, ill handlings), and adjusted a few hanging hair strands that he gently tucked behind her ear. Those same fingers then travelled one side of her jawline, evoking an enticing shiver to course down Rey's spine; she was unable to disguise her response to his soft touch._

_"That makes two of us," Ben murmured, his gaze remaining locked on hers._

_Rey wasn't sure who first sought the second kiss, but the ensnarement was rapid, and yet, as carefully executed as its predecessor. Both shyly inspected each other's warm mouths, pushing back and forth with just enough force to illicit small gasps and moans of pleasure. Their lips parted at the same time, only Rey was no longer lying beside Ben but hovering over top of him._ _She wasn't sure how she had ended up there, but her_ _breath stalled as she sought the prod of inner bravery she would need to carry on._

_Before she could so much as locate that courage buried somewhere within, Ben rose from the mattress, carrying the weight of Rey with him. His strong arms, wrapped firmly around her lower back, held her in place, though Rey had no interest in fighting him off now._

_"My uncle will be up," he stated, his voice alluringly calm and hushed. His words snuffed Rey's growing arousal out like a flame faced to the wind. "We must be quiet."_

_Rey agreed through a disappointing nod, unaware that she was slightly pouting at him. Ben's face broke out in a boyish-like grin that momentarily robbed Rey of proper air. She had never seen him smile like_ that _before; it was handsome, genuinely upbeat, suggestive of joy over what had transpired between them in the privacy of his room over the past week._

_Without another word, Ben slid Rey off his lap with ease, as though she was weightless, and plopped her down on the mattress again. He then rose to his full height and gathered his scattered clothes together from the dirt floor. He began to dress himself, starting with his stark robes._

_Rey reluctantly followed Ben's suggestion, rising from his bed and sneaking back to her room to shimmy into her boots. She was otherwise fully dressed, save for her wrap-around robe, and hesitated to amble her way towards the main sitting area without him. That was a first, and a thought that sent her off kilter as she stepped into the main area of the hut._

_As Ben had anticipated, Master Luke was indeed awake, present, and seated cross-legged on the floor, meditating in his usual spot at the head of the short wooden table they normally dined at. He didn't open his eyes as Rey approached, but she could feel the tremendous spikes in his energy, and their unusual aggression threw her even more off balance._

_Was he aware of the powerful emotional bond forming between her and Ben? He knew of their Force connections already, and hadn't been at all too elaborate about their meaning so far, and yet, their rapid attachment had been kept amongst themselves._

_An abrupt panic seized Rey by the throat._ _Why had she never considered what her master might think of her deeper feelings for Ben? Did he deserve awareness of such knowledge? She hardly knew what to make of them herself, so why_ should _Master Luke know just yet? Then again, was he already aware?_

_Rey swallowed her impromptu fears and forced herself to sit at his side. As soon as she crossed her legs, Master Luke's eyes shot open and bore into hers. It was highly discomforting, as though she was naked and exposed before him, her heart laid bare. She wanted to speak, but her grasp of words had lapsed._

_"If you heed none of my advice, Rey, do only this," he reprimanded, though without the glint of anger she otherwise sensed swirling about them, "stay away from my nephew."_

*** * * * * ***

**Proclamation's Star base**

**(Present Day)**

Amidala crossed through a durasteel archway to an empty lift that opened at her wordless command, holding her breath for the majority of its ascent to the upper floors. The climb felt excruciatingly long, as if the menacing Supreme Leader himself, content to endlessly lurk in the shadows, was exercising his will from far, far away— _Whatever hell hole in which he hides..._ —to slow the elevator's ascent to an agonising crawl. She was joined by two unidentified Stormtroopers, both of whom she had convinced moments before to leave her unconscious brother behind where he lay: face down in the middle of his cell. "He won't wake," she had convinced them rather too certainly, and with the added benefit of instituting some subtle Force-enacted persuasion. "Leave him be... _with the door open_."

Her first attempt at such mental manipulation had stressed to her one vitally important lesson: a weak mind really _was_ too easily controlled. Her father and mother had stressed the dangers many times over what could be done to the feeble-minded, as had Master Luke throughout her training. She had never put it to demonstration before, however, and was a touch horrified by how effortlessly her attempts had panned out.

There was also another underlying concern: had she, herself, become beguiled to Snoke's recent mind molestations? Surely, not, if she was well aware of the fact and of what the cold-hearted bastard was after. She had fought against him, after all, to the best of her abilities once he finally made his move.

_Yet, here you are, Ami, ready and willing to make a deal with the Devil..._

At last, the doors parted with a defining _whoosh_ , allowing Amidala to step from the cramped, low lit elevator and release a shuddering breath. "This way," one of the Stormtroopers ordered and marched ahead of her. The other prodded Amidala forward with a brief pressing of the tip of his blaster rifle.

There was no point in contesting—not if she wished to cause more headaches for her father, at least—and, thus, Amidala tailed the head Stormtrooper down a blinding pathway of rushing military personnel, uncertain of where she was going but fully cognitive of who she was about to meet. Her clammy fingers coiled at her sides. She was defenceless without her lightsaber. Shouldn't her father have returned with it by the time she had to stipulate a plan of her own?

"You will tell the general that the cellblock is secure and that I've come willingly...upon Snoke's orders," she stated lowly as they brushed shoulders with droids and diverted militia, dark eyes sharply scanning her surroundings for any sign of a familiar face. Odd that the sight of Kylo Ren would have proven comforting at this moment.

Amidala quivered and stepped through a gateway, down another narrowing corridor, and straight to where she had first been led to at the start of her family's recapture: the communications post, the official 'face' of the Proclamation's star base. She saw the back of a husky, ginger-haired general before he had any inkling of the young captive's approach.

"General," the leading Stormtrooper exclaimed a little too excitedly, spoking General Hux to attention; he whirled around with such a loathsome sneer that the visual of his hatred churned Amidala's stomach, "the captive, as requested!"

"Ahhh, yes," said General Hux, quickly recovering from his start.

He shot down his angular nose at the pale, gangly girl staring up at him. She didn't have to stretch her neck far, though, for she was unusually tall for her age. _Pretty...but peculiar_ , the general concluded in his assessment. There was something off about the colour of her eyes—so chocolate that they could almost pass for the bleak pigment that was endless space—and the dusting of a few moles across her cheeks and forehead prompted unaccountable chills to course through his veins. He knew those physical attributes from somewhere. How could he not identify them in this peculiar girl? Whatever the Supreme Leader desired with her, his recent message had been most urgent and unforthcoming.

"The Supreme Leader is expecting you," he informed her after a short but sickening survey up and down the length of Amidala's form.

He stepped closer and Amidala stumbled backward, colliding with the front of the Stormtrooper at her back. The general's face was sweaty and splotchy—droplets of perspiration clung to the deeply-set wrinkles on his brow—and the strong stench of alcohol radiating from his breath was enough to compel Amidala to hold hers.

"I - I'm aware," she stammered, uncertain of what else she should say. All she could hope was to provide her family a little more time, particularly her father. Where was he? Would he find Han soon and get the rest of them to safety?

 _You didn't think this through all that well, did you, Slick?_ she considered, swallowing thickly.

"Funny," General Hux spat, his expression shaping into a sharper turn of incredulous, "I've never heard the Supreme Leader express interest in you before."

Amidala, who had been struggling to dispose her mind of anything compromising that might incriminate her or her family later on, once more fought to lock all precious thought and memories to the deepest, securest alcoves of her mind. She knew the general to not be Force sensitive, but that didn't mean he couldn't exercise physical force to extract information from her if he so chose.

"Nor have I, sir..."

General Hux's beady eyes narrowed. "What could the Supreme Leader possibly want with someone like _you_ , a Nobody?"

"I... I wouldn't know."

He cocked his head accusingly, as if he could read her mind. Amidala drew back again. That wasn't possible.

"Oh, I think you _do_ know."

"I honestly couldn't say."

"Spare me your lies!" he snipped between his teeth. "You and your mother are finished. There's nowhere to hide now. So tell me: of what purpose is a silly little girl like you to the Proclamation?"

Amidala felt her cheeks draw heat. "Whatever it is, he obviously doesn't care for you to know, does he?" Amidala found herself goading the beefy, affronted general, feeling her inner frustrations and weariness with her family's long ordeal manifesting and taking over. "You must not be that important yourself, _sir_."

"Why, you insolent—"

"I suggest you keep your nose out of it, General, for your own good. I could always inform the Supreme Leader upon his arrival of your underhanded meddling, starting with this conversation."

For the first time, a flash of fear slippedGeneral Hux's mask of intolerance. " _Who are_ you _to threaten me thus_?" he cried out, flummoxed and enraged.

Amidala felt the sheer force of the man's strike after the fact. She was too jolted to have foreseen it coming, and she detested how her eyes instantly watered from the assault.

"Like I said," she hissed, her voice quivering but strong, "keep away from me if you know what's good for you."

The huffing, wildly exasperated general looked as though he was on the verge of toying with a second, even harder strike to Amidala's face—one of his gloved hands hovered between them, trembling in ire—but before he dealt his choice, a timorous male officer approached.

"Sir?" He hesitantly cleared his throat.

" _WHAT_?"

The officer quaked in his boots and answered, "Supreme Leader Snoke's ship is coming into range."

General Hux's irritation plummeted like sand through a time capsule. He straightened his shoulders and dropped his decking hand to his side. He kept a critical, disquieting eye on Amidala, however.

"See that everyone is prepared to receive the Supreme Leader's arrival, Officer Macdonald. _Immediately_."

"Yes, sir!" The officer named Macdonald hurried away as though his life depended upon his direct boss's orders. Amidala reckoned that that was likely the case.

General Hux stepped closer. When Amidala staggered and ran into the Stormtrooper a second time, he commandeered her in an instant, grabbing her by the arm and directing the end of his blaster rifle underneath her chin. She wrestled to free herself but General Hux attacked her personal space, too, and clasped both of her cheeks mercilessly.

"Mark my words, _Little Girl_ ," he promised, "you're no match for me. I'll find out who you are and what the Supreme Leader wants with you, and then I'll exploit you and use you to my advantage. Don't cross me, _Pretty Nobody_ , if you know what's good for _you_."

He relinquished his grip, shoving Amidala back hard as he did so. She was sure that his painful clutch had left gross fingerprints on her skin. She wanted to break down—to cry and holler and scream for her father, for her mother—but, instead, she bit back her tongue and made to control the tears that were forming, ready at any moment to betray her.

 _I'm so sorry, Dad, Mum_ , she bid wishfully to her parents, knowing that her thoughts were too far entrenched behind the gates of her mind for her message to transmit to either Ben or Rey. She spotted the speck of a ghostly ship gravitating towards the base and every last fraction of hope and courage washed away, along with the Padawan's complexion. _Forgive me...and everything I'm about to do from here._

*** * * * * ***

"Mummy?"

Rey felt herself being lightly shaken awake by Astrid and batted a few dazed, confused blinks as her sight came into focus on her daughter's worried face. She had only recently nodded off, intending to sleep for only a short while whilst awaiting Ben's return to her cell. After several days of ongoing battling against the Proclamation, short bouts of meditation when prompted by her body's reminders weren't enough to sustain her anymore. She struggled to sit upright against the wall.

" _Mummy_ ," Astrid's frantic voice cut in, convulsing her awake further, "the door!"

Rey detected unfamiliar voices coming from outside, followed by a bit of tussling, and then the door was opened. She scrambled to her feet and thrust Astrid behind her, one hand clamped to the youngling's arm.

A Stormtrooper clambered inside and glued his or her's eyes to Rey but said nothing. Its rifle blaster wasn't aimed, but the presence of any non-Resistance armed force was enough to put Rey's senses on high alert.

"What do you want?" she demanded, boiling her free hand into a usable fist. If she had to fight one of these goons with her bare hands, Rey wouldn't think twice of doing so when it came to protecting her daughter.

Her Force sensitivities heightened—and teetered—just as the Stormtrooper lowered his or her weapon. Rey's grip on Astrid also lightened and she chanced a short step closer, eyes widened in utter shock. "How... How are _you_ here?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 19**

" _I talk to God, but the sky is empty!"_

—Sylvia Plath

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(D'Qar, Resistance Headquarters)**

Major Brance crept to the momentary refuge that was his cramped, low lit office and bolted the door shut behind him as an extra precaution. Releasing a quick sigh, he slunk into his desk chair and turned on his computer, his aim insistent and intention to be as swift as possible. The general wouldn't be suspicious of his absence unless he dawdled for too long.

He hurriedly removed a small communicative device from inside his coat pocket and transferred the miniscule article to his computer. The incoming message, anticipated but nonetheless cryptic, took seconds to download and decode with a few quick taps of his keyboard. Ensuring that the volume was low, Major Brance hit a button on his computer and waited. A deep, familiar voice began speaking rapidly to him, sounding dire and distressed, "They're here. The situation is precarious. Skywalker knows. I couldn't keep my cover under wraps with the Wookie present, too. Ren's acting increasingly unstable. He stays clear of me. I don't know what his intentions are. We don't have much time. What are your orders, sir?"

Major Brance fell back in his chair to contemplate the tall order before him. He scratched mindlessly at his trim beard, and his thoughts, as always, settled upon General Organa. He loved her, really. It was easy to follow her every command and protocol since he had materialised under her ranks during the rise of the First Order. She had more than earned the respect from the whole of the Resistance well before he came under her wing, when she was still the young, brazen and forsaken princess, held captive by her father and a tragic observer to the lengths of his volatile nature beginning with the destruction of her home planet. He had heard her tales of woe, but never from the source herself. Her eyes spoke enough, however, alight with the ghosts of her past and an unspeakable weight and drive that carried her forward where most would have succumbed to such sorrows. It was remarkable—her strength—and intimidating to a young man fresh from the outskirts from whence her legend first formulated and grew.

General Organa would be devastated if she ever learned of the major's—and others'—hidden doubts. Not that they considered them personal, but Major Brance had never been fully convinced by Leia of Ben Solo's allegiance to their cause. It was crucial—'necessary,' he had convinced himself—to be extra cautious where the general's compromised heart was concerned. Her son was her weakness, if not the  _only_  weakness she possessed.

In these perilous times, the Resistance couldn't afford any slip ups, especially if they might involve a mother's inability to see the betrayal of her only child laying doormat right under her nose. That left the major and his fellow Resistance fighters little choice but to engage behind her back. The cause would be utterly foolish to place _all_  of their hopes into the biased faith of one forgiving woman, mother to the Resistance or not.

Because he loved her, Major Brance would do what was right, even if that meant shaming himself in the general's eyes. He pondered the dicey situation some more. Then he hastily deleted the incriminating message and unplugged the communicative device from his computer. He spoke into the opposite end—a recorder—and delivered his decision in urgency, "Do what you must. If that means forfeiting your position in order to earn one of their trusts, do so immediately. Avoid Ren. Get the family back here. The attack will be on soon."

That would have to do. Major Brance shoved the device back into his computer, typed in a series of intricate codes, and sent the message back to its recipient, his left leg quivering beneath his desk as he tried to exercise patience in awaiting the transmission to be completed. It finally beeped, signalling its success, but there was little time to breathe any sighs of relief. From behind, a voice startled the major, sending him staggering sideways out of his chair.

"What are you doing?"

Major Brance whirled around. He was stunned to the quick to discover Captain Finn standing there in his doorway, his fingers clamped around a small piece of what looked like lopsided metal which he had evidently used to noiselessly pick the lock.

"Captain Finn," Major Brance grunted, making a swift recovery, "just what do you think you're doing eavesdropping? Some conversations are confidential and are excluding to your position here."

"That may be so," Finn concurred, though his voice was dangerously calm, "but I couldn't help but observe your rather nervous tick earlier following my confrontation with the general." He paused to squint and scan the major through open suspicion. "I heard your message, so let's forego any time-wasting protests about what you're up to, shall we?"

Finn took a cautious step inside, allowing the door to naturally close from behind, and kept his sights firmly on the anxious, frozen-standing major. "You've got someone working on the inside; someone who's going to help Rey and the kids get to safety?"

Major Brance thought long and hard before he chose to divulge a portion of his plan. "Yes," he answered, swallowing down any regret.

Finn surveyed him with less scepticism than before. "Does General Organa know?"

"No."

A worried glimmer crossed Finn's eyes at this. "Does Rey know?"

"No."

Finn straightened. "Does Ben Solo know?"

"No, of course not," Major Brance scoffed. "He's the reason this secret operation is in play."

Finn suddenly rushed at Major Brance and snatched him by the lapels. " _Have you any idea how much you may have potentially jeopardized that family_?"

"The Resistance needed assurances that Ben Solo's allegiance was to the cause and not to—" Major Brance tried to argue but was shaken into silence.

"If Ben Solo  _or_  his wife  _or_  his mother so much as gets whiff that you've been undermining his efforts as a spy for us," Finn interrupted him in a hushed, desperate whisper, "the entire cause will be forfeited for it!"

"General Organa would never stray from our goal," Major Brance insisted, though he sounded a touch unsteady with the strength of his argument. "Neither would Rey. You know that, Captain."

"That's hardly a comfort!" Finn hissed. He released his grip. "The trust will be broken! Your insider is likely to cause more danger to that family's welfare than aid!"

It took the major too long to retort, "We don't know that for certain."

"If Ben Solo finds out..." Conveying a frustrated huff, Finn placed his hands on his hips and stared the major down. "According to your insider, he's already 'unstable'! Imagine what he might let slip if he finds out that not only is he being watched by the Proclamation but the Resistance as well! He could blow this whole operation up and unintentionally take his wife and children down with it!"

Major Brance pointed a warning finger at Finn's chest. "If you say anything to the general—to  _anyone_ —then that might very well come to pass! I suggest you go about your business, Captain, and leave these matters to those of us who've been working them successfully to this end."

Finn turned on his heel, giving a disgusted shake of his head, and started to storm out of the major's office when further words from the man held him back. "We've had various spies watching Ben Solo since he defected from the First Order over a decade ago, Captain. This is hardly new territory for us. We know what we're playing."

Finn shot him a measured glare. He hardly realised the stance he was taking on Ben Solo's behalf until well after the words left his lips. "This isn't a game, Major. These are people's  _lives_  you're toying with; people I care about. This will be all the more damaging, I promise you, once Ben realises that all of his perilous efforts for us have been undermined the whole time." He clenched his jaw. "Rey will be heartbroken... So will General Organa... Can you live with that?"

"I'll have to," Major Brance softly concluded, keeping his chin raised in determination. "My feelings, your feelings, they're irrelevant, Captain. Once this war ends, how we accomplished it won't matter. What  _will_ matter is that there will finally be peace throughout the galaxy."

Dismayed, Finn lowered his gaze. "I hope for your sake that it's worth it, Major." He silently exited Major Brance's office and disappeared.

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Han began to stir, feeling his conscience awaken beneath the heaviness of a throbbing head injury. The incessant pounding in his temples was growing painfully acute with each passing second. Something—or some _one_ —was hovering above him, shadowing the weakened boy from the worst of the obnoxiously bright lights that kept his cell well-lit.

For the moment, he was grateful to whomever they were, though he reckoned they couldn't be good news. No one in this hellish place besides his father, really, was a positive omen.

"Dad?" Han gingerly raised his head, but that only made the pangs worse. His head slumped to the cold, hard floor, though he managed to squint in a vain attempt to make out the figure towering over him.

Slowly, the outline of brown, shaggy fur came into focus, followed by a soft humming noise that shook Han further awake. Its response was nonhuman but a message the boy understood, nonetheless.

"Chewie?" Han gaped, eyes expanding and moon-shaped. The Wookie affirmed Han's realisation with an emphasized growl, sending Han catapulting into his furry friend's arms, ignoring the continued pains in his head. " _Chewie_! It's  _you_! What the—?" He tried to pull back, but Chewie's grip nearly crushed him. "How'd you find us?"

"Nrrrraggggg!"

" _Uncle Luke_?"

Chewie nodded. "Narr'aummhmm," he explained in a softer tone. He gave a quick toss of his head towards the open cell door.

The pulsations in Han's head increased tenfold. He rubbed at his temples in an effort to ease the tension. "Ami..." he whispered, recalling what had led him to black out and wind up on the floor.

Chewie angled his head, curious, and awaited clarification. When the boy continued peering over his shoulder but not uttering a word, the Wookie effortlessly tugged him to his feet, though he kept a sturdy paw on Han's shoulder.

"I think..." Han started again, peering at Chewie with fresh fear in his eyes. It made the Wookie's heartbeat quicken. "I think she's in trouble, Chewie."

Chewie gave him an inquisitive look over and asked a few more probing questions that Han seemed disinterested—or unable—to answer. On the surface, Han appeared to be all right, save for a bit of a headache, but the Wookie was legitimately concerned as to how his friend had wound up passed out on the floor, with his cell door open to his escape.

"It - It's nothing," Han tried to glaze over the Wookie's questions. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I think she's gone and done something mental this time, Chewie. We  _need_  to help her! Dad, he..." Han's complexion went white as a sheet, prompting Chewie's worries to heighten. "I don't think he knows. We - We had a plan! Whatever my sister's up to, this wasn't a part of it!"

Without wasting any more time, Chewie asked if Han could walk on his own and, once assured by more of Han's adamant head nodding, shoved a rifle blaster into the boy's hands. Giving the weapon a funny study, Han surmised that it must have been stolen off of an unfortunate Stormtrooper. There was simply no time to inquire.

Han followed at Chewie's heel and, exercising caution, the two exited his cell into a shadowy, eerily empty corridor. The silence was almost deafening, an intense discomfort to Han's nerves.

Why had no one come for him? Surely, the enemy  _must_  know by now that one of their prisoner's cell doors was wide open?  _Unless Ami has something to do with that, too._  Did she want him to escape?  _Without Mum, Dad, or Astrid?_ None of it made sense.

After stepping into this false sense of freedom, Han nearly collided with the very person who had just passed his mind: his mother, who had exited her cell at the same moment alongside his younger sister.

" _Han_!" Rey gasped. She placed a skittish Astrid carefully onto the ground and threw her arms around his neck.

" _Mum_!" Han returned, aghast by their stroke of good luck.

"Are you all right?" she barrelled off into a series of questions, offering no room for breath or for Han to reply as she stepped back to thoroughly examine him. Her hands flew to Han's face, her wide eyes trailing towards the cell door behind him. Her euphoria at being reunited with one of her children became less enthused. "Goodness, where'd you get that bruise on your forehead?  _And where's your sister_?"

Rey's question was half a demand, half filled with dread, and Han wondered if his mother carried the same sense of foreboding as he had since he woke up. Her befuddled countenance indicated as much.

"I... I don't know," he confessed quietly.

Chewie huffed and grumbled to the pair of them. Rey's shrewd eyes sharpened on Han. "What happened?"

"She..." Han switched verbal direction. "It - It doesn't matter—"

" _What happened, Han_?"

Thinking better of propagating a lie for Amidala's sake (for his mom was too intuitive in her mind gifts anyhow), Han slumped his shoulders and mumbled, "She somehow managed to open the cell door—it – it was as if she knew the Stormtroopers were coming—and then... I'm not sure. I passed out. I suppose she knocked me out to prevent me from following her."

"Ami..." Rey murmured, her thoughts for her eldest wandering off in unequivocal horror, confusion.

"Whatever she's doing, Mum, we  _have_  to stop her! And Dad—"

"I think your father knows something's wrong," Rey assured him, sounding much calmer than she likely was. "If I can sense it, so can he."

Han suddenly jerked and raised his weapon at something outside of Rey's peripheral vision. " _Mum_!" he cried. "Behind you!"

Chewie's paw came down forcefully on top of Han's blaster rifle, pushing it to the side and away from its aim. Rey whirled around, noticed the individual who had startled her son, and relaxed. Han glanced back and forth between them, utterly confounded, whilst Astrid looked on, transfixed. He tried to squirm his blaster rifle free but Chewie reprimanded him in Wookie to 'cease' and 'desist'.

"It's all right, Han," said Rey. "This is Blaze. He's here to help."

The questionable-looking man named Blaze nodded towards the boy in a friendly enough matter, but the fact that he was donning black chrome,—armour normally adorned by a head Stormtrooper—as well as was holding the mask of a supposed Stormtrooper under his arm, kept Han on edge. He stopped wrestling Chewie to use his weapon but kept it raised and close to his chest.

"People around here call me Creed," Blaze replied, offering Han a smile that was slim and all too brief. He had a handsome face, scruffy and a bit hard around the edges, but his eyes were intense and serious.

Han warily surveyed him up and down, finally casting his gaze on his mother again in the hopes of ascertaining more as to what was going wrong. "Where's Uncle Luke?" he demanded.

"Trying to track down your father, I reckon," Blaze interjected for Rey, who turned to him appreciatively.

"We're so glad you came for us!"

Blaze blinked, his expression inscrutable. "I didn't come with Master Luke and the Wookie."

Rey angled her head at that. "What do you mean, Blaze?"

"I've been stationed here for some time," the feigning Stormtrooper confessed, though it did not appear as though he was confiding in her willingly. His shifty brown eyes darted from Rey to the floor and back to her.

Rey reared back, her entire body stiffening on the spot. "'Stationed'?" she strained.

Blaze sighed. "I wasn't sent to rescue you, Rey; it was rather a matter of convenience that I was already here. I was deployed here by the Resistance...some time ago."

A slow but harrowing realisation surfaced upon Rey's face. She jumped back when Blaze, also known as Officer Creed, tried to console her by reaching for her arm. "You've been spying on my husband," she determined in a soft but horrified murmur.

"Rey, listen to me—"

"I knew you weren't to be trusted!" Han exclaimed, throwing the adult exchange off by leaps and bounds. " _Lemme at him, Chewie_!"

In a split second, Han had bounded forward, blaster rifle still in hand, with the aims of striking the self-exposed double-crosser; but the Wookie snatched him up by the back of his collar and held him slightly off of the floor, preventing the boy's attack. Han's limbs flailed uselessly. Astrid scurried backward towards her cell door, perplexed by what was unfolding.

"Listen, the Resistance—" Blaze pleaded to explain but, this time, Rey was the one to stop him.

" _Don't_!" She seethed and bore her teeth. Her mind was frantic and spinning. "How could you...? How could you do this to  _Ben_ ; to  _me_?" She paused to raise an accusatory finger. " _Does my mother-in-law know_?"

"No," he confessed, mostly into his chest.

" _You sons of a Bantha_!" Rey cursed and threw up her arm. She had no idea what she intended to do at that moment,—perhaps strike him across the face—for she didn't have her lightsaber on hand, but she was obstinate about doing  _something_  that might expel the pain that matched the present, severe blow to her gut.

"Mummy!" Astrid called out, which halted Rey mid-swing. She stumbled, taken aback by her daughter's small but affecting cry, which allowed her littlest to run to her for protection. She scooped the tot up into her arms and stepped back towards Chewie and Han.

" _Listen_ , Rey, please!" Blaze begged in earnest. "You're well within your right to be as angry with the Resistance as you wish, but right now we  _need_  to get you and your family to safety!"

Rey narrowed her eyes, unyielding. "I'm not going anywhere without my daughter and my husband."

"Whatever plans Ben had in play to help you? They're going to hell in a hand basket." He chanced closing in on the family but Chewie's heated snarl prevented him from venturing another step. "Snoke's on his way, your daughter's gone missing and could be anywhere, and Ben couldn't get you out of this mess the first time! Master Luke and the Wookie here won't be much help to you either, I promise."

Rey, Chewie, and the children stared at him, unpersuaded by his rationalisations, so Blaze proposed, whispering in haste, "I know this place, too. I have Stormtroopers at my command. They won't strike without my authorization. I can get you safely to a ship, and then you can be on your way!"

" _No_ ," Rey avowed, "not without  _all_ of my family, Blaze."

Blaze dropped his hands to his side, flustered. "Master Luke will find Ben and Amidala, I'm sure of it."

"Rubbish! You don't know that for certain, Blaze! You think I can't tell when I'm being fed a lie?" Rey patted the back of Astrid's head as the girl began to whimper into the crook of her neck. "How dare you ask me to leave without them!"

"Rey—" He started and made to block her advance when she tried to walk around him.

" _Get out of my way_ ," she heeded. Even with a child in tow, Rey cut a threatening figure clad in her dirtied, periwinkle Jedi robes. Chewie additionally proclaimed a warning-like howl that sent Blaze scampering aside.

"Then let me at least assist you!" At Rey's inflexible glare, he beseeched her, "You don't have a map; you don't know your way! I can help you!"

"Then I suggest you start moving."

Blaze sucked in a breath. His eyes flashed from a resolved Rey to an angst-ridden Astrid, an angry, towering Wookie, and Han, still dangling by Chewie's paw and who had his blaster rifle unabashedly directed between the Stormtrooper's eyes.

"All right," he accepted, reluctant, though relieved to, for the moment, reach an agreement with the not-to-be-reckoned-with Jedi. He placed his Stormtrooper mask back onto his head. "We'll need reinforcements, though," he spoke through its voice contraption, which disguised his true tone.

Rey shifted Astrid to her opposite hip and nodded ahead of them. "Fine, but then take me directly to Ben."

Blaze—Officer Creed—bowed and motioned over his shoulder. "This way!"

*** * * * * ***

Ben scowled beneath the convenience of his black chrome cover, sensing the map he had downloaded for his family's benefit still tucked into his pocket. This plan was a mess, and he had been so cautious and meticulous in trying to get Rey and the children out of the clutches of their enemy. Yet, they were still here, and virtually nothing had worked in their favour. Ben hadn't been able to secure Rey's and Amidala's lightsabers without Snoke's interference, and the map he had downloaded remained in his possession. His uncle and Chewie had come supposedly to help, but what more would they be able to accomplish except raise more potential havoc?

Ben had intended to follow the 'prisoner'—to slip Chewie and Master Luke from underneath Officer Creed's vigilant surveillance—but Creed had apparently been given direct orders from General Hux to imprison the Wookie for further questioning.  _Just as I suspected_ , Ben grumbled, with a frustrated roll of his eyes.

Uncle Luke, in his own Stormtrooper getup (and of which Ben had no idea how he had managed to pull it off before a couple Stormtroopers stormed the cruiser) was, from his silence in coming face to face with Ben, evidently content to go along with those orders.  _Until he and Chewie botch things up by trying to get away!_ he bemoaned internally.

Having to make a speedy decision, Ben chose to leave Master Luke and Chewie to fend for themselves. They had willingly put their lives in danger, probably under the command of his mother, so they would have to find their own way out of this. The old man had to have  _some_  devised plan up his sleeve for separating himself and Chewie from Officer Creed—Ben's Force perceptions and his uncle's overlapped in their brief encounter at the main hanger, subtly attempting to scan the other's intentions—so Ben was all too willing to leave the screw-ups to their own devices. He had the welfare of his family to see to, first and foremost, and whatever Amidala was up to had had Ben's adrenaline pumping overtime for several agonising minutes now.

He had started to turn back and head for the elevators—perhaps he could intercept Master Luke on the way and exchange communication on Amidala's predicament—when the Supreme Leader's presence, spine-chilling and ever watchful, alarmed Ben's Force sensibilities.  _He's here_ , he realised in abject terror, his stomach and muscles clenching.

As if in slow motion, Ben turned his head and overheard the announcement of Snoke's arrival spread like a bolt of lightning through the base. Stormtroopers, lieutenants, and all level of personnel broke into sprints and emerged at the main hanger, everyone scrambling to take their place to properly welcome their great leader. Ben's feet moved like ten-ton weights towards the centre. He wanted to turn back at once, to run to his family's aid, and yet, his legs wouldn't cooperate. It was as though the Supreme Leader was purposely toying with his unprecedented power, pulling his commander in his direction against every ounce of freewill Ben possessed.

Ben wasn't aware of General Hux's presence until he was standing a hair or two in front of him, an obvious want to show his superiority. His hands were clammy and rubbing together, however, conveying the man's underlying nervousness about Snoke's arrival. Ben couldn't have cared less, until he realised who was standing beside the panting, sweaty general.

There, handcuffed and with Captain Lascius's gloved hand wrapped securely around her arm, stood Amidala. Her head was slightly lowered, but she tried to craftily twist her neck towards him. Ben stepped forward, ignoring General Hux's slight huff at Commander Ren daring to stand in front of him, and, unbeknownst to all, he and his daughter locked eyes.

Amidala looked remarkably poised and calm on the outside, and only her father could discern the fear revolving like a flame within her moonless eyes as she stared back at him.

Ben's throat tightened. His stomach was so taut that, for a moment, he thought he might bend over and retch in front of everyone. "What's  _she_  doing here?" he commanded in a quiet, panic-stricken whisper.

General Hux addressed Ben with an irritated sneer. "The Supreme Leader has asked for her personally. Hell if I know, but I intend to find out," he added whilst scanning Ben in a manner he found disconcerting.

Ben's eyes fixed on Amidala for another heart-pounding moment or two, she staring back in a similarly paralysed fashion. He could sense her all but begging to communicate with him, but he stomped that out like the slashing of a saber across his daughter's mouth. It gutted him to put up his guard, especially now, but with Snoke's ship now present and powering down, there could simply be no wiggle room for such precariousness.

For the first time in her short life, Ben could sense that Amidala felt entirely alone. As he tore his gaze away from her to the descending ramp that would soon present the Supreme Leader, he felt the familiar waves of dizziness and sickness shroud him in their crippling embrace. Everything  _was_  going to hell. What would he do now?

The door connected to the ramp  _whooshed_ open, its aperture momentarily clouded by billowing smoke from the ship's exhaust. Then Snoke came floating into view, decrepit and ghoulish and colossal in height. He looked as oppressive and petrifying as the nightmares whispered about him over the long ages suggested.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw Amidala visibly tremble despite being too stricken to move. A violent tug from Captain Lascius at her side abated much of the Padawan's shuddering. Every fibre of his being wanted to snatch his daughter and make a break for it.

"Commander Ren," said Snoke, his phantom-like voice, though soft, carrying tremendous verve across the quiet main hanger. "General Hux, Captain Lascius," he additionally addressed the other two as he reached the bottom of the ramp, where each, including Ben, knelt to the floor. Amidala was shoved to the ground as well, tripping over her feet as she was coerced to bow her head by Captain Lascius.

"Ahhh, and  _you_ ," Snoke acknowledged the dark-haired girl; Ben loathed how revoltingly personal the fiend's address of his daughter sounded. "Rise."

Ben, the general, and the captain easily succumbed as instructed. Captain Lascius yanked Amidala to her feet so roughly that she flinched. Ben jolted, feeling the ire of his Darkness thirsting to react.

"The youngling agitates you, Commander."

Ben jerked again, this time at Snoke's creepy, attentive observance. No matter that the manic had it wrong. He regretted giving way to his emotions at all and allowing them to be seen. He quickly lowered his head.

"Forgive me, Master. I was not aware that you had required an audience with one of the girl's offspring."

"Nor I, that  _you_  have evidently done the same, Commander Ren."

An electrical current sparked down Ben's spine. He could practically feel General Hux's inner cackling radiating off of the imperious twat from beside him, as he undoubtedly eyed the commander with unmitigated glee.

"Yes, Master," Ben rushed to provide explanation, "forgive my impertinence. I only intended to extract something useful for you; something about the mother or one of the children that you might find beneficial to the Proclamation's plans."

"Your boldness may be forgiven," Snoke declared as his wise, pervasive eyes inspected Ben as if the fallen Jedi was under a microscope. "And what conclusions have you drawn, Commander Ren?"

Ben fractionally raised his head, though he avoided the Supreme Leader's intrusive stare. There was little to be gained by playing the fool. He was bound to pay for his actions one way or another. He took a calculated breath and answered, straining to keep any feeling for his daughter under wraps, "She is strong in the ways of the Force, Master, in manners which she does not yet realise. She carries potential. She may prove a most useful weapon to us against the Resistance."

"Perhaps." Whatever arrangement Snoke had in mind for Ben's daughter, he kept it to himself. He turned his sights on Amidala, who promptly shivered under Snoke's scrutiny, shrunk, and looked towards the ground. "I'm pleased to see that you've come to your senses, youngling."

Amidala seemed adamant not to reply, though the Force swirling about her was expanding in indignation and consternation for herself and her loved ones. Ben was grateful for this small reprieve. Lashing out would only make matters worse for them, especially Amidala, and Ben wasn't at all prepared to watch helplessly from the side-lines.

"I shall get my confirmations," Snoke promised as he strode towards Amidala. He brought a ghostly hand, seemingly frail at a glance but powerful enough to crush a man with a mere wave, beneath her chin. He raised Amidala's head without much effort, but she enforced her averted gaze towards the floor still. "One way or the other...you will tell me what you know."

"I... I know nothing," she claimed, her words coming in doddery spurts.

"We shall see about that." Snoke's clouded grey eyes fell upon Ben, a strange glint fluttering across their depths. "Come, Commander Ren. We have much to discuss."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Thank you to those who review...**


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Just as a mention, Chapter 20 onward has been written post-seeing _The Last Jedi_. Thus, I will be incorporating certain aspects of canon from that film into the story from here whilst leaving other elements of it alone. This story has always been very much AU, and it will remain that way.**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 20**

" _No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell."_

—C. G. Jung

' _If you heed none of my advice, Rey, do only this: stay away from my nephew.'_

_Well,_ that _sure_ _put a kink in the blossoming junk pile that was Rey's and Ben's bemusing sentiments, a hefty development Master Luke had unearthed with supposedly little need for Force probing._

Why should I? _had been Rey's initial instinct of stubbornness towards her teacher that nettlesome morning, her reaction hot and bothered by what felt like a threat rather than proper guidance from the wise Jedi whom she had so quickly formed a parental attachment to; but she ultimately refrained, and only because Ben suddenly wandered into the room at that precise moment, looking alluringly dishevelled in his loose, swaying robes and his mop of curls dangling every which way on account of where her fingers had hungrily pulled at them earlier in bed. He appeared otherwise unaware of hers and Master Luke's too brief, sharp exchange, but that was a small gratification in the grand scheme of things._

_For all Rey knew, Master Luke had read her response in her mind, and that was as paramount as any. She was tired of being torn apart over how to feel and what to do and spent the remainder of breakfast that day, as well as the long hours that stretched into days thereafter, labouring over Master Luke's warning without pause._

_With each fiery engagement of their sabers during practice sessions, Rey manhandled Ben back with more force than she had ever intended to use, her movements akin to their cutthroat battle on Starkiller. With each spine-tingling, penetrating gaze exchanged during meals, between training sessions, or in passing, like two ships on opposite courses but following the same rotation, Rey no longer stared back at Ben but diverted her eyes._

_This, she was certain, confounded Ben, but he asked nothing. She saw no reason to inform him of what Master Luke had said to her in confidence—at least, not yet. His and his uncle's capricious relationship was already on pins and needles and she had no aim of making matters worse. Those two had their own qualms to sort out._

_An infuriating, conflicting factor for Rey remained, however:_ Shouldn't I be free to make my own bloody choices?

_In moments of weakness, when the outrage she wasn't handling boiled over, resulting in flung rocks during meditations that only just scraped past Master Luke's head; or particularly hard blows to Ben's limbs with her lightsaber that saw Rey being eyed over more crossly than usual, Rey exclaimed her remedy. She tried grounding all pent-up frustrations into her training, but her feelings repeatedly got in the way of her concentration._

_Liking someone really_ was _a damned distraction, Rey exasperatingly discovered, and that was, in short, inexcusable, for she knew she needed all of her efforts to be focused on her mission: to train with Luke Skywalker and, together (alongside Ben Solo now, too, the Universe willing), take down Snoke and the First Order._

_Rey made a new conscientious endeavour to keep Ben at a cold distance, but the silently deafening nights worsened her vulnerabilities when it came to combating loneliness, and she was too inept to stay away for long. At some point during the night, she would crawl into Ben's makeshift bed and curl up at his back or shimmy herself underneath the comforting weight of one of his enormous arms._

_After three or four days of this playing out, Ben stopped responding to her visitations, though he didn't make any stabs at kicking her out either. He lay like a log at her side, neither engaging nor dismissing her._

_Rey understood this to be her fault. Hadn't she been pestering him to open up to her and communicate, and here she was acting a hypocrite to the lesson she had been so pertinaciously preaching? Ben didn't press her for an explanation as to why things had so suddenly chilled between them, but then, Rey supposed, he didn't necessarily have to. Their Force bond was too powerful now to entirely keep one another out of each other's heads._

_Five days following Master Luke's unfriendly caution over breakfast, the subject was broached before the pink, setting sun. Deciding that she needed space following hers and Ben's latest gruelling training rounds, Rey climbed the rocks on the southwest side of the island to a secluded, circular crest after dinner, with the aim of emptying her mind...and (hopefully) dumping out her mixed bag of feelings as well. She desired isolation and control, and it was in the midst of an arduous lightsaber practice that Rey sensed Ben approaching from behind—felt his shrewdly observant, dark eyes at her back—and, after shaving an enormous rock in half, exercising remarkable speed and precision, Rey turned to acknowledge her company, meeting his stringent gaze with a quiet but no less unsettled stillness._

_The rock Rey had sliced tumbled against the cliff and crashed into the ocean below, providing the only sounds to reverberate in between them. Neither spoke, their Forces circling and flicking at one another's energy, testing the mood for a time._

_Finally, Rey splintered the silence, the wind picking up as she pointedly proposed, "You've spoken before of your mistrust of Master Luke..."_

" _Yes," he replied sharply, his voice low and calculated._

" _And, to that end, you've refused to give me an answer."_

" _Won't the answer I provide be misconstrued as meddling?"_

" _Depends on your angle, Ben."_

_Staring hard at his unmoving, cloaked figure, which stood before a steep incline that rose some twenty feet higher above them, a great emotional precipice was drawing near. His limbs were one with the jagged rocks but his robes billowed and whipped at the fresh, evening air, much like glimpses of the tantalising secrets he kept under lock and key._

_Rey stepped closer, lightsaber lowered to her side. "What happened to change the course of your relationship with Master Luke? Where does your conviction that he will turn on you again come from, Ben? I... I_ have _to understand."_

_Ben stared on, unblinking, eyes shifting slightly but never withdrawing inward. They seemed to be in contention, crashing against, as yet, unspoken revelations that held the potential to peel back the veil on that closeted skeleton between a distant uncle and his fallen nephew at last. He opened his mouth and then shut it, wavering between confiding in Rey and shutting down._

_Rey hardly breathed, knowing how achingly close she was to the truth. If he would but bend to her another inch..._

' _I can show you,' his energy teased in her ears, those words echoing around her, like the thrumming of the harsh ocean breeze, 'but you won't like it.'_

' _Show me anyway.'_

_He shrunk from her, though his measured regard held. 'But you love him.'_

_Rey tilted, shaken by that poked thorn. She ignored the tingle of misgiving fiddling up her spine as well, determined not to give it life._

' _Yes...I do,' she confessed in a faint moan. 'And so do_ you _, Ben.' Catching the flash of something unhinged sparking by Ben's searching, swirling irises, she pressed quietly, 'I just want truth. Only truth.'_

_The atmosphere was thick with tension, but Ben bowed his head to Rey's will, and the gentle touch of his Force sensitivities skimmed a crease in the middle of her forehead, requesting entry. 'As you wish...' he conceded and, without issuing force or purposely dawdling a moment longer, he entered Rey's mind._

_A rush overthrew her surroundings, much like the whirling ocean gust, and Rey was suddenly thrust back in time. She emerged, no longer at the southwest edge of Ahch-To but inside a stone hut similar to the one she, Ben, and Luke occupied in the present day. She squinted at the darkness, as there was no fire burning or torches lit to provide adequate light._

_It took only moments to notice Ben, though he wasn't his present self, towering and formidable and irrevocably broken, but the young, tortured teenager she recognised from her own stolen memories. He was lying on his side, curled up on a mattress and fast asleep, but there was no peace to speak of lining the boy's face. His grim, heavy features foreshadowed the uncommunicated troubles that had plagued him since well before he had arrived at the Jedi Temple, seeking refuge and hoping to curb Snoke's terrible influence with the help of his legendary uncle._

_Suddenly, a pool of sea green light erupted, its light source forming a trimmed, darker-bearded Master Luke looming behind Ben's sleeping form. Rey's heart clenched, the rest of her freezing into place. In one hand, her master held a lightsaber and, in the other, he outstretched his fingers to pry into his nephew's dozing, unprotected mind. To Rey's mounting distress, he looked fearful and ghostly pale over what he saw._

_Those same widened, maddening eyes veered from Ben to the lightsaber and back to the boy, the decision he grappled with awakening Rey like a comet ricocheting through time and space: Master Luke was contemplating killing Ben Solo._

_Suddenly sensing a disturbance, Ben languidly opened his eyes and rolled onto his side, where he greeted the same horrifying, murderous look from Master Luke as Rey was witnessing for herself. Her heartbeat pounded and rang in her ears, just as, she suspected, Ben's must have done in that heart-seizing moment._

_She could hardly believe what was unfolding: the infamous Luke Skywalker, beloved the galaxy over for saving Darth Vader out of the fiercest act of compassion and love, was raising his arm to strike down his nephew, and a helpless Rey could do nothing but watch._

_She might have screamed—she wasn't aware of her breathing anymore—but at the same time as Rey either gasped or cried out, Ben summoned his saber to meet his uncle's attack. Their sabers clashed, shattering trust and spitting fire, whilst the ground beneath them trembled and roared. Rey staggered to keep her balance as the rocks above her began to give way. She saw Ben throw his free arm into the air to push Master Luke back—perhaps, to bury him in the mounting debris—but then, like being sucked through a black hole that knocked Rey clear off her feet, everything became shrouded in darkness, the last sound throttling through a family's disintegration that of Master Luke screaming Ben's name._

_In the next moment, Rey was on her feet again, quaking and unsteady as they were, on the southwest portion of Ahch-To, with Ben standing motionlessly in front of her, as he had been prior to entering her mind. The gust had kicked into higher gear, whiplashing Rey's cheeks as she tried desperately to penetrate Ben's thoughts. The prickling of tears stung her eyes as they leaked out, only to be caught by the furious, circling winds._

" _Please tell me you're lying," she choked, her words overpowered by the gusts' sharp groans but discernible to Ben because of their intimate Force connection, which neither had terminated._

" _You know I'm not," came his icy, unforgiving reply._

_Rey stammered, tears falling freely, "I... I don't understand..."_

" _Yes, you do. He feared my powers. He knew what I was becoming and was too scared to confront it."_

" _But—"_

" _I had turned."_

_To Rey, that answer didn't—and wouldn't—suffice for what it had amounted to. "But you're his flesh and blood!" she exclaimed, finding it difficult to speak and rationalise at the same time. "You're his family! You're his sister's only_ son _—"_

" _I'm also a 'monster', remember?" he crudely reminded Rey, taking her to task on one of her descriptions of him from the not-too-distant past; but this wasn't an argument. He was stating a cruel fact, much like a parent tells a child that the colour of the sky is blue. "This is my family dynamic, Rey. You can't choose what you want to see—"_

"Don't _!"_

_Rey whipped her head towards the ocean in order to wipe away the tears that continued their furious descent, despite her utmost desire for them to cease. Rage and despair and everything in between boiled her blood and kept her eyes burning._

_All of her life, she had yearned for such a belonging as the one Ben seemed rather privileged to have grown up in, with such admirable figures as Han Solo and Luke Skywalker to call his family, and yet, as it had morbidly been revealed to her, that home hadn't been as homey and warm as Rey imagined. It was embroiled in estrangement, miscommunication, and, now, attempted murder._

_Rey's thoughts spun out of synch, unable to attach themselves to anything that might comfort and explain away what she had seen in Ben's recounting of a soured relationship. As her pained eyes slowly fell back upon Ben, quiet and emotionless (at least, outwardly), his strength nearly broke hers._

" _You... You don't blame him?" she questioned through a strained murmur, sensing the concealed turmoil that had, ultimately, soiled Ben's heart._

_Ben merely blinked and angled his head. "Why would I blame him for ensuring I became what I was destined to be?"_

" _Shut it," Rey warned, hissing and bearing her teeth. "A Sith of Darkness is_ not _who you were ever meant to be, and we both know that now! Is your life worth_ nothing _to you, Ben?"_

" _Is it worth something to_ you _?" he challenged in short, eyes narrowed and abrasive._

" _YES!" Rey shot back, fighting the emergence of more tears as she stared up at him, her expression imploring and strangely wise. "And it_ should _have mattered to Master Luke just as much!"_

_Alas, Ben shrugged off that point. "The old man feels guilty."_

" _Guilt is to be expected but—"_

" _I thought you wanted me to face my transgressions, Rey. This is one of them."_

_Rey reared back, stunted. "What, excusing your uncle's attempt on your life?"_

" _If you like."_

_Rey's outrage exploded in expanded eyes and a dropped jaw. "That's insane, Ben!"_

" _I tend to agree." His Adam's apple bobbed up and down, his stare hardening. "You, too, desired to do to me what my uncle attempted to once for yourself, as I recall, not long ago," he cuttingly provoked, shooting Rey a sneer that could curdle milk._

_Rey felt as if the wind had, at last, knocked her over, but, somehow, she was still on her feet. "That's unnecessary..."_

" _But the truth, nonetheless," Ben coolly countered, no solace to be found in that blunt bestowment._

_Rey took a moment to catch her breath and calm her energy. "You_ are _hurt, Ben," she spoke, instead, with softness and understanding, "and I understand why. Your uncle's wrought with guilt; I understand that, too."_

_Ben's sneer darkened, casting an eerie ambience against the piercing breezes that tousled his soft, feathery hair. "His guilt is inconsequential to his actions."_

" _Yet, there are times still when you wish he'd succeeded." Stifling a break down, Rey shook her head, watery eyes pleading. "Don't, Ben..."_

_Seeing past the walls to that uncomfortable, brittle flicker of anguish he was trying to hide, an unforeseen clarity and newfound commitment surfaced for Rey. Maybe bringing Master Luke back into the fold to help them win this war wasn't the Force's only will. Luke Skywalker wasn't the Light's last hope, nor was she._

' _It's you,' Rey stated across the wind, breathless, with such certainty as to rustle the trees and part the livid skies. 'Of course... Ben... It's always been_ you _.'_

_Ben didn't clench or speak, prompting Rey to step forward into his personal space and touch his arm. He flinched under her thoughtfully intrusive gaze but maintained his footing._

" _I'll help you," she declared in an urgent but gentle manner, inching nearer still, "I swear it. You're not alone, Ben. Not anymore. Your way is clear; clearer than it's ever been."_

_Their stares locked, each suspended by the other's wordless but intensive focus. Neither's energy saw fit to yield, though the raging gusts quieted with each passing moment that extended, much like Ben Solo's forsaken soul, its' rejected fragments stretching futilely towards the heavens from the very pits of Hell._

_Then, gradually, as if in slow motion, Ben retreated. There was no answer or reason why, but his arm slipped out of Rey's grasp and his eyes, murky and restless, tore away from hers and aimed for the heights above. She watched his surging, stark form ascend the steep incline and disappear at the top of the island beyond her sight._

_Rey wasn't sure why the urge to tear up proved so overbearing that evening, but she succumbed with tremendous ease, plummeting to her knees and crying for what felt like an Age. She wept for the parents who had handed her off, for the loss of Han Solo, for the hard-blowing fall from grace that was Luke Skywalker, and for all of poor General Organa's misplaced hopes in someone she should have had every confidence to believe: her twin brother._

_Most of all, she wept for what ultimately had propelled Ben Solo into rebirthing himself as Kylo Ren: it hadn't all been Snoke's master manipulation, after all, but Master Luke's doing as well. He had a responsibility in turning his nephew to the Dark Side, and the sickening realisation of that left Rey feeling galled and cheated._

How could he let it happen? _Rey questioned until she was on the verge of mental and physical collapse, seeking resolution from the silent stars overhead._ _Luke Skywalker, a Jedi she, like so many others, revered, who had gone to the greatest lengths possible to save a violent father he had barely known, apparently hadn't thought twice about killing his own nephew._ How?

*** * * * * ***

_Ben took the longest, most treacherous route across the island, no intentions in mind but one: to recede._

_He had anticipated that the time to act upon his precarious choice, which, really, was damning either way, would soon come, and he had fully expected to face it alone. It was clear on that cliff, however, to the point that Ben had been momentarily paralysed by its horror, that Rey was too involved and mixed up in his personal seeking-absolution-baggage now (which could never amount to much anyhow except with, perhaps, the giving of his life), and, really, the girl should receive no more disappoints that might bear Ben's name. As such, he already bore as much accountability in the attachment Rey had formed to his person as she had also been mistakenly free to make on her own._

Yet, that didn't stop you, did it?

_He had set them both up for failure, and wasn't that just like Ben Solo's lot in life? He had been weak-willed and pathetic, unable to stop himself from relating to her—to letting slip his deep-seated cravings for the same companionship and sanctuary most managed to find in other people—and to her sweet faith and ferocious goodness, both of which he sorely lacked. He had acted a coward. And to what end but to pitifully flee from himself?_

Yes. You _are_ a coward.

_He liked Rey. In fact, if his deprived, blackened heart was capable of feeling_ anything _anymore, and Ben Solo's heart, at least, had refused to beat—or bleed—for anything outside of its nemesis' desires for supremacy and power in years, he liked Rey more than he had ever liked almost anyone._

Almost.

_Sure, he had liked his dad sometimes when the fabled smuggler wasn't avoiding his parental responsibilities or making snide, exasperated comments to Ben's mother about their son's mark for Darkness, such painful words expressed mostly out of naked ignorance rather than lack of compassion; but even then, Han Solo had struggled with the emotional compartments of fatherhood. An awkward pat on the back or a shifty, upset grimace was about all he communicated to his only son to illustrate that he cared when far more was needed and required of him._

_He had liked his mother more so, though, ultimately, she hadn't put him first and, instead, put the welfare of the galaxy above his own. For a time, she wouldn't so much as acknowledge the problematic patterns in her son that had been there before his time and, for which, she was familiar: in her father, Darth Vader, a man she adamantly refused to recognise as a part of their family lineage. Rather, she examined Ben through narrowed lenses, determined to help him overcome the Darkness that had made its home in his bones whilst, at the same time, refuting to look upon how deep those troubled waters ran in her bloodline._

_So, yes, he liked Rey. She wasn't frightened of his powers—at least, not anymore—and had no interest in controlling him either, unlike everyone else in his life. Most astonishing of all, she didn't want to see him dead, and there was something awfully honourable (as well as ridiculously foolish) in that blunder of a disposition. Her endearing naivetés only wanted to better understand him and, to that end, too, she should be commended, though Ben thought the whole principle grossly wasted on him._

_Kylo Ren was a monster, after all, fashioned from the ashes of Ben Solo, and Ben was a name he wasn't quite certain he had the right to carry or answer to anymore. He had killed it long ago, hadn't he? His uncle only spoke it now out of a desperate wish to be pardoned for expelling it from him. Rey addressed him by the name for no valid reason other than, he supposed, remembering who Ben Solo had once been to her when she was a youngster and orphaned: a friend._

_But was he Ben Solo now? It was an hour by hour, second by second internal war inside of him trying to wiggle that name back into existence. He answered to it, sure, because it was what his company wanted to see, but that didn't make Ben Solo a real, tangible thing...did it?_

Rey believes. _And what a petrifying revelation it was to see that belief, bright and brilliant in the scavenger's eyes, upon that cliff an hour ago._

_How could Ben Solo possibly be expected to save the galaxy when he couldn't save himself? Had Rey considered_ that _, or just_ who _she was mistakenly pouring every ounce of faith into?_

No... She's too pure of heart—a perilous shortcoming, no doubt—to consider other angles.

_Rey was a spitfire in a spiralling, dark world; a beacon where there were no others to be found._

Yes... You _do_ like her. Who the hell wouldn't, least of all an ugly, Hutt-spawn brute such as yourself?

_The pesky creases along Ben's brow and around his mouth, formed long before they ever should have appeared on such a young man, sunk as he trekked over ancient stumps and overgrown brush. Each step was lost and without purpose, his energy toiling, spiking, and flailing to grasp and crush; to destroy. That had been the only skill he had ever really perfected in his short life: to wreck everyone and everything he loved, including himself, though, of course, loving oneself when you were Ben Solo was highly debatable._

_Ben stumbled onto a clearing where the forest broke away and the rolling landscape opened. The stars, too, were brightest from this vantage point._

_Here, Ben stopped. This spot had served as his and Rey's suitable lightsaber training grounds for the past seven or eight weeks, but its familiarity wasn't what stopped him dead in his tracks. Rather, a remote, beige-cladded figure standing at the centre of it all brought him to a pause. Ben didn't move, and neither did Master Luke. The Jedi's arms hovered at his sides, his brown cloak swaying at the ankles and rippling with the light breeze that whispered of ominous, unexpressed thoughts, past hurts, and unforgotten wrongdoings._

_Master Luke hadn't come to this spot to meditate; he had been waiting for Ben. Kylo. Whichever identity was to be his chosen path._

_Ill prepared to confront it now, Ben stalked ahead, with the purpose of passing his uncle by unprovoked. The old man wasn't on his radar this evening, and he wasn't ready to be bothered with such difficulties._

When will you _ever_ be ready? _a voice, faraway but achingly remembered, questioned, stilling Ben's gait._

_The igniting of a lightsaber halted Ben fully. His shoulders hunched, his body put on the defence. The saber hummed, much like the drumming of a reckoning yet to be realised._

" _Come to finish what you started, uncle?" Ben snapped, unable to prevent his tongue from piercing the needle a little farther into Master Luke's wrestling shame and ire. He had always had a proclivity towards wounding others when it was he, in fact, who was bleeding out._

" _It seems I continue to underestimate you, Ben," Master Luke replied, not rising to his bait._

_Ben snorted. "It's your greatest weakness."_

" _That it may be, but I'm here to confront it, nonetheless."_

_Raising an offensive eyebrow, Ben flung the hood of his cloak back to reveal the hauntings he bore openly, and extracted his own crossguard saber from its halter. Its flaming, red crystals tremored at his calling, an abnormal reaction that alarmed his charging energy. He made to ignore its faulty awakening._

" _I suppose this_ is _long overdue," Ben suggested, that threat holding tremendous space and weight between them, though Master Luke's frown indicated something else._

" _I don't_ want _to fight you, Ben—"_

" _Sure you don't," Ben scoffed, the Darkness flanking him at both sides, freshly alight and thirsting for blood._

"— _but your hold over Rey stops here."_

"' _Hold'?" Ben blinked, his eyes glowing like two orbs entrenched in shadow. "What are getting at, old man?"_

_Master Luke's demeanour was calm but resolute. "You know of what I speak."_

_Ben's cheeks seeped with richer colour, and he had never been quite so grateful for the night's cover. "I hold no sway over your precious Padawan; a Padawan whom_ you _made the mistake of lying to."_

" _I was trying to protect her from more heartache."_

" _By denying her the truth. That's_ your _botched up_ _method for dealing with hardship, not a Jedi's."_

" _You lied to her, too, Ben," Master Luke cautioned. "You wiped her memories."_

_A weight pressed against Ben's chest. "She's at liberty to make whatever decisions she chooses. Don't blame_ me _for_ your _defects in not successfully brainwashing her into what to think and how to behave. That's_ your _cross to bear."_

" _You have no right to interfere with her training, Ben!" For the first time, Ben detected a twinge of fury rising in the even-tempered Jedi. "You have no place influencing her!"_

" _I've done no such thing," Ben barked back, heels turning and digging deeper into the loose mud at his feet._

" _I know you, Ben," Master Luke whispered, like an invisible bind connecting them, for better or for worse, "better than you know yourself."_

" _Another one of your over-confidences!" Ben growled, pounding his boots into the dirt, and was appeased by Master Luke's visible tick. "You haven't known me properly my entire life,_ uncle _."_

_Master Luke closed his energy off, his Force sensibilities stepping back from the fight; but there was no peace here. No master, nor turned student, claiming defeat. He held tight to the handle of his lightsaber, eyes seeking Ben's, in search of the younger boy he had renounced years ago._

_Ben's upper lip curled back, at the ready. "Shall we?"_

_Master Luke's mouth formed a delicate shape. "Ben, I..."_

" _What did you think would happen here?"_

_Master Luke gave no reply. It seemed he had hoped to reach an accord without resorting to a fight, and yet, slowly, his grip on his lightsaber tightened, resigned, a subtle but significant movement that coaxed Ben into action. This night would result in resolution, further shame, or death. Perhaps death, Ben reasoned, was most appropriate to, at last, put an end to the Skywalkers' relentless cycle of destruction and heartache._

_Ben charged first, sprinting as fast as his well-built legs could fly, and swung his saber wide, its full tilt landing inches from Master Luke's face. One of the crosses nearly lacerated the elder man's ear but he darted sideways to avoid the strike._

_Master Luke twisted at the waist to catch Ben off kilter from the side, but Ben raised his saber in time to meet his hit, blood red meshing with blinding blue. The stars above burnt on, dazzling in their brightness and flashing in their conflict, whilst the trees mourned in long, drawn out moans. The air was alive with revolving Darkness and Light, each striving for the upper hand; each rising to meet the other's attempts._

_Master Luke rammed Ben's volatile energy, shoving him backward with more might than Ben anticipated; but he recovered well, shuffling his feet several meters to the right and swooping in for three more thrashes, each one blocked by his uncle. The second and third were barely recoverable, however, and Master Luke's legs stumbled at the sheer force used behind them to bring him down._

_The next swing cost the experienced Jedi, for his shaking, raised arm failed to keep the end of Ben's saber from nicking him on the neck. The cut drew blood, though not enough to cause a fatal injury. Master Luke flinched in pain and threw a hand over the injury, struggling to meet the several harder blows that followed after._

_Upon the fourth or fifth hit, Master Luke's body exhausted itself. He crashed onto his knees and, shaken, stared up at what would surely be his executioner, crushed and afraid and accepting all at once. The harrowing image that spun before him, which he figured would be his last, was that of Ben's crossguard saber driving fluidly through the air and coming down to shave his head clear from his body. He braced himself for the impact, the echo of Ben's battle cry piercing his eardrums as it drew close; as the saber steered straight towards him...and then abruptly halted its attainment._

_Master Luke's eyes chanced a blink and then another. Startlingly, miraculously, he was still alive, and his beating heart had never been more present to him than at this crucial moment. Ben hadn't run him through, but he was no less at the man's mercy, as the saber hovered in mid-air, uncomfortably close to Master Luke's jaw._

_He stole a glance at his nephew. Above, Ben's Darkness whirled, whispering softly of sins to commit and lives to take, whilst, below, like a man set to be crucified, Master Luke held his breath. How could all of his instrumental efforts to see balance restored crumble a second time, with the final puzzle piece set for his nephew to sever every family lifeline? Han had failed in turning his son's heart, now he was failing Ben again, and in the sequence of passion that passed by Master Luke's eyes, he detected deep, resounding resentment, untameable rage, and, louder than the first and second, the meagre, wistful cries of a child begging to be relieved of his plight._

_Master Luke reacted. He jammed his lightsaber forward and split a piece of fabric at Ben's shoulder open, the tip of the saber penetrating the skin. Ben reared back, caught off his guard, but met Master Luke's next swing, though his wobbly footing betrayed him. He slipped on the mud and hit the ground hard. Dirt splattered everywhere, hitting him in the face and eyes, and his crossguard saber dislodged out of his hand. His saber had never denounced him before and Ben started, speechless._

_Nevertheless, he was left defenceless and stared up at his uncle, wide-eyed. The smell of death was palpable and, oddly, welcoming as Ben lay splayed upon the soft, unbeaten earth, his sight towards the heavens. He didn't attempt to raise his arms and protect himself but watched, with curious wonderment, as Master Luke's lightsaber rose behind his head and then hurled towards him, its stupendous speed a thing of wild, unmatched beauty._

_The rumble of another voice, as well as another saber colliding with Master Luke's before it could smother its target, suddenly overran Ben's view of the sky. It took a couple seconds for him to recognise the outline of Rey, crouching over him and squaring off against her famed teacher._

" _If you kill him," she snarled, and her heed was foreign to both men, yet stirring in its protectiveness, "you forfeit our greatest chance of success at winning this war! You also forfeit_ any _chance of earning my forgiveness, Leia's, or Ben's!"_

" _Rey," Master Luke gasped, his voice quivering slightly, "I wasn't—"_

"Stand. Down. _"_

_That command was about as affective and authoritative as Ben had ever recalled from greater figurers he had encountered in his lifetime, such as an overbearing Supreme Leader of the First Order or, to the opposite end, a steadfast general leading her ranks against all those who trampled on their democracy. Master Luke evidently thought so, too, for he stepped aside, held his lightsaber at a distance, and hung his head._

_Rey whirled around and shoved a hand in Ben's face. Though stunned and numbed, having expected to encounter darkness and, hopefully, eternal peace seconds before, he accepted the gesture, the faintest of trembles shooting through their fingertips, pumping and streaming, as their hands made contact. Heat and tranquillity and Light—Light, above all else—flowed through their veins, rapt to hold the connection unbroken._

_Despite her small stature, Rey attempted to help heave Ben onto his own two feet (though it was more his physical strength that saw him rising at all). Their gazes fastened to each other for the briefest moment, self-assurance transcending Rey's face._

_By the time Ben and Rey had shifted their sights towards Master Luke, his lightsaber had been discharged and was dangling at his side. His blue eyes were rueful and beseeching, mostly towards Rey, and she spoke up in rapid succession before he could so much as breathe a word._

" _This is_ not _how this ends," she chided and disengaged, too, by turning off her saber._

_The silence that took over for the saber's quiet vibrations was stifling. "I... I wasn't..." Master Luke wrestled to explain, surrendering to a hard, aggravated sigh._

_Rey turned her head towards Ben, conveying without the need for words her desire to speak to the shame-faced Jedi alone. Ben agreed, offered a parting nod to her alone, and strode off towards the hut, his strides ruffled but committed. The last look he gave his uncle before departing was one of bitter tolerance and Master Luke, though disheartened, felt entirely unfit to call after him._

_Once Ben's footsteps were a considerable distance away and no longer detectable to their ears, Master Luke spoke,_ _"He's deeply troubled."_

_Rey didn't so much as rattle. "Aren't we all?"_

_Master Luke's alerting expression went unchanged. "His demons are far more detrimental than you think, Rey."_

" _And he's tamed them a lot since he first came here, hasn't he?"_

_Her sagacious teacher shook his head. "Anger, revenge, betrayal... These are the motives that drive him."_

" _That drove Kylo Ren, you mean."_

_Master Luke stilled, a long-held pain emerging. "I want him to turn as badly as you do, Rey, but..."_

"' _But'?" Rey pushed, not backing down._

_Master Luke swallowed, resisting the urge to speak for a couple moments. "I fear he_ is _lost."_

" _Because of some mysterious grip you think he has over me?" she scoffed, eyes narrowed into slits._

_Master Luke rebuffed her scolding look by glancing towards the ground. "Yes, I confess, I thought he was starting to have an influence on you..."_

" _Well, he doesn't!" she bit in return, pinning her Master in place with the drastic flare in her temper. "I can make up my own bloody mind about your nephew, thank you, and I believe in him. You should, too, unless..."_

_A short pause later and Master Luke asked, "What, Rey?"_

" _Unless you never did," she finished, her words unsteady but strong._

_Master Luke gazed at his Padawan as though she had struck him across the face. "I do! I did—"_

" _Then_ why _?" she lashed out, suppressing a sudden sob at the back of her throat. "Why'd you do it?"_

" _Rey..."_

" _You pushed him to it!_ YOU _!"_

" _I saw the Darkness in him," Master Luke argued, desperate-sounding and despairing. "Snoke had turned him! I was too late!"_

"Rubbish _!" Rey spat between clenched teeth. "Snoke may have already sunk his teeth into Ben and claimed him, but_ you _gave him the final push!_ You did it _!"_

_Master Luke went quiet, eyes watery but fixed. It was a lengthy while before he confessed, in a hoarse-like whisper, "I did...and I'm deeply ashamed of it. I have been every day since it happened..."_

" _Yet, you repel the probability that_ he _is our hope for the future," Rey countered, her anger continuing to churn._

_Master Luke silenced himself once more, the wheels evidently turning behind the teary eyes. Eventually, he said,_ _"He fell once... He can fall again."_

_Rey would have thrown her lightsaber at the old man's head had she the violent streak in her, and for a second, her arm itched for release and she contemplated doing so. Perhaps it was the only way to knock some sense into him._

" _So can_ you _, Master; so can I; so can all of us." She sucked in a breath. "Belief is what sustains us at our weakest. Don't be weak, Master. Not now. Ben needs you. He needs_ us _."_

_Master Luke's face fluttered between surprise and acknowledgment, though he didn't speak of any persuasion. Either way, Rey took it as the Jedi's compliance. For now. She was still peeved at him, naturally, but her Force energy had, at least, subdued and she willed it to cool further._

_She turned her back on Master Luke, leaving him to bask in dishonour and reproach, and headed for the hut as well. Her conviction could no longer be shaken, and the stars in the sky seemed to share the credence Rey had theorised—and wept over—earlier that night: Ben Solo_ was _their last hope. Without him, their future—the Resistance, freedom, the Light—was doomed._

' _I_ will _help him,' she avowed to herself, 'I swear it.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/Ns (cont.) : Thank you to those who review. There seems to be maybe two or three of you, and I'm glad you're here...**


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 21**

_"Hope is the thing with feathers_

_That perches in the soul_

_And sings the tune without the words_

_And never stops at all."_

―Emily Dickinson

_Rey awoke to the rumbling of a ship flying closely overhead. Too close. From what sounded like mere feet from the hut, it began to power down, its exhaust stirring up a wind funnel that fluttered the curtains inside. Rey shot up in bed and pried her eyes open, squinting at the blinding sunlight that poured in through a small window in the room she had come to share with Ben. Well, technically the room was still_ his _, but over the past few weeks, she had somehow converted it into a communal space for the pair of them. And as far as she could gather, Ben didn't mind this transition. He hadn't tempted her into doing anything more than snuggling either, which her deprived soul was immensely abated by. She enjoyed burrowing herself into the man's thick chest or against the curve of his back each night—desperately so—and hoped (rather foolishly, she suspected) that it would never end._

_Beside her, Ben's limp form stirred beneath the covers but didn't rise as she had. He grumbled inaudible utterances into his pillow (which sounded like curse words to her ears), sighed in aggravation, and chose—at least, for the moment—_ not _to investigate whomever was making an obnoxiously ear-splitting ruckus in trying to land their aircraft on un-solid ground. Sleep was far more enticing an option at the moment and Ben hadn't received much of_ that _since well before—or after—arriving on this wretched island, nor had his mind and body been spared the past couple of days since his near fatal confrontation with Uncle Luke._

_The two were barely on speaking terms as it were, with Rey acting as the mature go-between the vindicated nephew and wrongfully behaving uncle. Making eye contact over meals or during lessons was a trying effort enough, particularly for the elder Jedi, who spent most of his time bowing his head and wearing his shame on his sleeve._

_Ben wasn't interested in an apology. He hadn't gotten one as an innocent teenager, torn apart by the Darkness battling for dominance inside of him, which he had thought (wrongfully) needed help in being tamed, so why should he expect one now? An expression of regret from his uncle was as critical to him as the falsehood he had come to wear in adulthood: utterly pointless._

_Recognising the sound of the engine before it fully shut off, Rey threw back the thread-bare blanket she and Ben were sharing and hopped into her boots, straining to keep quiet as she readied herself. The sudden emptiness beside him, at last, goaded Ben to roll onto his back and half open an eyelid to inquire after her withdraw._

_"What are you doing?" he mumbled, forced to end that question in a strangled yawn that he concealed behind his hand._

_"He's here!" she exclaimed rather unhelpfully, her energy buzzing with excitement and anticipation._

_After recovering, Ben lowered his arm, sounding shattered as he pressed her quietly, "Who?"_

_"Chewie! For the Resistance! He's come to take us back!"_

_Wasting no further time explaining matters, Rey tore out of the room, throwing back the curtain as she exited. Her footsteps bounded across the next two rooms, reverberating in their elation as she made for the door._

_In slow motion, Ben stirred and rose onto his elbows, a firm crease forming between his troubled eyes, and remained perfectly still, his chest hardly rising and falling. '_ Take us back _'? he reiterated to himself, his mind filling with all sorts of fresh questions, mostly to calm the bile, too, which was climbing out of the pit of his stomach._

Chewie.

_He hadn't laid proper eyes on the Wookie in what had to have been, at least, twelve or thirteen years. Chewie had been one of the last to wish him well before his parents had brought him to Ahch-To to train with Uncle Luke, and their parting had been a teary one. Chewie had practically suffocated Ben as they hugged and said their goodbyes, and it had taken Ben days following that gut-wrenching farewell to realise, rather too late, how much the Wookie had meant to him._

_He hadn't found much company in the form of young friendships growing up and, as a burdened loner who had difficulty opening up to others because of his struggles, Chewie had been one of the few to push past Ben's emotional barriers. He had also been one of the stablest presences in the boy's young life when he needed it most._

_Where his father had failed to engage him in conversation or proper time spent together as a family, Chewie had intervened, and not at Han's behest. He encouraged Ben to help him fix faulty bits and bobs on the Falcon, kept Ben away from his parents when their rows got too heated, and pushed to converse with the sensitive boy on whatever topics interested him the most._

_The Wookie may not have been trained in the ways of the Force, but he possessed the heightened sensibility of perceiving Ben's growing isolation, as well as the obstacles that so deeply divided and separated his best mate from his outcasted, misunderstood son, and had tried to nurture Ben where Han Solo couldn't._

_Ben fought back the sudden instinct to retch. What would Chewie think now that Ben Solo had committed the ultimate vice? He had heard Chewie's blood-curdling cry on the bridge of the oscillator that fateful day he had impaled his father's body, sinking his saber into Han's chest, crushing his vertebrae, and slicing a hole through his back; but he hadn't seen much of Chewie with his own eyes._

_To this day, Ben was grateful for that small reprieve. Hearing the Wookie's hopeless wails in his head night after night as he relived the nightmare that was his most unforgivable deed was harrowing enough. And no less than he reckoned he deserved._

_A stinging pang from a recovering laceration on Ben's side, where Chewie had struck him with his bowcaster following Han's death, had Ben suddenly clutching it in pain. He shuddered and flinched, inhaling much-needed breaths in and out of his trapped lungs as the sensation slowly passed._

_Hearing the soft commotion outside, Ben mechanically rose from the comfort of his warm mattress but hesitated from there. There was nothing soothing about how_ this _unforeseen encounter was about to pan out and Ben was certain he wasn't prepared to face another heartache of his own creation._

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

"I'll have to check our clearance records."

"Oh, _c'mon_ , sweetheart," Blaze crooned to the unremarkable female droid stationed at the weaponry department's expansive front desk. He leaned forward so as to block a proper view of the durasteel exit doors at his back, mask removed to showcase his pearly white teeth. Beside him, Chewie groaned and rolled his eyes, fiddling against his restraints and disgruntled by what was in play. "It's just a couple blasters; maybe some stun guns? I'm sure the Proclamation can spare a handful for my Stormtroopers. We've had issues with the clips malfunctioning."

" _Like I said_ ," the droid stressed, clearly agitated with Blaze's pestering, her mechanical head spinning from side to side so as to keep her laser vision focused on the dominating, though handcuffed, Wookie, "you need special clearance for that, Officer Creed. Do you have your station card or an access code?"

Blaze—Creed, rather, as he was known in this menacing place—propped his chin in his hand and hummed through purposely pouty lips, "I seem to have lost them."

"Well, it's standard protocol to obtain access," the droid insisted none too kindly. "I can't provide you what you want without it."

"You can't fiddle things for me just this _once_ , Sparky?" Blaze tried to bargain with her, subtly kicking Chewie at his side for a reaction. "We have prisoners, such as _this_ carpeted monstrosity, to keep a handle on. My troopers need blasters and stun guns that actually _function_ against these types—"

With a sudden colossal howl that resounded around the room, Chewie threw up his hairy arms and began clomping his feet. His paws pounded the top of the desk repeatedly, leaving impressive dents in the steel. The droid named Sparky squeaked and her head spun 'round and 'round in fright. She rolled back from her computer screen, using her wheels for legs, and yelped, robotic arms slightly raised to shield herself.

"See what I mean?" Blaze screamed, leaping to try to seize Chewie's bound wrists that hovered just out of reach. "Can I get an access code? _Now, Sparky_!"

The droid didn't need Blaze to beg her anymore. She stretched her left arm to the opposite side of her desk and, at rapid speed, punched a series of cryptic numbers into their computer system. Seconds later the protected doors to the weaponry storage unit flew open, kicking up sparks and steam, an added bonus as the droid was too distracted by the flailing Wookie to see who had crouched by and slipped past her surveillance, undetected.

" _Quiet, sleemo_!" Blaze barked as he, at last, managed to grab Chewie's handcuffs with success. He lowered them rather effortlessly, too, and, though Chewie grumbled, he complied. "We'll be but a moment, Sparky," Blaze assured the shaken droid as he made to yank Chewie towards the now accessible weaponry. He had no influence in making Chewie budge an inch, however, and it was after several agonising moments that Chewie complied and walked of his own accord beyond the sealed doors, huffing in annoyance.

Once the doors slammed shut, leaving Blaze and Chewie mistakenly alone and to their own devices, Blaze descended on the Wookie in a fit of indignation, spitting under his breath, though no one was lingering about to overhear, "You could have gone along with that a _lot_ easier, you know!"

" _Narrrggghhgghh_!" Chewie screeched at his accuser.

Chewie halted in his tracks, turned on Blaze, and roughly shoved him in the chest. He threw back his shoulders as well, towering over Blaze with pointed teeth bared, and the Resistance spy shrunk under the Wookie's seven foot shadow.

"You can think whatever you'd like, Chewie, but I had my orders!" At the continuation of Chewie's enraged, stormy glare, he stammered, looking terribly sheepish all the while, "Not everyone carries the blind faith in Ben Solo that you, his wife, and his mother do, _all right_? We've had to make sure that he—"

Apparently, Chewie was disinterested in hearing anymore of Blaze's excuses. He jabbed him hard a second time, exercising minimal physical force, but it was enough to fling the black-chromed Stormtrooper into a stack of hung weaponry three feet behind him. Blaze toppled to the floor, sending blaster rifles tumbling off their shelves and onto the ground as well, where they scattered and dispersed, including his mask.

"Chewie!" came Rey's shocked exclaim as she dashed towards them from another direction, with Han and Astrid close at her heels. Each of the Solos was carrying a handful of stolen weapons, from blaster rifles to Rey's reclaimed lightsaber to a small pistol, which Astrid nervously held between her tiny fingers. "What's happened?"

"Perhaps _you_ can control that thing," Blaze puffed as he hobbled to stand, wincing and pointing at Chewie, "before he gets us all killed!"

"Serves you right!" Han spat and stepped closer to Chewie, offering adamant support to the Wookie.

"Your tampering into my husband's painstaking undercover efforts may do just _that_ ," Rey, too, countered the penitent Stormtrooper, with an effectively cutting coolness that put an end to the argument in progress.

Blaze fell quiet, a frustrating blush lighting his cheeks. He watched, in a harsh silence, as Rey tossed two pistols and three hand grenades to Chewie, who hooked them onto his belt and whined obligingly. The Wookie pulled young Han into a protective position against his hip as well, though the boy refused to take his beady eyes off of Blaze.

Ignoring the fraudulent Stormtrooper another moment, Rey bunched up her clothing to tuck a blaster into her back and knelt down before her daughter. She touched Astrid's small shoulder, her calming energy transferring to the youngster, whose innocent eyes looked very much in need of consoling.

"Astrid, sweetie, remember how I showed you to use this?"

The girl's endearing countenance was a radical difference to the deadly weapon she held in her hand, its pistol aimed (thankfully) towards the ceiling. "Yes, Mummy," she answered sweetly, making the contrast all the more impactful to everyone present.

"Good girl."

Rey added a squeeze to Astrid's shoulder and fervently kissed her forehead. She started to rise when another one of her daughter's wholesome inquiries kept her close.

"We going to save Ami and Daddy now, Mummy?"

"Yes, little star," Rey answered, half choking on those words, as her heartbeat skipped with dread. "We _will_ get them back, I promise."

"Let's get out of here," Han pressed impatiently, bringing everyone back to the risky matter at hand. He slapped his rifle blaster to his chest but then thought better of it, redirecting it at Blaze instead. "After _you_."

Blaze, though flustered and grumbling under his breath, obeyed. He stalked towards them but spooked at the unanticipated launch of his mask suddenly speeding towards him. He fumbled to catch it in his hands, understood that that had been Rey's doing, and skittishly placed it back into place, adamant not to complain. He knew of the Solos' exceptional gift for mind reading.

Chewie's restraints, too, which Blaze had administered for their current mission, were dismantled, wordlessly unlocked by way of Rey's Force powers. They fell to the floor, leaving the Wookie free to move about as he pleased. Blaze sucked in a nervous breath and wrapped a cautious hand around Chewie's free arm, waiting on the Wookie to throw him into a stack of weapons a second time. When the expectancy passed by unfulfilled, he motioned the family towards the exit doors.

"Just...go along with this, _please_ ," he implored them but mostly Chewie, who growled by way of a response.

Such Wookie language didn't sound encouraging but Blaze now knew better than to question him. Together, he and Chewie led the way back in the direction from whence they had come, each step hasty and purposeful. They had but turned a corner and spotted the durasteel doors at the end of the corridor when, all of a sudden, a robotic, frantic-sounding voice alerted them that they were no longer alone.

"Hey! _YOU_! Just where do you think you're—?"

That was as far as the weaponry service droid got in questioning its intruders, for it was blasted backward and smashed into a dozen pieces against a wall, its compartments spewing everywhere and causing a commotion that bounded around the storage unit well after it crashed. It took everyone another heart-pounding moment or two to realise it had been Astrid who had shot the droid. The five-year old anxiously turned to Chewie, Han, and, lastly, her mother, somewhat paralysed by her own instinctive, quick-thinking defences.

"Well done, Astrid!" Rey reassured the little one, reaching out to lightly tousle her hair.

" _This isn't over_!" Han shouted, startling them all.

Rey spun around just as Han's blaster rifle went off, administering a handful of bullets towards three more targets—droids—who had materialised in front of the doors. Blaze, too, extracted his blaster rifle and began shooting at will as four more suddenly appeared to apprehend them.

The doors opened at the shifting movement of collapsing droids in front of it, pushing the family and Blaze towards their desired way out. Chewie sprung ahead of them and smashed Sparky into fragments before the frightened droid could so much as holler for help. Her misshapen head and body ignited with sparks, buzzed, and then went still.

" _Hurry_!" Blaze instructed over his shoulder, springing into a run that the rest of the Solos and Chewie emulated. "More will be on their way! Make for the elevators!"

Chewie and Han followed closely behind, with Rey and Astrid bringing up the rear. Rey's hand was clasped tightly in her daughter's as she heaved the youngest forward to keep up with the rest of them. Astrid's small feet barely touched the floors as they made a frenzied break for it.

_Hang on_ , Rey transmitted to Ben, sensing his rising panic from somewhere many levels above them. She couldn't sense Ami's Force sensitivities much at all but called out to her as well, _We're on our way!_

*** * * * * ***

_"Tracked through lightspeed?_ How _?"_

_Chewie muttered an extensive explanation to Rey and Master Luke in Wookie that kept the Padawan's jaw lowered in suspense and the Jedi thoughtfully stroking his beard. At the end of his account, Chewie gave a weighty, serious shake of his head and gruffly exhaled._

_Though Master Luke continued to stare off over Chewie's shoulder, stricken by, as yet, unexpressed thoughts, a gradual smile spread across Rey's face in its stead. "Well, I'm happy to see you again, Chewie," she admitted and was soon smothered by another one of the Wookie's compact hugs, which levitated her off of the ground. Once he let go, Rey continued, "I was beginning to wonder if you'd all forgotten us."_

_Amused, Chewie patted the top of Rey's head a little too roughly. She winced but laughed and playfully swiped his enormous paw away._

_"'Us'?" Master Luke repeated, the grating in his voice dulling the warmth and fuzziness in the atmosphere._

_"Yes," Rey cautioned, turning her gaze sharply onto her now dubious-looking teacher, whose blue eyes slipped back and forth between her and Chewie, ambiguous and fluctuating. "Leia and the whole Resistance are expecting your return. They're counting on us."_

_"But I never agreed to leave this place."_

_Rey reared back, eyebrows raised in shock. "_ What _?" she gasped._

_Chewie let forth an aggressive snarl that jolted both Rey and Master Luke. He snapped forward as well, taking a speedy step closer to Master Luke, who threw up his hands in a heedful beseeching to keep the Wookie from, perhaps, throttling him into the dirt beneath his feet._

_"I don't think Leia or you have thought this through, Chewie!" he tried to reason with them._

_"ARRRGGGGGHHH!" Chewie bellowed, his cries reverberating off of the rocks like thunder._

_"Yes, yes, I_ know _!" Master Luke contested, yelling with equal outrage. "But how do you figure this, Chewie: that Rey and I will, somehow, go waltzing onto Snoke's ship and take down the whole First Order—?"_

_"_ Ben _, too!" Rey hotly corrected him, which brought the dispute to a pelting halt no one had anticipated, least of all Chewie. Rey explained in brief, though somewhat nervously this time, "He's with us."_

_The stunted Wookie staggered backward at the long-ago name, his weight swaying alarmingly from side to side, as though he had seen a ghost and was on the verge of fainting. He whined and recoiled further as Rey looked him over, first, apologetically, and then with an air of certainty and defensiveness as the Wookie had never seen in her before._

_Rey answered Chewie's soft mewls, speaking as frankly but gently as possible, "He came to us some two months ago. I think he still believes his intent was to capture Master Luke but... He really came to save himself, Chewie. He's far from where he needs to be but... He's returned. Ben Solo's here."_

_Chewie shuffled his feet back and forth, glancing, with discomfort, from Rey to Master Luke to the stones at his feet. He repeated this pattern several times more until, eventually, he settled for stooping his head and brooding in Wookie, each cry intended for the slain smuggler he loved and the unrecognisable beast, whom he had once adored and helped raise, who had committed the unpardonable act before his eyes._

_Rey reached out a hand to stroke Chewie's arm. Her consolation was met by more pained, drawn out whimpers and quiet tears._

_"I know," she stressed softly, hoping her words would strike a chord in the wounded Wookie, "and I'm sorry, Chewie, but..._ please _... Give Ben a chance. His turn back to the Light is an enormous feat to be encouraged. He's our best hope."_

_Those remarks tolled long and earnestly after, springing like an elastic band to and fro between Rey and Chewie, who lifted his watery eyes to stare deeper into hers. He looked conflicted, and yet, didn't seek to contest her intuition._

_Then Ben suddenly emerged from inside the stone hut, alarming all and looking every bit the corrupted, cruel mess that he was: dark locks windblown and knotted as they had grown past his neckline; protruding, seemingly permanent circles etched beneath his eyes that whispered of his many hauntings; disturbed, near moonless irises that guarded their sins carefully, for his splintered soul to wrestle alone; and the violent slash that traveled the length of his right cheek to his forehead, a constant reminder to those whom he now kept regular company amongst_ who _he had been all of his adult life._

_Until now._

_Ben and Chewie's flighty gazes fuzed at once, their expressions heightening in agitation, fight and flight modes registered. Both were unmistakably ill at ease, Ben more so, and he was the first to stave from staring for too long. His uneasy eyes flounced to a resilient Rey, his freshly unhinged uncle, and, lastly, the horizon, in search of a little less suffering; a little less confrontational grief._

_Imparting another brief glance towards Chewie, Ben instantly thought better of acknowledging his once close confidant and, in haste, turned his back. Chewie's boom of a roar—a murderous, guttural growl that challenged the ocean's clashes into the rocks around the island—stopped Ben from venturing too far. His stance locked and wouldn't—couldn't, rather—turn around to face the source of such merciless anguish, so Ben kept his back firmly turned, his perceptive hearing alerting to the Wookie's slow, cautiously approaching footsteps moments later that suggested a stalker about to sniff out its victim before sinking its teeth in fully._

_But Ben knew he wasn't the victim in this story, however it might end, and saw his shadow appropriately swallowed by a larger, much furrier one within seconds. Then the world was spinning on an axis and he was forcefully whirled around to greet his indignant accuser from his childhood. His first instinct was to reach for his saber, but that saber was no longer dependable. To compound matters, as soon as Ben reeled around, he realised that he couldn't have summoned a weapon into his blood-stained hands had he actually wanted to protect himself._

No.

_He deserved whatever was coming his way. He_ wanted _to feel that vast surge of rage rush over him, through him, and suffocate him out of existence, as he foresaw his target's intention to do. The pain would be recognisable, appropriate, and, at the very least, a comfort in his final moments._

_Then Ben felt the first blow, breathless and immense in its strike. Chewie knocked him four or five feet backward, though Ben managed to maintain his footing, which seemed to merely provoke Chewie's distemper. The incensed Wookie pursued his target, rushing forward and stomping his feet, with tempestuous eyes narrowed in blood-boiling madness. His fist swooped from the side and pounded Ben's left cheek, its precision right and true. Ben's jaw snapped at the impact._

_Somewhere in the distance, Master Luke and Rey screamed, but Chewie, his breaths ragged and fierce, tread onward, whilst Ben stumbled backward but, nevertheless, tried to stand his ground. Chewie snatched Ben by the chin and snapped his head towards him. Ben met Chewie's glare with burning obstinacy, his bruised cheek lightened by the bright sun overhead._

_Disgusted, Chewie snarled and swung his fist again, this time at a much closer angle, and the collision fractured Ben's nose with a swift, sickening_ crack _. Ben staggered and hitched a sharp intake of air, the foul taste of blood—his own—entering his mouth. He deposited a spit full of it at the ground and, slowly but defiantly, brought his blazing stare back towards his attacker, showing Chewie the accomplishment of his savage punch._

_Blood dribbled from Ben's left nostril and into his mouth. He spit once more, all the while keeping his alighted stance steady on the Wookie. He wouldn't provide the satisfaction of admitting to the pain, even at the hands—or paws—of someone who rightfully deserved to witness such pleasures. Not now. Not at the end._

_In that gripping, defining moment, Chewie hesitated, marked confusion forming along his hairy brow as to Ben's refusal to fight back; or, at least, not throw up his hands and try to defend himself. It was a fleeting reconsideration of gauging his 'enemy' and his motives, though, for then Chewie made a rash decision: he leapt for Ben's neck. And the one-time Sith in training's Force sensibilities snubbed the warning they foresaw coming, allowing Chewie's gigantic paws to close around such precious muscle with substantial ease._

_Ben felt his feet leave gravity as Chewie dangled him off the ground, the oxygen appropriately sucked from his lungs as if through a straw. Ben's instinct was to gasp and writhe for freedom, but his pride wouldn't allow for that either. Showing fear in the face of death was, perhaps, the ultimate weakness, and there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. Death, Ben prayed, might mean peace for himself and his disquieted soul at long last._

_Despite his aptitude for remaining calm under even fatal pressures, Ben's fingers began to tingle and convulse. Against his will, they latched onto Chewie's wrists, which could have been easily broken had there been the intent to save himself, but, instead, Ben's hands clung to them for something to purchase. He clawed uselessly at Chewie's fur, his ribs tight and caving in and desiring nothing but air. That wish was brutally denied._

_For what felt like ages, Ben and Chewie stared into one another's eyes, saddened foe to foe, skimming one another's agony that required no words to convey its overwhelming potency. What sounded like Rey and Master Luke shouting and drawing near, each begging Chewie to "stop", hovered at the edges of Ben's peripheral sphere, which was now starting to dim and fog. Their demands felt like a dull, tireless ringing in his ears, so Ben ignored them in place of a certain pull towards tranquility; towards nothingness. Peace was in his grasp and its sweetness could no longer be bribed._

_Before Ben felt himself about to lose all consciousness, there came an abrupt release, and Ben was suddenly falling. His legs hit the ground hard, but the uncomfortable pangs that flooded through them were a trifle compared to the rush of oxygen traveling through his wind pipes and feeding his lungs with their vital necessity they hadn't had for...a minute? Perhaps two?_

_The struggle towards peace vanished in the wake of what Ben was left with: a hefty numbness that, whilst it no longer robbed him of air, lingered above him like a dark cloud. He rolled onto his back and wheezed, chest heaving strenuously and each shaky inhale like an unwanted clench to his heart. He wasn't dead, and that wasn't the worst of it: a great weight had thudded inches from him, and it took Ben's vision several seconds to clear and make out the outline of a crumbled Chewie at his side. The Wookie's pained face was bowed towards the ground, his paws beating futilely at the dirt. With each pounding, Chewie sobbed and rocked back and forth, uncertain of where to redirect his heartbreak._

_The word was on the tip of Ben's tongue and, as if Chewie could sense it, he whirled his head towards Ben and they stared, suspended by each other's silence. Ben swallowed what he had been on the verge of saying, and a teary-eyed, maddened Chewie reacted. He threw himself over top of Ben, grabbed him by the shoulders, and began walloping him over and over into the ground. All the while, Ben never fought the Wookie's powerful pelting, and yet, with each harsh thrash, the severity lessened, until Chewie was no longer thumping Ben but whimpering and pawing and shoving at him._

_Finally, the Wookie desisted, having exhausted himself beyond what his physicality—and heart—could bear. His miserable eyes stared hard into Ben's, his despair mirrored back at him in the form of an older, unrecognisable, and far more broken Ben Solo. Chewie lowered his head to Ben's chest, gripped him with all of his might, and let forth a final, smothered wail before his cries turned soft and helpless._

_One of Ben's trembling hands glided to the back of Chewie's head, fingers curling slightly into the Wookie's mound of thick fur. Neither moved or attempted to speak, for no words in that moment—not even the most heartfelt, sincerest, 'I'm sorry'—would have sufficed._

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

After conversing in quick, hushed whispers with his right-hand lieutenant, who scurried out of the room as rapidly as he had entered, General Hux stepped forward to address the Supreme Leader, sweating but oozing with redeemed confidence, no less, which set Ben's teeth on edge. He watched the smug ginger prat eagerly rub his gloved hands together, as if in anticipation of something that Ben, himself, couldn't see through his Force gifts, though General Hux, at least, showed restraint by waiting for Snoke to seat himself at his head throne first.

Once Snoke acknowledged the hopeful general with a small raise of his head, General Hux spoke to the echoing eeriness of the reformed Imperial throne room, which had been expanded upon since its original design was destroyed during the fall of the First Order. Ignoring Ben's presence, as well Amidala's at his back, General Hux stated, with urgency, "Supreme Leader, I've just been informed that a band of Resistance fighters have passed through this solar system not thirty seconds ago. Shall we engage?"

"Don't be too hasty, General Hux," Snoke spoke softly, unhurried, giving a passive wave of his bony wrist. "We have, at least, _three_ Force sensitive captives in our hands. Let us wait and see what General Organa's intentions are. If she's, indeed, circling to attempt a rescue, she's a greater fool than I presumed. Those fighters can't slip past our shields without immediate detection."

"Yes, sir," General Hux concurred, though a look of befuddlement washed over his pointy features at the mention of 'three' Force sensitives. His accusatory eyes glanced beyond his shoulder to a bowing Amidala, knelt into a tight ball upon the ground, with her long, sweeping locks conveniently hiding her face from view.

Snoke rested his back to his black ceremonial throne, high and expanding from all sides like a prickly shrub—a poisonous, soul-sucking one, to Ben anyway—and gestured towards the closed doors at the opposite side of the room. "Go," he curtly commanded. "See to our preparations."

General Hux nodded appropriately to the vague order given to him and, without needing to be instructed twice, marched off, catching Ben's slippery gaze, though hidden beneath his mask, as he swept past. That sickly, superior smile from the unbalanced general caused Ben's darker, swirling energy to twist out of joint. It jerked and retreated, vibrating with sudden aggression, though Ben issued all restraint in lashing out by balling his gloved hands tighter into fists.

Snoke, perceiving his commander's forced discipline, awaited General Hux's disappearance before bringing it to attention. "You're still ruffled, Commander. I've sensed your distress since my arrival."

The air of suspicion surrounding that observance didn't go unmarked. Ben's stomach churned within as he made a slight raise of his head, the remainder of him entirely motionless and bent towards the floor. He tried not to so much as breathe in Amidala's direction.

"It's nothing, Supreme Leader," he spoke through the guise of his voice contraption.

"No?" Snoke murmured, that tight whisper carrying through the space between master and apprentice like a bone-chilling awakening. " _No_..."

Ben, crippled by fear, shut himself off, feeling the outer most layer of his mind being breached as soon as the doors shut. Like a pair of ghostly, intruding fingertips tapping at the front gates and demanding entrance, Ben knew the want for permission wasn't necessary on the Supreme Leader's part but, nonetheless, not meant to be toyed with. Snoke was notorious for shoving his way into people's minds whenever he so desired, and Ben understood better than to deny him access.

Ben proposed a series of feigned, unquestionably dark thoughts he hoped would be convincing. After a minute or two of scanning the outer rims of his mind, Ben chanced a glance at Snoke, hoping to find satisfaction lining the Supreme Leader's grey face. Snoke's eyes were shut, searching, examining, questioning...

And then he breathed without much emotion, "She troubles you... This girl..."

Those same eyes, soulless and ruthless, opened and gravitated towards Amidala, who quivered as she willingly elevated her head. She didn't dare look at her father but her eyes caught on one of his leather boots, regardless, close enough to reach for if she but stretched her hand.

"She reminds you...of _you_."

At once, Ben tersely dropped his head. If it were possible for his ears to burst from the immense drumming of his own heartbeat, they were surely going to explode from this. He didn't dare answer but his shoulders tensed in reaction.

Snoke reclined against his chair and quietly disengaged from Ben's mind, his scrutiny neither pleased, nor miffed with whatever his apprentice had supplied. His intense focus alternatively shifted to Amidala.

"Come here, youngling. It's high time you and I were properly introduced."

Amidala startled and, though she bravely made eye contact with the creepy psychopath from her daydreams, she refused to dislodge her knees from their contact with the cold, solid floors. Much to Ben's horror, his eldest found herself being yanked forward completely of Snoke's Force pull rather than by her own free will.

"I said, _closer_ ," Snoke dictated, with a sallow, frightening grin that saw Amidala releasing the smallest hitched breath as she was summoned towards him. Ben heard his daughter's vocalised terror, and the sound caused a painful tightening to his jaw. "Yes..." One of Snoke's feathery hands reached out to cradle Amidala's jawline, making every goose-pimple on the girl's flesh rise. "You're as stubborn as I suspected you might be. So tenacious... Yet, so artless... You don't understand your own strength, my dear. _Yes_... You need me. You've _wanted_ this for a long time."

"N - No," Amidala rebuffed, her declaration unstable but horrified by Snoke's suggestion.

"Ah, denial," Snoke scoffed so lightly and with such unaffectedness that it shot a chill through father's and daughter's spines alike. "My apprentice had that, too—he claimed not to want the gifts I had to offer him—and now... _Look at him_."

Amidala, though quivering too badly to conceal her fears, half glanced over her shoulder but couldn't see Ben's kneeling silhouette. She clenched her teeth and struggled against Snoke's mighty grip.

"He's stronger thanks to _me_ ," Snoke boasted, with shivering, derisive glee that both unnerved and surprised his company, Ben most of all. "He lost his way at one time—oh, yes, I haven't forgotten—but we've straightened him out. He's seen the errors of his ways, he's fought to earn back my trust, and, now, _you_ shall be set right, too, my dear."

"I told you," Amidala spat, rolling her shoulders back against her invisible bindings, whilst her feet hovered inches from the ground, "I want no - nothing from you! _Nothing_!"

Snoke's scowl lifted the hairs on the back of Ben's neck. "That's most...unfortunate," he warned, his words quiet but highly sinister, "not to mention, _unwise_. Though, I suppose," he added, aged fingers coiling around Amidala's neck, "the alternative is that I crush you now. And then I kill your mother, your brother, your sister..."

" _NO_!"

"Your father." There was a pregnant pause at that, as well as a flash of horror that flew by Amidala's eyes, spurring Snoke's moment of triumph. "Ah, yes, you see, I've been doing some thinking—"

"You mean, attacking my little sister's mind more like!" Amidala ground out, heat and the zeal to attack rushing to her head.

"She's special, that one," Snoke carried on, as if there had been no interruption to his thoughts. "She's shrewd like you and your mother, only...not able to fend me off, you see..."

Amidala froze at the spread of the Supreme Leader's knowing, repellent smile. Her mouth loitered between opening and closing, her tongue no longer able to produce coherent sounds. She saw Snoke's pitiless eyes slither from her to Ben and her throat constricted. Perhaps that was Snoke's doing or her own combative mind and its unwillingness to admit defeat. Either way, she had never felt more terrified.

"Commander Ren," Snoke then addressed her father, with a disturbing simplicity that intensified the atmosphere, "take off that mask. Let us see each other plainly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : As always, thanks to those who review. Your comments, aka interest, make all the difference.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : We're getting pretty close to being caught up to where the story is presently on FFN. One more chapter to post and then, I'm afraid, the few folks reading here will have to wait for future updates as they arise...**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 22**

_"Don't show me paradise and then burn it down._ "  
—Harian Coben

**Two Years Earlier**

Rey switched off the light and tiptoed to the blessedness that was hers and Ben's king-sized bed, designed to accommodate Ben's immense stature. She crept beneath the covers and shimmied closer to her presently dozing husband, determined not to wake him in the midst of one of his much-needed, much denser slumbers. She was too wired for sleep herself but would be content to snuggle into him until fatigue hit. Between Ben's persistent, hefty breathing, as well as the tranquility that swaddled their energies like a shared, heated blanket, Rey was certain that she would eventually nod off, as she tended to do far more easily when she and Ben were together.

Ben didn't so much as moan as Rey carefully spooned him from the side. He remained passed out and splayed on his back, his snores becoming intolerably louder as the minutes elapsed; but Rey snorted into her pillow, willing patience and understanding over this kind of bout of exhaustion.

Ben had gone to bed an hour ago, prior to their eldest's curfew for once (which Amidala found amusing, Rey much less so, for she had recognised the familiar strains in his face earlier that evening). Its semblance was a heart-aching reminder of the demands a six-day stretch spent away from his family, pretending to be someone foul, whom he no longer resembled, as well as being at a twisted madman's beck and call, could influence his lower activity levels and irregular sleep patterns, such as tonight's.

The stresses that Ben's spy role put on him often saw the reformed Jedi slipping into bed well before Rey and the children on the first night he was home. That didn't always guarantee that he slept before (or better than) any of them, but Rey rarely complained of shorter reunions, for she was relieved simply to have him at home, by her side, with the natural warmth of his colossal figure present and pressed up against hers...

 _Alive_ , her overworked mind accentuated.

Rey was overrun by a troublesome shiver that she couldn't shake. She delicately heaved the covers up to her chest, hoping her small movements wouldn't wake Ben, settled her head on top of her pillow, and tried staring at the wall. The rhythmic practice of emptying her mind commenced, transferring into a lucid, trance-like state of being. Bright, glazed over eyes scanned the mundane plaster on the wall, her ears listening to the ebb and flow of Ben's assured, consistently onerous breathing. Her keen senses, too, counted each systematic beat of his heart, the process soothing her nerves and providing a small comfort in these late-night hours whenever sleep eluded her.

Rey wasn't sure for how long the serenity connecting wakefulness and dreams lasted, but before she was cognisant of its remedy, the pull towards sleep began to dominate. Darkness, one that was peaceful and nonthreatening, drew close, about to overthrow the remnants of Rey's consciousness but for the bleaker share of Ben's energy, which suddenly hurled towards her from the depths of nothingness to dash dreaming from her grasp.

Rey shot up in bed, as if she had been smacked across the face, and turned to the source of the disruption: Ben. He was still asleep, but Rey quickly realised that something was dreadfully wrong. Dabs of sweat had broken out on Ben's forehead and his head, arms, and legs were twitching and thrashing against something veiled that seemed to have him tied to the mattress and unable to break free. Then, without warning, he arched his back, the delicate muscles and protruding veins in his neck suggesting that he was trying to scream, though no relevant sounds arose.

By now, Rey was fully conscious, surveying, with horror, an unseen force which had Ben captive and powerless to communicate. His arms were raised above his head and his hands were clenched into white-knuckled fists. His heels dug into the sheets, kicking and driving the covers down around his ankles and exposing Rey to the slight chill in the night air.

"Ben!" Rey gasped, distressed, and grabbed a hold of the brawny arm that was closest to her.

A rush of foreign energy, dangerous and elusive, shot through her that didn't belong to the man she loved, like an eerie apparition jumping through flesh to announce its otherworldly presence...and uninvited possession. Rey perceived the raw turbulence of its user's power before it identified itself and charged, all willpower focused on driving it from hers and Ben's presence.

Without a second thought, Rey sprung on top of an unconscious Ben and latched onto both of his convulsing arms. He didn't respond to her grabbing at him or to the fact that she was straddling his waist. Rey seized his wrists and balled hands, squeezing them as fixedly as she was physically able to, but, still, he wouldn't wake.

"NO!" her voice erupted in a fierce, fretful cry, its echo bouncing off of their bedroom walls and bounding back to her, un-placated.

' _NO_!' she yelled again, this time through her ferociously protective Force energy.

Her Light didn't hesitate to go on the attack, thwacking at the Darkness it saw in the form of a shapeless shadow coveting Ben's body and concealing all trace of him, energy and otherwise, from her. The Darkness, now named, startled and bore its jagged teeth, having not sensed Rey's Force presence until now.

'YOU CANNOT HAVE HIM!'

Affronted but unswayed, the Darkness swelled in size and resilience, tormenting Rey as it blanketed what it knew she desired most desperately: Ben's release. She wasn't about to back down, however, and her Light stormed a second time, swatting and expanding and forcing the Darkness to shriek and shrivel at such extraordinary brilliance, though it refused to exit, stubborn in its will.

'HE'S NOT YOURS!' Rey roared and the Darkness snarled back at her, greedy and incensed. 'LET GO OF HIM! LET GO!'

Rey wasn't aware of shaking Ben with such force as to potentially harm him, her fingers fighting tirelessly as they moved from his hands to his chest to his shoulders in repeated vain attempts to lure him back to the Light; to her. Her fingernails stabbed at his naked skin, determined to keep the Darkness from stealing what she knew to be rightfully hers.

'LET HIM GO, I SAID!' she bombarded the source of the Darkness, spreading her Light's reach farther.

The feat was gruelling but Rey fought against her limitations, her combative efforts impairing Snoke's foreboding shadow that had been clinging to Ben, despite withering in shape and might as Rey's continued to grow. He gave one last momentous rush, but Rey's cutthroat strike propelled him backward.

'HE'S NOT YOURS! LET HIM GO _NOW_!'

What was seconds felt like agonising, drawn out minutes, but, at last, Snoke relented. A dizzying whirlpool wheeled Rey around as her opponent retreated, his Darkness slipping through Rey's fingers like vapour, and then Ben was choking for air and launching himself into an upright position. Rey scrambled to catch him around the neck, fastening her arms tightly around him and anchoring their bodies together.

"Rey," he rasped, his hands un-fisting and clawing at her nightgown and untidy, loose hair, as if needing to ensure that she was, in fact, real. Soon recognising the curves and textures that belonged to his devoted other half, Ben yanked her breathlessly against him, clasping onto her for dear life.

"Ben... Ben..." Rey whispered in a frenzy as she proceeded to smooth his hair, fervidly kiss his face, and return his all-consuming embrace. "It's all right. I... I'm here. I've got you. You feel me?"

Ben nodded into her shoulder, his breathing erratic on her neck and matching her deliriously beating heart. Slowly, their shared panting abated, as did the intensity of their caress, though neither gambled letting go.

"And I, you," Rey sighed into his ear, most grateful once she could sense that the suspense had faded. Snoke was gone, and Ben was returned.

He was the first to rear back from their entwinement, and his expression wasn't what Rey expected: she had anticipated relief at finding himself all right and out of Snoke's claws, but, instead, his too pasty complexion was accompanied by alarm and trepidation, and apparently targeted at her rather than the manipulative bastard who had connected to him in his sleep to articulate some grievance or other. She didn't care what he wanted; he wasn't welcomed here.

"Rey..." Ben said her name again, though in a terror-stricken whisper. "What have you done?"

Rey jerked in his arms, her hands slipping from around his neck. "What?"

" _Do you realise what you've done_?" he snapped harshly.

With a fearsome-like shove, Rey was thrust off of Ben's lap and suddenly sitting on the end of the bed, immobilised. By the time she had managed to blink and somewhat gather herself, Ben was on his bare feet and patting over to their bedroom window, one trembling hand pressed to his mouth as he stared, on edge, at the static night sky.

The potential consequences to Rey's actions, though she had acted out of the most ardent of love, began to erode her like two cruisers brushing rims at lightspeed. Her shoulders tensed and her lower lip quivered, worried lines surfacing upon her brow.

"But he..." She stopped herself and gulped, finding it excruciating to speak for some invisible obstruction in her throat. "I - I wasn't expecting him to... I couldn't just lay there and watch you—"

Ben spun around, his stance crouched and confrontational, and the wild look he bore worsened Rey's anxieties tenfold. Her mouth closed on instinct and pending dread.

"How do you suppose I'll explain this?" Ben berated her, breathing hard through flared nostrils. "To  _him_?"

Rey's lips wavered, struggling with how to respond. "Ben, I..." Sensing tears manifesting in her eyes, Rey forced her lips together in order to stall the impulse to cry.

Ben's display of grave disturbance didn't lessen, despite Rey being visibly distraught or he forcing a collected breath and roving his fingers through his rumpled locks, which tended to ease his tension. "You had no right to interfere, Rey," he grounded out through his clenched teeth. "What you did...you  _shouldn't_  have done."

"I... I was afraid, all right?" she pleaded, begging for understanding, her entire body quaking on account of her grave error. Her voice quieted as she painfully expressed, with her eyes directed at their crumbled covers, "I'm sorry, Ben."

His eyes glistened in the dark, no less unhinged by her actions. "I'm _this_ close to getting him to talk, Rey, do you understand? To uncovering his plans! So goddamn close..."

Rey's wet, apologetic eyes flew back to him. "I - I said I'm sorry,  _all right_?" She waited for his riled nature and the blow of his devastating disappointment to subside, but when Ben turned away from her, his mouth lined in disgust, Rey added, her imploring whisper barely detectable, even in their quiet room, "Please... I didn't—" Though exasperated, and hating herself for being reduced to tears, she tried to stress out loud, "I wasn't expecting him to connect to you with me right here! You were unconscious and struggling, Ben, and I was  _scared_!"

Rey could no longer hold back her tears. Her flustered face dropped into her hands and she stifled a few tramautised sobs behind their convenient cover.

The upsetting sight of his wife falling to pieces in front him finally brought Ben to his senses. He crossed the length of their bedroom in two strides, knelt onto the side of the bed, and gathered a weeping Rey into his arms. His long, warm fingers found the back of her head and gently brushed pieces of her hair, wishing to put an end to her hysterics.

"It's all right, Rey," he hushed her softly, taking a moment to also sweep his appreciative lips along the side of her face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad. What you did was sensible—"

"No, it wasn't," she grumbled, snivelling and shaking her head into his sturdy chest. "It's my fault! I wasn't thinking—"

"You were being protective," he insisted, conveying his understanding by lovingly nudging what little of Rey's face he could see, using his large nose. "I'd have done the same."

"Not at the expense of compromising a valued position to the Resistance, you wouldn't have!" she argued plainly, refusing to look at him.

Ben smirked into her silky, brown hair, sensing that ridiculously effective pout of hers, though he wasn't glimpsing it for himself. "Don't worry. I'll come up with something."

Rey's hands clung tighter to him, unconvinced. "Ben..."

"I can tell him..." He paused, thinking hard, thoughtfully weighing his options. "I can tell him I've been trying to earn your trust and get you to tell me where you are; that tonight you finally showed the first signs of trusting me."

Rey, still unpersuaded and considerably grumpy, brought her face out of hiding. Ben had to hold back a laugh at the endearing vision of his wife—in all of her splotched, snotty glory—and, rather, saw to the wet stains lining her cheeks by swiping them away with his thumbs.

"He's still going to question whether he trusts  _you_ now," she grimly pointed out, looking appropriately mopey and rueful.

"He will, but that doesn't mean I don't have more lies to feed."

Rey's attempt to meet Ben's upbeat outlook with a smile failed miserably, the ache of remorse enduring upon her face. "I'm sorry, Ben," she emphasised some more, her bottom lip threatening to give way. "You've been working so hard for so long towards this end and I couldn't—"

"You had my back, Rey." Adamant to alleviate the crushing guilt he saw her continuing to grapple with, Ben reached one hand around to support Rey's head and, with the other, cradled her cheek in his palm, maintaining a levelled gaze between them. His passionate eyes stared into hers, resolute and forgiving, and then he stated, hoping she would sense every ounce of his utmost gratitude, "Thank you for that."

Before a teary-eyed Rey could reply, Ben tilted her chin upward and captured her mouth in an unshakable, reinforcing kiss. 'You feel me?' his energy affectionately bumped hers, aiming for the materialisation of a much-desired smile.

Rey's answer was swift and equally tender as she replied with a wholesome but unsmiling, 'Yes.'

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

A lone Stormtrooper armed with a loaded blaster rifle made for a peculiar, likely questionable sight in this highly secured section of Proclamation's Star base. Mid-level occupants normally consisted of mechanics and engineers, not troopers designed to do battle anywhere from the most remote planets with the testiest weather conditions to arbitrary Deep Space.

Perhaps _that_  explained this Stormtrooper's fast-paced walk, hurried and seemingly of importance, as he or she scrambled across low lit corridors, aiming to avoid running into personnel that passed through connecting hallways or strolled past bolted doors, seeing to their assigned tasks. This Stormtrooper didn't so much as chance breathing audibly through his or her voice contraption as they rushed along, their back pressed to the walls to (hopefully) go unnoticed.

Upon reaching the end of a straight and narrow corridor, he or she allowed for a prompt glance from left to right. Collecting that the coast was clear, they slid across a connecting hallway and continued on their way, the smallest sigh of consolation escaping their voice contraption.

Seconds later, the same nameless Stormtrooper found their self closing in on two connecting durasteel door frames with cutout windows, and instead of attempting to access them, they switched directions, heading left and seeking cover behind an ordinary trash bin next to an adjoining elevator shaft to wait out what followed thereafter. They watched the door, scanning for the number of personnel stationed beyond its barriers and any developing shift patterns that might prove useful in gaining entrance.

It wasn't long before two mechanics, whom the Stormtrooper had spotted strolling by the windows moments earlier, exited these safeguarded doors, the taller of the two, a male, halting to press a series of buttons into a code detector that sealed the doors from the outside. He then dashed off to meet up with his attractive female coworker, exchanging something about feeling "starved"; but that was all of their hush-hush conversation the Stomtrooper overheard as they soon vanished around a corner.

The Stormtrooper allowed his or herself another few moments to survey the area, silent and vacant, before chancing to emerge from behind their rather conspicuous hiding spot. Their mask honed in on the small code detector on the wall and addressed this latest obstacle of inconvenience, hastily removing a glove to reveal a silver, robotic left hand. The arm of that hand rose into the air, mechanical fingers spreading slightly apart, and the body it belonged to stalled its breath, centring and relying on what appeared to be stored energy rather than physical force to pry the doors open.

In a matter of moments, the code detector was dismantled, the glass encasement cracking without being touched and the warded doors unlocking as if by their own accord; or, rather, a mysterious force. The doors parted with a winded groan, granting the Stormtrooper the access he or she sought.

The invader stepped inside and, finding this particular station deserted, removed their mask. A shaggy beard and sharp-witted, blue eyes revealed the Stormtrooper's identity: Luke Skywalker.

Despite having to navigate an entirely new environment, Master Luke roamed his whereabouts rather effortlessly, flowing from one power station chamber to the next, as each tied together, without break in his single-minded direction. All the while, he touched buttons and shifted gears back and forth to shut down the Star base's main power supply.

Upon tapping a round green button, the power station was suddenly flooded in darkness, but then sonorous sirens erupted and red lights flashed to alert personnel as to the power outage. And the Proclamation's problem was about to become a much bigger pain in the rear than they had bargained on.

Master Luke, unruffled by the ear-splitting noise and crimson, blinking lights, moved on in haste. He hadn't pursued this secure section in order to cause a temporary problem and, weaving around computers and power buttons with purpose, he rounded a corner and exited an open doorway, stepping fluidly into another.

The next door he happened upon was warded, like the first, and denied to him; a minimal hiccup, from Master Luke's perspective. He unbolted it by using more of that same composed, sweat-inducing energy, his mechanical hand raised in the direction of the door. It clicked and cleared for him to pass through, the hightail speed with which it flew open fluttering wiry bits of the Jedi's grey hair.

Master Luke's eyes settled upon a humming backup generator at the centre of this enclosed space, smaller and more compact than the others. "There you are," he murmured in triumph, a mischievous smile tugging at the borders of his mouth.

Showcasing no hint of reluctance, Master Luke began wrecking havoc on the backup generator, using his trusty lightsaber to wield the greatest damage. Summoning it from a holder attached to his stolen gear, he savagely swung his saber to and fro, beating at the generator multiple times until hunks began to melt, spark, and started a fire that spread speedily across various keyboards and up the walls.

Wearing a smug smile, Master Luke hustled his Stormtrooper mask back into place and retreated towards the entrance, where he was met by an inundation of seven frantic-looking, wide-eyed mechanics. Their springy legs came to a screeching halt upon encountering the Stormtrooper.

"Uhhh, you got a problem back there," Master Luke explained, pointing insistently to the backup generator room that was rapidly filling with flames.

Panic swarmed each of the mechanics' faces. Six of the seven hastened past Master Luke, shoving him out of their way as they made to put out the uncontrollable fire. The last of them lingered behind, however, eying the Stormtrooper with loaded suspicion. Master Luke shrugged it off.

"I was told to see to the disturbance down here. Well, the _sirens_  are informing everyone of that, aren't they?" He pointed a casual finger at the ceiling and plugged where his ear should be with the other. "I was demoted to Sanitation in Section 3, so I was nearby to take a look."

The nameless mechanic, a young man of about twenty-four or twenty-five, sneered at Master Luke, utterly appalled. He scuttled around him as well, awkwardly shifting about so as to not to brush shoulders with the Stormtrooper from Sanitation.

" _Nice_ ," Master Luke offhandedly t'sked once the mechanic was out of earshot. He knew better than to linger about and broke into a sprint, racing for the closest stairs.

With any luck—and Ben and their family could really use some of  _that_  on their side—the power outage would make an advantageous distraction in helping them to escape this nightmare; or so Master Luke hoped that the will of the Force might, too, have such plans in store. It might also buy his sister the time she needed to deal with her impatient militia.

 _It's done_ , his Force powers spoke into the ether as he began climbing the stairs.

 _Ben? Rey? The kids? Where are they?_  a desperate-sounding voice hounded in return, her questions carrying a discernment of fear she didn't tend to show others.

A lump tightened in Master Luke's throat, its grip nerve-wracking as he pleaded from afar,  _We need more time, Leia. Please... Hold the attack off for as long as you can._

*** * * * * ***

_Ben shrunk from Rey so fast and furiously that his head clonked against the back of his rickety seat, prompting a hiss and a nursing to the back of his head. His teeth, already clenched and braced for pain, as well as his eyes, which had been squeezed shut since shortly after takeoff, double winced at the pangs he had not only just endured seconds before but because of what he had, unfortunately, been subjected to since he, Rey, Master Luke, and Chewie had left Ahch-To a half hour ago: Rey's undesired meddling._

_Somewhere close to his face Ben heard her huff, clearly irritated, and he tried to pay her grousing little mind, though such dismissal was short-lived (and insensible on his part, really). Her aggravating voice, as Ben had sorely discovered weeks ago, once spoken couldn't be so easily pushed out of his mind._

_"Hold still!" she ordered and, before Ben could protest, she grabbed him by the chin and forced his face towards her._

_Ben opened an eyelid, mouth grimacing and his bruised features scrunched into a display of sheer disgruntlement. "Not so easy to manage when you have a broken nose and_ you _'re the one trying to fix it," he reminded her through a defensive growl._

 _Rey narrowed her eyes warningly, proposing that her damaged company ought to shut his trap and fast. "I'm trying to_ help _you!" she claimed._

 _"Oh, I'm sorry," Ben scoffed, leaning away from her in the process, "is_ that _what you're doing? Not making matters significantly_ worse _for me than they already are?"_

_Rey gave an emphatic roll of her eyes. "You're acting like a bloody child, you know that?"_

_Ben met her cutting remark with a strong-willed sneer. "And_ you _haven't the slightest clue as to what you're doing."_

 _"I_ do _!" she barked, pretty eyes ablaze. "And I'd be doing a much better job of healing you if you'd stop fidgeting so much!"_

 _Ben's frown slid farther down his long face. "But it_ hurts _," he carped aloud, ears and cheeks brightening like flares following that unintentional admission of weakness._

 _Rey, stunned but charmed, grinned by way of reaction, which only magnified Ben's painfully uneasy blush. He decided to avoid anymore eye contact and stared at the dirty floors. An odd discovery, considering the Falcon was rarely grimy when his father had been its owner and saw to the rubbish ship's upkeep. Ben expedited from_ that _upsetting thought straightaway, dark brown hairs falling over his freshly wounded eyes._

_"I promise it will be over soon, Ben, if you hold still," Rey cautioned, expending a great deal more gentleness in her approach this time._

_Ben prayed she hadn't just overhead that highly personal contemplation of his from the past. Rey showed no signs of having overstepped her boundaries but then she reached out a hand to give his arm a reassuring squeeze, and Ben was left to second guess the Padawan learner's instincts. He mumbled under his breath (a complaint), sucked in an uncertain breath, and forced his massive, flinching body to stay still for her._

_Rey's smile extended, appeased by the grown up gesture. She unraveled a damp cloth from a closed hand and bent closer to address Ben's biggest, sorest-looking injury: a bruised, disjointed, and grossly purple nose. Much of the dried blood had, at least, been washed away thanks to her, but the injury itself was in dire need of mending. Apparently, she was the only individual who cared enough to set Ben's face to right, however, for even_  he _had acted entirely indifferent to repairing his broken nose._

_"Well, we can't have you greeting your mother looking like you just got beaten to a pulp!" Rey had tried to reason with him once she and Chewie had the Falcon flying at cruise control._

_Rey hadn't missed Ben's jerk of discomfort at the mention of his mother, nor at the fraught acknowledgment that the two would be meeting in a matter of hours; but he let it slide, opting to remind Rey through more of his perfected, grating sarcasm, "I_ did _get beaten to a pulp, remember?" and stole a stinging glance at the back of Chewie's head in the co-pilot seat._

_Chewie had whined proudly. Rey had sighed, displeased, but in the end, she was able to convince Ben to let her use her Force capabilities to heal his nose. They both seemed to be having second thoughts about that now that they had separated from Chewie and Master Luke on the Falcon to address the issue._

_It had taken all of the morning and most of the afternoon to coax Ben and Master Luke into leaving the island, but the two men had eventually conceded after much thorough bellyaching and fussing about, purposely stalling in gathering together necessities for their short journey, which, Rey shrewdly noted, could have been accomplished in about half the time that it ultimately took them to depart. Chewie's threats throughout the day helped push their agenda along, making Rey all the more grateful to have the Wookie as an accomplice._

_To an extent, she understood her master's and Ben's differing, rigid reluctance to go. Each had their misgivings about joining up with the Resistance at their new secret headquarters, some more valid and sympathetic to her than others._

_Master Luke had spent over a decade in isolation, for one, confined to the island's greenery and living off of its many natural provisions. That choice and secluded lifestyle had been his to make, but leaving behind this remote, closed off way of existence must surely be daunting to face and on such short notice, so Rey exercised patience. It wasn't as if Master Luke didn't know that this day was forthcoming, as Rey had been adamant about him joining the Resistance since her arrival, but she knew that he deserved a certain level of tolerance, so she granted it as much as her self-restraint would prolong, which had been several hours' worth of waiting on him to agree to leave Ahch-To._

_What was mostly holding Master Luke back was the hard-hitting fact that he hadn't sought to communicate with his sister once in the many years that he had hid from the galaxy. Rey found that most perplexing. Any brief exchanges she and Leia had had about Master Luke prior to seeking him out on Ahch-To had indicated that the twins were close, so why had Master Luke deserted Leia in the end?_

_Regardless of his reasons, Master Luke couldn't exactly be expected to be looking forward to confronting his sister now, especially after having left her and the Resistance behind to fend for themselves. There would likely be contempt and righteous anger on Leia's part, and Rey wouldn't chide the general for whatever ill feelings she might be harbouring about her brother. Not only was General Organa too intimidating and influential to dare chastise, she was a force of her own to be reckoned with._

_Then again, General Organa was also a woman who, like most of her sex, fluctuated, evolved, and changed...and was never no less full of surprises._

_Far more concerning to Rey than a potentially crabby Skywalker-Organa reunion was what Leia might think when she learned of Master Luke's influence in creating her son's heinous new identity, Kylo Ren. She half wondered if no one else but her had no intentions of keeping this development from the general a secret, if it_ was _a secret. Frankly, Rey hoped—prayed, rather—that_ she _wouldn't be the one to have to be the brunt of such debilitating news._

_Rey pondered the sticky situation between an uncle, nephew, and the mother of that nephew over and over again as she and the others quietly transferred supplies from the abandoned huts to the Falcon. No one had said much since Ben and Chewie's horrible face-off. The dicey atmosphere, as well as their impending departure, had put everyone too much on edge to bother exchanging words._

_A trouble at the back of Rey's mind persisted, nevertheless: did Leia know of her brother's mistake that, ultimately, set Ben on the war path towards the Dark Side? Had Han known the truth at all before he perished?_

_Rey found it increasingly trying to swallow the deeper she considered the alternative. It seemed highly unlikely that Ben's parents were privy to the whole picture of what had sent their son running into the detrimental hands of Snoke. The more likely probability was that Han Solo had gone to his death believing his precious, only son had turned on the family—and not necessarily the other way around—which left Rey wrought with bothersome discomfort._

_The Solo-Skywalker family dysfunction was an exceptionally heartbreaking one and seemed to worsen with each passing day and more destructive revelations. The likelihood of matters between any of them worsening before they had the opportunity to get better was not only feasible to Rey but a near certainty...and didn't boast well for the fragility that was the Resistance, hanging on by a hope and a thread._

_Unlike the touchy situation between Master Luke and Leia, Ben Solo had a great deal more riding on his tail to be anxious and worried about, and Rey's concerns for him, too, were merited. By all accounts, he was still considered an enemy to their cause, and there was no telling how he might be received into their fold, if at all. As his mother, General Organa might carry some influence but that authority could only extend so far. Rey wasn't foolhardy and had no trouble comprehending the tremendous odds that were stacked against Ben. Any persuasion she, Leia, and Master Luke might have would take time to come to fruition, and there wasn't much of that to be found in the middle of a war._

_The risks involved in taking Ben Solo to the Resistance's secret headquarters and putting faith in the Light not to turn on its heel and devour Ben whole was tangible. In truth, Rey was scared out of her wits, but she tried to put it out of her mind by focusing on Ben's ghastly-looking nose during that nail-biting flight._

One bleedin' obstacle at a time _, she told herself, but her concerns kept creeping to the forefront as they drew closer to their destination._

_One thing was for certain: this day would either be Leia Organa-Solo's triumph, and cast aside all doubts previously imprinted on her by those who argued against the general's undying hopes that her son would one day return; or it would be her moment of heartbreaking reckoning._

_Would she recognise the son she had maintained such unconditional love for, despite the gruesome misdeeds he had done since then, when they met in the flesh? Ben had morphed into another mutation since the innocent days of his problematic teen years, when Leia had dropped him off to be trained by his trustworthy uncle, and not just in height and muscle mass—or in how he had appropriately grown into his enchantingly large ears, for instance—but as someone Rey, too, struggled at times to connect the dots._

_The monster that was Kylo Ren was dwindling every day with each sunset, but elements of the beast lingered behind: from the heaviness in how Ben carried himself to his dark, gloomy eyes, robbed of starlight. The weight of Ben's old demons followed him everywhere._

But if _I_ can see Ben in there, Leia and others surely will, too _, Rey convinced herself._

_"Stop that," Ben snipped, jolting Rey back to the present and what she was supposed to be doing._

_Rey's cheeks flushed and her eyes flickered, taking in the uncomfortable sight of Ben's wary glare. "I... I'm sorry," she mumbled, embarrassed._

_"Yeah, well..." Ben set his nettled glare on a corner of the main hold, providing her the silent treatment._

_Rey gulped, unsure of how to approach the thoughts Ben hadn't been meant to penetrate. "I know...you're afraid..."_

_"Rey, don't—"_

_"And it's understandable," she fought to speak over him, wanting to be heard, "but... Her regard for you has never changed, Ben, regardless of...of what's happened to you."_

_Ben's eyes, darker and angrier, darted to her, holding Rey prisoner in their grip. "And how would_ you _presume to know how my mother feels about me?" he challenged, voice low and ominous._

_Rey stilled, remembering the extraordinary strength of Leia Organa-Solo on the day of Han Solo's death. Their reunion in the form of a consoling hug had conveyed a unified loss, but Leia had offered Rey a little more that day, showing remarkable perseverance in the face of all-consuming grief that the younger of the two couldn't emulate._

_"Because of the way she looks when she speaks of you," Rey uttered, her answer imparting irrefutable conviction. Her attention switched from the solid memory to Ben's stricken face, tinted by artificial lighting. "You're_ everything _to her."_

 _Ben stared at Rey without blinking, his blaze of indignation dulled by an unremitting, deeply-rooted anguish she couldn't yet touch. Then a grisly_ crack _, followed by Ben gasping, whirling his head sideways, and letting forth a mighty curse, put an end to their intimate connection. Ben blinked back tears, lightheaded from his nose being snapped into proper position, and gradually pulled his gaze back to Rey, stunted and silenced._

_"There," Rey countered and stood, giving a brief glance over of her work. Pleased with the results, she reached down to pat Ben on the shoulder. He was startled when she bent at the waist and bestowed his forehead with a sweet-natured kiss. Then she righted herself and smiled for him and his subsequent breath lodged in his throat, un-expelled. "Good as new!"_

_With that, Rey moseyed away from the main hold of the Falcon to rejoin Chewie and Master Luke in the cockpit. Ben stayed where he was: at the circular dejarik table where, in his youth, his father had tried rather hopelessly to help him strategise to win against Chewie in the hostile, two-player game. Over the years, Ben had won a total of four times, and he never forgot Chewie's rage during each battle in which he had secured the victorious manoeuvre that cost the Wookie the game._

_From afar, Ben roughly heard Chewie informing Rey of "another forty-five minutes" to go before they would reach the Resistance's base. He thought he might loose consciousness upon learning that he was that much closer to his ruination, but, somehow, his mind and body conserved their anxiety and prevented him from passing out._

_Snoke was another ultimate handle he could no longer anticipate how it would end. He hadn't checked in with Ben in weeks and, aside from confronting the magnitude that was his mother and her justified bones to pick with him, Ben knew that_ that _defining connection was still forthcoming as well._

_There was more than one way to skin a cat, and Ben, to his mirthless knowledge, was screwed on both sides._

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(D'Qar, Resistance Headquarters)**

The building commotion and uproar showed no indications of waning, and the throbbing in Leia's head wasn't conducive to concentrating on easing the tensions; or giving much of a damn about what was being spat back and forth. She groaned and rubbed at her temples, though, unsurprisingly, there was no instant relief to be had.

Who would have thought it would be her own ruddy crew—not their enemies—responsible for doing General Organa's head in? Leia was determined not to voice such offence aloud, however, and made to push the mounting chaos from her mind by closing her eyes and searching out that reliable expanse; that tranquil sanctuary in the centre of her being where those surrounding her couldn't interfere, between breaths and between worlds. She prayed that she might find her dutiful son there, too, maybe her granddaughter and her daughter-in-law as well.

_Ben..._

Leia's stab at reaching them went (sadly) unfulfilled, as she kept being shaken from such desired designs by those occupying the same physical sphere. At present, they were repeatedly shouting her name and throwing verbal darts at one another that shot to hell the odds of achieving any peaceful solution.

For the Resistance, and especially its great leader, it was a sore sight to witness: top-ranking officials, all of whom claimed to adore General Organa, and whom she sincerely loved in return, were resorting to acting like gremlins rather than astute, capable human beings.

Leia hadn't expected the sudden outpouring of disfavour towards her decision-making. Yet, as all four foot, eleven inches of her stood amidst two opposing sides for the same cause, Leia bleakly realised, perhaps too belatedly, that she  _should_  have anticipated this backlash. Worse, even, from that of her own, if she were to be completely honest with herself.

Digging her fingernails into her palms, Leia inhaled long and deep and released a defining exclamation, the level of her voice unimpressive but its zeal no less effective as she commanded to the masses, " _That's enough_!"

The atmosphere quieted down within seconds, though conflicting emotions throughout the room, which stemmed from adverse to terror, held. Lieutenant Mills, a thirty-something, dark-haired woman with pale green eyes and an unfailing loyalist to Leia since the first forecasts suggested that another Darkness after the First Order was brewing, leaned in from across the circular table that divided her and the general, a 3D map of Proclamation's Star base, as well as three of their rotating fighter ships, acting as an unfortunate barrier.

"General, with all due respect—" she started to address Leia but was cut down before she could finish her thought.

"Yeah? And in what capacity am I getting any of _that_  at the moment, Lieutenant?"

Leia shot Mills a reproachful stare that left the lieutenant, as well as many of her like-minded colleagues, cowering in shame, their body language inching back from the military space at which everyone of high-ranking importance was gathered. Certainly, no one was enjoying this—questioning General Organa's jurisdiction—but for some, such misfortune could no longer be muted or avoided.

"We mean you no disrespect, General," another boldly—or foolishly—interceded on Mills' behalf, a bearded fellow to Lieutenant Mills' right, "but Lieutenant Mills is right. We have fighters in position—"

"Actually, um, you've got  _three_  fighters up there at the moment, Lieutenant Davies," Poe piped in, giving a clumsy clearing of his throat and a grating crunch of his teeth as he chowed on an assortment of chips. Several unnerved staff members, including Davies and Mills, rotated their stiff heads towards the outspoken Starflight Commander, now lounging on an ordinary desk feet from them, with an intricate printed map of the enemy's second Starkiller base spread across his thighs. "Just the three," Poe carried on casually through a mouth full of food, as if he were blind to their annoyance. "Not enough to start a war; not  _nearly_ enough."

Turning beet red in the face, the vexed man named Davies snarled, "I meant we should send up  _more_  fighters!"

Poe raised both eyebrows, paused to offer Finn a chip, who was standing beside him and politely declined, and turned to Leia for guidance. "And what of this Starkiller base?"

"We should send up fighters to deal with this matter first, Commander!"

"Well, as you may recall, Lieutenant, there are innocent people— _crucial_  members to the Resistance and  _children_ , mind you—trapped on that base right now. As far as I've been told, we aren't being given the order to intervene and potentially wipe out any of our own. Unless...General?"

Leia abstained from rolling her eyes or smirking, but the amused shimmer that passed by her eyes didn't go amiss from those her gaze was pointedly directed at. "At ease, Commander," she deadpanned to Poe and reluctantly returned to the strain in the room that required her intervention.

"General," a soft-spoken Major Brance took a turn to speak, causing Leia to start; he delicately took her by the arm, "our enemy won't let us circle their base and survey their perimeters forever untouched. Mills and Davies have a point. It would be advantageous to us to start this—"

" _For the last time_ , Brance," Leia declared, gripping an edge of the table to keep from snatching the closest item within reach and hurling it at someone's head, "I  _won't_  strike until I hear from Ben, Rey, or Luke. It's crucial that we gather intelligence from the inside."

Brance looked as though he were about to plead his—and others'—case some more when a buzz of outrage swarmed the room. A man of roughly the same age and rank as Mills shouted louder and above the fray, "This operation can't afford to be stalled any longer on account of five captives and two of our crew who entered Proclamation's Star base willingly, knowing the risks they were taking!"

Leia's head whirled towards the young man questioning her authority, piercing him with her glare so intensely that his eyes dove for the floor. Her surveillance continued to measure his, eyes simmering with repressed wrath. She held her head high but refused to acknowledge such a complaint.

Thankfully, Finn interrupted the spark of excitement, sparing Leia the opportunity to lose her composure. "Those are _lives_  you're suggesting we toy with! Lives that matter to us!"

"And what," the young man daringly prodded, turning his offence on Finn, "the countless others we've lost in battling the Proclamation have meant  _nothing_?"

"No one's saying that!" Poe stepped in, jumping up from the desk he had been using as a convenient chair. "But they deserve more time!" He brandished the confidential map he held in one hand. "The only reason we now have a chance to put an end to the Proclamation's tyranny is because of Ben! The Solo family  _deserves_  a chance to escape! We  _have_  to give them that!"

"'Time'?" Davies disputed, frustrated by Poe's stance. He waved an accusatory finger in the air, not aiming his declaration at anyone in particular, though everyone's weighty attention still fell upon their stoic, silent general. "Our time is running out! The longer we hold onto this vital information and do nothing, the greater chance the Proclamation has to uncover what we're up to and slip away from us!"

The young man who had dared to debate General Organa's tactics before stepped forward, slammed his hands down on the table, and stared Leia down, no longer afraid to challenge her. "General, I  _implore_  you, it's now or never! We  _can't_  miss this chance! You must be willing to put your personal sacrifices aside and—"

"'Personal sacrifices'?" Leia reiterated, her choice of a low whisper carrying a density that saw most personnel lamenting the man's frame of words. He, too, recoiled in seeming regret. "Ah, I suppose you...you'd know all about the 'personal sacrifices' I've made for the good of this base... _wouldn't you_?"

Though she had managed to shut most of her staff up, Leia's confidence wavered, heart and mind torn between following the principled advice of her crew, which she knew, as an experienced, long-time strategist, would be to the better benefit of their cause and staying on the treacherous course that her heart so hopelessly preferred: keeping her family together...and in one piece. She froze where she stood, heart pumping tumultuously, her tongue unable to speak to those waiting on her to accept their counsel.

 _The welfare of the galaxy above your own, Leia_ , a wiser, deeper voice within answered her turmoil, stomping down the unbearable pangs that beat within the walls of her chest.  _Yes._  Freedom came above her heart; democracy came before those whom she loved most.  _But to what end has any of it made you stronger...or better?_  her tattered heartstrings moaned.

There was no answer to that convoluted question. There could be none that Leia Organa-Solo might be able to live with or overcome.

_Too many losses. Please don't take anymore from me. Please... No more._

She was saved—somewhat—from addressing her staff again by Brance, who gently cajoled a hampered, indisposed Leia away from the centre of what was, to her, a darkening world caving in on itself, on  _her_. He begged for their staff to offer the general and him a moment to converse alone. His request was granted, but the disenchanted droning from many of those who turned their backs and griped amongst themselves carried on.

"General...  _Leia_ ," said Brance, trying to voice his opinion with delicacy, "I'm afraid time is running thin."

"Brance..." Leia wrestled to speak and floundered.

"They're right, Leia: we can't delay. The longer we dally, the more time the Proclamation has to counter an attack. If they decide to take us on first, our three fighters won't stand a chance up there, and we'll have no choice but to engage anyhow."

Unable to cope with the downward spiral, Leia drew inward, yielding to the inevitable that was so viciously staring her in the face and laughing cruelly at one more of her sorrows. She slumped against the end of a desk, hunched her shoulders defeatedly, and closed her eyes. Her soul may have been clobbering to hang on to a smidgen of hope, but there could be no tears shed in this room. Such griefs would have to be reserved for when she was on her own. A mother's and grandmother's and general's losses, though crushing, were to be mourned behind closed doors, not in the open air.

"General!" a startlingly eager Poe suddenly dislodged Leia from her internal melancholy. He shook her shoulder, forcing Leia to open her eyes, whether she desired to distract herself from her splintering heart or not. "We have an idea! Well, it was  _Finn_ 's idea, really, and it's brilliant, I'm telling you!"

Finn, who had strolled over to join their close circle, squared his shoulders and griped, "Why do you act surprised whenever I have an idea? My ideas are  _always_  genius!"

Poe laughed and slapped him on the back. "I'm just giving you credit, love—"

"Officer Finn, what's this 'genius' plan of yours?" Leia cut in, exercising all seriousness. "More importantly,  _will it save my family_?"

"That's the hope, General," Finn replied, nodding in earnest. "If we can shuttle a couple of your biggest cruisers up there to distract the Proclamation, we might be able to sidetrack the rest of these sour, bloodthirsty sods, too."

"Distract  _how_?" Leia questioned.

"By going after their source of survival  _before_  we cut them off everywhere else: Starkiller base."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N (cont.) : Thank you, as always, to those who review...**


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : We're now all caught up on the story here on AO3! And I hope to have another chapter completed soon. From here on, I can't guarantee speedily written/produced chapters, but I hope they will be worth waiting on...**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 23**

_"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."_

—Melody Beattie

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Ben stalled upon his knelt, hunched forward position on the ground, evidently incapable of so much as drawing breath. The tension in his limbs was comprehensible, for without possession of the upper hand  _or_  being stationed on higher ground, he was exceptionally low on options, and _that_  was terrifying at this calamitous time frame in which he found himself facing a circumstance he couldn't have fathomed in his wildest nightmares: his family caught in the rift of the life-threatening mess that was his double life.

Considering the many terrors his cursed soul had beheld in over forty years of participating in warfare, bloodshed, and toying the dangerous line between Darkness, Light, and annihilation, Ben Solo had  _still_  managed to naively avoid any sickening contemplations surrounding his own children being subjected to said atrocities. He had made it his utmost purpose in this renewed life of his, with Rey, to keep her and their children off of Snoke's radar, no matter the cost, and the profound error in not having confronted such a possibility, if only in heinous theory, that that might all amount to rubbish was being sorely tended to now, as Ben found himself challenged by the disastrous card he was being dealt and unable to play to his advantage.

_"...take off that mask. Let us see each other plainly."_

Paralysed by Snoke's tall order, Ben broke out in an inconvenient sweat at the back of his neck, beneath his fisted, gloved hands, and on his forehead. Snoke had mandated that he remove his mask, and at a heart-pounding moment such as this, when it would be most unfortunate to show the crippling fears that were starting to manifest on the outside, Ben found that he had little other option available but to comply.

The 'front' that was Kylo Ren had been his handiest pretence before and since Snoke's re-rise to power, and yet, ironically, that façade was now failing him dismally. Not only had it camouflaged countless reactions to the many enemies he was forced to regularly interact with, allowing for some level of control over the stream of emotions his face otherwise wore at any given moment, but it kept outsiders guessing Ben's true sentiments, Snoke amongst them.

Snoke detested the mask because of what it denied him: any clear signalling of disloyalty and doubt re-rising within his apprentice. Ben had fashioned himself a new one (amusedly, with Rey's handy assistance) upon regaining his place in the Supreme Leader's tight-knit circle and had considered it one of his greatest acts of defiance—a small acknowledgement in the grand scheme of things, perhaps, but important to the double agent, nonetheless, who wished to impress upon his 'master' that he wouldn't be so easily kicked around as he had in the past.

Well, not  _entirely_. As dedicated as Ben intended to play his part, he was determined to show a bit of a rebellious streak in his character that had been too terrorising to consider under Snoke's rigorous First Order regime. He would, as he vindictively put it to his less enthusiastic wife and mother, 'poke the beast who fed him' from time to time, testing and addling Snoke's mutilating paranoia. That, in turn, meant the trusty commander was kept on a tight leash but that, too, provided Ben a secret weapon of sorts: greater access to the maniac's way of thinking and plotting.

Alas, it would seem that all of Ben's painstaking efforts towards securing an end to the Proclamation were falling by the wayside and he was being forced to swallow the brunt of those misfortunes, though his throat was too parched. Knowing that if he was ordered to remove his mask a second time he would likely forfeit any of Snoke's remaining trust, Ben obliged his 'master'. His slightly unsteady hands gripped the fail-safe black chrome that had become his haven and it betrayed his feathery touch, clicking and shifting out of joint. The mask, at last, slipped away to reveal a clamped, unsafe falsehood: Ben's fleshy, vulnerable expressions, ready to sell him out at any second.

"Yes, you see?  _There_." Snoke's affirmation, a harsh, daunting whisper that sounded most confident in its tone, set the nail-biting scene, his upper lip curling backward in disgust. He whipped Amidala around by the shoulders, snaking his large hands around her, though there was no need to hold the girl physically hostage; his Force abilities provided such oppression well enough on their own, ensuring that Amidala wouldn't escape. "Is  _that_  the face of a faithful apprentice, I wonder?"

Amidala didn't answer him. Her breathing quickened as she gaped, petrified, at Ben for some sort of guidance, but his eyes were purposely aimed somewhere around her wonky ankles, his form unmoving.

Snoke, too, didn't elaborate upon that tantalising question, allowing for the thick silence to cultivate and deepen. He eventually leaned closer to Amidala and brushed her ear with his cold lips, proposing by way of a delighted smirk, "Shall I tell you what I think, my dear?" to which she snarled, resisting.

"I - I'm  _not_  your 'dear', you filth!"

Amidala wiggled uselessly against her invisible restraints, attempting to draw attention away from her father. Ben saw straight through his daughter's gallant but, ultimately, flimsy ploy and, regrettably, so did Snoke, for, unaffected by her outburst, his crafty attention zoned in on Ben specifically, wicked eyes unblinking and driven.

"Rise, Commander Ren."

Ben's long legs did mechanically as they were instructed to. Either this was an out of body experience—a new, unfamiliar sensation for Ben—or his fears had reached new heights upon which even  _he_  could no longer react with fleet-footed precision or cautious effectiveness. He was afflicted by the horror of what had mounted into a ruinous situation. How was he to stop this impending shipwreck without killing himself or, worse, taking down Amidala and the rest of his family with him?

_You're in over your head_ , a canny voice warned inside his head, and it took Ben a couple seconds to comprehend that that hadn't been his own conscience remarking on his supposed downfall.

For some reason, either stemming from witless audacity or an involuntary reflex, Ben lifted his affected gaze and forced himself to look upon the harrowing scene, eyes flashing back and forth between his trapped daughter and the unbridled mastermind now threatening everything he held dear. He turned off his emotions, much like hitting a light switch, and frantically prepped himself for the worst that was yet to come.

"You see, my dear, I advised my apprentice long ago that should he double-cross me," Snoke proclaimed with bone-chilling, impassive evenness, holding a debilitated Amidala and Ben engrossed, "it would mean his end; the termination of his life and the extinction of his royal bloodline. He nearly met that end in the Great Fire that took down the First Order...and nearly _me_  with it.

"But like ashes, and those too powerless to stop our tyranny from spreading, we rose. So, too, did my undistinguished apprentice, with his elaborate tale of being blinded by the Light's promises; by that contemptible scavenger's Light and lies.  _Your mother_ ," he breathed next to Amidala's ear, causing her stomach to clench.

"I took him back, you see. I showed my apprentice mercy, a token rarely granted. I gave him everything he sought and  _then_  some, for he had submitted to his weaknesses and granted me the wherewithal to hone them to my benefit. I don't give second chances lightly, you know, but I remembered Ren's potential and decided that his powers were too easily manipulated to destroy.

"Ah, yes, such raw capacity, such breathtaking conflict... Such a mighty tool for the Proclamation...

"I warned Ren," Snoke continued, each sentence darkening, "that should he double-cross me again, I  _would_  finish what I started. That should have been sufficient; my threat needn't have gone any farther. And then I saw it..."

Snoke inhaled a strenuous-sounding breath, lithe fingers digging into Amidala's shoulders. She shook, not from the displeasure of the Sith's touch, though it was putrid to experience, no doubt, but from the knowingness and ferocity that lay behind his claimed, as yet unspoken vision.

Then a series of grisly images began flourishing across Amidala's sight and, spooked at recognising them from two years ago during an unforgettable meditation session with her mother that had gone disastrously wrong and ended with her father passing out, Amidala went rigid. She saw her brother, Han, trying to outrun what she now identified as Kylo Ren's—her father's—flaming red saber that rose to cut him down; Astrid screaming in unspeakable pain as her petite body was electro-shocked, the force used showcasing such brutality that, before long, she went grey and lifeless; and her mother writhing on the ground as her Light and goodness were stripped from her until she could no longer communicate or move...

Nearing hysteria, Amidala's eyes clasped onto Ben, who showed understated but no less panic-stricken signs of having been forced to watch the same visions. Was the savagery she had witnessed that day alongside her parents been, rather, a foreshadowing of their present captivity—and alleged aftermath—instead of what she had presumed was the Darkness simply messing with her family and trying to scare them?

Amidala's chest heaved and she shut her eyes, determined to block out what she was being dictated to behold. Her stubborn refusal to look upon the disintegration of her family any longer didn't lessen Snoke's cutthroat approach.

"The  _girl_..." he snarled, with aggressive, clear-minded hatred that saw Amidala recoiling farther into herself. "That worthless Nobody—your wretched mother—attempting to sabotage my apprentice once more! Her audacity knew no bounds! I retreated the day she struck back, but I wasn't fooled by what I saw. She was an instigator who needed to be squashed! Then, who should I encounter but  _you_ , young Padawan?"

One of Snoke's frigid hands slipped from Amidala's shoulder to wrap around her neck. Amidala stiffened, harder breathing coming in and out of her nose in quick spurts. Ben, watching from afar, chewed his inner cheek so hard that he tasted the acid tang of blood on his tongue.

"I knew the scavenger had had the repugnancy to reproduce," the wise Sith lord begrudged, his menacing caress of Amidala holding whilst his sinister eyes remained glued to a seemingly helpless Ben. "I sensed your gifts, young Padawan, from the moment I first sought you in your dreams. You remember, don't you? Three years ago... And I've pursued you ever since.

"I needed to know  _how_  such a powerful youngling had come into being without my prior knowledge. There's no way a Force-sensitive like you gains such strength in such a short span of time without counsel; without those stronger in the ways of the Force to shield you from me; without ties to a powerful bloodline... And there aren't many of  _those_  to come by, are there?

"Ah, yes," he snorted, revelling in his expertise of what the Solos had sadly believed was a covert cover, "I'd failed to discover you sooner, my dear, but I know now. Yes,  _I_   _know_  all  _about you_. Your mother, your treacherous father,  _no one_  can hide you from me..."

Another familiar image suddenly played by Amidala's mind and her eyes flew open, abject horror overtaking her senses: herself, dressed in the current clothes she donned, bowing before Snoke on bended knee and binding her loyalty to him. Her head shot up, eyes enlarged. She noticed that Ben had seen it, too, though he still hadn't much reacted.

"No!" she half exclaimed, half strained. "I - I  _won't_! I'd  _never_!"

Undeterred, Snoke pressed on, keeping Amidala disturbingly close as he laughed lowly against the side of her face, "You  _shall_ , my dear. All in good time. But I must carry on with my story, mustn't I? I haven't gotten to the juiciest part yet. No, no...

"The burning question, I'm sure, you and Ren are asking yourselves is how did I come to connect you to your father and his hidden identity? Why, by those who made for my unwitting accomplices in this most fascinating mystery: your own parents, my dear."

Elated by the fickle reactions he garnered from both Amidala and Ben, each of whom flickered their fraught-filled gazes towards one another, the Supreme Leader smiled a sinister smile and bid his time. The upsetting news sunk in, ruthless and life-altering, and it didn't take long for one of them to mount a defence.

" _You - You're a liar_!" Amidala heatedly fired back, even as Snoke chuckled and tightened his clutch around her throat. "They'd  _never_  tell you  _anything_! You tore it out of my sister, you monster! She's only  _five_ , and you assaulted her mind!"

"What a fool you are, young one," Snoke tut-tutted her, his mangled, aged face cool and devoid of emotion. "You have so much to learn, my dear. So, so much..."

"I told you,  _I'm not your_ —"

"Your little sister merely confirmed for me what I'd already suspected; or just  _who_  do you and your father think you're dealing with?"

The suffocating pause that followed was near crushing, and all father and daughter could do in that ill-fated moment was stare at one another, despairing and afraid, their silhouettes cruelly separated by mere meters. All remaining blood drained from Ben's countenance, marking him grossly ashen and visibly gripped in a waking nightmare of his own apparent, hapless doing, now about to come to its vicious end.

"Your parents unknowingly gave you away, young Padawan," Snoke revealed, his words containing no shred of mercy. "You think them god-like, you and your siblings, but you're so wrong, it's nearly pitiful. They're weak and flawed—"

" _No, they're not_!" Amidala thrashed about, though the act did her no good.

"—and ineffective against  _me_! I knew your gifts couldn't stem wholly from your mother alone. You had to have  _two_  Force-sensitive parents, and who is as equally matched in the Light as your mother but my own apprentice in his Darkness? The one who  _failed_  me before and to whom your mother had sought to protect more than once!

"How unfortunate for the pathetic lot of you Solos.  _Yes_... The man you've faithfully called 'father' has sealed yours and your family's fates, I'm afraid. It's thanks to  _him_  that you're all to perish."

Amidala jolted in fright. In spite of having her air supply somewhat cut off by Snoke's grip, she squirmed and fought to speak.

" _You promised me_!" she started shrieking and craned her neck to glare down Snoke, eyes watering with tears. "You - You swore to me that you'd leave my family alone if - if I came to you—"

" _If_  I got what I wanted, you daft child!" he scorned, unremitting, and bore his jagged, yellow teeth. Amidala crumbled, silenced by the horrid realisation that she had been played. "You refused to give me what I asked for: your father! You proved yourself unworthy! Untrustworthy!"

"N - No,  _please_!"

"Did you honestly think _you_  were any kind of worthwhile substitute for the uncovering of your father's true identity; for the capture of the rest of your family? I've sought your parents' demises for  _years_ , you ignorant girl. Did you _really_  think I'd stop now? For  _you_? Such a gullible, witless child."

" _NO_!" Amidala cried out, her desperate exclamation registering more like a loud whimper.

Seeking to degrade her more, Snoke yanked on Amidala's throat, pulling them almost nose to nose. She let out a feebler cry this time and, from feet away, Ben's legs gave an intense jerk, his saber hand twitching to rise up and fight.

"I don't cater to anyone!" the Supreme Leader declared, growling in her face. " _I am the Proclamation_! _I_  am more powerful than you could ever hope to be! You're  _nothing_ , you mindless, worthless, little scum!"

With that, he released his hold and tossed Amidala to the floor with one fluid, rough shove. Overcome with emotion, Amidala raised her head and looked Snoke defiantly in the face, tears pouring from her eyes.

" _We had a deal_!" she pleaded, visibly shaken but hoping still to try to reason with the madman. It shattered Ben's heart. "You promised me you'd let my family go!"

"I don't make promises, fool!" Snoke boomed over her. He slithered forward, looming over a trembling Amidala, who instinctively retreated backwards on her hands and knees, closer and closer to Ben. "I make  _commands_ , idiotic girl, which are to be obeyed! And, now, it's time for  _you_  to pay your dues, Amidala Solo. You must choose. Your family is finished! Will you join them?"

Amidala's mouth wavered, torn between saying nothing and running to Ben's side or attempting to stand her pointless ground. She was spared having to answer when the lights throughout the room abruptly flickered and shut off, placing her, Snoke, and her father in complete darkness. Alarms sounded an alert, their ear-splitting noise overpowering Snoke's subsequent curse, followed by an enraged growl of, "What in the—?" that went incomplete.

Detecting the sudden shuffling of feet nearby, for Amidala was too close to Snoke for his sharp sensitivities not to pick up on, he whipped his head towards the source of retreat, glowing eyes squinting to make her or Ben out amongst the shadows. His voice erupted above the terror, earth-shattering and dominant as he roared, " _TRAITOR_! _YOU WILL NOT RUN FROM_  ME _, BEN SOLO_! _NOT NOW! NOT EVER AGAIN_!"

Snoke's spindly arms rose into the air, shrivelled fingers outstretched. Darkness frothed and pawed, swirling about and hungering for a fight. Then feral blue light cut through the shadows, its brilliance lighting up the room and eclipsing Ben's and Amidala's concealment. Snoke's Force lightening combusted with the igniting of Ben's crossguard saber, which sought to drive back the Darkness that threatened to overrun him and his daughter.

In this shared space, Ben and Snoke discerned one another's faces distinctively—one blood red by his saber, grim, resistant, and fiercely protective, the other as coldblooded as the blue bursts of energy that exploded from his fingertips—with Amidala crouched behind the defying commander's back, powerless to any of it.

"You've disobeyed me for the last time,  _Ben Solo_!" Snoke bellowed, his upper lip sneering at the mere utterance of the man's birth name. "You, the girl, and your blasphemous offspring are  _through_!"

Ben, strong arms struggling to maintain a firm grip on his saber, which was acting as a convenient shield against Snoke's Force lightening but gruelling to maintain the connection, pushed back. "This is between you and me, Snoke!" he avowed, addressing the Supreme Leader informally for the first time. Snoke's mouth twisted, unnerved by such uprising in a man he thought he had tamed. "I won't yield to you! And this won't end until you or I or both of us are dead!"

Snoke provoked Ben's ultimatum with another one of his own, its trigger beginning with a heartless, shallow grin. "Then you'd best get ready, my unwise, double-crosser! Prepare to watch your wife and children die! One by one, I shall take them from you! Then I shall deal with  _you_!"

With a wordless command that had been directed underhandedly, and without any anticipation on Ben's part, a string of hidden doors along the walls suddenly slid open, revealing seven armed guards who had been stationed behind them. Each wore individually personalised chrome masks, their belts bounded by sharp blades or sabers regularly used in combat. They stepped through the thresholds to flank the Supreme Leader and surround Ben and Amidala from all sides.

Ben's blood began pumping twice as fast, for, even amidst the darkness, he recognised their armoury well. They were the remnants of what had once been an imposing group of warriors Ben, himself, had formed under the First Order: the highly skilled, highly deadly Knights of Ren. Two original members had survived the First Order's collapse and were seasoned fighters, but the rest Ben had had to freshly recruit in the early days of the Proclamation. None of them showed the faintest hesitation at coming after their commander—at least, not at the off—for, like him, they, too, had been trained to answer to Snoke first and above all others.

Amidala clawed at Ben's back and left arm, the faintest cry escaping her mouth. She was utterly defenceless, without a lightsaber or other suitable weaponry to take part in a fight.

Unable to disengage from Snoke's Force lightening assault without risking electrocution and causing bodily harm to Amidala as well, Ben shifted his stance, stepped backward, and twisted an arm across his daughter's chest, pulling her protectively against him. With his saber hand, he fought to maintain their shield, the only thing keeping them alive.

"Kill the youngling," Snoke callously commanded of his knights, that death warrant seizing Ben's heart and threatening to flat line it, "and bring the rest of his good-for-nothing family to me! We shall execute them here! But Ren's  _mine_  to finish!"

*** * * * * ***

**Three and a Half Years Earlier**

**Jakku**

Rey exited the Falcon's cockpit access tunnel at a gradual, unhurried pace, her emotions spinning and disjointed, clashing and distant in her mind. In her swaddling arms, Astrid babbled and pointed avidly at the secured door that led to the ship's escape ramp, eager to explore what lay beyond their barrier.

There was nothing for the tot to get overly excited about, though, and no one understood that knowledge more appropriately than the little girl's mother. Jakku was a desert wasteland, its occupants some of the worst Rey had encountered in her early years spent on the remote planet; or so she had presumed until she abandoned the life of an orphan—a supposed Nobody without any special assets or skills to speak of...except for the one untamed and unnamed in her soul—to fight against a ravaging Sith lord whose backward philosophies were hell-bent on destroying everyone she cared about, her future husband included.

Rey bundled Astrid closer to her chest and kissed one of her plump cheeks. From behind she detected her two elder children exchanging candid, unimpressive remarks with their father about what was, to them, a rather uneventful family excursion.

"Mum grew up  _here_?" Han inquired more than once, glancing up at Ben in disbelief as they sauntered out of the cockpit tunnel as well. He couldn't seem to grasp the notion that his bright, fun-loving mother had grown up in such a depressing place as this.

"Yes," Ben answered, exercising patience with their repeated questions and bending forward so as to address them quietly. "Not everyone's as fortune to have lived where  _you_  have, Han."

"But... But there's nothing  _here_!" the boy stressed, disenchanted and dumbfounded.

Amidala crossed her arms and glowered, looking thoroughly uncomfortable with where they were, particularly once the ramp was lowered. She refused to take another step.

"It's awfully...drab," she muttered into her chest, not wishing to have Rey overhear what she _really_  thought of the woman's home planet.

Ben straightened, furrowed his brow, and pushed his daughter forward with a gentle but non-negotiable nudge. "You two are far too judgmental for your ages, you know that?"

"But Dad—" Han contested.

"'But'  _nothing_ , Han," Ben interrupted, sternly shutting his son and daughter down, each of whom had the modesty to, at least, act ashamed. "And keep your voices down. I won't have you upsetting your mother while we're here."

Rey smirked into Astrid's bountiful, soft curls, their smell reminiscent of the riverbank that greeted the tail end of the Solos' current property line.  _Unlike_  this _hell hole_ , she surly considered as she and Astrid eased down the ramp together, a whiff of dry sand hitting her in the face. Amidala's and Han's ill reactions to Jakku weren't off the mark, really, and Rey had every intention of keeping this visitation brief and to the point.

With Astrid in tow and chatting excitedly about the vast, flat landscape that stretched as far as the eye could see, Rey paused at the bottom of the ramp to scan the horizon in depth. The bright sun caused both mother and daughter to squint hard, for something else was set amongst so much empty wilderness: a small, lone gravesite, consisting of ten or so stone patches. Its location stuck out like a heart-string plucked from one's grief-stricken heart, that which belonged to Rey Solo and made her immediately draw inward. Astrid eyed her mother over funnily, not understanding her need to halt in her tracks.

The coordinates had been correct.  _Master Luke wasn't lying_ , much to Rey's pleasant surprise. He had told her where to find her parents' joint grave, though Rey had had to weasel the information out of him at the time. She hadn't known until her short time spent on Ahch-To years before that her parents so much as had a final resting place. The Resistance had gone to extensive lengths to retrieve their bodies and provide them with a proper burial site, and yet, their daughter had been left in the dark about the proximity her parents really were to her all along.

It was a cold, hard-hitting truth that left Rey bitter and teary-eyed at times over the years. She hadn't felt compelled to revisit Jakku and, more particularly, her parents' unmarked grave until after having children of her own...and remembering the worst bits from her parentless upbringing.

How many countless nights had she spent as a child gazing up at the stars and yearning—praying—for her mother's and father's return?  _An exhaustive amount_ , she could recall. She had sought them out there in the big, expanding universe, believing wholeheartedly that they were alive and out there somewhere, never thinking that they might lay dead beneath the dry earth mere miles from her feet. Learning the truth had been difficult but, over time, Rey had come to terms with it.

Aware of Ben at her back and monitoring her every capricious thought and mood swing, Rey refocused on the task at hand and stepped from beneath the shade the Falcon's overhang provided, feeling the sweltering humidity from the sun's rays pouring over her exposed neck and shoulders. Ben, along with Amidala and Han, held back a bit, strolling several feet behind Rey and Astrid as they approached the isolated gravesite several yards away.

At some point, Astrid requested to be put down and Rey silently obliged, allowing the toddler to skip on ahead of her. The curious tot was much more interested in kicking the sand than surveying the various piles of stone, however, and quickly lost sight of being the first to reach the gravesite. Her mother took the lead.

Had she not been informed of where to look, Rey might not have been able to guess which grave belonged to her parents. She headed for the smallest stone pile in the farthest right-hand corner and, resigned, took a knee.

How strangely insignificant their resting place was. Jakku had never been their home, only Rey's, and, to this day, having the Resistance bury them here didn't make much sense in her eyes. Perhaps it had been their last request, should anything happen to them, to be near their daughter one last time. Perhaps, at one point, there had been a plan in place to tell Rey the truth of what had happened to them—that her mother and father weren't, in fact, as far away and removed as she had long believed—and yet, nothing had ultimately been communicated to her or done about making her aware that her parents were never coming home.

_It doesn't matter now_ , she reminded herself, especially on this day that was meant to be a final goodbye.

That was the heart of it, really: the actuality didn't, in fact, make a difference in Rey's world. She was a proud mother now herself, married to a complicated but beautiful man, and devoted to a family who were at the very centre of her Everything. In her heart, Rey had come to understand that the present was all that truly counted. What she possessed nowadays was leaps and bounds above what she ever could have dreamt for herself as a lost, lonely little girl, and she was grateful for it, to be sure.

Yet, as Rey knelt before her parents' grave, slight and silent and indefensible, she was unabashedly reminded of the losses she had been dealt and how damaging growing up without a parental figure had been to her loveless childhood. She thought she had recovered from that misery and sense of abandonment—and, for the most part, she had recuperated—but today's test was taxing some of that resolve.

Rey's eyes alighted with unshed tears. For a moment, she seriously considered weeping for the unkindness in not being able to remember much of them, for the wonderful grandchildren they would never know or watch prosper, for the awareness they would never have of Han's astounding flight capabilities at six and a half years old or Amidala's ability to consume books like a wet sponge or the utter sweetness that was Astrid's personality, or for the extraordinary son-in-law they would never come to appreciate and adore as she had. They would never know their daughter's story; where she had found a home.

Amidala and Han sidestepped from the doleful scene, kicking up sand and flinging handfuls of it at each other. Their playful antics, as well as Ben's incessant barking that they "quit acting up", soon forced Rey from her private thoughts. She wiped at the tears that hadn't been spilt, sniffed to clear her sinuses, and chuckled, softly uttering without turning around, "Let them play. There's not much else to do around here."

Choosing to respect Rey's instruction, Ben quieted and awaited his wife's next move. Astrid, too, bounded away to join in on her siblings' fun, finding the gravesite not all that engaging or curious enough to want to explore.

Reeling in her composure, and no longer finding value in where she was, Rey rose and turned to face a concerned Ben. He didn't hesitate to open his solid, welcoming arms to her and, stretching her mouth into an appreciative smile, Rey accepted being brought into the man's accepting fold. He wove her into a tight-fitting embrace, one that was extra snug and tender and just what her sore heart coveted for.

"Are you all right?" he inquired after a rather pregnant pause in which Rey released a detectable sigh. The act lifted her entire body in the process.

Rey opened her eyes to take in the endearing sight of her three children romping around in the middle of the desert, cackling and apparently having the time of their lives. Her fetching smile broadened instantly.

"More than fare, love."

A moment later, an affectionate kiss came to rest at the top of Rey's head. She readily leaned into it, desiring more of the same. Light nuzzling from the tip of Ben's nose, too, left her heavy heart lighter.

"You have a home now," Ben assured Rey in a soft whisper that transcended into her hair. "Your home is where we are."

_Yes_ , she understood, her spirits livening and easily transported from a past torment that was Jakku once and for all,  _I do. I have a home now._

Rey reached onto tiptoe, returning Ben's affections with a selection of enthusiastic kisses to the dip in the centre of his exposed collar bone. He shivered, enamoured, and embraced her tighter.

*** * * * * ***

**Present Day**

**(Proclamation's Star base)**

Rey staggered into a corridor behind Han, Chewie, and Blaze, imbalanced and scrambling to a full stop. It wasn't the suspicious disruption of sirens and flashing red lights that had her startling in her tracks, however, nor the utter darkness they happened upon when the elevator they were using abruptly quit working. Save for Blaze's flashlight illuminating their way (and verifying the substantial number of personnel operating this floor), the gut feeling churning the pit of Rey's stomach was what was putting her on edge.

The vision had ultimately stopped her—hideous and strikingly known to her—of the children being executed by way of various gruelling methods or, in Amidala's case, bowing to the Dark Side's will. Why was she being subjected to these hypothetical trajectories of torture out of nowhere?

Rey hastily grounded herself, seeking an answer that might reside at the edge of that otherworldly precipice between wakefulness and dreams, between fabrication and reality.  _Ben..._  she called to him, reaching out with her Light and calculating that something was off.

Rey's eyes snapped open, her attention being viciously channelled away from where she had sought clarity by Blaze's fast-moving flashlight, which had been leading their escape route towards the main hanger since being derailed by the defunct elevator. He ushered them onward through hushed, tense directions.

"Go easy," he instructed Han and Chewie, gesturing for them to walk ahead of him, Rey and Astrid as well. "Not too fast."

Rey's heart rate accelerated. She released Astrid's small hand, needing to slow her racing heartbeat, but Astrid whimpered and tugged at her robes. To hush the distressed child, as they couldn't afford to draw attention to themselves, not even under the guise of darkness, Rey fell to her knees and scooped Astrid into her arms, aware that, in all likelihood, the little one had seen the terrible visions, too.

The power having gone out was, at least, providing a bonus in their escape efforts, sheltering the family's faces and where they were headed, though Chewie's seven-foot frame couldn't be entirely cushioned by the shadows. Personnel were busily rushing past them, all but ignoring who they might be as they clambered to figure out the source of the problem, a swift solution, and look for direction from their superiors.

" _Wait_ ," Rey called out and Blaze, Han, and Chewie spun around, confused and highly charged. She continued to hold tightly to Astrid. "Where's Snoke's reconfigured throne room?"

"Wha...?"

Rey couldn't much make out Blaze's face, but he sounded startled by the question. "Snoke," she emphasised, trying to keep her voice low and controlled. "I  _have_  to find him. Ben and Ami are in trouble—"

"Daddy! Sissy!" Astrid whined, obviously frightened, and tore at the back of Rey's robes.

Rey hushed her daughter quietly, gathering the five-year old closer whilst speaking in a rushed, forcefully confident tone, "I'm going to find them, sweetie,  _I promise_. Everything's going to be all right."

"Rey," Blaze interjected, with calmness, "what's going on?"

Rey leapt to her feet, though Astrid continued to pine for her hands and arms and anything she could grab onto. "You  _need_  to tell me where he is.  _Now, Blaze_."

"I..." Blaze, nervous, pitched his flashlight in the general direction that lay behind her. "That way. First right and then left. Giant decorative doors. You can't miss it. Well, maybe with this power outage you can."

Rey gave the area a glance over, but Blaze was right: there wasn't much to assess or distinguish without proper lighting. "All right," she concluded and turned in the direction of Chewie and Blaze. "Give me the flashlight. You know this place better than any of us, Blaze. Get the children to Ben's ship and wait there for us. If we're not..." She reluctantly stressed, though she hated having to do so in front of Han and Astrid, "If the situation becomes too dangerous, take off, if you must."

Han immediately started towards his mother, drawn forward by the sound of her voice. "But Mum—"

" _No 'buts'_ , Han." Rey sensed her son's advance desist, his body slowly reeled backward by one of Chewie's firm paws. "Look after your sister for me, you understand?"

Han, blinking to try to better see his mother's collected, open face, stuttered, "I... I will."

"Good boy." She turned towards Blaze, perceiving him to be closest to her, and felt the handle of the flashlight being rammed into her hand. "Get them to safety, Blaze. I'm counting on you...and so is Ben."

Then Rey sped off, ducking out and around people and using the flashlight to make her way towards her captured husband and daughter. Astrid tried to run after her, but there was little use in attempting to locate her with so many people around and the flashlight dodging out of sight. Blaze caught her before she could make a break for Rey.

Rey's heart clenched at overhearing her daughter's small pleas for her return but, soon enough, they faded. She careened ahead, striving to get to those who needed her now more than ever: Ben and Amidala. She prayed against hope that she wasn't too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N (cont.) : Thank you to those who review...**


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Notes : Hello, dear readers! This one has been a long-time coming (well, it's one of _several_ long-awaited moments for me in this story, at least), so I hope it meets people's expectations...**
> 
> **As always, your comments motivate these updates, so please take a moment at the end to review, if you would. It only takes a few moments and would mean an awful lot...**
> 
> **Disclaimer : _Star Wars_ is copyrighted to and belongs to George Lucas, Disney, etc. I'm just playing with one of their cruisers and enjoying myself. No money, just fun.**

** **

**Chapter 24**

_"My mother is pure radiance. She is the sun I can touch and kiss and hold without getting burnt."_

—Sanober Khan

_Leia made the slowest progression of all frantically running Resistance personnel to the front of their bare-boned but holding, old Rebel Alliance post, eying the outline of the Millennium Falcon over with two mirroring thoughts in mind: churning trepidation that had her stomach in knots...and the most desperate of hopes, which she had clung to relentlessly for more than a decade._

_From the outside, and as their enemy had (rather stupidly) underestimated about the Falcon in its past battle-worn history, the infamous light freighter appeared, by all accounts, harmless. The choking exhaust from the engine left some Resistance members coughing and shielding their faces, whilst others unconsciously raised their weapons in the air, as if prepared to fire upon the ship's occupants, though they were well-attuned to their allegiance to the general._

_There would be no need for a fight here—at, least, that's what the Resistance mistakenly assumed—but a heart-pounding Leia Organa-Solo wasn't quite as convinced...yet. She knew Rey and her long, lost brother were aboard the Falcon, and that should have offered her nothing outside of complete confidence in this re-acquaintance of sorts, except for something else—some_ one _, rather—who now had her scrambling her brain as to how best to proceed._

_Standing several feet behind her surviving staff and looking the epitome of calm and righteousness, Leia didn't so much as twitch a muscle as the ship's exhaust momentarily blinded her ability, as well as everyone else's, to distinguish the newly arriving freighter from the interior of their base. To an ordinary observer, her surveillance of the Falcon looked like a patient waiting game, anticipating Rey and Chewie to descend the ramp and report their completion (or failure) of their mission as soon as they had finished powering down the ship; but for Leia, that same careful, outwardly collected scrutiny overshadowed a much deeper, far more detrimental waring going on within her soul._

_Han's beloved Falcon was a stinging reminder of one of Leia's greatest loves (and most recent losses), but it spoke of only one paramount tragedy in the woman's life. The other, unbeknownst to the rest of the Resistance, lay beyond the Falcon's walls, evasive and retreating from her Light like an abused, caged animal wishing to flee its confinements. His Light, well-remembered but far smaller than hers, weakened and suffocated by a monster who had kept her, too, up at all hours of the night, curled itself into a protective ball at her innocent inquiry. That defensive streak of his was a heart-wrenching reminder of a once petrified, defenceless young child whom Snoke, to this day, continued to pray and chew upon as an unknowable adult: her son._

Ben...

_Leia had sensed a disturbance in the Force as soon as the Falcon entered the isolated planet of Crait, paving its way through the clouds towards the deserted outpost she had led the Resistance to; or, rather, what was left of their cause. She immediately felt Ben's presence, torn and shaky and unwelcoming, well before the flight controllers (still in working order but terribly outdated) detected the ship on their satellites; prior to Chewie speaking in Wookie over the intercom to request entry through the creaky, massive metal doors erected into the side of a mountain, which acted as the main entry and exit route for their base._

_Leia, disturbed by the stunning detection of her son on board the Falcon, tried to straighten in the control room and take a few deep breaths prior to their arrival. Breathing exercises proved entirely unhelpful, however, for no amount of preparation could emotionally equip her for such a pivotal moment as this._

_She had prayed for such a reunion, for what so many had deemed an 'impossibility' for so many years: Ben Solo's return. Now, or so it would seem, she and Ben were to confront one another at last._

No... It _can't_ be?

_Yet, as the Falcon's rumbling engine stilled, there, Ben could be perceived within, pacing and attempting to hide from her, much like he used to do as a mere boy when he knew he was in for a 'good talking to' from his mother, usually for sounding off during one of her tiresome Senate meetings, for acting out against his tutors, or for not listening to the nanny whenever he was left in someone else's charge. And, to a guilt-ridden Leia, that had been far too often the case for Ben in childhood: an endless series of seemingly neglected hand offs to others rather than remaining with the two people he needed most in his troubled life, his parents._

_Each blinding step forward felt like another eternity in the pursuit of the return of her son, of another despondent hope too quickly dashed by those who believed Leia's life and blood was nothing more but a murderer._ Ben...

_The last of the exhaust from the freighter lifted and curious personnel, taking note of Leia's cautious-prone steps, moved aside to give her headway, though they kept their guns close at hand._ _Leia was at the front of the swarm of gathering staff once the ramp to the Falcon lowered. The tall and petite forms of Chewie and Rey came into view, racing down the ramp to greet the general in a flurry of warm hugs and exchanges which she welcomed._

_Leia craned her neck to see past Chewie's mound of fur, spotting a third member of their party now descending the ramp, and at a much slower gait. The faintest gasp escaped her lungs. The hood of the man's cloak concealed his face, but she identified a trim, grey beard and a slightly sloped mouth._

" _Luke," Leia greeted her brother graciously, lovingly, despite the purposeful distance manifesting in her eyes. She refused to give way to emotion; there would be private opportunities for such sentiment later._

_Reading her qualms, mixed with enduring love for him, Luke stepped forward, swallowed his pride and removed his hood, presenting her with a heartening, half smile. "Leia," he whispered and enfolded her small hands in his. "It's..." he paused, stumped with what to say precisely, for a lifetime existed between them, both together and parted, "been a long time."_

" _That, it has." Leia squeezed Luke's hands in return and leaned in for a hug. "I've been searching for you...everywhere..."_

" _I know," Luke acknowledged quietly into her shoulder, his conveyance wrought with regret. His face, too, was repentant once Leia reared back and released him of their embrace. "Leia, I'm so sorry. I owe you so many explanations—"_

" _Yes, you_ do _." That naturally authoritative air that stemmed from a lifetime of giving orders swiftly returned, its effect direct and cutting, and Luke flinched. Leia raised her head and spoke more appealingly to him, "We have so much to discuss, you and I. We need you, Luke._ I _need you, now more than ever..."_

_Luke nodded acceptingly, with an expression of abashed modesty, but his regard soon transformed from avid warmth and uncertainty as to his sister's greeting to profound, greater dubiousness about something far more pressing. "Leia," he issued quietly, "he's come. Ben." The pause that followed the utterance of her son's name strengthened the magnitude of the moment. Leia's rich, brown eyes swarmed with a fluctuation of clouded emotions. "He's here."_

_It seemed to take Leia considerable effort to reply but she finally did, stating faintly, "I know." Luke politely gestured for her to take his arm but her gaze, irresolute and critical, switched from him to a spot well past his shoulder, beyond the Falcon's ramp. "No..." she asserted, though her voice was strained and soft. "I'll go alone."_

" _General." It was Rey who suddenly spoke up and stepped forward, sounding respectful but urgent, "He's...a bit out of sorts. This is a lot for him."_

" _I understand that," Leia accepted, sounding much calmer than she really felt._

" _I'd like to come with you, all the same," Rey insisted, the wavering expression she wore piquing Leia's nerves._

_Luke, too, surprised his sister by rising to his apprentice's defence. "He trusts her. Well," he tried for an understanding, yet still greatly vague, explanation, "they...trust each other. You'll do better with him if Rey's present, I think."_

_Not comprehending whatever_ _that_ _meant, and not wishing to delay seeing her son a moment longer, Leia simply encouraged Rey to lead the way up the ramp. "All right, then. Please...take me to him."_

_Rey complied at once, requesting that Chewie stand down, as the Wookie was grumbling about wishing to join them, if only to offer her and Leia added protection, by patting his furry arm. She swept by Leia and Luke and headed into the Falcon, with Leia dawdling a moment longer to command to her staff to "get back to their positions". Then she followed Rey up the ramp, with Luke close on her heel._

_Stepping onto the Falcon for the first time in years was a strange case of_ _déjà vu that hit Leia like being zapped by Force lightening. She hadn't wanted to chance overstepping her boundaries by inspecting the ship the last time she had seen it—Han had been in the midst of working out another faulty compartment or other, which Leia couldn't remember, prior to his ill-fated journey to Starkiller base—and the jolt of the memory left a throbbing pain in the centre of her chest that couldn't be subdued. She flexed her hand to keep from pressing that same hand to her heart and let the remembrance pass over her._ _She had kept her footing—and her heart—in check at the time, allowing Han to bring her into an embrace that echoed of wishful sentiments no longer obtainable. She had beseeched him to bring Ben home should he encounter their son on Starkiller base..._

And then I sent him to his death.

_Thankfully—or not—Leia was distracted from that sobering reminder by the stirring of a volatile Ben close by. Either he had read his mother's unfortunate recollection or was reacting to the passing thought of Han. Regardless, Leia's legs seemed to move of their own accord through the interior of the winding freighter, her gaze straight and narrow, despite the anxiety that was building inside of her. Her feet slowed to a standstill once they reached the confined galley area. Here, Rey, too, was holding back from venturing any farther. She turned to Leia, as if to assess that the general was fit to carry on, and cast her attention upon a darkened corner just to the left of the stove. She gently called out a questioning, "Ben?" into the darkness and everyone collectively held their breaths._

_It took Leia a moment to realise that the lofty shadow in the corner wasn't a shadow at all. Ben, hunched sideways and crouching thanks to the ceilings being too low to contain his oversized frame, twisted to stand upright, making his presence known. Leia skidded backwards at the shadow of the unrecognisable man, whom she couldn't identify by such intimidating height alone. Ben stepped forward and a ray of artificial light caught the scar that ran diagonally across his face—a violent marking that, to Leia, was new and hardened what had otherwise been beautifully soft features—and, finally, Leia was looking upon her son with her own eyes._

_For a precious, heart-stopping moment, all fear and restlessness trickled to the back of Leia's senses, replaced by a cruel solace for the boy who had drifted from her so many years before. It was like being reunited with a severed limb, neatly and effortlessly sowed back into place, and yet, there was nothing pretty and orderly to this overdue reunion._

_Leia swallowed against the swelling in her throat, and her voice broke once she spoke his name aloud. "Ben." She hardly recognised the sound of herself and, evidently, neither did he, for his dark eyes veered from the ground and back to her several times over, as if they couldn't quite comprehend whom they were looking at. Their beady contemplation imparted a mistrustfulness which, too, fractured some of the badly glued pieces of Leia's heart._

_Why should she have anticipated any other reaction aside from doubt and, perhaps, hatred, from the son who believed his parents had abandoned him to the Dark Side of his soul? Her legs flowed towards him in spite of these heart-wrenching predictions, halting at Ben's knee-jerk reaction, which was to, at once, withdrawal back to the corner from where he had been obscured. Her hand rose and reached for him, causing Ben to solidify where he stood, still seen, and yet, so foreign._

" _No, please," she choked, pleaded. "Ben..."_

_It wasn't in Leia's nature to beg—normally, she would rather die than grovel before anyone—but in this poignant moment between her and the one person who had been her entire Universe, even as he teared through that Universe and set it on fire star by star, Leia didn't give less of a damn if she appeared weak, nor if showing tears might only make Ben loath her more so. She loved him and would have sliced every part of herself in half if he demanded it. And she wouldn't put it past him to carry the intent to make her suffer. She would welcome it as she welcomed him: fully and with every breath she had left in her small body._

_Ben bestowed no reply or any recognition of his mother's feelings, though his Darkness, which he had been fighting to assert control over, flared and foamed at the mouth as she drew closer. Her Light was steadfast in its want to be near, loving, disinclined to fight, and determined to take his brutality on the cheek, if she had to. He stared without seeing her, however—his vision only that of barbaric red flames—and missed the flood of emotions that fell over his mother's pained, fragile face._

" _Oh, Ben..." she murmured, with the echo of a great sadness that touched every corner of the room._

_Ascertaining Ben's rage was easily managed. He may have appeared unaffected on the outside, but Leia_ knew _he was judging every ounce of her feeble emotional state, sounding off like drums against every mistake she had made when it had come to his welfare: the heartache she had caused him in sending him away to his uncle; the sadistic irony in her refusal to address the Dark Side of her family lineage and how it directly correlated to Ben's struggles; her complete inability to apprehend the monster who had molested her son's soul night after night, with her knowledge, even as he cried out to her for help and she, to his grisly way of thinking, had done nothing to put a stop to the suffering._

" _Oh, Ben..."_

_She would have apologised till the end of days...if he would accept it. She had imagined her apology numerous times over in her mind, most of which involved her prostrating to her grown son on her hands and knees, and in countless different forms, but now an 'I'm sorry' felt puny and insignificant to the abundance of shame Leia had been left to endure in Ben's absence. She had pushed that guilt away in order to cope—in order to live with herself—but that condemnation was having none of her lamentations now and, by all appearances, neither was Ben._

_Ben and his Dark energy shrunk from Leia's outstretched hand, snarling and wary of her Light and love. As though that same hand had been smacked in order to halt its advance, Leia lowered it to her side, though it fisted and fidgeted to touch what had long been denied to her; to, perhaps, cradle her son's tormented face or stroke his cheek, no longer soft like a child's but bristly like a man's, or tousle his thick locks which had grown too long._

" _I..." Leia hitched a breath, catching the desperation in her voice; it wouldn't be assuaged. "I'm so glad you're here, Ben."_

" _Are you?" he challenged, spiteful, breathing forcefully through flared nostrils. "Are you_ really _, Mother?"_

_Though the question held no malice, there was no love in it either, nor by the cold manner in which he addressed her. That delivery burned Leia's bones. She set her jaw tighter and held back what would have resulted in an innumerable amount of tears._

" _I... I am." She saw Ben's jaw, too, clench and sighed. He didn't believe her, and why should he? She was his mother, and she had failed him in every possible way that Leia Organa-Solo could fall short of motherly expectations. "Please...come. We can make up a room for you."_

_Ben's leery eyes darted from Leia to Rey, as if he required the young woman's added confirmation that his mother's intentions were trustworthy. Leia did her best to ignore the harshness in that slight._

" _Please, Ben," she entreated him in a dejected, tightly construed whisper, "come...with me..."_

*** * * * * ***

" _She meant a_ prison _cell, more like, not a room."_

" _This is hardly a prison," Rey snorted. "She doesn't know you yet, Ben. I mean, she_ knows _you, yes—you're her son—but she doesn't trust you in the same way we do. Not yet."_

" _Oh, so it's 'we' now?" he derided, with a long, spine-inducing sneer that had Rey holding back a retort. "When did that miraculous change in my uncle come about? Mid-flight; or was it directly after you stopped him from trying to murder me a second time?"_

_Rey rolled her eyes and moved away from the invasive glass window, arms crossed securely over her chest. She didn't care much for the topic of the esteemed Jedi Master and his questionable actions when it had come to his nephew and the treatment of his sister, so she shoved it away to somewhere unobtainable for the time being._

" _Don't be dramatic, Ben."_

_With a sigh, Rey plopped onto the portable cot next to Ben and dismissed his sustaining scowl, amused, rather, with how the man's gigantic body, now hunched forward, with the toes of his boots curled inward, appeared far too big for such an average-sized bed. She half wondered if his legs would fit once he lay down or if they would dangle over the sides as they had with the mattress she and Ben had shared on Ahch-To. Her heart skipped a beat at remembering such intimate observances from the island. She playfully nudged Ben's arm._

" _Besides, this is a class above a prison cell. You have an actual bed to sleep on."_

" _And an audience to watch me sleep, apparently," Ben deadpanned, staring aversively at the glass window in front of them, where a few unfamiliar faces were peering back, intrigued but undoubtedly agitated to have the former First Order commander under their jurisdiction._

_Just outside was a low lit corridor, with the base's main control room roughly ten feet away on the opposite end, also visible behind glass. Leia and Luke stood in the centre, leaning against a lone desk conveniently sandwiched in between Ben and the Resistance. A guard would have likely been stationed there otherwise, Ben surmised, but his mother was evidently wishing to control the situation where he was concerned._

_Rey snorted again, this time at the behaviour of clumsily observing staff members, and kept her gaze on Ben's profile. "It could be worse, and you know it."_

" _It's only because your Resistance has greatly decreased in numbers," he pointed out, giving a general air of disapproval to the dingy room they occupied, "and lacking in proper interrogation resources that I haven't been confined." His eyes lastly settled upon Rey, their regard far less gall than they were with the rest of the Resistance's thoroughly lacking settings; or what little, so far, he had ascertained of them. "If the war were going in your favour, things would be vastly different for me right about now."_

_Rey reared back. "Won't you give your own mother a little more credit than that?"_

_Ben's lips curled into a suggestive smile. "Can't you ever acknowledge things that make you uncomfortable?"_

_Annoyed by his throwing the subject back onto her, and yet, too easily goaded by such a line of questioning, Rey hoisted a hand firmly on her hip and stared him down. "Such as?" she challenged defensively._

_Ben's eyes glimmered with unreleased provocation. "_ Us _, for example."_

*** * * * * ***

" _What is it with those two?"_

_Luke hacked into his cup of tea and rubbed at his seemingly sore throat. "I haven't the slightest," he croaked, an outlandish lie Leia saw straight through, particularly when she proceeded to scrutinise her withholding brother in that gifted, perceptively sharp manner of hers._

"Oh _?" she coolly challenged, to which Luke blushed and hastened to take another gulp of his lukewarm tea, diverting his gaze in the process._

_Content to let it go for now, Leia resumed her casual watch of Ben and Rey from behind the glass, which Luke silently welcomed and joined in on for a time; but the quarrelling pair seemed to have forgotten they were under a microscope. Their heads wedged closer and closer together the more whatever heated row they were having intensified, their faces flushed, their mouths fast-moving, and their hands highly animated._

" _Did you train her as well?" Leia asked offhandedly a few moments later, not tearing her gaze away from the glass._

" _To the best of my abilities." Luke sighed disparagingly. "Rey can be...headstrong, but she picks things up like a—"_

" _No,_ before _, I meant."_

" _Oh." Luke's tongue was caught by hesitation. He took a moment to study his sister's latest intricate hairstyle—two perfectly formed buns at the back of her head and held together by a single, interweaving braid—uncertain of where she was headed with this low-key interrogation of hers. "Yes, I did. She knew Ben..."_

" _When he was still Ben," Leia finished for him in a clearly pained, soft-spoken whisper._

_Luke's carefully crafted mask wilted. "He_ is _still Ben, Leia. He's still in there."_

" _Did you see the way he looked at me in that galley?" she claimed, forlorn and lost in her thoughts. "As though I were worse than Snoke; worse than anyone who's ever mistreated him..."_

" _Nonsense."_

_Luke noted the tightness in Leia's shoulders. They were trembling. She hadn't turned from the window since Ben's arrival, despite constant interruptions from staff seeking her approval or instructions on militia-related matters. She visibly swallowed but held her head high._

" _I'm not quite ready to have every last hope dashed, Luke. I want to believe you're right. I_ want _to believe in my son..."_

_Luke, taken aback by his sister's sudden bout of candidness, proposed heartily, "So,_ believe _, Leia, as you always have."_

" _I... I can still see my son but...so much in him has changed; so much in him is sullen and broken."_

" _But not beyond repair," Luke patiently countered her._

" _He's been away too long, Luke." Her voice marginally cracked. "There's too much resentment towards me he hasn't released."_

" _And too much guilt in_ you _, I fear." Luke stroked a caring thumb across Leia's elbow. "Meet in the middle."_

" _I fear I...I'm too late."_

" _It's_ never _too late, sis." Witnessing the burdens she carried so heavily, he pressed, though his words were hushed and reluctant, "Leia, we_ all _failed Ben, not just you... We each have something to atone for. We can only move forward from here, Ben included."_

_That insightful remark finally drew Leia out of her shame-filled bout of moroseness. She blinked and ripped her gaze away from her son, who had leapt to his feet, criss-crossed his hands behind his head, and stalked to the nearest wall, supposedly content to stare at something bare and immobile rather than Rey's freshly disgusted frown._

" _What do you mean, Luke?" she asked, angst-ridden, catching her brother's nervous tick._

" _I..."_

" _Oh, you're_ impossible _!" came an exasperated huff from Rey that disrupted hers and Luke's chatter._

_Rey slammed the warded, clicking door on her way out of Ben's makeshift holding cell and was instantly met by Leia's and Luke's intrusive stares, as well as several other raised eyebrows from personnel who happened to be passing by. The colour in her face brightened._

_"Sorry, General," she mumbled, finding it trying to maintain eye contact. "I was just... Erm, I mean, I was trying to..." Peeved, she spat whilst locking a foot to the ground, "Your son's in a bloody mood and I'm_ tired _!"_

_Luke gulped down the remainder of his tea to keep from laughing, rather determined to stay out of this latest uproar between his wilful apprentice and grumpy-prone nephew, whilst Leia loosened her shoulders and ordered her too slow-poking staff to quicken their pace back to their stations. They scurried along as commanded, leaving the corridor soon quiet and vacant once more, save for one unexpected addition to their party who had gone unnoticed until that moment._

"Rey _?"_

_Rey's distracted anger deflated at the sound of that voice and her eyes followed suit, expanding as they took in an equally surprised Finn standing feet behind Luke and Leia and wearing a dangling, open mouth._

"Finn _!" she exclaimed._

_The two best mates rushed at each other at the same time and speed, bounding into one another's arms as though they were the closest of siblings rather than recently made friends. Each dissolved into a gust of eager chatter._

" _We've been so worried about you!" Finn rambled, thunderstruck to be embracing Rey again. He continued gaping as he reared back to inspect her more closely, and she did likewise._

" _I was worried about_ you _!" Her hands slid up and down Finn's face and arms. "You're - You're all right! Oh, thank goodness!" She threw her arms around Finn a second time, sending him off balance, but he quickly recovered. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Finn! I didn't want to leave you but I had to find—"_

" _Master...Luke, I presume?" Finn suggested, having turned his curious gaze towards the only other person in the corridor who could possibly inhibit such a legendary name: the oddly-dressed monk draped in long, beige-coloured robes and a beard._

_Master Luke nodded agreeably, though he looked a bit unhinged at being addressed. "That would be me, yes."_

_Rey released Finn of her fierce grip and smiled encouragingly. "He's here to help." She clapped Finn on the shoulders. "Oh, but there's so much I have to tell you! I've been training and—"_

" _What's_ he _doing here?" Finn interrupted in a low, aggressive tone this time that, for a moment, silenced Rey. She noted how the former Stormtrooper's eyes had hardened as well._

_A reluctant Rey followed the trail of her friend's glare, her heart sinking at the paralleled glower that loomed back at them; or at Finn, rather. Ben, looking vulnerable and exposed, and with heightened colour in his cheeks, maintained hostile eye contact with Finn from behind his glass cage._

" _Finn..." Rey softly pleaded._

_Finn, in turn, whirled around to address Leia. "Why's Kylo Ren here, General? Was he captured?" His eyes widened, unnerved. "Did he—? Did he_ sneak _his way inside? How'd he get in here?"_

_Leia inhaled a breath but kept a level head as she revealed, speaking patiently, "He's my son, actually."_

_Finn startled and his stony reserve faltered. Rey gently touched his arm, but the man was too engrossed in his own thoughts, trying to process the rapid release of information he was being fed._

" _And he came of his own choosing," Master Luke piped in as well. "No one forced his hand."_

_Rey, sensing Finn's rising temper but desperate to reach him, spoke in a quiet voice, "He came...with us."_

_At last, Finn spun around and faced her, still in obvious shock. "With_ you _?"_

_It was accusatory rather than searching. Rey winced and latched tighter onto his arm._

" _Yes... I - I know this is all rather confusing," she emphasised as Finn's eyes resumed their scathing surveillance of Ben, who was standing perfectly still behind the glass, his stare, too, unwavering, "but, trust me, Finn, he's all right." She gave Ben a brief, censorious look over as well, adding, with bite out of the side of her mouth, "Aggravating as all getup but... He's_ more _than all right."_

_Finn closed his mouth and clamped his fists. He opted to say nothing more._

*** * * * * ***

_Leia was prodded awake late in the evening by a low-ranking, jittery-acting officer. The young man, whose age couldn't be much older than Ben's, jostled backward and righted himself as the general's head rose from the desk, eyes respectfully cast towards the floor. He was accompanied by an energetic astromech droid, who extended one of its mechanical prods to poke the officer in the rear, causing him to jump farther back._

" _I'm sorry to disturb you, General," the officer sputtered, doing his best to disregard the naughty droid, "but Master Luke insisted that I wake you by midnight if you weren't up and about. He asked that I relieve you."_

" _Midnight, you say?" Leia mumbled and rubbed gingerly at her forehead. "Is that how late it is?" The astromech droid wobbled forward, beeped a couple times, and Leia, though spent, titled her head in understanding. "Is that so, R2?" she answered, providing a small smirk. "Nice to see he's already putting my best droids to use. You can tell Luke that I'm not ready to retire just yet."_

_She craned her neck to peer up at the apologetic officer from her slouched position behind the desk she had been standing at for most of the day. "Thank you, Officer Blake, but I'll take the night shift."_

_Blake chanced a glance into the general's eyes, his own somewhat combative. "But, General—"_

_Leia waved him off. "I can handle it. Go on. Get some sleep, Officer. We're all going to be in need of rest, I'm afraid, and there won't be much of it in the days ahead."_

_Blake dithered for a couple seconds, his pause long enough that R2D2 wheeled around and stabbed him again in the rear. Blake jerked, cursed at the droid under his breath, and obeyed, shuffling down the empty corridor and disappearing around a corner._

_Leia's smile extended to the feisty droid. "There are nicer ways to go about getting what you want, R2."_

_R2D2 made a high-pitched noise that sounded disagreeable. His head twirled in the direction of Ben's holding cell, as did Leia's, for abrupt, muffled talking coming from that direction had distracted them. Leia's momentary lighter attitude diminished, replaced by a knowing frown._

" _Like I said," she cautioned as she rose to her feet, he short legs stiff from sitting, "_ I _can handle it, and you can tell Luke that for me. Go on, you."_

_R2D2 beep-bopped and glided off in the same direction as Blake, leaving Leia to attend to the one person whom she had been longing to speak to alone, and yet, was crippled by how to appropriately approach: her son. Either to her advantage or yet to be disadvantage, they were now by themselves and Ben was awake in his cell, for how long he had been wakeful Leia didn't know; but at present, he was out of bed and in the same clothes he had arrived in, though they were ruffled and wrinkled. His anxious, tall form paced back and forth beneath low lights that kept him visible at all times._

_He seemed oblivious to Leia watching him; or, perhaps, he simply didn't care whether his distant mother observed his behaviour or not. Every so often he waved a hand in the air, raked his fingers through his hair, or scowled pointedly at something in the room; something that appeared to be following him as he retreated from corner to corner. He mumbled occasionally under his breath words Leia couldn't make out, as though he were conversing with someone; or, at the very least, talking to himself._

_To the naked eye, there was no one else there save for Ben, but Leia knew better, and his conduct made her motherly instincts braver. She sucked in a shaky breath and advanced towards his cell, entering at a moment when Ben's back was conveniently turned and they were a safe distance apart. The door clicked to signal her entrance and Ben whirled about, rattled by the interruption; he had evidently been too distracted to sense her coming. Leia slowly stepped forward the rest of the way into his cell, allowing the door to drift shut behind her, and surveyed him for a moment in silence._

_Sadly, time hadn't been at all kind to her son, and the purple bags beneath Ben's eyes, dense and bothersome, were but a minuscule testament to a deeper set of struggles, as were the unsettling web of emotions readable in those dark, disquieted eyes. He was pasty and shattered, hollow and the embodiment of suffering, and Leia was at a complete loss as to how to begin to help heal the boy who had grown into a man—a stranger—in their many years spent separated by space and stars._

" _You've grown," she found herself remarking upon his height and build. She felt utterly foolish for saying so after the fact, however, and shifted her gaze about; but her eyes couldn't stray from Ben for too long._

_The crook of his mouth convulsed, as if annoyed, and his reply was grating and reminded Leia of those early, frustrating teenage years before she had sent her moody son off to train with Luke. "That tends to happen as children get older."_

_Leia forced a weak-mannered smile that too easily fractured at the seams. "Yes..." She chanced another step towards him and roped her arms around herself to keep steady. "Is - Is your bed uncomfortable?"_

_Ben's eyebrows folded together; his face was the only part of him willing to move at the moment. "What?"_

" _Your bed," Leia quietly stressed. "Is it all right? Is it too stiff?"_

_Ben glanced at the unremarkable cot and back to his mother, unfollowing. "It's fine."_

" _Oh. Good."_

_Leia made to ground herself, willing her nerves to relax. Once she felt slightly more settled, she searched Ben's face anew, overwhelmed by the underlying heartache and exhaustion from life she sensed and saw in him, and yet, was unwilling to turn away from the pain she wished she could now take from her son, in spite of their agonising estrangement. She wasn't quite ready to tackle their issues all in one go—there was a galaxy-worth of distress and trauma between them that would need considerable sorting through in order to make amends—and decided on a straightforward question that she hoped Ben would be willing to answer._

" _What made you decide to come back?"_

_Ben's gaze was haughty but measured. "That's a rather loaded question."_

" _But one we need to get to the bottom of."_

_He cocked his head, questioning. "'We'?"_

_Leia maintained an even-kilted expression, though the emotion in her eyes waffled. "The Resistance."_

" _Ah..." Ben replied, with a mocking air, as he scanned her petite form up and down, "but not you,_ Mother _."_

_Leia stretched her neck, unwilling to let the pain of her son addressing her so frostily show. "Of course me, too."_

" _But you want to protect_ them _first and foremost," he snorted and slid towards the wall, away from her; she felt his Dark energy surging. "You always wanted to protect everyone else...before me."_

_Leia's shoulders collapsed. "That isn't fair, Ben," she counselled, unaware of how wounded she sounded. "I_ did _want to protect you—"_

" _You're a liar," he spat, the Darkness within him rising and rearing its ugly head. Leia's Light held firm, though it jolted at being so crudely spoken to. "You, Uncle Luke..." His voice turned slighter as he nearly whimpered, "Dad... You were_ all _a bunch of liars and users."_

_Leia's Light half extended towards him, wishing only to comfort, but Ben's Darkness retracted, evading her grasp. It withered and shrunk back to his side, disabled by the acceptance of her warmth in the face of long-held animosity._

" _Ben," she lovingly implored, her eyes staring with open anguish and dismay, "do you_ really _hate us that much?"_

_Ben retreated farther into himself, his expression laborious but constricted. "I don't hate anyone," he, instead, muttered towards the ground._

" _Because we love_ you _." She paused, her words catching as she continued, "Your father loved you...very much." Ben jerked, as though she had slapped him across the cheek, and turned away from her, prompting Leia to be both frank and (hopefully) soothing when she added, "He won't leave you, you know. You're his son."_

_Ben's upper body stiffened. He snipped to the wall, "I'll make him go."_

_Leia shook her head. "I've tried. It doesn't work."_

_Ben peered at her over his shoulder, intrigued, but catching sight of her entirely too soft, understanding look grieved him. He was reminded of the exceptionally regal beauty from his childhood, tough as nails when it was so often required of her to be but sweet and doting on him. Always._

" _He shouldn't be coming to you," he said. "You didn't...end his life."_

_Leia's resilience withered a little more at that. She unlocked her arms and replied through a shuddering breath, "Who knows what your father's reasons are for coming to me at all hours of the night but...he haunts me, too." She swiped some non-existing dirt off of her trousers, as if to scrape at the pitiless end to her grief, whilst Ben's eyes remained glued on her. Then she offered him another fractured smile. "You might be happy to hear that we don't bicker much anymore. We mostly talk about...you; how much we've missed you..."_

" _Then you've been wasting valuable time, both here_ and _in the afterlife," Ben grumbled and turned to face the wall once more, silently dismissing her._

_Leia drew in another intentionally long breath that released from her in an audible sigh. She sunk onto his unoccupied cot and, staring at the back of Ben's head, patted at the empty spot next to her, eyes beseeching._

" _Sit?" Ben, curious but entirely ill at ease, glanced over his shoulder again. Leia gestured him over to her with more pats to his cot. "Please?" she asked, with the stoic politeness of a hostess._

_Ben, though overtly discomforted by the idea of venturing any closer, considered his mother's proposal. She motioned a third time for him to have a seat, which convinced him to do as she so desperately desired. He strolled to the cot in a mere two strides and stiffly sat._

_Uneasy and twitchy, Ben slid closer to his pillow. Not knowing what to do with his hands either, he rubbed them a few times on his thighs before stilling them over the top of his knees. He could feel the weight of his mother's eyes on him, evaluating every physical marking and crevice, many of which had emerged after they had parted ways._

_It was, at first, disarming to Leia to take in how abundantly her son had, indeed, grown and evolved. His exceedingly long legs spread nearly the entire length of her body, even more so once seated and awkwardly bent. It was hard to fathom that such a well-built man had once suitably fit in her arms, wherein she had coddled and kissed him profusely until he was all but screaming to be set free. She had physically overpowered the former First Order commander at one time, and been able to smooch him to her heart's content, even as he wiggled and writhed against her love tokens._

_Now, Ben Solo could probably snap the general in half like a twig, if he so desired, but Leia wasn't at all intimidated by such a probability, merely ashamed of how much of her son growing into a man she had missed out on. Yet, there were still elements of the child she had reared and cherished seated at her side; aspects of someone who had been forced into growing up well before he should have or was ready to; echoes of a lost, little boy trapped in a man's body._

_Unconsciously, Leia reached out to touch his face—one that remained precious and dearest to her, regardless of the horrors that face had since committed—and, though he hadn't been looking at her, Ben's head snapped sideways and reared back. His warning-like stare left her hand hanging in mid-air._

" _May I?" she proposed, hushed, not detecting the frailty in her own request._

_Ben's jaw clenched, his eyes thinking, and then, to her relief, he shrugged. Feeling increasingly uncomfortable, he stared at his boots rather than at her._

" _I guess."_

_Leia wasn't to be dissuaded or put off by her son's lack of wanting to be close to her. Not now, anyway, for she had come too far in finally retrieving him. Without hesitation, she extended her reach and, at last, touched Ben's right cheek, polished but for that savage scar that cut into the unevenness of his skin. Her fingertips hovered there, lightly grazing over every fine line, searching, remembering, aching. She wasn't aware of holding her breath or that her heart was beating twice as fast, as was his. She barely managed to contain a sob and her ability only worsened when she felt Ben shiver and recoil under her touch, one which was borne out of tenderness and an all-consuming love for him rather than abusive in its claims over his soul and robbing of his childhood. What little of his Dark energy that remained in the room shrivelled, determined to preserve itself and keep Leia from corrupting it at its source._

" _Oh, Ben..." Leia bemoaned, stricken by the purgatory she detected behind his pale skin and ragged breaths._

_There was the strangle to_ be _again; the throttling to hold on to what little purpose he could find in his hollow existence, a life that had never really been his own to make of as he chose but designed_ for _him; the terrible awareness in knowing he had failed to meet Snoke's great expectations for that life, and that he was no Master of Darkness but destined to remain a pitiable Child of the Light forevermore; the soul-crushing realisation that had come to pass with the taking of his father's life: that Darkness would never claim him as its worthy prince and that he had lost, lost everything and everyone; and the instant, irrepressible regret that had laboured over him ever since the day Han died._

_The answer Leia had been seeking was suddenly breathtakingly clear. It was why Ben Solo had come home: he could no longer deny who he was. He was her son, a Solo and Prince of the Light, and there could be no other path for his tormented soul, no matter how badly_ _Snoke tried to mould it into something else_ _._

" _Oh, my boy..." Leia whispered, instantly moved to tears. She sensed Ben's conscientious efforts to withdraw emotion, to bar himself from feeling as she was so deeply experiencing in that moment. "My poor boy... My poor, precious boy..."_

" _I...am no longer...your boy," he grappled to speak, voice restricted, yet irrevocably heartbroken._

_Leia, unable to stop herself, leaned into him and grasped both sides of Ben's face. His hair acted as a security measure, however, with thick strands dangling in his eyes and masking much of his steely, controlled misery. He refused to meet her gaze and, rather, shut his eyes and breathed strenuously._

" _You will_ always _be my boy, Ben," Leia professed, her words never more adamant and truer to the ears, as tears began freely pouring down her face, their appearance Ben's painful cleansing, "no matter what you do. No matter what happens."_

" _Mother..." he muttered into one of her palms, his breathing tight and crushed._

" _You will_ always _be mine._ My _boy," she emphasised, lovingly cradling his face despite his repeated attempts to hide himself. Her thumbs made gentle strokes across his wet cheekbones. "I love you, Ben, do you understand me? I've_ never _stopped loving you._ Never _. Nothing you say or do will_ ever _change how much you mean to me."_

" _Mo - Mother..." he stammered, breathless, and clutched onto one of her hands. It effortlessly covered hers._

_Leia scooted closer, pressed an urgent kiss to his cheek, and affirmed, with her lips brushing that same dampened cheek, "You are my boy, you hear? My all. My_ everything _."_

_Ben finally surrendered, collapsing the majority of his bundled weight against Leia, who was ready to receive him. She swaddled him close, gathering as much of him as she could, and kept a hand woven across his shoulder whilst the other supported his crumbled face into the crook of her arm. His cries were stifled, protected, as Leia brushed a soothing hand over his wide back and shoulders, hovered over him, and persistently kissed the top of his head._

" _It's going to be all right, my son," Leia whispered into his hair, rocking them back and forth in the darkness, with the sensation that Han was watching in a nearby corner. "We're going to get through this. I have you now, my boy. I've got you and I'll never let go again, I promise."_

_From beyond a wall that met the corridor's large opening, Rey watched the tearful reunion of mother and son from her private corner, silent tears cascading down her cheeks as well. She could feel the tightness in Ben's chest releasing with the cries he unleashed, as much as she knew her own heartbeats._ He was returned _, she realised, her own chest swelling with awe and wonderment._ Ben's turned at last...

_Suddenly perceiving Master Luke standing behind her, Rey started and slunk backward against the wall. She was grateful for the natural darkness concealing her blush at having gotten herself caught snooping about._

_Master Luke's eyes, too, were misty, but his order bore no room for debate. "Go back to bed, Rey."_

_Rey, blushing and tearful, wasted no time arguing. For once, she fully obeyed her teacher and scampered down the hallway out of sight._

_Master Luke lingered a moment more, the image of his nephew and his sister latched onto each other vivid in his mind as much as, he suspected, Rey's. Then he returned to his designated cot,_ _not to rest but to meditate over this major turn of events_ _._

**Author's Note:**

> **Check out my Tumblr[here](http://crmediagal.tumblr.com/) if you wanna drop me a note or say hello!**


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